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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2013 7:10 pm 
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YAY for musiclover!!! I'm glad you're feeling better and that you slept!! Woo-Hoo!!

I don't mean to rain on your parade, but you may find sleep to be a little hit or miss. When I started sleeping normally, I would get a day or two of normal sleep, then a day or two of craptacular sleep. Don't let it frustrate you if this happens to you.

You said you've had cravings for other things. I'm curious, what kind of cravings have you had?

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:41 pm 
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First off, I want to thank you all for sticking it out with me. Nobody else besides my husband knows what I'm going through, so its difficult to ask for help or anything. My husband doesn't like to talk about it much either.

Day 12 feelin' great! My sleep wasn't awesome but it definitely wasn't bad. I do remember having to take melatonin before I ever even thought of opiates, so I think that's kind of normal for me. My legs were bothering me before I took a bath last night, but that could all be in my head. After a bath and some magnesium and melatonin, I fell asleep fine!

Bathroom is still an issue, but magnesium can also cause that. And a little lack of energy but I'm definitely ready to go this morning!!!!

As for cravings, I meany opiates. The cravings were bad days 10-11 but I read back here and reminded myself I never want to go through this hell again. EVER. My son deserves me for who I am.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 1:57 pm 
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I'm also new to the board. I have been taking suboxone for about 8 months now and in the last month had gotten down to about. 5-1mg a day. Thursday I took my last dose and have decided to ride out the storm and just regain my life again. Today is day 4 and I don't feel awful but I'm definitely better than yesterday. I'm just super exhausted and having mild back pain. I was just wondering if anyone knew how much longer ill have before normalcy returns or how to maybe gain some energy. By the way reading post on here since Thursday has kept me motivated.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:40 pm 
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Hey raddude and welcome! You were on about what I was. Though considering you were on them for such a short amount of time, you may not go through too much hell. Being on Day 4 and feeling okay is great! I felt like dying the first 4 days. The only real way to get energy, is to leave the house. B12 vitamins are also great for energy. I feel 97% today on Day 12. The thing for me is sleep. Everyone's different so I'm sorry but I can't give you a true answer. But put confidence in the fact that the physical withdrawals will probably be over in a week or two. Keep it up and keep us posted!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 11:00 pm 
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Dang, that sucks that your husband doesn't talk to you more about what's going on. I hope he has a change of heart and provides you with more help soon.

Be careful with those cravings. If you entertain those thoughts for long enough, you're very likely to slip. If you can, try to teach yourself to slam the door shut on those cravings.

Hi Rad Dude, welcome to the forum!!! Musiclover already gave you some good advice. Seeing as you jumped from a low dose, I'm guessing you'll basically be following Musiclovers trajectory.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 12:17 am 
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I get you ML, my husband doesn't like to talk about any of it either. I have to get my emotional support elsewhere. Don't get me wrong, I very much love my hubby, but I knew when I married him that emotional stuff was not his forte. Fortunately, I've cultivated other sources for that and I get my addiction support here.

I've been following your thread too and I'm very happy for your successes so far! I hope that your sleep patterns improve and stay improved. Keep updating us!

Amy

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 10:52 am 
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Thanks so much for all you have talked about it gives me more hope. Yesterday evening I got so restless and felt ado anxious but I took a walk as suggested and also took a bath for the first time in years haha. After that I took some advil pm and actually sleep for a good 8 hours. I got some b12 also and some other vitamins. They seem to help out. Today is day 5 and I'm hoping things only get better. Ill be so glad when I've hit the 1 month mark lol. Seems like forever from now though. To everyone else doing this also, stay strong and resist temptation. That part hasn't been hard for me as of yet. I have no desire to do any of this again.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 2:38 pm 
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Day 13 is good. Tired, but then again, not near as much as before! I actually get up feeling refreshed. While on suboxone I wanted to die waking up even from 10 hours of sleep!!! I was able to actually stay up until 1030 with my husband for the first time in 2 weeks! It was great. All in all I'm good. No bathroom breaks yet. That's not true, once. Which is a high step up from 5 lol. My appetite is coming back. My sleep is progressing. Sneezing progressing. Energy progressing rapidly. I'm almost out of the clear, I hope!

Romeo thanks for your concern about the cravings. I honestly have no idea where it came from. The thought usually makes me want to vomit. Luckily my husband is strong, we've changed our numbers and wouldn't even know how to go about it. Hahaha never thought I'd say that!!! I will NEVER go back. And from past experiences, the WDs started from the first time I relapsed. I haven't touched one in 27 months and don't plan on it!

