It is currently Sat Aug 19, 2017 9:39 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 24 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 5:06 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:56 pm
Posts: 8
I keep saying this is not my life. That somewhere in my 23 years I started watching my bad decisions through the haze of opiates, once they were first offered to me around 3 years ago.
After taking roxis/oxys, NOT prescribed, mind you, I felt that warmth, that blanketing I guess everyone here is actually very aware of. My family doesn't understand whatsoever.
Anyway, so after I started, I had no shame. Didn't even know what withdrawal was. I knew I felt like I wanted another $15 pill every 6 hours, however, and I knew I could get them. I had my best friend as my 'enabler', and she had been on them for ages.
So, once she told me what withdrawal was, I got immediately scared. I think that is why upon deciding to quit pills, I switched to Subs. Also NOT Rx, must admit, and also through the same best friend, enabler, and now my roommate. Bad choices.
The 'miracle drug'. NOT. No high, but you also can't really call yourself clean. Even though I tried. I kept trying, too, simply to convince myself of Suboxone being somehow superior to pills.
I took Suboxone for almost 2 years, until 7 days ago. Over the aforementioned 2 years, I have felt the withdrawal HARD if my roommate would be unable to acquire it for a couple days out of sync with our schedule. I knew it was a precarious situation, as the way I was getting them wasn't even my own, but I did it anyway. The story of being mind-numbed.
So finally, after loosing EVERYTHING. Rock bottom, it is delicately called. I lost my car, my freedom, my job(s)—all in quick succession. I became depressed even though I despise that word. All of this happened and I withdrew from life, from responsibility. And still, no one understood. My family just thinks of me as a delinquent, and I guess Ive taught them to treat me that way.
But NO MORE!
I took a 1mg-or-less sliver of an 8mg strip 7 days ago. The last of it. I never took full strips; the most I ever took was 4mg a day, then down to 1/4 or 1/8 of a strip.
But I stayed at 1-2mgs for months and months. And that is what I jumped from a week ago.. And began this hellish game of mind-over-body.
In addition to this forum being helpful, I found an article called 'The Not-So-Miracle Drug' and it was quite good. Taught me the scientific issues my body is facing. I learned that both my GI tract and Endocrine systems are freaakkkinngg out, and my body is trying to learn to regulate body temp again, and produce endorphins. Do I have that correct?
I am just HURTING. Not as much as Days 2-4, where my body was hothothot, sweating, then I would suddenly be a Popsicle.
It has been, since the beginning, like I am having a slow-motion, omnipresent seizure. Especially at night, but really all the time. My back/spine, neck, and shoulders clench-up and spasm and all I can do is take it.
Today, Day 7, I really don't want to jynx anything, but my muscle spasms have receeded about 50-75%, depending on the time of day.
It comes in massive waves, but the aching and extremes of hot& old are still here. I'm constantly aware of my ribcage, as weird as that sounds. I say aware because it seems to be the center of my chills and pain.
My new symptoms today included waking up for the 600th time to find it was 12pm, and I had complete just PAIN in my abdomen. I've been to the restroom twice in two hours, I'll leave it at that.
I cannot sleep more than 4 hours at a time and have a perma-cold feeling even under blankets. But the largest issue that I am having with sleeping is actually Getting to sleep. As I've read, I've realized the commonplaceness of such issues, but it makes them no easier.
I've tried everything. And I am a skinny girl. I know my eating habits can still change, but as far as sleep aids? I have had a Captain America–tolerance with drugs since I was 13 and first tried an upper.. It takes 3-4x the dose of most drugs for me to even feel it. Good recipe for an addict. But downers helped, or masked in retrospect, so I indulged. (Probably why I was on 160mg of oxis/day when I did them)
Anyway, Melatonin and random sleep supplements have never made me feel anything, as I've struggled w insomnia before. Tylenol/Acet same thing.
So, for sleep & for just any relief, in my FIGHT against SUBS, I've tried the following:
Bvitamins, ibuprofen, thc, Nyquil, xanax, Wine of Bordeaux varietals, oil of oregano, valerian root, and thc-infused maker's mark.
Yeah.
Also, I'm told to walk? The idea seems ludicrous. I have tried despite, but it really just hurts. I can hardly walk around my home, and cannot stop YAWNING.
Honesty is my new policy, so I put it all the table. Im only posting here because of how truthful and awesome this forum seems to be.
I'm doing this all on my own. I have no money and no doctor and no insurance, but I am doing it anyway. I can only hope that speaks to someone out there. It IS possible.
I apparently decided to write a novel so I'll desist, but serious thanks in advance to anyone w the tiniest bit of moral support or advice.
—•Valkyrja•—


