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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 1:38 pm 
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I will give a quick rundown of my past: Broke my back, was diagnosed with Fibromyalsia and Rheumetoid Arthritis. I was given a script of 2 10mg reprexains/day. (Reprexain, which I have yet to see another person ever talk about on these forums, is basically a vic 10 mg) So, year 1 I stuck to my script and did things the way you are supposed to. By year two, the meds would only make me feel "normal", they didn't help with the pain anymore, so I started buying more stuff off the streets (whatever was available.. but never hardcore things for fear of liking them too much) Two years later, now my doctor has to stop giving me my script because of new laws. I got ZERO help with anything for the withdrawls or anything... So I said fuck this and just continued throwing away all my money on pills for the next year. I was at this point, taking a morphine pill every day (80mg I believe, hard to remember now).

I finally had enough with being a slave to pills, the shady dealings with dealers. I felt like the biggest failure and HAD to fix this. I decided to quit taking the pills... but to my surprise, withdrawl was a hell I was not yet prepared for. About a month after I was seeing no relief in sight, I heard about Suboxone. I started taking subs to help with the withdrawls and because they made me feel normal for the first time in forever.

A year later, I decide I want to be done with subs. They no longer help with pain what-so-ever, they are causing me tons of health issues and I just want to be clean of everything already. I had only been on 2mg or less, once a day. I thought the withdrawl might suck but if I can just make it to one month, the physical sickness issues will be gone. My main symptoms were RLS #1, insomnia #2, depression/anxiety #3, pain everywhere and lethargy #4, also sneezing constantly, chills, the whole 9 yards. After over 30 days clean, I didn't feel an ounce better. Yes, that's right... I was STILL feeling just as shitty as I did in the first week. I wasn't getting better... and let me tell you it wasn't my mental state causing it because I was EXTREMELY determined and positive about it all.

Around day 45, I gave up and got back on subs because, well, I have a family and a life and I can't be bed-bound and unable to do anything for that much time, especially when NOTHING was getting better for me.

Fast forward to today, I'm on day 11 off subs. I did a quick taper down to probably 1 mg but it was too quick in all honesty. Either way, I just want to get past these symptoms but I'm so nervous because of my last experience. Also, I haven't really had RLS bad at all this time UNTIL last night where it came at me like crazy and today all day has still been with me. Sigh.

So many people say that by 2-3 weeks nearly all symptoms are gone... but why don't I experience that?! I mean, I of course know that everyone goes through things a little differently but over 45 days and STILL feeling as bad as day 3-4??? I have yet to read a story stating that much.

I'm worried, yet determined. I'd do just about anything at this point to get my life back. Subs really turned on me this past year.. making my anxiety/depression much worse, making me feel sick to my stomach all the time, headaches, and most of all: no emotion. It's hard to explain what it feels like to be emotionless, yet have extreme anxiety/depression... I guess I could explain it by saying the only time you feel anything is when you feel worried or sad.

My question is: How long did it take YOU to stop poo'ing your brains out, constant goosebumps, headaches, RLS, etc etc?? I will take on the mental aspect, but the physical one I can only deal with for so long... I have a family and a business to run to boot!

Last note, yes I tried all those vitamins and what not... but they literally did nothing for me.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 1:27 am 
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Hey there, IDK, really IDK, I read it all - 2 Xs and empathazie.

A year on bup after what amt of prescribed and street opiates??? Street says to me you became an addict. no Judgement! What bup dose did you stop at?/

My life on bup -- turned on me too -- It really did!! Gave me my life back.

I assumed all of my prior and current life crises - were mine -- and not bc of a bup molecule and worked on my recovery.

What happened to your pain? What is your plan to avoid opiates?
Others might be along!! Best always!!! Pel

PS fibro and RA are tough... bup does provide pain relief for some and sorry it did not work for you...

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Stopping went well -- its the staying stopped -- where the real work begins.
Coming here 'keeps recovery green'.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 8:42 am 
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I'm going to delete ur duplicate post in another section, there only needs to be one or you'll have ppl responding on different ones and it'll be confusing. This is a good section for this topic. No biggie just wanted to let ya know :)

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 9:58 pm 
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Thank you for your response!

I stopped at .5-1mg of bupe... But I do have good news! Yesterday/Today were much better days. I was terrified when so far along my symptoms seemed to get so much worse, but luckily, the past two days have been better. I really hope it keeps going this way, but we'll see! I'm not going to get too excited yet.

I never took subs and pain killers at the same time, sorry if I confused you there... I was rambling.

And, yes... I was getting them technically "off the street." Only because I didn't have the insurance for it. Could've went to a pain management clinic that I was accepted to (but wanted to stop taking pain killers.) Also, because I didn't want this on my record forever given my pain issues and medical problems... if someday I can't function without it, I don't want them (doctors) looking at me like an addict... although, I guess that's what I am. It was only about $50-$60 a month to just buy street meds, compared to the ridiculous fees of an office/ my own meds.

