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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:15 am 
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I've been on subs for 3 years after getting hooked on pain meds after a back surgery. It's crazy how that time just flew by. I never planned on being on it for so long. Every time I picked up my script I knew I needed to start tapering. Sunday I decided I'm done. I know jumping from 24mgs isn't the smartest thing to do but I've had enough. I've been paying cash every month because I didn't want my regular doctor or anyone else knowing. I'm sick of spending the money. I'm sick of hiding it. I'm just sick of it all. I'm ready to be free and clear of any medication that I have to rely on to make it through the day.

Well, this is day 4. I'm not feeling too bad but not 100%. Mainly just a little anxiety. I've been a little clammy at times. But, I've slept better the last 4 nights than I have the whole time I've been on sub. I would normally wake up multiple times a night. The last 4 nights I didn't wake up once. I'm working 10 hour days doing physical work now and getting by just fine. My energy level isn't where it normally is but I'm just pushing through and it's not too bad. I've been through opiate withdrawals a handful of times in the past and so far this seems so much easier. I was in the Marine Corps Infantry so try and think of the tough times when I was in war and tell myself if I can get through that then this should be a cake walk. So far it isn't that bad. I guess my question is......is the worst yet to come?


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:29 am 
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I should've mentioned that suboxone helped me get my life back on track so I'm thankful for that. I have nothing against it. I don't know where I'd be if I wouldn't have taken it. It's just time for me to move on. I'm sure most can understand that.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 10:00 am 
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bmdad wrote:
I guess my question is......is the worst yet to come?


To be blunt......yes, almost without a doubt. You were on a ceiling dose of a medication with an incredibly long half-life.

I personally believe that you can be medication free.....I am after struggling for years. Having said that, are you really sure you are ready? I thought that I was ready many a times before I actually was and I tried to force things. This would end up in me being back on subs and tapering (no big deal) or getting high ( :x ).

For me it has been true that "slow and steady wins the race". I tapered and had some support (NA) and something of a plan and it took a couple of years for everything to come to fruition. Now I am off subs 1 year (after 4 years on) and medications 6 months.

I guess I am advising that you can do it, but have a plan.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 10:55 am 
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I appreciate the reply. I know all too well about really being ready. I can't tell you how many times I went through that with pain meds. I once went cold turkey off of a 400-480mg a day habit of oxy and was clean for two years so I know I can push through. I had another back surgery and got drawn back in. I've read that some people have worse withdrawals from sub than other opiates but I've also read there are a select few that are lucky. Who knows, maybe I'll be one of the lucky ones. I guess time will tell. I'm ready. I'm stubborn. I will make it through.

I know about the half life and that it takes time to get out of your system. If you could guess, what day do you think my withdrawals will peak? It's just nice having an idea of when it's gonna hit me the hardest.

Thanks again for the reply. Congrats to you for fighting hard and making it through. I'm happy for you!


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:33 am 
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Cool....you seem to have a good attitude about it all and you never know, you could indeed be one of the lucky ones.

I can't say on the peak withdrawals thing since not only did I not jump from a high dose, I also scrambled to cover up my withdrawal with weed and benzos for a while and was fortunate enough to be able to get through that and pull away.

Romeo might be able to share some of his experience. I believe he jumped from a pretty high dose.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:03 pm 
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After browsing some other posts, according to Romeo, it seems that days 7-10 are the worst. Since I jumped at such a high dose it may different for me. I'll find out soon!


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 3:36 pm 
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First I want to say thanks so much for your service. I am sure that you are mentally, very strong and can do anything you set your mind to.

I'm no expert but I jumped from 4mg 11 days ago and the worst so far was yesterday (day 10) and today. Up until yesterday was just feeling some hot/cold flashes, anxiety, moody and low motivation. Yesterday all those tripled in intensity. I layed around feeling sorry for myself all day yesterday. Trying to keep busy today. I think if I had a 9-5 I had to go to, and didn't work for myself it would help keep me busy so that's a plus for you. I hope it never gets to bad for you to manage. Good luck!


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:27 pm 
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Thanks Blondie. I appreciate that.

I kind of planned it to where I would be working some long hours. I know how much moving around helps. I also know how tough it can be when you aren't forced to have to do something. It seems the bed and remote just keep calling your name!

You're doing an awesome job. I'm sure you'll start feeling better any day now. Just keep your eye on the prize and remember the discomfort is temporary.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 6:03 pm 
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Awww and thank YOU.

You should update daily. It could help someone in your shoes later on.