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 6:13 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Hi Valkyrja,

Welcome to the forum!!

Have you tried Clonidine (not Klonopin) to ease your wd symptoms? Clonidine is probably the most widely prescribed med for helping ease opiate wd, it also has a sedative effect.

You talked about some of your symtpoms coming in waves, we call it the rollercoaster effect. The good news is, like a rollercoaster, the up's and down's level out as time goes by.

Being a frequent visitor to the bathroom is normal. Have you tried Imodium? Imodium is chemically almost identical to an opiate, but technically it's not, it doesn't cross the blood brain barrier....that's my understanding, anyway. Imodium does work great for eliminating the frequent flier miles you'll get for visiting the bathroom, though.

Walking is good advice because it will stimulate your natural opiate production. Any kind of exercise will be good for you, even though your mind and body are probably saying NOOOOO to the thought of exercise. Listen to your favorite music, take hot showers, watch funny movies.....all stimulate natural opiate production.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 6:58 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Fri Aug 09, 2013 1:02 pm
Posts: 80
Sleep... It was such a foreign thing to me, still is a lot of the time. And, I tapered to almost nothing. I think I have had a harder time with the sleep issue than most people would in my situation. But regardless it straight up SUCKS. The one thing we wish we could do while going through wd is the one thing we can't have. It will get better. It's hard to imagine, but it will. It's just such a long damned time for it to happen. Honestly, I think if your able to sleep for 4 hours at a time your not doing too bad. I give you props for deciding to do this at 23...? When I was 23 all I thought about was what would make me feel better at that time rather than thinking about the long run. And I paid for it being on subs for over 5 years. Hang in there! You will get over this crap eventually, and then move on. Change your life, your friends. Maybe find a new roommate? Do things that will help you stay clean once you have gotten through the hell your going through. Good luck!

_________________
Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 9:00 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:27 am
Posts: 1454
GOAM-

It's pretty normal for you to have sleep issues, despite tapering as low as you did. It'll even out but I'd also like to remind you that you're pregnant now, and one of the most common symptoms of early pregnancy is insomnia. It can actually happen all throughout pregnancy but it's widely reported in early pregnancy. So if it doesn't even out for you as fast as it should, it very well could be your hormones keeping you awake. I have several nights a week where I am just up at 2-3-4am for no reason. I either have to pee (20x a night) or I'm hungry and wide awake. None of these things help in the sleep department. :roll:

Hang in there!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 9:26 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Wed May 01, 2013 10:41 am
Posts: 29
Hello and welcome to the forum! These guys have pretty much everything covered. If you can get a prescription for clonidine that worked wonders for me. Its a blood pressure medication that tends to ease withdrawal symptoms.

Im 23 as well. I was on opiates since i was 20 years old. Started with percocets off the street then they got expensive and i switched to suboxone off the street and when i couldnt get the subs i resorted to snorting heroine!

Its all possible though if you keep a positive attitude about it and know it WILL get better! Annnnd your sleeping should start to regulate soon. Insomnia is the worst. Ive been clean since february 22nd and i feel pretty good.

