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 Post subject: 18 Days? Hope? No way!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 9:28 pm 
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Well, after 2 years and 2 months of taking an average of 6-8 mgs of film per day (the last week was 10 mgs, rx'd by my psychiatrist that I've had this whole time and have always been honest about sub abuse, drinking...), I was done. Also, I was drinking around a bottle a day for the last 3 months because I didn't want to get involved with illegal people, start smoking pot and eventually do dope again.

So, I said fuggit and went to detox because I've TRIED tapering subs for the last 2 plus years (and failed miserably. Oh yeah, for the blackout drinking too ;P Hmmmmm, something about an addict doing ANY kind of taper doesn't compute in my mind. I just know it's not possible for ME) and I can't get the idea of when I go to NA that "I'm not really clean because I'm on Subs thoughts outta my head!"

So, they gave me Subutex 2 mg the first day and 4 mg the next day, and then I told them I was jumping. So I agreed to Naltrexone the next day while in detox and gave me like 1 mg every few hours. So.... You guessed it, it precipiated wd's like a mf'er (which I didn't know) Energy went from like 3/10 to negative 3/10, and I've never been so cold in my life, which was good because I only hate being hot cuz I sweat through everything. Appetite went from 9/10 even with a decrease in the sub for a few days, to like 2/10, nowhere near not having an appetite coming off dope but no picnic either.

Anyhooter, I felt like complete ass the whole nine days (luckily they didn't feed me anymore Naltrexone the last day!). I did the best I could to exercise/do physical therapy (I've had back surgeries), go to groups AND participate, talk and get to know people in the TV room, and walk inside, and enjoy the sun and walking in the courtyard! Even though I felt like crap, I kept a positive attitude the entire time and barely missed any groups (We all gotta nap in detox at SOME point!... if you can.)

I really delved into PHP/IOP when I got out, got back to NA meetings and now my mind doesn't have that Subs BS on me anymore, so I'm free! The hot/cold stuff has gone away in the last week, but now all it really is is the restless legs crap that, when it wakes me up at 2:30 AM, I can't get back to sleep. That, and my stamina is like 5/10, BUT improving.

Now, it's just grinding like I used to do when I was a lot more successful and getting that drive back. I know I'm going to feel like crap for awhile, but I'm very blessed to have great recovering addicts in my life and I haven't really thought of using at all because I'm all in with this recovery stuff. My psych is pushing the Naltrexone on me (the shot eventually), but if I'm solid in my program and not really thinking of using, what's the point? I'm writing this because I'm apprehensive about meeting with him tomorrow. Not that I'm afraid of him, I just want to make sure I make the best decision for me. He's a great guy, but all he ever did before was keep upping my dose of Suboxone and it never helped. I was debating Methadone, especially having chronic pain, but I knew that would be another ballgame altogether.

I just wanted to write this because I'm happy even though my legs are killing me right now and that it's POSSIBLE to stop subs if that's what you choose to do. It was a ridiculous 'jump' but it's what I had to do to start functioning in life again and not feel like a damned zombie everyday. I wish all of you the best!

Garrett


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 7:47 pm 
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So happy for you. I hope you stay straight and keep away from the alcohol too! BEHAVE! ;) Good luck, keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 4:16 pm 
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Hey thanx for the reply! Yeah, today is day 30 off the subs and 33 off the booze (and no, nothing else like pot or anything). Withdrawl/PAWS whatever ya wanna call it was REALLY kickin' my butt last Sunday till the last couple days, but other than the physical stuff, I'm doing well. Hope all's good for you as well!


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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