It is currently Tue Aug 22, 2017 5:19 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 44 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:33 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:24 am
Posts: 33
I had a sub doc this is my third time posting this but it keeps logging ne out everytine i spoke of tapering he would say nothing about it. Told him i was fine at two mgs aftet two more visits he put me at 12mgs saying the anger and aggression wad from my previous opiate use. I do not wang to go baxk to him at all. He was the cheapest aeound here and i can not financially afford it right now and i do not want to go back on subs period. My surgery for ny knee is in two weeks so hopefully ill be back to normal by then. I have someone to dispense my pain medication after that i have a script for oxycodone 5mgs that i have not filled been tempted but have not done it i have suppirt from my boyfriend best friend and mother.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 6:19 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More

Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:32 pm
Posts: 249
is surgery this soon absolutely necessary or can it wait a few months? taking pain meds, even if prescribed and dispensed by a family member, this soon after detoxing is playing with fire. It is so fucking dangerous!
I had a colonoscopy a month after getting off subs and the medication they gave me during the procedure immediately lit up the addict part of my brain and I soon went out to get drugs. Even with good intentions, taking any addictive med this soon in recovery will most likely activate your addiction. Even if you think you're in control because someone is holding your meds doesn't mean you won't go out and get more when you remember the "feeling" and want more of it.

Please be careful!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:50 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:24 am
Posts: 33
Day 11 feel rough at work moving slow but im here. Praying this gets better soon yes surgery is necessary if i want any quality of life and not be in constant pain.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 7:51 am 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:24 am
Posts: 33
Day 12 i thought things wld be better by now but they are not :evil: i dont knoe
How much longer i can go on like this. From everything i have read i should be better by now. My house is a mess work has been so so hard idk what to do i keep praying i dont want another hour of this. I read about someone having tge rapid detox with naltrexone i wish i could do that. Ugh this really sucks.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 9:25 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 03, 2014 11:09 am
Posts: 256
kearsten wrote:
Day 12 i thought things wld be better by now but they are not :evil: i dont knoe
How much longer i can go on like this. From everything i have read i should be better by now. My house is a mess work has been so so hard idk what to do i keep praying i dont want another hour of this. I read about someone having tge rapid detox with naltrexone i wish i could do that. Ugh this really sucks.

Don't give up!! Wish I had 12 days off- it has to get better soon- hang in there! Try hot baths, music, getting out and around, keeping your mind busy (these things have helped me). Keep posting!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 9:39 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 27, 2014 9:01 am
Posts: 641
Location: Toronto
Hi Kearsten, sorry to hear that you're not totally over the hump, but hopefully you'll get there before you know it.

I can relate to the feeling of hopelessness (not being able to stand 'another hour of this'). But it does pass, doesn't it?

-- JI



kearsten wrote:
Day 12 i thought things wld be better by now but they are not :evil: i dont knoe
How much longer i can go on like this. From everything i have read i should be better by now. My house is a mess work has been so so hard idk what to do i keep praying i dont want another hour of this. I read about someone having tge rapid detox with naltrexone i wish i could do that. Ugh this really sucks.

_________________
"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 11:44 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:51 am
Posts: 9
Kearsten, don't give up! 12 days is awesome! It has to get better soon, and you have already come so far!!

We are all pulling/praying for you!

_________________
Cautiously Optimistic


"One man gathers what another man spills"


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 2:44 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:24 am
Posts: 33
I failed i took one mg of suboxone today. Maybe i can start tapering from there. I have about ten 8mg strips left. Im so upset with myself. Will this ever ever end? I am so tired of having to take something to feel normal to function properly i dobt know where to go from here i really dont. I couldnt take another second of it. So i will try tapering and be consistent with it. One mg made me a lot better other than being angry with myself. I want to get down ti .125 of a mg what is the best taper from one mg? Reduce every week by how much?


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 2:47 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:24 am
Posts: 33
I let myself down. 12 days for nothing. Please what do i do?


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 3:11 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:24 am
Posts: 33
Thank you all for the praryers and support. I just want to be free of this once and for all. I guess ill wair until i start having wds again and take .75 idk how i need to do this to get through it. Maybe third times a charm. I want this so bad but i feel so helpless and weak.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 3:57 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 10:48 pm
Posts: 1316
First off, ...YOU re not a failure k..
What you are trying to do isnt a simple thing.

I see that word failure in posts and I have to respond.

Im not a tapper nor ready to jump, but cheer for those who feel there ready or need to.

I do not know your story either as to why your going off sub, thats up to each oneof us ..well hopefully.

Best of luck and you are not a failure K......razor55


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 5:01 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2014 1:47 pm
Posts: 747
I am into the 5th day, heading on my 6th. I have the monster fatigue, insomnia and moving like I wear an iron suit but I actually look at it like a good thing, my body is healing and when the day comes when I feelnormal, I will know its my bodies way of thanking me from releasing it from the subs. I owe my body that uch for all the abuse I did to the poor thing.

My suggestion is to flush the subs. When we have the remedy to feel instantly better sitting next to us, we tend to get trapped by our minds into feeling every ounce of shitty withdrawals. I dont have anything to make me feel better orto sleep here. If I did, I wouldnt have made it past the sweats. The worst part of withdrawals for me. They left day 3. My healing brain sent them packing! Every little improvement I feel EMPOWERS me to keep pushing.
I have NEVER made it 5 days and come hell or high water, I am going for 6, then 7, the 8......

