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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:24 pm 
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Hey boop, good to hear from ya!! I wish you were doing better, but nonetheless, good to hear from you!!

Hang in there, man.

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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:25 pm 
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Thanks, Romeo.


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:40 pm 
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Anytime, my good man!! :)

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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:41 pm 
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:)


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:02 pm 
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Hey boop, need a laugh?

Remember back when you thought that I thought you were a girl cuz I said something about you turning tricks on the corner and eating outta garbage cans. When you came on and posted, "hey, I'm not a girl" I laughed so damn hard!! K, that's all I got, sorry. :)

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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:16 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
Hey boop, need a laugh?

Remember back when you thought that I thought you were a girl cuz I said something about you turning tricks on the corner and eating outta garbage cans. When you came on and posted, "hey, I'm not a girl" I laughed so damn hard!! K, that's all I got, sorry. :)


Oh yeah, damn near forgot about that exchange, that was pretty f'n funny :oops: :)

I've had some some great times, even through difficult times, on this forum.


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 7:36 am 
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no_boop_shoo_be_doop wrote:
Romeo wrote:
Hey boop, need a laugh?

Remember back when you thought that I thought you were a girl cuz I said something about you turning tricks on the corner and eating outta garbage cans. When you came on and posted, "hey, I'm not a girl" I laughed so damn hard!! K, that's all I got, sorry. :)


Oh yeah, damn near forgot about that exchange, that was pretty f'n funny :oops: :)

I've had some some great times, even through difficult times, on this forum.

And I reminded you bozos that guys can turn tricks too!! This is 2014 after all- Equality of the sexes!! :lol:
Glad to see you posting boop!!! Hang in there- you are not alone!
:D BF

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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 6:41 pm 
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ButterFLYING! wrote:
no_boop_shoo_be_doop wrote:
Romeo wrote:
Hey boop, need a laugh?

Remember back when you thought that I thought you were a girl cuz I said something about you turning tricks on the corner and eating outta garbage cans. When you came on and posted, "hey, I'm not a girl" I laughed so damn hard!! K, that's all I got, sorry. :)


Oh yeah, damn near forgot about that exchange, that was pretty f'n funny :oops: :)

I've had some some great times, even through difficult times, on this forum.

And I reminded you bozos that guys can turn tricks too!! This is 2014 after all- Equality of the sexes!! :lol:


That you did.. me oh my.. how could I forget? :P (actually, I didn't :wink: )

ButterFLYING! wrote:
Glad to see you posting boop!!! Hang in there- you are not alone!
:D BF

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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 7:13 pm 
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why the small dose. :?: :?:


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 8:02 pm 
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dirtyblonde wrote:
why the small dose. :?: :?:



Circumstances were a lot different last time I stopped subs. I can get through a highish jump like 2 mg, if circumstances allow for it (call me a wimp, but I can't cope with carrying on life as usual after a highish jump, especially during the peak WDs period). Primarily socially, and obligations. I had a nice window of opportunity whereas I could hide out in my apt undisturbed for the better part of a month, using this forum to keep from going crazy from being alone and in isolation, during the worst of it. Plus I was long over any pain issues with smashed foot, having been on subs for months after my orthopedic treatment was discontinued (along with the oxycodone, which is when I immediately went to subs, having lucked into a good source). I have at least 4-6 weeks left with my arm, in treatment. Mostly physical therapy. Provided I can get it, my HMO is giving me hell. Long story, but I'd have to travel many many miles to get to one in their network, and I don't own a car, and doc says I should go 3x per week. I can't afford to go out of network, the copays are insane. But that's a whole 'nudder ordeal. I have new insurance (Blue Cross) that kicks in Sept 1st, so, maybe If my mom can get me to one or two in the meantime (she has a very busy schedule, no time to chauffeur me around, and I don't own a car), they can give me enough "do at home" exercises to get me by until Sept, so I don't end up fucked up for over 6 months until full mobility is back, which is what my ortho doc said could happen in worse case scenario if I don't receive adequate physical therapy at this stage. From what I understand, good physical therapists constantly evaluate progress, etc, and make adjustments accordingly, as the treatment progresses.


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 4:08 pm 
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dam haus, things will get better for you somehow I feel it.


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 6:57 pm 
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YOU CAN DO IT BOOP! I HAVE FAITH IN YOU!!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 10:22 pm 
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Thanks DB...and you too, Trainer! The support from you two, really means a lot to me, since I was with you guys during my first start, and here I am, back to psyching myself up again (well trying my best to, anyway) for the final sub dose.