Amy, my husband can be emotional, but since he's going through it as well, he's just different lol. For me it helps to talk about it and research it. For him he wants no part in it. He wants to not think nor talk about it ever again!!!! I suppose I need to respect him if that's his way of recovery lol. Thank God we have each other, right!?


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:18 pm 
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HI musiclover, I'm sorry if you already said this and I missed it, but I was wondering, what mg of subutex did you jump from? Thanks, and thanks for sharing your story, you are doing so great and you are so strong for wanting to vomit thinking about relapsing!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:18 pm 
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Exactly! ;)

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:27 pm 
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Invisiblemoment no worries! It can get confusing reading everyone's stories. I figured I was taking about .25mg twice a day. Every 12 hours. Since subutex crumbles so easily, it's really hard for me to pin point. But I figured that my husband and I shared and together we got about 16-17 pieces out of an 8mg pill. He only took one every 24 and I took 2 every 24. ANYWAY, about .50 a day. Lol. I'm so happy that I can be someone helping with my story! Reading stories on here helped me so much through the taper process and them again from my WDs!

Day 14! 2 week mark! I've felt 99% the last 2 days!!! I honestly think the RLS & restless arms before my bath at night are in my head. It happens every night, while I lay on the couch watching TV with my hubby. And I'm always thinking about it and wondering if an when its going to hit. But once I take a bath, it stops and doesn't come back all night until the next night I lie down watching TV. I still toss and turn, but I think that's just something that's normal when you've been on one drug or another for 4 years. And like I said before, I've always tossed and turned at night. But besides that, I feel GREAT! I don't believe I have any WD symptoms! I guess I am still sneezing, but eh whatever lol. No chills, no RLS(maybe a half hour a night), no exhaustion, anxiety is VERY little and I've always had it. DAY 14 PEOPLE!!!!

I'm not saying that it won't be a roller coaster. I've heard symptoms can fade and arise out of nowhere. But I also think that's just life! "Normal" people get stomach aches, chills, sickness, RLS, anxiety, and feel like crap some days! It's life and I'm HAPPY to feel it honestly!

To those of you reading and contemplating and scared, I feel you. I was scared shitless to quit, especially with an active child! I had an excuse every month for why I was getting more. And my husband works very hard manual labor and said several times he just couldn't WD with work. He's on Day 19!!!! It CAN be done! I am a far better mother this week than I was able to be on subutex/suboxone. I was lazy, tired, and had no DRIVE for life. I napped every single day and I HATE naps! 2-3 weeks is so short to live your life again. Anyway, good luck to all! Ill continue to update my progress til' I can sleep a full night.

FYI: I'm still averaging 7 hours of sleep having been in bed 9. Not too bad.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 6:17 pm 
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I'm so happy for you Musiclover! Two weeks and your kicking WD butt!

Thank you for posting your progress, I look forward to seeing every little improvement.

Q


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 8:07 pm 
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Holy cow, I can't believe you are sleeping 7 hours a night and have little RLS! You really give me hope. Lately, it seems like I see more terrible stories of sub withdrawal lasting months than positive stories, so it's great that you are sharing your experience. I also use subutex, and I have trouble cutting them without them falling to dust. How did you cut yours?


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 8:17 pm 
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2 weeks....WOO-HOO!!!!!

I like your comment about "normal" people, too. It seems a lot of us addicts have this misconception that we should never feel the slightest bit of discomfort. If we do feel anything that we don't like, we instantly want to medicate it instead of just riding it out.

BTW, 2 weeks into wd and you're getting 7 hours of sleep.....you lucky little shit!!! :lol:

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 11:52 am 
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Invisiblemoment I just tore pieces off as gently as possible, lol. If it crumbled, I let that fall. So I was actually taking less than normal, instead of more. I have been so surprised with people saying their WD's lasted months! The last time I decided to get off of subs, my physical WDs only lasted 5 days. So this has been way too long for me! Lol. Though I do remember getting chills and still sneezing 2.5-3 weeks after. I only got to a month and a half before getting on percs again last time, though. So as far as mental WD's, I'm not sure what to expect!

LOL Romeo you made me laugh. I'm finally a lucky one?!? Yay!!!!

