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 Post subject: 30 days clean!
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 4:22 pm 
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I have 30 days clean today!!!!!! I am really proud of myself and all the changes I have made in the past month. I have found a therapist and have seen her 3 times so far, once per week. I have located my nearest na/aa meetings and am trying to get to one. There is another one tonight that I was planning to get to but I realized we have a ball game tonight with my 5yo son, so again I can't make it. Maybe tomorrow? I just wanted to post this because I don't have many people I can share with....I know there are others out there that are going at about the same time frame as me so to all of you out there....Congratulations!!!!!


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 10:50 pm 
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Congratulations qhorsegal!! 30 days is GREAT!!

Think back 31 days ago, did ya ever think you'd be able to say you'd have 30 days clean? I know before I got on Suboxone, I figured I was gonna be a lifetime addict, condemned to an existence of chasing pills. I'm glad I found Suboxone and I'm glad it worked so well for me, I'm very glad it's working for you too!

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:51 am 
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Image

And many more to come...

From suboxforum.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 10:58 pm 
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HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY 30 whole days!!!!!!! actually 31 TODAY!!!!!

congrats to you!!!!!!!!!

You're REALLY DOING THIS!!!!!!!
thats what I told myself in the begining, cuz I had tried and failed so many times. when I'd say out loud "your really doing it this time"
it was really powerful.
sounds crazy I know, I know.
but Im looooooney tunes anyway!!! and I dont even care. LOL

CONGRATS,
cheers,
and heres to THIRTY MORE!!!!!!!!!

[marq=right]Keep Fightin' the good fight[/marq]

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anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 11:29 pm 
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Thanx guys...

I forgot I posted this and just looked back at it. You all made me smile!!!!!


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:49 am 
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I've almost lost count, and I actually have to stop and count up the years now...but July 7, 2008 was the last time I touched an oxycontin...(or the last time I smelled one with a rolled up $20-bill)

Before long you'll be doing the same...because as time goes on, you start replacing the memories that you made while you were in active addiction with memories of family, kids, vacations, etc...

I actually try to forget the period of time right around when I got cleaned up, because there was a lot of leftovers that I had to deal with that weren't really fun...at ALL. That was near the time period when my wife and I had split up, nearly divorced, and I went stupid and got with some other girl. Now all of that is a blur, but it was a very emotionally-trying period...and the "girl's" mom chased me for over a year trying to make me pay back $50,000 that she said I owed her + her daughter because of my pill habit (the girl funded my pills for about 7-8 months and handed me cash + credit cards all the time)...
I really went crazy when I got handed a Discover with a $6000 limit...I was buying pills almost daily. So AFTER I got clean, I had to deal with all of that crap, and I gave back the material things to the girl and her mom...but $50,000??? Seriously?
There was no debating on me paying PART of that, or us splitting it since I did have a hand in running up the cards..but the girl spent money too, and I was expected to pay ALL of it by myself...

Finally, I dragged it out until the girl's mom had to file bankruptcy (she jumped in when I put the girl out of my house, and borrowed like $55,000 to save her "daughter"...and I told her back then that she shouldn't be jumping in to play hero and try to save the day...but that just pissed her off.)...she threatened me with lawyers and jail, told me she would file ID theft on me (which I never did, the girl handed me the cards, and I was AUTHORIZED user on the ones I used!! DUH...

After that (the bankruptcy) she left me alone and I haven't heard from her since. The last email between us was around March 23, 2009...and she never sent another email threatening me or telling me I owed her $50,000...

I mean, I wish that I had a $400,000/year job that I could have handed over that kind of money and saved people from having their credit ruined...but mine was ruined too, and I didn't have the means to just go and do that...


Anyway, there's a bit of a soap opera for ya...those are the reasons that I don't carry a lot of the memories of my sobriety date with me, because ON my sobriety date, I was getting emails that said things like "I know your online, if you don't respond I'll just show up" ...Lucky for us the woman lived like 60 miles away and it was awful traffic to get here..so she only showed up at my door unannounced like, twice.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:55 am 
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So jonathan, you're coming up on 4 years? I don't really pay too much attention to my "clean" time either. I just know that I started suboxone around December 8-10th, 2008. That's usually how I phrase it, "I've been on suboxone for 3.5 years", instead of "I have X years clean." Part of that is because I hate the word "clean". It implies that we used to be "dirty" and that's just more negative stereotypes about addicts and we don't need more stigma attached to us. If we could purge that word "clean" from the dictionary of addiction phrases, I'd be happy.

qhorsegal - CONGRATS on 30 days!!! Keep it up. You deserve one of my Mr Green smilies :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:05 am 
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yep -- 4 years almost for me. I've never stepped foot into an NA/AA meeting..but I've steered QUITE a few people into straightening out their lives with the help of suboxone. I've personally watched a few people succeed with recovery using Suboxone, because I suggested that they get help and they saw how much different I was from what I used to be.

I offer a huge Congrats to anyone who makes it...even just ONE day is a victory over this disease. Then another day...and another. Before long, the days add up and you're looking at weeks...months....years...and it DAMN sure is well worth it in the end. I got my life back and now have a baby girl that I ADORE!
I never would've had that if I hadn't gotten my life together. My wife and i wouldn't have remained married, and we SURELY wouldn't have gotten pregnant with another baby..but I went into treatment and then 3 years later, we're expecting a little girl...

I told my wife that I was high for the other babies to be born (my other 3 kids), and I hate myself for that, but this one if my chance to do what I never got to do with them. God has given me the opportunity to right the wrong I did with my kids..and I thank Him daily for that. I get to stay home with this little girl and watch her grow (HAPPENS TOO FAST)...but with the others, I never cared about staying home with them, I was too busy chasing my high, in that street game...

Oh, how time changes things.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:31 am 
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Hey Jonathan, I have read alot of your posts in the past month...I've been inspired by your story. I'm so glad you are doing well and have gotten this chance at starting over with your new baby. I know what you mean about regretting things you've done with your kids. I have alot of those too, but you can't change them now...just do better from here. That's one of the things my therapist is trying to drive into my head...not to cart around all those feelings of guilt. Maybe I'll get it one day, I know in my head that it isn't productive. That doesn't do anything for me in my heart though, not yet anyway. I know I'll get there though!

@Hat...thanks for the green smiley!!!! I've never seen that one before, I feel special now!


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:19 pm 
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qhorsegal.........
a phrase my therapist told me, that really seemed to 'stick'

"you can look at your past once in awhile, just dont live there"

I have/had alot of GUILT, um more like a shitpile, and it doesnt seem like much, but this saying helped me alot. just thinking, that I shouldnt forget about the lessons Ive learned, but I cant CHANGE anything that happened THEN.


You can only forge ahead, and write a new ending for yourself.

Jonathan, you give me hope as a
'long term' sub user. My doctor says, dont fix it if it aint broke
I guess cuz I take it for pain too, and I still work construction every day, and I was def a 'habitual' user/quitter/relapser

So thats where Im at. Trying to stay upbeat about my recovery.


ghorsegal,,,,,,,,KEEP FIGHTING, you can do this

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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