I chose to get off opiates because I hated needed a med everyday... they're costly, and honestly it was making me mean. I was snappy and angry quite often after being on them for years. At first it was amazing.. tons of patience, happy, social... etc.. but after a few years, that changed. I decided to just live with the pain and be able to be me.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 11:19 pm 
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Have you ever noticed that some people get mean or depressed or overly tired, or whatever it is, at a certain point in their lives? Sometimes it's called a midlife crisis. Sometimes it's precipitated by a loss like divorce or death or physical pain and sometimes it just happens. These shifts in how we feel come whether we are on a medication or not. Take buprenorphine, for example. If you are on it for years, there is nothing in it that would cause emotional shifts. Yet we tend to blame the medication if we have emotional changes. I suppose it makes sense that we would see the cause as something external rather than internal, but that's not necessarily the case.

The reason I say this is because people who are not on buprenorphine go through emotional difficulties too. Sometimes it takes some therapeutic work to figure out where it is coming from. Maybe it happens when we age. I hope that once you are off buprenorphine for a while you will find that you are not as irritable and mean. I think it would be a good thing if you were prepared for dealing with these same emotional problems though just in case they weren't caused by the buprenorphine.

Btw, withdrawal symptoms from suboxone usually peak between day 8-12, so it makes sense that you weren't feeling great at day 10. From the many descriptions of tapering off suboxone I can tell you that sometimes it feels like you take one step forward and one step back, so don't be surprised if you feel that. We wish you the best! Keep talking to us and tell us how you are doing!

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 9:27 am 
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Amy,

I completely agree, but it wasn't the subs making me mean/irritable.. it was the pain killers. I changed a lot once going on bups.

Update: I'm now at 2 weeks off subs and am feeling a lot better, other than the flu-like symptoms: constant sneezing, diarrhea, achey. I am feeling hopeful that the worst has passed! I am pleasantly surprised and even spent a full day out of the house yesterday, which last time I went through this I couldn't even get out of bed. It was hard, but I find the best thing to be keeping my mind off my symptoms as best as I can. :)

Thank you for your responses and support!


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 9:20 pm 
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SO... I have amazing news i wanted to share... I feel almost normal today, on day 14! (think it's day 14) I can't believe it... hope tomorrow is as good as today was. :D


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 11:16 pm 
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Hey Samantha! How are you doing as we approach Wednesday?

Amy

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 8:05 pm 
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Hi Amy,

I'm not feeling great... it's so strange how for a few days I can feel almost fine then all of a sudden feel like crap again. I get my hopes all up that the worst is over and then BAM! I feel like crap again. It's nothing terrible, just no motivation, exhausted, sore/achey, flu-like feeling, tummy all funky feeling... just hoping within a few more days I'll be feeling somewhat better.

Thank you for asking


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:18 pm 
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Congrats Samantha,

Two steps forward, one step back. You are making wonderful progress so just keep the end goal front and center. It may take up to a year depending on how fast your body recovers. We've read stories of just weeks up to a tad over a year. My thinking is that the pain meds or whatever opiate an addict was on is more to blame like you said. The longer you are on it the longer it will take. The old saying comes to mind: "When you dance, you eventually have to pay the piper" or something like that. No one gets away for free. The closest we've come is observing a member here taper over a long period and suffer only minimal symptoms. But they had discomfort each time they dropped their dose so the w/d was spread out over the long term.

You're doing so well and we are very happy for you. Keep it up!

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 03, 2017 8:31 pm 
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Thanks for sharing your story, Samantha! My experience has mirrored your experience in many ways, and it helps to know we are not all alone in all of this. You are a some number of days ahead of me (today is day 16), but I can relate very well to the roller coaster of good and bad days. Apparently, it gets better, so I'm looking forward to that improvement. How have things been the past few days?


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 2:31 am 
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Samantha I think your story demonstrates just how unpredictable buprenorphine withdrawal can be. I've found that there were times when I stopped Sub where it was a complete nightmare that seemed like it would never end. Other times I was taken aback by how easy it was to withstand the symptoms of withdrawal. Moreso than full agonists like morphine and methadone, buprenorphine withdrawal can vary not only between individuals, but also between episodes of withdrawal.

Mind you, still experiencing intense acute withdrawal at 30+ days is one of the worst cases I've heard about. That being said I do believe you in your self-reporting. I've experienced enough unusual symptoms from meds over the years that I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt these days.

Glad it's easier for you this time. Of course you have your bad and good days. Just remember that withdrawal symptoms are actually your brain healing!


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