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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 12:31 am 
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Hi Guys, good to find this forum and to know am not alone in this :)

Ive been on Suboxone for 2 years after stupidly 'trying' heroin at the ripe age of 37. It was only because I had meet a girl at a nightclub, fell pretty heavily, moved in very quickly, but to my amazement after a few months found she had a H habit. ( controlled 1 - 2 times a week) ( I couldnt work out why she was so at peace a loving for 2 days a week but a bitch for 2) I was blown away as Id never had anything to do with 'heavy' drugs and we even broke up over it, but for some reason I couldn't totally let go even though Id moved out and we still sure each other causally. In retrospect I think the whole thing was a bit of a adventure and I was sort of caught up in the drama.

Well Im sure you guys prob all know how this goes but one day, after months trying to help her get off it, I just had a mind meld and said I wanted to try it "just once" to know what it is that is so attractive about this bloody drug that was controlling her life.

Well she administered the dose, I O'dd instantly and remember coming to 10 mins later as white as a ghost, in a daze ( it wasnt fun at all, and it felt like the proof I needed to myself that it was a crap drug, but :roll: I tried again just to be sure a few weeks later, and then again, and then I got it, I finally understood what the appeal of H was. We were both working full time but slowely and surely the 1 -2 times a week which was to be honest amazing as we just fell into this "drug love" became every day and I couldn't think of anything else but using.

Well 3 years later and after moving away ( to the other side of the country), trying everything to stop using and finally settling on 8mg of subs a day to stop the cravings, I have been trying made the decision need to get this out of my system once and for all.

So have been locked up at home by myself for 11 days now, had my last tab of 4mg sub 11 days ago, Valium and blood pressure pills are alll I have to help go through this. I thought 6 - 7 days and would be through the worst of it, but guys, this is hell, I think its because the half life of subs took nearly a week to were off, the anxiety of what was to come has aways stopped me going through with this, eg I would end up using or just going back to subs as had to work, but this time Im not working and trying to shake this once and for all, but day 11 has been the worse so far, I feel so sick, physically its like having the flu, cant sleep, have no strength, even to clean or cook do anything other then lay around feeling like hell.

Do you guys know how much longer this will go on for? I just cant function, talk to anybody, deal with anything, dont feel like facing the world, and the worst is today is the first time that little voice is saying, dont put yourself through this, go score, everything will be okay, ahhhhhh.

My guiding light in all this is the thought of getting back to the gym, weights and creating natural endorphins rather then be hooked on this shit, but how long till this sickness wears off, and more importantly, how long does it take to get the energy levels back in order to do anything then lay around feeling like death warmed up.

hope this isnt to ra ra, I guess I feel very alone as Ive hidden this from my friends and family and its a private hell.

So if any of you guys have a similar story, have got through this and come out the other side, have any ideas how to get energy back ( maybe Im just depressed, or is this physical)


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 12:52 am 
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I suspect that most of the Hard work has been done and what you are going thru is the last gasps of the drugs in your system, trying as they might to talk you into using. DO NOT Give in whatever You do. Honestly here ina few days you will see improvement, in 2 more weeks that improvement will grow and grow each week so you have stuck it out this long you can hang in there for a few more days until you do start to feel better than you do now. Do NOT Compare to feeling good to when you were using but compare it to right here and now. Yes it will be fairly easy to feel better than you do right this instant, so Hang In there, maybe tomorrow or the next day You will feel better. You are ALMOST There, do not give up all this hard work you have done for the past 11 days. Say to yourself Damn is this all You got???surely You got something worse than this cause this ain't shit. I am the Master not these withdrawals..Dare that devil inside you to give it his best shot cause my Friend You have beat this Monster !!!!! I am So PROUD of YOU....you have done what many can not go COLD Turkey off of Opiates.....In a Year from now you will look back and think of this day...what will you say to yourself???...next year where will You be without drugs ? Clean and Sober....will you be working out in the gym. or what will You be doing ? Think Forward my Friend, because you are there..all except these last gasps this drug is trying to throw at you..You have done it...great GOING !!!!