I think this forum is a help in some small way. I am very alone in my struggle, wish I was sitting next to someone right now that understood what is wrong and why I feel like s*it. Coming on here reminds me I'm not the only one to struggle with opiates/withdrawal and seeing other people's stories and timelines helps me know where I'm at with all this. Do you have a good support system and a plan for if things get really rough for a few days?

Take care
-J


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 12:01 am 
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Hey! 24 mg huh?! Wowww and people told me jumping at 4 mg was high. Nontheless i wish you the best on this great and shitty journey! Haha. Well ive been off subs and all that for 122 days now and for me personally my withdrawals peaked at day 5 and lasted through day 12. Im still sort of struggling now but i feel great physically just kind of socially awkward everywhere i go, hopefully that changes in due time. Just got an addiction therapist. Hopefully that helps! Stay strong and positive my friend!


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 7:14 am 
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I'm interested to hear how it goes for you. I was also on subs for 3 years, and paid a lot of money for it every month. Between the doctor visits and the costs of the meds, I can understand why you want to be done. And I know some people just don't taper, and make it thru. I did taper, and I'm thru the worst of the withdrawals now at 2 and a half weeks without sub. Good luck. I hope your physical fitness keeps you strong!


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 7:31 am 
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I'm alone in my struggle too. I know it's not the right approach but, as they say, it is what it is. The toughest part is just trying to act like everything is fine and I feel okay. To be honest, I don't feel completely horrible like I did when withdrawing from opiates. I don't feel great either though. I sure wish I could go back and time and could've prevented my back injury. It totally screwed up my life. I never abused any kind of drug before the pain meds. I rarely even drank. I'm just one of the millions of people that got sucked into pain med abuse due to an injury. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself though. It's just one of those hurdles in life that we have to overcome. But hey, at least it was only a back injury cause it could've turned out much worse as it did for a couple of my fellow Marines. I wish I could've changed it but I don't regret it at all. Life works in mysterious ways and all of this will make us stronger.

It's day 5 and I feel about the same as I have the last few days. I can handle it if it gets a little worse than what I feel now. How much worse I'm not sure. Time will tell and I'll take it as it comes.

Blondie...you're not alone in this battle. You said it best when you said this forum helps in a small way. It's nice knowing there are others out there that can relate. Not that I wish any of it on anyone though. You're doing a great job at this so just keep pushing through. One day at a time, right? If you need anything, even just to vent, I'm here to listen and will help in any way I can. Hang in there girl. You've got this! :D

Boxer, congrats on 122 days! That's awesome. I envy you for that but know I'll get there too. Make sure you never forget the rough times you had to endure to get to where you're at. It's all too easy to forgot the pain we went through and that often leads to relapse. It's great that you got an addiction therapist. That will help you big time.

Well, off to work. It's not easy working through this but it really helps to keep my mind off of everything.

Thanks for the replies. It helps so much!


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 7:35 am 
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Wow...

If you can make it from a jump at 24mg then I am going to feel like a great big baby if I can't make it from my low taper! I'm watching with interest, keep us posted!

Q


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 10:13 am 
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Hey Freedom.....for some reason I missed your post this morning. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean about the costs. I was paying around $900 a month. Add that up over 3 years and it makes you sick to think about it. Congrats on getting off. For some it's the right thing to do. It's just a personal choice. All situations are different.

Horsegal .......I will definitely keep you posted! As of now it's day 5 and I have all kinds of energy. It's kind of a nervous/anxious energy but not bad at all. I've never had anxiety so it's kind of weird. I'm just ready for day 10 because I read that's when the worst is. I'll just have to wait and see.

Hope everyone is doing well!


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 3:18 am 
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How are you holding up? Was today a good day?

Let me know how day 6 treats you
:)


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 12:42 pm 
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Curious how you're holding up? :)


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 7:52 pm 
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Hey, I haven't commented yet, but dying to know how you are!! I was taking the subutex pills, so I truly have no idea how much I was on, but I figure somewhere around .50mg a day and am on Day 7! The worst for me was Days 2-4 mainly Day 3. I've seen on here some that coming off of a high dosage kicks your ass a few days later, but like you said maybe it'll go on being bearable! That'd be great! I've never taken more than 1mg a day, but did quit 2.5 years ago(before getting hooked on percs and back on subs for the last 20 months), and I have to say that time was not even as bad as this! Each time and each person is different. Having a great attitude will get you so far!!

Thanks as well for your service. All of my best friends are deployed and I lost my fiancé in 2010, he was KIA. It's sure tough as hell to go through even watching your friends!! I truly believe you can do anything after that!


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