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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 1:12 am 
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I am new to this board and this site. I have been addicted to Vicodin for the past 3 years resulting from three major surgeries. I never thought I would be where I am today...addicted, scared, struggling, ashamed and a stranger to my own life. I sit here now trying to figure out how I got here. I have a wonderful husband, who has no idea I am an addict. I am in major trouble legally, resulting from my addiction, and so ashamed. Besides one close girlfriend who I confided in yesterday, this is the first time I am speaking about this to others.
I started taking Vicodin 3 years ago. I lost almost 300 lbs and had 3 consecutive surgeries to remove 20 lbs of excess skin. The recovery was unbearable and I was prescribed Vicodin. Here I am 3 years later with a 20-30 pill a day (7.7/750mg) habit, 24 hours behind me and feeling high as a kite on Suboxone :roll: Dont get me wrong I am so grateful that this is helping me through the wd, lord knows I have tried without the Sub and was not able to go more than 1/2 day without feeling like death. One of my major regrets is that I didn't do this "before" getting in big legal trouble. I tried so many times to get into treatment but couldnt afford to pay my $4500.00 deductible and I had no idea this medication was available. When I finally broke down to my doctor he sent me to a Suboxone clinic the same day.
I took my first 8mg dose this morning and 30 minutes later surprisingly I was flying, which lasted mostly all day. Am I supposed to feel that way? I felt higher than when I was taking the Vicodin :?: I am supposed to take 2 a day so I only took 1/2 dose 15 minutes ago hoping it will just make sleeping easier and not make me feel high. I am chain smoking like crazy...is this normal? I made an appointment to start an outpatient program because I realize I just cant do this alone.
I am sorry about the long post I just feel so alone, scared and confused. Vicodin has ruined my life and I want to do whatever I need to get it back. :( Thank you for listening.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 3:19 am 
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I can understand your anxiety, and I hate to be "that person"..but you posted this exact same thing in 4 different areas. You only have to post once, and SOMEONE will come along within a couple of hours and reply.

As for your story...and your questions...this is just MY personal opinion, based on 5 years of Suboxone treatment.
To me...just from what I've seen people say who start Suboxone...it sounds like your opiate naive. You said you were into a 20-30 pill/day habit with 7.5 (you said 7.7 but I'm sure you meant 7.5mg). In total amounts, that's between 150mg and 400mg of opiates...but those amounts of aceto are dangerously high. Over 3500mg of acetominophen/day is on that line of becoming almost toxic...
But..here's what I came from: 15 pills/day of lortab 10/650...then onward to 200mg+ oxycontin/day the last couple of months I was in active addiction...
When I got into Suboxone treatment, I was far from feeling "high"....i just felt normal.
However, my induction and what I see people saying they have to do in this day & time is a bit different. Some doctors don't really know that much about prescribing or dosing Sub..and some don't make patients wait long enough before letting them take the first dose of Suboxone...
I was REQUIRED to wait 24-48hrs. Actually, I left the clinic on Wednesday evening...couldn't take anything else when I left. I had to come home, go into withdrawals, and be back on Friday morning..and if I wasn't in rip-roaring withdrawals when I came back, I would be rejected and sent home to try again the following week. So I damn sure didn't want to suffer that misery just to be told I wasn't bad enough...
From 2pm on Wednesday until 2pm on Friday I had nothing. At 2pm on Friday I was given my FIRST tablet of Suboxone...then 3-4min later, given another half of a tablet. Thats when I felt the "rush" of normal come over me. The best I can describe it...from chills/the shits/clammy/felt like shit...to suddenly feeling like my heart was pumping blood and a feeling of "warm" suddenly come over me....within 8-9 minutes of taking the suboxone. I started shedding clothes..went from a short sleeved undershirt + long sleeve shirt + jacket to just the short-sleeved undershirt. It was nearly instantaneous.

I think it's possible that you've been opiate high for so long that the normal you're feeling is something you've forgotten...and what you feel right now is closer to being clear-minded.
You could have possibly been given too high of a dose...hence the feelings you have, and I would only suggest discussing this with your doctor to adjust your dose accordingly. Suboxone is a VERY, VERY powerful drug. It's not like taking a Lortab/Vicodin without the opiate...it's extremely potent, and has to be in order for it to work the way it does.

I would try your dose the way it is for a couple of days and see how you level out. Starting out isn't going to be the same as time goes on, and you adjust to not having the full agonist opiates in your body...so you're in for some changes to take place, and may need the suboxone going into day 2 or day 3 as your body returns to a pre-opiate state.

