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PostPosted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 10:40 pm 
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Bored in my tent so I am going to update with my phone! 8) Working is great, mood is at an all time high and being with guys who don't know anything about what I have been threw makes me forget too, it's great. I'd say energy levels are a little low but it's a lot easier to get up and my mornings feel good as they used to. I am still sleeping great but I am now a VERY light sleeper, no more sleep coma's for me, at least not yet so every time the wind blows hard and a branch makes a noise I wake up. I can go back to sleep so no problem, probably a good thing I wake up easy because no one can sneak up on me now? I don't know, thats the only up side I can find. :wink: It's day 29 I think and one more day to the one month mark! Holy crap I definitely don't feel like a month has gone by!

One issue, I STILL HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM ALL THE TIME!!!! I am trying to keep track of what I eat, even tho it's a lot these days, to figure out what's making it worse if anything is. I have managed to stay away from Immodium so thats good, sort of. Head still hurts all damn day but I think it's from the cold whether, who knows. Anyway that took for ever to type on my phone and I'm frustrated now. Cya!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:27 am 
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Wow, you typed all that on your phone? You must be bored! :D

I hear ya on the light sleeper thing. It took me a good while before I started sleeping deeply again. It'll come back.

Congratulations on the 1 month mark!!


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 Post subject: Wow, already a month?
PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 12:25 pm 
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Seriously, how has it been that long? I'm really impressed with how well you are doing. I'm not discouraged by what you write. I'm very encouraged. I am at 3 mg right now and to think that you jumped off at 4 mg and are this well only 1 month later is a huge boost. I know you're still having some symptoms, but obviously they aren't crippling or anything.

The stomach issues kinda worry me, but I keep hearing from people that it happens. The Immodium thing is very weird to me, cause who woulda thunk that Immodium was some kind of opiate-relative-thing? Isn't Alleve fantastic?! It actually DOES work, lol!! Who woulda thunk that either?

When I jump, I think I'm gonna eat bananas only or something. Can you even get bathroom issues if you only eat bananas? My husband would freak if I got those issues. :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 5:43 pm 
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Day 39 - Feeling great, no depression as long as I am active, worked a ton, I'm talking like 12-14 hour days non stop for the last week or so and today was my first day of school. I haven't had any chance to slow down and relax but thats what I want and need. I feel productive and my energy is no problem, sleep is so comfy I don't even want to wake up sometimes. Because I have been working so hard and sleeping so little I caught a pretty nasty cold but it's no big deal, today I'm starting to feel much better. I am now at 15 pounds over what I was and still going strong, every day I am working out in between work and eating everything in sight.

Still haven't received my medical card so I can't get my check-up done... That sucks because as of right now I still go to the bathroom around 3 times daily which I have read can be a normal thing but this is not "normal" bathroom visits, I wont go in to detail but you get the point. :wink: It's not that bad, when I drink coffee which is all the time, with some exceptions, I literally have to go 4-6 times in a day, I had no idea the caffeine lasted that long, usually I would have to go once and then that was it with coffee but uuuuuuuuhhhh, yeah. I dont want to stop drinking coffee right now, it's very useful so we'll see what the doc says when that time comes around, maybe I will switch the some other form of energy drink? Not that those are any better, probably worse for me.

I also got a chance to hang with some old friends and drink a little, what a good time that was. Usually drinking led to me being tired mixed with pills or whatever but this was a fun time. I'm not saying people should drink, I'm only trying to explain how much better EVERYTHING I do is. Oddly enough, people have said that I seem to be back to my old personality, I guess I went in to a shell and I was always nervous around people but now I am back to being off the wall and high on life, my speech class made that very apparent as well.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 6:02 pm 
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inneed wrote:
Day 39
I also got a chance to hang with some old friends and drink a little, what a good time that was. Usually drinking led to me being tired mixed with pills or whatever but this was a fun time. I'm not saying people should drink, I'm only trying to explain how much better EVERYTHING I do is. Oddly enough, people have said that I seem to be back to my old personality, I guess I went in to a shell and I was always nervous around people but now I am back to being off the wall and high on life, my speech class made that very apparent as well.


