It is currently Fri Aug 18, 2017 11:33 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Day 10, missing my ????
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:31 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:20 am
Posts: 19
Big time emotions, check, ability to think more clearly, check, etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Woke up this morning MISSING those arms wrapped around me. That safe place we had built together through the years, the cocoon that was all OURS. Perfect, always willing to listen without condemnation, had a solution for me no matter what the problem, ALWAYS made me FEEL good, satisfaction guaranteed, WTF? Sorry, just amazed at my realization(s), and the prospect of what now. I am feeling very alone, EMPTY, a shell, longing only to feel (loved again?) NORMAL?

I truly believe in the power we have in our ability to program ourselves, and others, I have seen the wonders of positive thinking, and mind over matter. BUT, this is the fight of all fights, I feel like the character Bob, in the movie 'What about Bob', walking around all day saying "I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful", trying like hell to convince both mind and body its all righteous. I don't think either are listening, they miss their friend too.

I used to love roller coasters.

I am expecting the best of days today. Thought maybe getting a little tattoo work done would release those endorphins I am missing? I mean it, wouldn't this help, or am I just grasping? Hell I know I'm grasping, searching for something to make me feel just ok.

Thanks


And the movie 'What About Bob', guaranteed to get some laughter in your soul.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 1:14 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2013 2:33 am
Posts: 128
Hey! Welcome to normalcy! Lol. You probably feel this way because you are starting more and more to feel normal. I loved my security blanket of Suboxone and pills, until I didn't anymore.

People who aren't masked by drugs anymore, or never have been, have bad days too! Before, you numbed yourself with a piece of sub or a pill or whatever your DOC was. You numbed yourself to feel "good"! Now, you have to do that all on your own. COME ON, man! ;o) no seriously, this is a good thing. Learn what makes YOU happy. For me, it's music. All day long MUSIC. My son of course, my husband, the sun. My son and I will listen to music for an hour and dance off and on like silly crazy people. It makes me feel HUMAN. The roller coaster of not having your "friend" may make you gloom. But fight past it!

Absolutely getting tattoo work done will help! ANYTHING to connect you to YOU again. It'll take you out of the house for a few hours, talking to other human beings, laughing hopefully and feeling a little good pain.

"Just keep swimming"(okay, now I'm quoting children's movies, help!) it'll all be okay.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 3:36 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
It's quite normal to grieve the loss of your friend, your drug. Like you said, drugs were your everything and it's only normal to grieve for them when they're gone. Even though we grew to hate them, we still miss them. We addicts are kinda weird, aren't we? :)

If you want to release those endorphins you're missing, a tattoo isn't bad. I got my very first one months after I quit Suboxone and I LOVE it!! My tattoo is symbolic of my struggle to survive my wd and an indicator never to use again.

Another great way to release those endorphins is exercise.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:40 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:20 am
Posts: 19
Thank you both, I got over my pity party as soon as I got out of the house! But geez the stomach cravings are the hardest today, not hungry for food, I'm certain it is a craving for the drug. Still sucks, but I can deal with it.

Some great strides though today, I wasn't as weak this morning, got into the shower early and out of the house. Cranked up some Jonny Lang and had what I can only describe as an altered reality from 17 years ago, the last time I was clean! I could smell LIFE, I FELT what I was feeling then, my reality, then. Didn't last long, maybe a minute, but it was a HUGE motivator for me, I want that.

Unanimous with the tattoo work question, obviously your cultured people!!! Wife and I road the bike a bit today, great medicine, and we stopped by the shop, hopefully get in there tomorrow. Like you Romeo, this will be a reminder for me of when I got clean. Got my first one when I was 15, tattoo shops in the 70's didn't care about your age, the only question was can you pay. How things have changed, I miss the 70's............and bell bottoms, long sideburns, cool lots, Evel Knievel, hula hoop, twister, horrible home grown, disco...DISCO? Never mind I'm good here! ;>)



Motivated here. THANK YOU for this therapy.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group