I remember on the Friday that I started...I was actually leaving the state for a family reunion..and was actually sneaking away with my wife -- we were supposed to be getting divorced (thanks opiates!!)...and my live-in girlfriend was going to her moms that Friday for the weekend...she didn't want to go to my family reunion in Mississippi with me...
So ...I got my suboxone..my wife came to the house, and I was SUPPOSED to take her to her moms, then leave for Mississippi for the 3-day trip I had planned...
All of this going on, while starting my treatment...and I felt GREAT!
Was focused, clear-minded..and determined to win back my wife in this short period of time that I had with her.
We left on Friday...and the first night at my family's house in MS was weird. (no dirty-minded thoughts!!)...I had night sweats and such like I did with withdrawals..but I didn't have "withdrawals"...it was, just odd. I had the Suboxone, and my body must've been getting rid of the "poison" because I woke up and ..wasn't really ringing wet with sweat..but I could tell I had night sweats because the sheets and my shirt was damp. Plus, she couldn't sleep too close because she said I was sweating in my sleep.
The second night was a lot better on that front...we actually "slept" like a couple (and i mean we slept...still no dirty stuff)...and for the first time in years, I remembered what it felt like to hold her close to me without thoughts of pills, my next "high"...and what i had to do the following day in order to get my damn fix.
Then we came back home...back to face the issues I had waiting on me ...and to boot someone out of my house, and to start trying to fix my marriage that had crumbled thanks to my actions...
Now the 3rd night we spent here at home...you can now resume thinking those ..."thoughts"...and for the first time in literally months...I couldn't just keep going, and going, and going like the energizer bunny..maybe the opiates caused some sort of ...extra-long agility/stamina thing...or because i was high and just didn't feel much of anything...but geez...it was over before it began...and I had to get up and load the dishwasher..pass some time...etc just so things would be satisfiable on her behalf.
That's the gory details of my induction...which was 5+ years ago. Actually, I was inducted in Suboxone treatment on April 19, 2008. And I was at a methadone clinic...because at THAT time, it was nearly impossible to find a doctor who did the office visit+30 days of sub...
Only took a couple months though, and i managed to get into a doctor office setting...and have been going strong for 5 years as of July 7, 2013. Methadone clinics are expensive..and made me come weekly..and I couldn't afford to stay in there. Once I missed two appointments (two weeks), I was kicked out and had to return to my old pill-seeking ways. My wife was with me, and we still worked things out..but I was honest with her and I only did that bullshit for a couple of months before I found a doctor and got myself straight, this time for the long haul (instead of 1 week at a time IF I could afford it).

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October 8, 2013

RIP little brother. Gone, but not forgotten.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:55 am 
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Hi Wings, welcome to the forum.

Jonathan gave you a good description of how Suboxone works for most people. It sounds to me like, even though you were taking very large doses of Lortab, maybe your tolerance isn't just INCREDIBLY high. Now that doesn't mean at all that you don't need suboxone, just that maybe you don't need quite as much as your doctor is saying. I think it's normal for Vicodin users to feel a bit of a high the first couple days of treatment. I've seen it reported several times here. But it will go away very shortly and you will begin to get used to that normal feeling again. The best part of suboxone treatment is that you can take your dose once a day and not think about it again. That one dose WILL hold you for at least 24 hours and you can get some time under your belt without focusing on when to take the next handfull of pills. There is no ups and downs and waking up in WD, no wondering where you will score tomorrow...you can just rest and learn how to be normal again.

All that being said, I personally think you don't need more than 8mg per day. That is evidenced by how you felt today. The goal of suboxone treatment is to take the minimum effective dose and stay there until you are stable. Taking the extra is going to increase your side effects and give you that speedy feeling. It's also going to increase your tolerance to opiates, and that's NOT what you want. Keep in mind, this drug is used for heroin WD. No matter how bad you think you feel coming off vicodin, it's a walk in the park compared to heroin. You just don't need more than 8mg.

I wish you the best of luck in your treatment. Let us know how you're doing in a couple days.

Q


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:44 am 
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Thank you for your support. I'm so sorry for the multiple posts, I wasn't sure how this all worked, I will be sure to only post once from now on. It was a typo I meant 7.5 not 7.7, and I only wish I was wrong in the quantity of pills I was taking. I am nervous waiting for my blood test results and the strong possibility of liver damage, I should hear from my Dr today. I took 1\2 dose sub before bed last night and slept really well, but woke up with a bad almost hangover headache. I called my Dr yesterday and waiting to hear back.
Has anyone attended a 12 step meeting or do they look down on sub users?

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:25 am 
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Hi :-). I think the others have pretty much answered all your questions. I'm pretty new here too and I've gotten some wonderful advice. There are many really knowlegable and caring people here. I just wanted to address your question about smoking. When I first started subs I was chain smoking for probably the first week or so. After that I went back to my usual pack a day. It was pretty weird though. Just wanted you to know that it's not just you. Happened to me too. Just not sure why though.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 9:55 am 
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It depends, really, on the 12-step process in your area. It is pretty common for them to look down on Suboxone treatment as being "not clean"...because Suboxone is still a substance, albeit true that it has an enormous success rate with continued treatment...it's still not in their rules..

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RIP little brother. Gone, but not forgotten.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:22 am 
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It is my opinion that you should not continue taking a dose that gets you high/ makes you sick. You have the classic symptoms of someone who is taking too much suboxone. I'd start with 4mgs and see how that works for you. Another 2-4mg later in the evening if you need it. The dose your on is fairly high, and clearly not needed to a achieve a comfortable state for you. It's overkill if you are reacting the way that you are. Most doctors don't realize that 16mg is not a one size fits all dose so they start there.


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 Post subject: Moved Thread
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:42 pm 
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Hi Woaa,

I just now noticed all the multiple threads you started and deleted them except this one. This should have been posted in the Introductions section so I moved it. When you want to start a discussion, read the section headers to know which one to post it in.

Just a friendly tip. Welcome to the forum!

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 Post subject: Re: Moved Thread
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:07 pm 
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Thank you, I am new to the forum and learning my way around. Thanks for the heads up :wink:

rule62 wrote:
Hi Woaa,

I just now noticed all the multiple threads you started and deleted them except this one. This should have been posted in the Introductions section so I moved it. When you want to start a discussion, read the section headers to know which one to post it in.

Just a friendly tip. Welcome to the forum!

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