Just wanted to put a little warning here. I dont want to sound like preaching or anything, just..be carefull with drinking:)
I relapsed in the early 00`s partly due to "casual" drinking. Im not certain exactly what happened, just that i had this feeling, while being under influence of alchohol, that my mind was telling me; you can do better then this.
Aka while drinking was somewhat decent it was allso like, this isnt what i really want.
Allso, talking from experience, being a liqured up addict when someone pulls out a bag of cocain is a very vulnerable position to be in:)

The urinating you are experiencing is a sign of you being hydrated, which i believe is healthy. As long your piss isnt dark yellow or brown lol:)

Good wishes and thoughts from here.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 9:30 pm 
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filur11 thanks for the response, I am definitely aware of the dangers of picking up a new habit. Luckily I was never a drinker so when I do drink it doesn't make me think of doing anything else except maybe smoking some weed. I do, however, need to steer clear of Cocaine because that was the first thing I looked for after I got high off my opiates to boost me even more, I also found out that's one good way to die. :? My next big mark in this is the 2 month spot, as I said the only thing I have issues with is the bathroom and I wish is was going pee, it's actually diarrhea... :( I finally got to make a doctor appointment to get checked out and I'm going to get checked for parasites and other things that could be the cause. Hopefully it will just go away one day?

Everything seems to be finally moving forward like they were before I started using, I am making more work contacts and I am impressing potential bosses with my work. I definitely put myself behind but hopefully I can make up for the lost time and that seems more and more possible every day.

Today I was going threw some old jackets and I found an 80mg Oxy pill in a side pocket, guess what I did................................................................


I threw that bitch out without even thinking twice!!!!! I literally didn't think twice about it, I hate that stuff now and with a passion. I would have never imagined myself doing that, especially now that I don't have a blocker in my system but just to be safe I stopped going threw old things and I'm waiting for my girlfriend to come help me.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 2:27 pm 
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I have to laugh at the oxy 80 getting thrown out the window. I did the exact same thing with 3 oxy 40's I found in my glove compartment. I didn't actually find them randomly, they were stashed there from early in my recovery and every time I would think of it I would think "Why am I keeping those in there?" Finally just as I started my liquid taper I was driving on a road in the middle of no where and threw them bitches out the window into the rain. There are probably people that would want to murder us for this. I myself am now on day 19 off of subs. My only struggle remaining is motivation/happiness. I can imagine depression caused by PAWS causing many to relapse.

Stay strong brother.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 7:13 pm 
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Holy Smokes inneed and Rosettastoned, you guys had the strength and discipline to throw those things out!!!! That's incredible and awesome!!

How great you guys must have felt to have been able to do that, I'm way impressed!

Rosettastoned, congratulations on day 19 off subs!! The motivation/happiness will return, it did for me anyway. It takes longer than we want, to be sure, but it does come back. Actually my happiness returned after I picked up my music again, we've already talked about that one. Motivation was a bit longer returning, but I think getting my happy back started paving the way for my motivation to return.

Hang tough guys.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:35 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
Holy Smokes inneed and Rosettastoned, you guys had the strength and discipline to throw those things out!!!! That's incredible and awesome!!

How great you guys must have felt to have been able to do that, I'm way impressed!

Rosettastoned, congratulations on day 19 off subs!! The motivation/happiness will return, it did for me anyway. It takes longer than we want, to be sure, but it does come back. Actually my happiness returned after I picked up my music again, we've already talked about that one. Motivation was a bit longer returning, but I think getting my happy back started paving the way for my motivation to return.

Hang tough guys.