Keep up the good work :)


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 9:37 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2013 9:21 am
Posts: 7
Hello there ive been on opiots for sixteen years and for the last five years ive been on methadone but nine months ago switched to subutex,
Im ten days in to detox off of all and really need someone who nos what im going through as my husband has no idea what so ever,
Its been bloody hard and I am kinda in a place now where I would do anything to feel better and not sick from these awful w'd the trouble is I feel so heavy like gravity has just got so much heavy and zero energy is the worst i thought wd were bad enough bit how I feel now is worse really dragging affect I am at the end of my minds sanity and soso badly am holding on as Ii keep going over in my mind that I want to get a pill to just take the edge off if I took a cocdamol would it set me back or not x Thanks for bearing with me **::-(


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 6:00 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More

Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:32 pm
Posts: 249
Valkyrja- Just hang in there, its almost over! Very soon, your life will be so much better! I know it is hard to appreciate that when you are sick, but trust me, it will. I am 25M, abused oxy for 3 years, then moved to subs for 4 years. I fluctuated in dose, but never took more than 4mg like you. I went to detox in June and they forced me to take 8mg the first day, 4mg the second day, 2mg the third day and then no more subs. I was in acute withdrawal for about 1 week, but had a temperature regulation and sleep problem for 2 weeks total. BUT, I did something stupid and took one 30mg roxi in the middle of my withdrawal to "take a break" from the feeling. I think that prolonged my issues. From my countless experiences of going through sub withdrawal, I can almost promise you will feel 90% in another week at most. BTW, even though it is very addictive, xanax helped me too. But I took it in a controlled setting so be careful. If you take too much over even 3 or 4 days, you can make the withdrawal worse and easily become dependent on that. Clonodine was my true life saver.

Terrineedshelp- PLEASE, do not take any opiate to take the edge off. I did that when I had minor withdrawal and it brought my sever WD symptoms right back. I even tested the waters 2 months after I got clean with a few oxys and after 2 days of very minor use, my withdrawals came back for atleast 3 days. This shows how ridiculously sensitive our brains are to opiates even when we have been clean for a decent amount of time. I am so scared of opiates after doing several "field tests" and coming back sick every time that I am truly done. I am taking naloxone and getting the vivitrol shot just to be safe though.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 7:55 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:56 pm
Posts: 8
THANK YOU to everyone who posted I was to personally respond to each of you, however that would be a lot of tedious quoting.
And to all my welcomers, thank you as well! This forum and the people on it come as a pleasant surprise.

Really quick @Terrinneedshelp — like livin said, don't do it, don't take an opiate to ease w/d from opiates. Withdrawal is partially the idiotic opiate-receptors in our bodies screaming for them to not have to wake up.
If you take even one bit, it'll take longer for your system to flush out. You know as I do, that everyone here who says we will feel incredible when this is all over, is correct.
Since you and I have pretty close timelines, you may ask my advice on anything. And while I'm sick as well, this entire process has already changed my life. It's already made me stronger and VERY aware of what mind-over-matter truly is. 16 years is a long time, but I have every faith you can re-train your body as I am.

Ok, right after I wrote my post, the rest of day 7 turned into a bad withdrawling day for me. Today is the first day I actually can say I slept for 7 hours last night (!) and today my symptoms are chills, mild sweating (which I never do so I know it's a symptom)
—So hot/cold and lethargy. I am dragging, like crazy, and my body wants to be constantly reclined/laying down. I have gone into the sun and briefly walked just because so many have recc'd it to me, and it did help.
I unfortunately lost so much of my independence and self, whilst being numb, that I am in a stale-mate with life. I have nothing to keep me busy, and I am now becoming aware of just how Bored I am. Detox + Boredom = Bad. So I have been trying to cope.

