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PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 10:53 pm 
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Emmy wrote:
Hahaha yep I gave him his little pain med mixed in with his dinner, but told him I better not see any money missing from my purse! Lol
Hahahahaha, I nearly spit my beverage out I was laughing so hard when I read that!!! I was picturing your pup taking money from your purse and nearly lost it! :D

You should keep checking the bottle and if a few pills come up missing you may have to send him to doggie NA or have him see an addiction counselor!!! :D He might begin to REALLY like them puppy oxy's! Hahahaha.

And tell your hubby if he doesn't start laughing more you are gonna switch his pills with the pups! Then he might start scratching himself with his hind leg and have to go outside to use the bathroom!!! :lol: Poor little thing. Sure hope he feels better real soon Emmy.

If you feel that taking the muscle relaxer will help then go ahead and try it. Just please be careful is all. Don't need to have to worry about those right now ya know? Use your own judgement and I'm sure you will be fine. It could be mental of course, but if you take one and it really helps then you will know.

Guess you could also try another dose of sub to see if that makes a difference. I would suggest you not take more than maybe 4 mg this evening. Sub can keep some people awake, while others it has been known to make them a bit tired and sleepy if taken late in the evening. Totally up to you what you want to do.

Pushing through and not taking anything may give you a mental boost, but you don't have to suffer either. You sure nailed it with needing to change the habits. Addicts have so many habits and rituals, and we always want things to happen right NOW of course. It's so difficult to break those daily routines. We usually want to reach for that crutch of our drug to help us deal with the situation. It takes TIME to get free of it, if we ever can. Took me a few years to get to the point I knew I no longer required any kind of addictive substance to deal with the pressures of life. You'll know when you get there.

I might also suggest you try very hard not to over-work your brain and continually think about it every second of the day. Don't think so much, stay real busy as I know you're trying to do. You can heal your inner self, it just doesn't happen overnight.

-BP


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 1:02 am 
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Haha yea hubs thought I was nuts making any comparison to the dogs meds! lol it just caught me off guard when the vet said he would be taking pain meds!! lol I felt so bad for him, I almost wanted to up his dose! He should have been feeling good still though from the anastesia (spelling?). I've had so many conflicting doctors along my oxy journey, I never know the right thing anymore! Some that said my shoulder/neck issues were bad and no way I should ever suffer in pain, and then others saying my issues were nothing and didn't require the amount of meds I was on. Crazy how two docs can look at the same MRIs or xrays and have two totally different opinions! It makes you wonder if they are being honest or trying to talk you out of the pain! Worse too when the same doc that says my neck is turned out instead of curving in (which you can actually clearly see just by looking at me) and says I have arthritis in my neck, is the same doc who told me I have a problem with the pain meds and needed help getting off them?! Anyway, I was just thinking of that with my poor pup that I've been so confused by docs, I don't even know what's right to give my dog!! So I ended up taking the klonipine that my sub doc prescribed and actually feel a hundred times better! So if that's the worst I'm taking right now, I'm ok with that! Especially when I get to the point I'm in so much pain, I feel like I'm slipping backwards in my mind. Saying things like why were the oxys so bad? They really helped with the pain. Ya know? So that's a dangerous place to even go to, even if briefly! So I'm thinking I need to keep slowing down, not trying to rush anything that I can't keep up long term, because that's the goal right? To get to a place I can be comfortable long term. I could go a week fighting cravings or pain but never do it long term if it wasn't manageable, does that sound like it makes sense? So I won't plan to take the klonipine or get in a routine of it but if I need it then I'll be ok taking it as needed. Plus then I can stabilize the sub dose better. I did fine with only doing 8mg for the day then so that's good I think. Oh and yea the habits have been really hard, I'm so used to taking what I want when I start feeling pain, I'm now walking around lost, like I've already taken everything I'm allowed so now what? I try tons of ice packs or food!!! Which of course could be another addiction one day! Ugh it's like my mind and body desperately needs to fill the void with something else! Something I think maybe therapy could help with, hopefully! And hopefully something I can afford eventually. This is a whole separate issue but it amazes me that the people who need the government health insurance assistance, don't qualify because we make too much money, but the people with no jobs get it no problem? Seems crazy to me! Well anyway, I'm really glad I could hold off on any more suboxone tonight. Should I try upping it tomorrow by a few mgs or trying to stick with 8 still and then the klonipine if needed? Or should I try splitting the 8 or 10mgs into two doses? Let me know what you suggest! Thanks and have a good night! :)

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 1:25 pm 
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Emmy wrote:
I think a little of everything. It started earlier today with emotions, I was flooded with regrets. Especially once I realized I had been blowing so much money lately on pills instead of buying things for my daughter. Not that she went without anything, but there's so much more I could have been buying for her. Then I was lugging heavy laundry baskets around today so I was in a ton of pain. I tried laying down putting ice on everything that hurt, and that's where I lost it pretty quickly. Started by crying I was in so much pain, then thinking how the hell am I supposed to live like this, then my heart was beating really fast and then my whole body was shaking, I felt like I couldn't breath (almost a panic attack). And I was home alone so no one to talk me down.



It sounds like you were not in need of any more suboxone, but took more to numb the feelings you were having. That is normal for an addict, but you'll eventually learn with suboxone, less is more. Taking more suboxone than you physically need can make you sick. You mention pain, do you supplement with advil or anything?


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:43 pm 
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Yes you are so right tinydancer!! I took only 4mg so far today and feel a lot better then the last few days! So I may take another 4mg today but I'm pretty sure now I'm not needing more then 8 for the day!! Thanks for getting back to me! :)

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 5:14 pm 
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I really agree with Tinydancer.