Me and you DB, seemed to almost have some kind of synchronicity going at times, with the song back and froths, er, I mean forths? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhddPnxDWvI


I'll be thinking of your early days detoxing a lot too, Trainer. We were both 2mg jumpers (and IIRC, so was DB), but you did it the hard way. It'll be a little harder for me this time around; more "IRL" human interactions, and less comfort meds, but still, you are the champ when it comes to just pushing through no matter what, without even using meds. Its incredible, really. When I'm sweating like crazy, and having other symptoms, I'll try and think of your lassie-faire attitude toward much of it, Trainer; not being overly concerned, if at all, about coworkers, etc. That's part of my problem, worrying about others seeing the "change" in me while going through peak WDs, when I should just not even think about it, as most people spend most of their time in their own little world anyway, thinking of there own personal probs, and not worrying about somebody else seeming a little off center (unless maybe they are puking or something, lol) its something I have to go through, and eventually I'll return to some semblance of normalcy, regardless. But, I remember you being at work freezing in a sweat soaked shirt in the A/C, and you kind of laughing it off even tho I'm sure it was far from pleasant. I'll never forget so many of the things you said that made me crack-up, like, for example, your dog (I forget which one) who is normally a sock thief from the dirty clothes hamper, not touching yours, when you were in WDs, lol.


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Sat Aug 09, 2014 7:26 pm 
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If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can really? Dude, I smelled sooooo bad then! Lmfao! But I couldn't do anything about it (cheap asses give us 1 flippin shirt to have), so my thought was fuck it! I am here, I stink, so what! Screw em! The sweats were killer for me but some folks don't get them so bad, so maybe you will be one of the lucky ones! Ya know you stink when your own dog won't steal the detox socks!

The way I see the world is like this "if you can't change your immediate circumstance, then just roll with it until you can". Like today, I am at work until 9 pm, been here since 9 am. I can't change that, so rather than get pissy, irritated and ruin my day, I am going with it. Joking about it, having fun with the customers and not staring at the clock, wishing I was home. The day has flown by and I have 2 hours left. Home stretch baby! I actually have had a really great day despite being stuck inside working. I refuse to be my own worst enemy and wallow in things I can't change. We only hurt ourselves by doing that. I also smell like puppy piss because earlier I held a 10 week old pitbull and he pissed a river down my shirt and pants. Do I care? Nope!!!!!! Keeps folks out of my personal space! Lmao!!! For me, thats a plus! There is a bright side to everything!


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 1:02 am 
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trainer14 wrote:
If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can really? Dude, I smelled sooooo bad then! Lmfao! But I couldn't do anything about it (cheap asses give us 1 flippin shirt to have), so my thought was fuck it! I am here, I stink, so what! Screw em! The sweats were killer for me but some folks don't get them so bad, so maybe you will be one of the lucky ones! Ya know you stink when your own dog won't steal the detox socks!

The way I see the world is like this "if you can't change your immediate circumstance, then just roll with it until you can". Like today, I am at work until 9 pm, been here since 9 am. I can't change that, so rather than get pissy, irritated and ruin my day, I am going with it. Joking about it, having fun with the customers and not staring at the clock, wishing I was home. The day has flown by and I have 2 hours left. Home stretch baby! I actually have had a really great day despite being stuck inside working. I refuse to be my own worst enemy and wallow in things I can't change. We only hurt ourselves by doing that. I also smell like puppy piss because earlier I held a 10 week old pitbull and he pissed a river down my shirt and pants. Do I care? Nope!!!!!! Keeps folks out of my personal space! Lmao!!! For me, thats a plus! There is a bright side to everything!


I should print out that bolded part in some kinda cool font, and put it on the fridge under a magnet, for the days that are rapidly approaching. I'm crossing my fingers that the relatively decent amount of space between last time I jumped and restarted around a month go, and fact I haven't been on it so long this time, might make it easier on me.

Down to last half of an 8 mg strip. Over last week or so, been bouncing between. 0.75 to 1mg per day, but more days on the 0.75. Really (and I mean really) time to bite the bullet and go down to 0.5 (and stay there) to wrap this up. The gf of the friend who got out of rehab isn't parting with strips anymore (she was tired of often running out before she could refill her script, by doing that for a few friends/acquaintances), and that was my only source (I've mentioned that I spoke with other sources about not calling me, that I was quitting, and then deleting their number, and they've honored the request), so I guess that's a good thing. The sooner I stop the easier it will be since I had a decent amount of time between my last jump off subs. Still thinking of doing it like in the taper image I posted a page back, like I'm on "day 21" (starting on 0.5), and then skipping days. I think that might be good instead of going down to .25, it will ease me into not using it everyday, yet probably have the same overall effect insofar as "half life" (and quarter life AKA" half of half life, etc, built up in my system)", come jump time.

It's been kinda rough at times tapering, and, I still get some moderate pain spells in the shoulder. It's usually after I move my arm in a certain way and get a momentarily "10" on the pain scale of 1-10, with 10 being the worst, then after, it settles into maybe a 5 or 6. I have a heating pad that works really well, I am thinking of getting another one though, so I can have one on back side of shoulder and one on top, when I lay me down for a time out, w/heating pad until the pain starts to recede. What kinda sucks is I can't really do hot baths this go around. I'm too tall for tub under these circumstances (am about 6 foot, give or take a 1/4 inch or so, depending on if I'm conscious of posture) really, so there's always pressure on my shoulder against an obviously hard surface, unless I twist into a really awkward position, or just sit up, which kinda defeats the purpose, since only lower half of body would benefit, and not the area that is most bothersome now (shoulder). When I used them last time, it was okay with my height factor, I just had to cross legs in a semi lotus kinda way, to have them mostly under water, or just have my knees up, Usually a combo of both during the epsom baths.. I'd shift around some during the course of my baths, changing up with the leg crossing, etc. But I have to rely on heating pads now, is the point, without all the rambling.