I really liked a couple things that were said:
"The one thing we want while withdrawling is the one thing we can't have" — Yes. So simple, my mind relentlessly complicates everything. So thank you.
Also, the person who commented on my being pregnant? I am not pregnant, but thank you for your well intended advice if I were.
To the person who gave me props on being 23? Thank You. I so easily could continue living in-the-now, which I do, but I've released the "immortality-complex" of teens & young adults. If any one thing had not happened in my brain I would have found a way to keep on going with my addiction. Anyway, thank you. I just want to be a neurosurgeon, and know residency is usually 7 years.. And I feel old like time to really begin college is passing me. But I know that is a society-bred concept and your post made me feel better. I guess I have just lived quite a lot in 23 years & 38 moves.

Moving on, thanks to the person/ people who recc'd Imodium and Clondine. I have no real way of acquiring either, but will keep my eye out. Any suggestions are certainly welcome. Also any more suggestions of just WHAT to do, maybe besides walk aimlessly around and lay here. I'm listening to my body when I need to sit down/not pushing myself—quite the opposite I guess.
Lastly, yes, I need to change the people in my life—person. Overbearing, controlling, yelling, enabling roommate = gone. And I'm most likely going to move (again) as the opportunity for a fresh start in my actual Adult Life, has been recently presented.
As always, thank you in advance for anything said to make myself or anyone else posting on this feed to just feel better, even for a minute. Totally worth it.
—•Valkyrja•—


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:13 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Fri Aug 09, 2013 1:02 pm
Posts: 80
Oh she was talking to me, I'm the pregnant one lol. Well actually the tiny the poster is preggo too. I was complaining about not sleeping well and it's been over 30 days for me.

_________________
Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't.


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:32 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More

Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:32 pm
Posts: 249
Valkyrja- You are not at all too old to pursue medicine. I am 25 and just started my first year of medical school. It has been an insane 2 months as you can imagine, getting clean and starting a medical education. In fact, I did my medical school interview over skype when I was in rehab! They did not know that was where I was of course. Your dreams and hopes are what will keep you going and help you stay sober. School has been a huge motivator for me to really work hard at sobriety. Hope for the future is very important.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 9:03 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:27 am
Posts: 1454
Valkyrja!!

Yes, apologize, was replying to Girl on a Mission's post just as I was leaving work last night. Meant to comment on your post as well but have been home today not feeling too hot. I think the fact that you're doing all this now is great. At 23, I had my first (and 2nd) attempt to get on Suboxone, and was hoping to make changes to my life, but it didn't stick. Wish I could go back and do it a bit different :)

Keep up the good work, and continue to acknoledge and work on recovery, even after the Suboxone DT passes. Addiction is a stage 5 clinger. A total creeper :)

As for sleep, I know someone already mentioned music, but to be more specific, I relied on my iPod at night, to help me fall asleep. I used it for the first 3-4 months after quitting Suboxone. I would play the most mellow/ sleepy music I had, and it worked really well for me. I would wake up in the middle of the night with my ear phones still in. I'd toss them aside, and just keep sleeping. I know it's sounds silly, or corny, or too easy of a fix but it really did work wonders for me. If I didn't have my music I'd have a really hard time sleeping.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:00 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:56 pm
Posts: 8
Girl on a mission wrote:
Oh she was talking to me, I'm the pregnant one lol. Well actually the tiny the poster is preggo too. I was complaining about not sleeping well and it's been over 30 days for me.


Oh! Ok that makes sense-apologies and congratulations on 30 days! I'm personally not a fan of 12 step programs any longer, albeit I know what a big accomplishment that is.
Also, let me just mention that my serious admiration goes out to you for being pregnant, and going trough this. I've experienced both now, and to deal at the same time? Props/kudos, to you, Superwoman
—•Valkyrja•—