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 12:56 am 
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Welcome to the forum, but I'm sorry you're in the midst of such a difficult time! I do know that there are at least a couple of members here that jumped off from a fairly high dose and went through withdrawal the hard way. I think that Romeo and Tear Jerker both have experience in this.

My question is, why did you quit at such a high dose instead of tapering down to a much more doable dose like .25 mg? I'm in the process of tapering down myself, but I plan on going very slowly and jumping off from an extremely low dose. Others have done it this way and have experienced little discomfort.

There is hope! I'm sure it seems endless right now, but it will eventually get better. I think that others have mentioned the 2 1/2 to three week mark as the turning point. I also know that a lot of people recommend keeping busy and starting to exercise as soon as you can.

I think you've come to the right place! There is a lot of collective wisdom here. There's also a section specific to stopping suboxone, so you might want to think about checking there for more info.

Good luck! I'm pulling for you!

Amy

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 1:40 am 
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Thanks Amy and One day for taking the time to reply, I appreciate your supportive words, it actually gives me a bit of hope as obviously not totally alone with this

I tried amy so much to taper down, Id got down to 1mg quite a few times and tried jumping off, but that was when running a small business with employees and as soon as I started to feel sick, I would just say no way can I do this and run a business and either go back up on the dose or stupidly go to the streets and find someone to score off.

Also, and this is the thing that I think is a big issue, I had a private doctor, and he would hand out suboxne like lollies, and pocket the cash. yes this saved me lining up at a chemist every day, but very immoral, making money off this problem, if I was having a hard week, and was stressed, he would say just go back on 8mg, you'll be right, no discussion of how to every get off.

Ive actually folded my business and just said stuff it, I cant spend the next 6 months tring to work down to .25 as that is such a hard, self disciplined thing to do, I did try but any bad day I would just pop a whole tab, its so insidious. Right now I have finshed with my doc, am house sitting way away from that doc, and cant get any more subs even if I want to, so hell it is, for another week anyway :)

But for all this, it is a totally self inflicted, and hard to make excuses, or feel sorry for one self when see all the suffering in the world, we have made our choice and are paying for it, the devil in this all is that optaits just make you so relaxed and at peace with the world and its scary that feeling may not come back.

cheers guys


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 Post subject: sub tiger
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 4:04 am 
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Mike.....if you aretyping, you are in pretty good shape. hang in there dammit! You took the tiger by the tail. He should slow down pretty soon. I want to get off the tiger myself. I'll be rooting for you!!


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 Post subject: Stay strong !
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 9:03 am 
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Hi Mike and welcome to the forum,

Believe me, your amongst people that know what your going through ~ and I think your doing great in spite of the fact you jumped from a pretty high dose.


Your right when you said the half life is what your still feeling. This shit lasts a long time in your system.

Stay strong, you can finish this out !


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 10:33 am 
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I've been there as I jumped from 12mg at one point. Day 11 wasn't the worst in my opinion but after about 3 weeks the worst is over. However, in my experience the insomnia lasts a very long time as does that emotional, lazy, uninterested, life is so dull feeling. To me, those are the worst two things and in my experience they continued into 3 months off although it did get better overall in time. It was still bad when I went back onto the sub however. I went back on the sub due to peripheral neuropathy in my feet that I learned of when I got off the sub. I also have another pain condition.

So you are in a difficult place. I am not going to tell you what to do because you will have to decide that for yourself. But DO expect to feel less than stellar for at least a year knowing it will slowly get better but very slowly and almost not noticable most days. You only know by looking back 2-4 weeks. If you expect that I think it makes it easier to make decisions.

From everything I have heard, you should work out as much as possible. The endorphins will help tremendously.

For goodness sakes, I will tell you to find a sub doctor. That way, if you DO feel like you need a fix, you don't go to the streets. If you know you have a fairly quick and easy out with a sub doctor, you will feel so much better and enable yourself to make better decisions. It's good to have that medical partner there and there are many sub doctors who WILL help you with staying off the suboxone versus encouraging you to get back on it.

Best wishes to you.
Cherie

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 12:44 pm 
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I have never tried to taper, so I can't offer you any advice on that. I just wanted to welcome you to the forum. There are many people here who have been in your shoes, and can help you out.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 8:02 pm 
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Any update?


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