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PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 10:30 pm 
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It seems no matter how much mentally prepaired and motivated I was about getting off the subs, I gave in last night and had to take some sub. I was doing so good, the withdraws wasnt that bad, I was dragging around but it was totally tolerable. About 4:30pm I started to feel a little more shaking/ache coming on, then a little more, and a hour later I was full on bad bad withdraws. I made a hot bath, took some more Phenobarb and Clonidine and the withdraws keep getting worse.

I was at a point I didnt want my kids to see me like this so I took 1/2 of 2mg of sub and 30 minutes later I took the other half. Less than an hour later I was much better and have continued with another 2mg today. I still feel a little withdraws but its alot better. It was compltely wierd how it hit me, like a tsunami from nowhere... I remember panicing, why did it hit me so hard after 10 days and all of sudden. The withdraws felt something like being electrocuted and drowning at the same time, just a complete mental and physical nightmare. I cant get over the fact that a medicine like subs can do so good for so many people in pain, but completly flip around and put you through so much hell when you dont want to take it- Just blows me away....

At this point Im just mad, not at myself for giving in it was just wasnt a good enough plan to get off the subs. But Im just mad about dr's giving me this shit for pain management for 7 years and not telling me it was going to be this hard to get off them when I started them. For me, Im 100% dependent on this stuff, it has never been an abuse or addiction of drugs/alcohol situation for me. I dont do drugs, dont drink or smoke, have a successful business, a nice home, investments, the amercian dream yet Im completly at the mercy of this little strip of film called Suboxone. A work related back injury and knife happy money hungry dr's along with the cash cow business of pain management has led me to this point of complete hell. I know somewhere down the line something is gotta be my fault but whatever mistakes I made I just flat out dont deserve this shit....

So if you read this you know Im not the happy camper today, tomorrow is a different day. So the plan now is wait till tuesday and call the dr and see if he can come up with a better plan. In the end I think Im just going to have to shell out the big money and do a rapid detox. So if anyone has any good references for a good (best priced) place for a rapid detox please foward it to me...

Thanks for letting letting out some steam here.....


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 4:17 am 
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Hey tony,

Sorry ur feeling crappy man. Don't beat yourself up, you can learn from each attempt to stop and you'll be stronger for it. I took a quick peak at your previous posts and it really seems to me you tapered pretty fast. Some of the people here who have gone off sub after years on it and didn't suffer too much tapered really slow. And as you taper, your brian will slowly adjust to less and less "outside help" and learn to make its on endorphins again. It looks like you have 2mg strips. That is the best case scenario in my opinion. You can easily cut them in half and in half again etc. I would suggest taking as much time as you need to go slow. Like say you start at 2mg. After 1or 2 weeks go to 1.75mg for 1 or 2 weeks then 1.5mg etc. if its uncomfortable at any point, give yourself more time and try again. Also you may need to cut these small doses in half and take half in the am and other half in pm. Smaller doses wear off faster.

Remember, for whatever reason you have been on this very strong med for 7 YEARS. It will take some time to get off. You can try this way and save yourself 10 grand. Even if you did rapid detox which we have only seen about 1 succesul case on here over the years, you may take several months of depression, not feeling right etc. you brin still will need to heal after rapid detox. The user is 'night'. He is still recovering from it. He posted the place on here nd vouched for it btw. If you can't find it let me know.

Whatever you decide, we are here to help and support you.

Good luck,

Glen b

Ps- I have tapered fom 8mg to 0.2mg. I took about 9 months to do that. I suffered not at all. It just got a little harder to fall asleep lately but I get there. and I only have 8mg films which I still manage to cut into .25mg and even .075mg so the 2mg films would be a breeze


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 6:35 am 
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tonypaul wrote:
I was at a point I didnt want my kids to see me like this so I took 1/2 of 2mg of sub and 30 minutes later I took the other half. Less than an hour later I was much better and have continued with another 2mg today. I still feel a little withdraws but its alot better. It was compltely wierd how it hit me, like a tsunami from nowhere... I remember panicing, why did it hit me so hard after 10 days and all of sudden. The withdraws felt something like being electrocuted and drowning at the same time, just a complete mental and physical nightmare. I cant get over the fact that a medicine like subs can do so good for so many people in pain, but completly flip around and put you through so much hell when you dont want to take it- Just blows me away.....