If I'm scarce at times, its not cuz I've left the forum, there are just times where I just am not feeling in the groove for posting, for a variety of reasons. Some, is trying to play catch up with things I've let slide since the injury, and another example, which I have to admit (even though I don't want to, as it might seem silly :oops: ), is I have actually become depressed sometimes, in an unproductive, self-pity sorta way, when checking in here, and seeing people with months in now, who were my comrades in detox arms, since first time I successfully (until injury) jumped-- seeing them report on how so many areas of their lives have improved, the competitions (all in good fun) for putting on muscle, etc., from working out.. which I was just on the verge of doing before accident (scoping out the local, modernly equipped YMCA, and was already putting a lot of miles on bike, for cardio) and seeming to feel great about life in general, with so much time between them and subs, since they're now way past any lingering WDs.

"Why me?" Wah, call me a wahambulance. :-/ I'm happy for y'all tho, who pushed on through to the other side. I'm not the type to develop an animosity-orientated envy towards others for their hard earned successes, but still, like I said above. Rather then getting into a 'wallowing in my own shit' mode, I should be looking at it as, "that's what's waiting for me after I get off sub and thru whatever WDs await me, and arm is mended enough for weight training and other things, as I already know it's not helpful to think about it any other way. To keep it simple, what would be best way of viewing it all, is "shit happens" (and it was my turn for it to happen), when I get in those sorts of moods. And shit can be cleaned up. How is debatable tho. Is it best to wait until it dries, and just pick it up with a paper towel? I guess that depends on where, too. If on the back patio, vs steaming in the house like a glade plug-in air freshener, but manufactured using a different process, without aromatherapy in mind. OF course if its a mostly liquid, pool of detox, poo stew, and happens someplace other than into the porcelain throne, a bucket of some sudsy water and a rinse bucket is probably best, especially if on a carpeted area.

Intro to this song just came to mind, but it carries a little more gravitas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOKn33-q4Ao


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 6:48 am 
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no_boop_shoo_be_doop wrote:
[

I should be looking at it as, "that's what's waiting for me after I get off sub and thru whatever WDs await me, and arm is mended enough for weight training and other things, as I already know it's not helpful to think about it any other way. To keep it simple, what would be best way of viewing it all, is "shit happens" (and it was my turn for it
Intro to this song just came to mind, but it carries a little more gravitas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOKn33-q4Ao

Hey Boop- I know it is scary getting closer to "jump time"- I feel for you, but feel confident that you can do it and will soon be "on the other side"!! Good for you for not getting more subs, even though it sounds like it is not an option for you anyway. If that door is closed, and you are "ready" keep looking forward! One phrase that really got under my skin and helped motivate me before and during my jump is what Trainer's dad used to say to her "Are you a warrior, or a wimp?" I was feeing pretty wimpy until I made the "choice" to really fight for my freedom. It was not easy, but also not nearly as hard as I 'feared"!!
I believe JI, Trainer's (and and I know it is true for me) at least partial motivation to post how well we are doing is in order to give hope and motivation to others that it can be done, and you WILL be feeling much better- just a matter of time.
Of course you have the added problem of the shoulder, but you are healing, and eventually the pain will ebb...thinking of you and praying for you today!! Keep posting!
:D BF

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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 12:27 pm 
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I wish I could wave my magic trainer wand and take it all away for you boop. I feel for you because I know what you are about to go through. I know it sucks. However, victory is so much sweeter when we claw our way through the mud as we try to get to the top, stake our flag in triumph, and finally make it. You are our resident researcher and Einstein, and I know you can make it through this with all that knowledge swimming around in your head! You know what to expect, things to help the symptoms and what you will feel like 7, 12, 18 days into the process. You got this boop!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 9:55 pm 
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trainer14 wrote:
I wish I could wave my magic trainer wand and take it all away for you boop. I feel for you because I know what you are about to go through. I know it sucks. However, victory is so much sweeter when we claw our way through the mud as we try to get to the top, stake our flag in triumph, and finally make it. You are our resident researcher and Einstein, and I know you can make it through this with all that knowledge swimming around in your head! You know what to expect, things to help the symptoms and what you will feel like 7, 12, 18 days into the process. You got this boop!!!!


Aw, that's a super sweet thing to say, it really means a a lot to me.

Quote:
"You got this boop!!!!"


Well, it still kinda has me, but I'll get it back....

...with a little help from my friends, you included. But think things like "natural highs", like endorphins, heh. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCrlyX6XbTU


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 6:48 pm 
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Boop, how ya doing? Just dropping in on your thread to let you know I am thinking about ya!


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 Post subject: Re: Day 6, jump from 2mg
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 7:25 pm 
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I second that ^^^^^^- How are you doing today???

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