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 Post subject: Day two for me
PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:51 pm 
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Ready to get my life back and start fresh , ive been on suboxone for about 3 years to get me off of dope , i started using when my family fell apart and my brother was beating me up almost every day and then we lost our house n we split up , luckily i have a boyfriend andi was able to stay w him and his family. Yes we did shit together, got started bc a friend was doing dope n didnt have a car and new wed take him if he paid us n eventually after him bugging us we did and ended up doing it with him, i dont blame him bc we madethe descision to do it, just wish he would have told us how addicting it was . I am just sick of haveing to take suboxone to feel normal i dnt wanna worrie about not being about to do anything bc idk if ill have suboxone or not , plus we moved farrr away so its time for a fresh start, its only day two but i dnt feel nearly as bad as i have other times when i tried to quit, never made it past the 3rd day,but i am happy i have tried to quit so many times before bc if i did i wouldnt be were im at now, sick of the bs , i want to do everything i should have been doing these years, seeing my family n friends n not secluding myself, i havent cried in 5 years n now i have feeling again, it actualy feels good to cry, i know yhise process will be long but what keeps me going is knowing the reward in the end anf that itll be over soon!
"im not breakable so unstoppable, nobodys gonna knock me out, no phaseing me i will never be like broken glass bc im not fragile like that , noone will see fragmwnts of me like broken glass bc im NOT FRAGILE LIKE THAT!"


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:36 pm 
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Hi hope - I hate to be the one to break it to you, but suboxone's half life is so long, that chances are it's not even out of your system yet. Your withdrawals probably haven't even peaked yet either. Usually they hit around day 3 or so. Suboxone's withdrawals are said to be not as bad as full agonists, but they are said to last longer.

To me, I just bring my sub with me, just like any other medication I take. It's not a big deal, really. Personally, I also don't consider suboxone a crutch. Just a tool in addiction remission.

Anyway, I predict depending on the dose you were taking, you may still have acute withdrawals coming to you. Sorry. :(

Good luck and let us know how you're doing. Do you have comfort meds lined up?

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 6:02 pm 
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Thats what i thought but usually i would be feeling horrible by day one n its still not that bad, itll come in waves n ill feel really bad for a wile but it will let up a lil , i was making one 8mg sub last a week between me n my bf so idk how much i was taking but not alot , n yea if i had the money to take sub any longer i deff would, i jus dnt have the money for it, n no i have no other meds that will help


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:11 am 
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Almost day 3 and im still feeling pretty ok , but who knows, that all can change ina min, but i will continue pushing thru this and will never look back!


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:51 am 
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The thing with suboxone withdrawals (from what I've read, I'm still on it), is that it tends to come and go. Almost everyone that's quit it says the same thing. They feel fine one day and much more miserable the next.

Try not to focus on waiting for it to hit. Just live your life normally. The more distracted and active/busy you are the less you'll even notice any discomfort you have. In other words, it's the people who really expect it to be bad who's experiences tend to be worse.

Good luck!

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:34 am 
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Quote:
i havent cried in 5 years n now i have feeling again, it actualy feels good to cry,


I know that feeling too well. In the past when I got off buprenorphine, or any opioids for that matter, I felt open to more emotion. Crying, sadness and introspection were the first to come. Slowly over the months after, I opened up to the lighter emotions. It's quite a rough journey. When I jumped off 6+ mg, acute withdrawal started around day 3, peaked day 6-9, then by day 12 I felt I could go to the mall. There's a reason why we get teary in detox. In my experience, buprenorphine detox is easier physically, but quite jarring emotionally. And like hatmaker said, it kinda "lets off" sometimes, then comes back.

I've just gotta clarify. Did you jump off a high dose? Or did you taper?


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:12 am 
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Thanks guys, yea it deff comes in waves , alil worse today then yesterday but still nowhere near as bad as other times ive tried to get off this, idk if its bc i was taking such small doses or what , the only thing that keep me going is knowing even one min down is one min closer to freedom and pretty soon itll be over but this lack of sleep is what gets me, i sleep for maybey half hr at a time n wake up for few hrs and have never been so happy to see the sun to let me kno that night is over with


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:15 am 
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Oh and tearjerker, i didnt taper, i was doing small amounts, making one 8mg sub last almost a week between me n my boyfriend , but i am not sure how much, maybey 1 mg a day


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 Post subject: Almost day four!
PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:25 pm 
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Feeling a lil better, alot better then last night, happy these days are goin by a lil faster then i thought, still have cold chills every once ina while, body hurts , hoping itll start gettting better soon, still this time is alot easier then other times ive tried to stop, this time it feels doable n i dnt feel like crying n going insane every min like before, maybey bc i know that this is my time and i have to and will get throug this and it shall pass eventually , just hoping im better by next week when i have thing todo , luckily i dnt have to do much of anything this week . Every second is another second closer to a new day , thats what i keep telling myself.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:36 pm 
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Hope You have a good outlook on your jumped. Good for you Keep it up
Mel :wink:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:40 pm 
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Tthank you ! Its haard doing it all on ur own when noone round u knows whats going on but i will get thru it