[font=Comic Sans MS]Hi TonyPaul, I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. When I read this part of your post, I was
sitting here shaking my head that you are feeling SO AWFUL. You must have been absolutely miserable! Look,
I wouldn't be too hard on yourself for having to take a little bit to get you to where you can function. I can totally
relate to not wanting your children to see you this way.

You sound like you are quite the man. Very successful, a nice family, and a happy marriage. I hate it that this medication
is doing this to you. I do believe that some people are able to jump off and never look back. Then there are people
who are able to taper, and do it successfully as well. But then there are those who just cannot seem to
shake this. So I totally understand you're wanting to do a rapid detox.

To be honest with you, from what I've read on rapid detoxes, I am right in the middle. Some people say that it
worked wonders. Some people say they were fine leaving, but 3 days later they were in full blown withdrawals
again. So who really knows. It sounds like an individual experience too.

I think that if I were in your shoes, I too would be ready to take this approach. I do not know of any reputable
rapid detox centers. Or non reputable for that fact. All I can say , is do your homework, check out licenses, check
with the board in your state for complaints etc... Get references if you can.

I support you in which ever route you go. Please keep us updated as to what you decide to do. Let us know how it
works out as well. I'd love to hear about your experience with this, if you do in fact decide to go with Rapid
Detox.

Good Luck to you, and Take Care~[/font]

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


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 Post subject: Paying the piper
PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 11:30 am 
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Sorry for your seemingly failure. Have to ask how you did during your taper? I too being a pain patient have run into my nerve endings coming back to life. I have been tapering for months. Having w/d through each and every stage. Miss sleep. Getting to where, I too I, hope can jump. Everyone has a different reaction. But, why are you coming off subs? Did your pain end and don't need opiates any longer?

I question why if you tapered and were doing okay, you took so much when you panicked? You obviously hadn't read anything in the forum or you would have known that it takes up to 90 minutes for sub to work. I also question why you think you don't have to pay the piper for being on a mean opiate for 7 years? How much prior? Sounds like you had no w/d like I am having and strange that it happened at 9/10 days of being clean right. Only clonidine and phenobarb, I think sub react funny to phenobarb anyway. What taper did you do?

So, again you can only succeed if you want this for yourself. Just your reaction to w/d symptoms makes me question why?

Opiates are the meanest. You will pay for your discretions no matter what. There is truly no quick detox. I was placed on sub without being told the full story, with this process. It was ROUGH. And, now I am having to go through it all over again. I can't work while tapering, can barely leave the house. Like being happy, sad, angry, times a hundred and a moments notice.

If you are truly addicted, which our bodies say we are or no w/d, is it due to having a disease of drug addiction. Terrible thought that you can now not ever be without sub. They don't tell you about it, they would lose money. But, for drug addicts it is the only game out there to keep us safe from ourselves. Read about the horrors and the terrible happenings when you fail to stay clean on the other side. I hear lots of suicide attempts. This is no game, it is life and you will pay. Make sure it is the right payment though.

Back to Why are you quitting?
Sorry detoxing and the blues have set in. I hope you find what you are looking for. Make sure the choice is the best decision for you and your family. Not a single doctor who has never gone through this. Good Luck in all you life's endeavors.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 11:47 am 
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Hey tonypaul................

I love that you said tomorow's another day!!!!!
that's what I always tell myself, when a shitty day comes along!!!! Like TJ says, pillow to pillow is the way to go :wink:

Every day is a new chance at a fresh start

Im with glen bee, that you were on this for 7 years man, its not gonna be a walk in the park. . . . .

I read where (I think) TJ wrote rapid detox doesn't work that well for suboxone users. I forget the reason. AND I could be way off here, I'll look around and see if I can find it...............................

"google" is great when you have some time to burn. the other day I was working in the office and just on google, I saw the thread about rapid detox, so I googled it.
There are some pretty scary things in the waiver they have you sign.
one of them says something like
"can result in INSTANT DEATH"
So, yea, I would make sure and research whatever you can, if you are going to go this route.
Like kelly said, check with the medical board, references,
lots of places will provide references to you, if you ask. Well doctor's offices and stuff. it would be worth asking.

Anyways, NOT trying to scare the crap outta ya, just trying to help. :wink:

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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