I think you found a smaller dose really works quite well, Emmy! Sometimes when we believe more sub is a better thing, actually less may be the way to go as Tinydancer mentioned. I bet you wouldn't even need to take an additional 4 mg dose today, but it's up to you of course. See if you can overcome the mind games and hold off taking any more today and see how you feel in the morning. You will have PLENTY of sub in your system at this point anyway.

Hows your puppy doing today? Is the little fella feeling any better?

-BP


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 6:02 pm 
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Well I just took the other 4mg. I wasn't necessarily feeling like I needed it, but we are headed out for the evening, taking the train downtown. Something my daughter and I love to do! So I just didn't feel comfortable taking the dose along and possibly taking it while we were out. Something I totally could have done though! I'll try again tomorrow with 4 though. The pup is doing good!! He's been great with having the meds mixed in his food, I was thinking he'd find a way to outsmart me with them but I've been watching close and it's all gone when he's done eating!! He's not whining too much either so the pain must be better! He won't let me touch the area though so I can't see how the tooth spot looks yet, hopefully tomorrow he'll let me look, just to check for infection, ya know? No money missing from my purse either so he may not be an addict like his mother! ;) thanks for checking in with me! Hope you are doing good today as well!! :)

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 8:02 pm 
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I am sorry to report that Ball Player has deceived the forum and is really another member called Brown Eyed Girl.

Please look here for more information: brown-eyed-girl-karen-ball-player-t10222.html

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 8:49 pm 
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ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!I know you arent Amy..
ive bn dooped..and worse, poor newcomer Emmy..

Emmy, im sorry, if you need more help and you do I will help as others here will too.

Please members, give this young newcomer your help..

damn it BROWN EYED..YA KNOW, I really dont know what to say to you.i will say, you do write in the middle of the road. Sheeh man..


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 8:57 pm 
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That is an excellent suggestion!

Emmy, please know that most of the people on this forum are good, caring people. We want you to feel comfortable here and know that there are authentic people helping you. If you have any questions, or need clarification about anything, please feel free to reach out to me or any mod, or the rest of the good folks who have answered your questions.

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:35 pm 
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Sorry forum...I shouldnt have dropped that F...juwt was upsettng.....raz.....


I take all of this very seriously..The recovery world is amazing and throw in suboxone an everything that gos with opiate addiction, I just have a hard time when trust is broken. ? Idk...later....raz


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:51 pm 
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Don't sweat it, Raz. My first reaction was about the same as yours. Had BEG did what she did on a basket weaving forum, I wouldn't have cared, but this ain't no basket weaving forum.

Emmy, I hope you're doing OK (and your pup, too!). I always put my dogs medicine inside a folded up piece of cheese. I would give him a piece of cheese with no meds, then he'd automatically gobble down the one with the med inside. :D

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:14 pm 
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I'm so lost right now. Can you delete the private messages I sent with ball player somehow? Not that he doesn't already have my info but just in case he didn't write it down somewhere ugh I'm just so confused

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:23 pm 
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I would have to ask the technical guys to do that, but it may not be necessary. Ball Player has been banned! That means that he/she doesn't have access to the PMs anymore! Ball Player can't read those PMs ever again! If he/she didn't write your information down and doesn't remember specifics then you should be OK. I'm in the same position, Emmy. I was PMing with the "guy" too, although I didn't give out any specific information.

I don't think the person on the other end of your PMs will cause trouble for you, but let us know if there is anything else we could do.

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 10:44 pm 
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Ok thanks, that's a little bit of a relief I guess. I didn't give much info. Which to be honest I'd be the idiot if I did give a lot. I'm not sure how I trusted someone so much that I knew less then a week?? And took medical advice from them?? I'm hoping some of it was right though since razor and others agreed to it I think, right? I feel like I'm back to the start though, I did everything he or she told me to, ugh I just don't get it

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 11:17 pm 
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I am also at a loss, Emmy. I don't know if we are dealing with someone who is mentally ill, or someone who is a compulsive liar!

The one thing we do know about this person is that they like to be helpful, as crazy as it may sound. One of the reasons we didn't ban her when we started to find little lies is because she gives decent information to people and she seemed like she did her best to help people. The only bad side of that was that she also got very defensive if someone disagreed with her advice.

Don't beat yourself up for allowing this person into your life. She is a master at manipulation! I was in the same boat and I don't consider myself a sucker, just because I was open enough to allow someone in. It shows strength to be open and vulnerable. It's this person who is the coward!!!

Amy

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:00 am 
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Emmy, I didn't see any problems with the advice being given to you in this thread. If I had, I would've spoken up. The only red flag was the quickness in which s/he attached herself to you, which is his/ her MO and what makes us all a bit uncomfortable. It's a good reminder to us all, that we really don't "know" people online and it's good to have a bit of a guard up. Most people are pretty honest, IMO. It's fairly easy to spot when someone is too nice (or desperate) to make a connection, and in those cases, it's good to keep an eye out.

I wouldn't worry about it. It is what it is. Carry on with your recovery.. There are lots of other members here happy to help you through.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:35 am 
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Ok thanks for checking! I've been able to laugh a bit now at the situation. For one "he" said he'd hop on a plane to come attend a meeting with me so that was pretty silly! Geez! I felt like some things he said were contradicting himself so I was a little unsure anyway. Plus he started using some of MY mannerisms which was kind of freaky before this came out. I had some uneasy feelings the last few days from him but just kept pushing them out of my head, especially since he was trying so hard to help me! It just seemed so nice!! Anyway, I'm still glad to be here and will just be more careful now! And definetly not give any really private info!! Sorry to all you who were also duped, it's not a good feeling! Thanks for the support, I appreciate it so much!

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