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 Post subject: Morning of day four
PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:05 pm 
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Actually slept few hrs but kept waking up, only pain i have is in my joints n muscles but nowhere near as bad as it has been in the past, i dnt wanna lay in bed but i cnt walk to much or my body will colapse bc everythin n not eating, actually have an appetiete now n eating apple sauce n drinking propel


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:30 pm 
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I know it's the last thing in the world you want to do or think you can do, but it's the one thing that will make you feel better: movement/activity/exercise. It releases your natural endorphins and that's exactly what you need right now. Even if you can just get up and get outside into the sunshine - walk a little bit - a house or two down the street. Any little bit will help. Also, HOT BATHS. Those are said to help a lot, too.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:56 pm 
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Thanks, i do get up n try to walk up n down the stairs a lil n just took a bath n feel a lil better , hopefully day tomorrow , day 5, it will take a turn for the better , just goto keep trucking, telling myself im lucky that its only this bad, n not as bad as it was inthe past


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:17 pm 
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Hope, your doing Great, it is day 4 and not too bad. I hope it only gets better for you. You have a real good attitude and that helps alot. Keep it up your doing awesome.
Mel :wink:

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:28 pm 
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Hi Hope,

You sound like you're doing very well with getting off of Suboxone, your wd is nowhere near as bad as your previous attempts and that's awesome.

Do you mind if I ask what plans you have to stay off of drugs this time?? Getting off of drugs and staying off of drugs are two separate things. I was just wondering if you've given it much thought?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:21 pm 
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Thanks guys! Yes ideff feel alot better today! Actually got up n ate and took a lng hot bath, hopefully it doesnt get an worse, the worse as if now was two nights ago, but yes i am just ready to not do drugs anymore, i moved faar away too so it helps not knowing anyone or were to get anything and i dnt want too, i wanna get my life back and get married to my bf of 7 years now n have kids n id be damned if i let myself be like my mother n do drugs n not take care of her family, and going thru this wd and knowing how it is will keep me from doin anything bc i dnt wanna be in this situation again.i know i am ready now bc before i stil wanted to get high but now i know i dnt want to do anything anymore, the only thing that kept me this lng from quitting subs was the wd n id end up going bak to it or dope if i couldnt get subs, but im glad im going thru this process bc itll keep me from ever wanting to touch another drugs again


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 Post subject: End of day four
PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 10:59 pm 
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I actually am surprised i feel this good, ate alot today didnt lay in bed all day , actually laughed and cracked some jjokes, my cold chills n sweats r gone, is this almos the end?!!


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:11 am 
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Hope, you're really doing great! It sounds to me like you're in the tail end of your acute withdrawal. Given you jumped off approx 1mg, it makes sense that you have a smoother ride than I did.

A coupla things I noticed when I moved far away to get clean... Is that you can't rely on "geographicals". Like Romeo said, surviving acute withdrawal is only a part of a greater journey. Challenges will lie ahead. You may have periods of craving, and if you allow yourself to feed into it, being away from your stomping ground won't be much of a barrier.

Something that's really helped me is ... that the moment I have a desire to move backwards in my life, or get destructive... I immediately focus / think about / work on something positive in my life. Maybe I think about my desire to get a good career, and open up my text-books, learn or build something. Or I listen to an inspiring self-help tape. Get into some Tony Robbins sh*t. Do a recovery group. :lol: Just something that redirects my thoughts to recovery / life-building stuff. Using any drug = backwards. Life = forwards.

If you can get to a point where it's like a knee-jerk reaction... the moment you have any kind of negative addictive desire, you immediately without 2nd thought direct yourself to the positive. I think you'll be in good stead. For me, it came from doing a difficult treatment to repair the damage to my body from my heroin. It made me realise that I truly wanted to live, and that using always leads to being sick, and to losing out.

Good luck!


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:31 am 
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I totally agree! I know if i really wanted to i could go back home n get some sub or heroin but i havent and am not, i will just take it day by day n wen a day comes where i feel week i will reread this and thin bac on how much time i lost just to get high, for me the only prob i had w stopping sub or dope wad the withdrawal n soon as i got sub i didnt do dope. I didnt sleep much last night and have occansional cold chills but actually have energy but still have very mild pain in my muscles, mostly my left thigh above my knee and a lil on my shoulders, this is day 5!!! Wahooooo , just hope it gets better after this


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