Day 15 still doing great! I slept better last night than any night so far!!!! My hubby even woke me around 11 to be "intimate" ;) we both haven't felt like it for what seems like a LIFETIME! So besides that brief awakening I don't remember waking at all from 10pm-7am! He woke me at 11 so straight sleep for at least 7.5 hours!!!! Sneezing is still happening a little but whatever. LIFE FEELS GOOD!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 1:05 am 
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Well I tried posting a few days ago, but the forum was down. 23 days today! I've had no RLS since Day 13 or 14 I believe, whenever I last said I didn't. I've had energy, no sneezing besides a horrible cold I had last weekend, I still am having issues in the bathroom, no chills, I'm doing great!!! Sleep is still a little weird. I wake up several times. But I will take that ANY DAY over tossing and turning with RLS and no sleep for 6 days like I had!!! All in all, I feel 100%!!! No anxiety! No depression! As a matter of fact, I rely on my husband a lot less as well. I've never been so God damn annoyingly clingy as I was on Subutex! I'm not sure why or where it came from, probably laziness an lethargy and depression. But I didn't even like it when he showered right when he got home! Or went out to now the lawn! Now I see how completely ridiculous it was. Luckily he loves me and is patient, lol!

Anyway, we went on a great vacation this week to the ocean and it was the perfect time and place for the days 19-22!

All that I can stress is DO NOT GIVE UP! It does end! EVERYONE is different. It helps tremendously to read here and post, but remember that your experience could be completely different. And I don't just mean worse, it could be better! Just remember when you hate your life because you're only on Day 2-4 and you feel like shit and you can't sleep and are barely able to stay still, but that's all you FEEL like doing, get up! Sunshine is the best medicine. Music. HOT baths 2-3-7 times a day! Laughter. Friends, family, spouses, whatever. If you're alone, post here. All I know is that it seems like it takes so long, but in reality it's such a short amount of time and I PROMISE you that you will feel better!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 5:36 pm 
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Hey!! I'm glad you're feeling so good, that's great!!

That's good that you went on a vacation, too. Did you notice that the vacation helped you? We went on a little vacation during my wd and it helped a ton!! A change of latitude produced and nice change in attitude.

Glad to hear you're doing well. Rock On!!!

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2013 6:47 pm 
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DAY 40!
I can honestly say I feel like a normal human being!!!!! I'm having "normal" people problems. Like, I actually CRY at shit a woman would cry at! I laugh hysterically. I sweat like I used to and LOL I never thought I'd be excited about that.

People are actually complimenting me again. I hadn't heard my eyes were beautiful in nearly four years! I'm awake when I wake up instead of wanting to sleep 10 more hours. I have energy to go tanning, take my son to the park or museum or WHEREVER, go shopping, cook dinner, CLEAN LIKE AN OCD PERSON AGAIN. I mean wow. I'm living!!!!!

I never knew the effect suboxone truly had over me. I felt normal because I wasn't high. But I was far from normal. FAR. I'm sure some people use suboxone and don't have side effects, or have good side effects. But subs made me extremely exhausted, lazy, bitchy, depressed, constipated, and generally not me and unhealthy. I swear they fucked up my teeth and canceled out my epidural too. But hey whatever! I'm CLEAN & feeling damn good!!!!!! 28 months free of opiates, 40 days free of subs, and 20 days high on life!

THANK YOU to the people of this forum. You truly helped me save my life.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:14 pm 
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Thanks for the update musiclover and congratulations on 40 days!!!

We're so glad to hear that you're sweating like you used to! :lol:

Have you had to contend with any cravings? Do you have a plan in place if you do get any cravings?

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 7:36 pm 
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I find myself randomly thinking of the time I wasted being high or on subs not living life. I missed ages 21-25. I may get a stray thought of wishing for fun and excitement and it'd be fun to do an oxy. I'm not going to lie. This is a CONSTANT battle! I've heard NA works, but it's not for me. I've heard it's a 50/50 chance in finding great support there, and just more addicts. Unfortunately I've heard this area actually has dealers going there as a spot to hit up the junkies in their weakest state.

I have to remind myself how it's not worth it. I had 2 years of fun, for almost 2 more years of feeling like shit. Spending the first year of my sons life numb from suboxone because I wanted "fun". I won't go back. I had no money, no friends, no life! On drugs that is. Who you think are your friends really aren't. Especially because I was a dealer myself, they just wanted me for the drugs. I'm good on that.

I'm trying to find a relationship with God. My husband and his family are strongly religious and I go with him twice a week. I'm also studying with someone. It's helpin me for now and my son and my husband are what truly help me every day! I wish I could lie and say its never been a thought in my mind, but I can't lie. You all aren't idiots and I'd like the people out there reading to know its going I be a tough. And you should definitely have a plan of attack for those little monsters.


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