To be fair, when I threw my oxys away I was still on a decent Suboxone dosage. Inneed apparently threw his while 100% capable of getting high off of it. Pretty damn impressive.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 12:49 am 
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Rosettastoned wrote:
Romeo wrote:
Holy Smokes inneed and Rosettastoned, you guys had the strength and discipline to throw those things out!!!! That's incredible and awesome!!

How great you guys must have felt to have been able to do that, I'm way impressed!

Rosettastoned, congratulations on day 19 off subs!! The motivation/happiness will return, it did for me anyway. It takes longer than we want, to be sure, but it does come back. Actually my happiness returned after I picked up my music again, we've already talked about that one. Motivation was a bit longer returning, but I think getting my happy back started paving the way for my motivation to return.

Hang tough guys.



To be fair, when I threw my oxys away I was still on a decent Suboxone dosage. Inneed apparently threw his while 100% capable of getting high off of it. Pretty damn impressive.


Thanks, last night I had a dream about getting high for some reason, I woke up a little disappointed so I'm definitely still in danger when it comes to drugs. I feel like I should be updating more often but there's honestly no new progress, my life has gotten very busy with school and 2 jobs. The only time I am home is when it's bed time. Everything is still good, I still have the runs which is starting to really get on my last nerves. I have watched what I eat to try and determine what helps and/or makes it worse and nothing has an effect so I am almost positive it's just a lingering symptom of W/D's. Could be worse, at least I have my energy and sleep back so I can't complain really.

Thanks everyone for the never-ending support, it's done wonders for me. Hope everyone's doing good, I will have Sunday off and then I can really think about where I'm at but right now it's time to fall asleep and wake up early for school. Goodnight.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 12:00 pm 
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Inneed,

Have you ever heard of Celiac? It's a disease or reaction that is caused by a gluten intolerance. Gluten is basically wheat. My mother and my brother and his oldest daughter all have it and it causes symptoms that are consistent with yours. Any doctor can test you for it.

If you try clearing your diet of any wheat products for a while, you might get 'regular' again. Celiac disease affects 1 out of 133 people. It's way more common than most people know.

Anyway, google search Celiac and do some homework on it. My explanations were very, very simplistic. You really need to check it out, OK?

Good to hear from you again!


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:35 pm 
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I have had some similar nights Inneed. I'll randomly dream about buying oxys or whatever and its mental torture. Not sure wtf is causing this. I read in another thread that someone had a dream about doing coke and they were pissed off once they woke up and realized it was all a dream LOL. These dreams seem pretty freakin dangerous.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 6:13 pm 
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Rosettastoned,

That was me!! I remember how completely and utterly let down I felt!!

The dreams about doing coke faded after about three months.

While on sub I only remember one dream of doing OC's, it wasn't that vivid, so I guess I wasn't too, too pissed when I woke up. I want to say I was on suboxone for a good while when this happened, I'm pretty sure I was past the one year mark of being on suboxone.

I don't know what caused these dreams, but for me, my dreams seem to have something to do with things that took place in my life recently. Maybe I was 'daydreaming' of doing OC's that day and it got caught up in a real dream? I'm so far out of my league here, I just don't have any rational advice whatsoever.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 7:28 pm 
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Been a while.. Just got back from a work trip and I still have diarrhea and now it's accompanied by severe right side abdomen pains, right shoulder blade and near my heart. Sharp stabbing pains are getting worse every day and also getting much more persistent, when I stretch and arch backwards the pain is constant and I cant hold posture, especially when I inhale and hold my breath. Somethings not right and I'm starting to get freaked out, my doctor appointment is for Thursday and they recommended the E-R but obtaining more substantial debt is not something I am willing to do yet. Now that I'm back I will be able to update more as long as my body allows it.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 8:04 pm 
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inneed,

Please keep us posted on your situation!


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 8:48 pm 
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Hey inneed -

not to freak you out or anything, but what you describe sounds really similar to how I felt when I had appendicitis. You should probably get to the ER soon.

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