YOU GOT THIS GIRL! BE WARRIOR STRONG! Forget what youre withdrawals are saying. Forge forward!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 5:25 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:24 am
Posts: 33
So do you think i messed up by taking one mg am i going to start all over again or should i start back on quitting tomorrow?


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 5:28 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 27, 2014 9:01 am
Posts: 641
Location: Toronto
Don't beat yourself up, you're still moving forward towards your goal, be proud of that.

I'd planned to jump off at 1 mg/day, but changed that up pretty quick once I figured out what the physical symptoms would be like.

I'm going to go down to .25 or even .125 mg/day before I even think about skipping days. It's not a race!

-- JI

kearsten wrote:
Thank you all for the praryers and support. I just want to be free of this once and for all. I guess ill wair until i start having wds again and take .75 idk how i need to do this to get through it. Maybe third times a charm. I want this so bad but i feel so helpless and weak.

_________________
"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 5:37 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2014 1:47 pm
Posts: 747
I doubt it. I honestly think those 12 days count for more than one slip! It is tough to fight through this fatigue for sure but honestly it helps to laugh about it. When I take my dogs out, I have to walk down 2 flights of stairs and I make "kathunk kathunk" sounds referencing my "iron suit" and giggle my ass off! Did I mention my emotions are crazy right now. Igo from crying at a damn commercial to laughing my head off over the stupidest things. Actually feels good to feel raw emotion. I have been "flat" for a long time.

I cant wait till I am 12 days in like you! Kudos for that
Long! So what, you had a small slip. Dont let it set you back. Even coming off a tiny sliver, some folks still feel the same as if they came off 2 mgs. Everyone is different and you have made it past the worst, dont let one slip send you back to the start line of this long ass marathon!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 12:06 am 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:24 am
Posts: 33
I have accepted my slip and i have let my feelings of failure abd anger go yes this is hard very very hard but i took advantage of my slip and got a lot accomplished clean house took kids to a water park i had chills but i laughed so much and enjoyed watching my children have fun. I understand what you mean by the raw emotions i have bern numbing myself for almost three years. I will laugh i will cry but most importantly i have felt happiness and love and admiration more than i have felt since i began self medicating. Im off the ativan. Im still not having major wds as i was before i took the one mg. I want me back i want those raw emotions. I am human and a loving caring person that got lost along the way. Im bringing myself back to life. Yes i felt like a failure but i am not i am human and im going to keep pushing. These past few weeks have been hard so hard but i made 12 days 12 days!!!!! Thats something to be proud of one day i will be able to say 12 months 12 years. Thank you all for your responses i have people in my lufe that truly love and care about me and know what im going through but theu dont understand it cant comprehend it and you all do and posting here and reading others posts has been therapeutic for me. God bless you all and thank you for your kind encouraging words. For anyone going through im here with you lets all get through this. I dont know if or when the major wds will start back but ill be as ready as i can be mentally. I wish i could work out im going to have to. I have to figure out something to get my heart rate going that wont further injure my knee. Kickboxing is my fav but its out of the question for now maybe swimming indoors in a heated pool will be ok. Once again God blesd im still here still holding on and holding my head up.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 4:37 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 03, 2014 11:09 am
Posts: 256
Hi Kearsten,
I think that is great that you have forgiven yourself! We moms (and addicts) sometimes are so busy caring for and forgiving others that we forget how vital it is to do the same for ourselves. I have also caught myself laughing a lot more with my children, and I can see this making them happier too.
I would also encourage you to keep trying until you find a way to get your heart rate up. If swimming works for you, great! I think you will definitely notice an improvement in your mood and symptoms once you start exercising regularly. It is really helping me stave off depression and manage the jumpy kicky feelings, plus I believe it is helping me get more sleep that I would otherwise. Do you belong to a gym, or can you join one? I've seen machines that are like bicycles for your arms that would probably get your heart rate up, plus I'm sure the staff would have suggestions for you. I've found lifting some weights feels good too, and stretching.
Keep posting!
rca


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:00 am 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:24 am
Posts: 33
Day 15 on my way to work dreading it still no major wd symptoms since i had my slip up just not sleeping very well and i havent had any sleeping trouble until now probably bc i quit the ativan but when i do sleep some crazy ass dreams come with it. The softest noise wakes me very aggravating. And i started my period so i know that had a lot to do with the depression and anger this past week. Bathroom issues only went away for one day but are now back no appetite i think the ativan was helping w that as well but i hear benzo wds are way worse than this main reason for stopping it i do not want or need another addiction. Boyfriend has been kind of distant this past week but im not going to let it bother me hes probably tired of seeing me like this and hearing ab it God bless you all.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:35 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2014 1:47 pm
Posts: 747
I hear ya on the sofest noise waking you and getting aggravated. I have 2 german shepherds who growl at night at the sounds they hear outside and they always seem to time it right when I am drifting off. They sleep on the floor on my side of the bed too. The friggin bastards! Lmao


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 1:00 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:24 am
Posts: 33
My dogs nails hitting the hard wood floor when shes walking through the house wakes me lol. I feel pretty good today. Im ready to find another better job something to look forward to after i get through all of this.....also we are moving into a bigger nicer home on three acres in the next couple of weeks. Everything seems to be mocing sp fast and i cant seem to catch up.....soon hopefully i will.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 44 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group