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:07 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:56 pm
Posts: 8
l i v i n wrote:
Valkyrja- You are not at all too old to pursue medicine. I am 25 and just started my first year of medical school. It has been an insane 2 months as you can imagine, getting clean and starting a medical education.…


livin! That is so legit! Wow. And thank you. While I've derailed from my 4.0 high school-self (despite 4 schools), I have never lost sight of my—well, NEED, to further my education. That is, until I woke up, and realized my "time off" had gone so off course- lets say it has just made for some self-loathing I was masking with opiates. So your situation resonated. I will try and make that my driving force again, as you recc'd.
—•Valkyrja•—


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:21 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:56 pm
Posts: 8
@tinydancer
It's fine, no apology necessary. I tried that, with my phone/ playing music! Ha, maybe it is quirky, but I definitely do it. Maybe I didn't put mellow enough songs fully on the playlist in question, though. And the night I tried was the worst so far. So I'll retry.
Thank you for your advice it's all awesome. How many days has it been for you?
—•Valkyrja•—


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:47 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:27 am
Posts: 1454
For me it had to be very mellow music, music that I normally wouldn't listen to during the day. I used music like Enya, Tori Amos, Sade, Portishead.. I even would put on Patsy Cline which was a favorite when I was really little. After my mom died when I was 3, I would have nightmares and had a hard time sleeping by myself. My Dad started playing patsy cline in my room and it became a thing I relied on to fall asleep.. for years. So when I had trouble sleeping during w/d.. I remembered good old patsy. :) Music may not work as well for everyone, but it's worth another try. Also make sure the volume isn't too high that its distracting.

I'm almost 14 months off Suboxone. I just stick around for the support, company and to offer support where I can.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:29 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:56 pm
Posts: 8
tinydancer wrote:
For me it had to be very mellow music, music that I normally wouldn't listen to during the day. I used music like Enya, Tori Amos, Sade, Portishead..….


Wow, 14 months—thank you for you aforementioned "sticking around". Dare I ask when the CHILLS stop? ugh.

I mentioned on here my interest in neuromedicine, and while my main focus will be Alzheimer's, I very much believe opiate-based withdrawal is something I will clinically trial. It is just absolutely insane the magnanimous amount of accounts, stories, drugs-to-help, etc. Millions.
And obv it currently has my nigh-undivided attention. But I do believe I'll stick around too.
Coincidentally, I did the same thing, regarding music from my being younger—it was one of the things I hastly did whilst trying to sleep but not sleeping, the night I tried. Glad I'm not the only one. Definitely trying music tonight, and thx for reminding me about Enya
—•Valkyrja•—


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:49 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2013 9:21 am
Posts: 7
Thanks for your comments I have not taken anything but thats not to say thay my brain keeps telling me to but im not giving in because wd symptoms are what I do not want to go through anymore than I have already. . Omg they were something out of this world but like I said before I finding it so hard to cope with the heavy arse dragging feeling honest its like im 100 stone and just cant pyshicly carry my own weight and im 9 stone ffs, never expected anything like this still have rls and arms back still a little uncomfortable when will it end I actually feel like im 90 as breath heavy when I move my horrible doc wont give me shit because surprise surprise thinks im just a junkie and am just trying to get anything I can well thats not the case I just need a cruch to lean on really sorry for going on at the end of my mind.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:06 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Fri Aug 09, 2013 1:02 pm
Posts: 80
TheValkyrja wrote:
Girl on a mission wrote:
Oh she was talking to me, I'm the pregnant one lol. Well actually the tiny the poster is preggo too. I was complaining about not sleeping well and it's been over 30 days for me.


Oh! Ok that makes sense-apologies and congratulations on 30 days! I'm personally not a fan of 12 step programs any longer, albeit I know what a big accomplishment that is.
Also, let me just mention that my serious admiration goes out to you for being pregnant, and going trough this. I've experienced both now, and to deal at the same time? Props/kudos, to you, Superwoman
—•Valkyrja•—



Ohhhh your funny. Trust me I am definitely not in a 12 step program. I think once your over the wd and feeling better you can't help but to count days. I am still pretty proud of myself and look at each day as an accomplishment as long as I didn't take an opiate. I don't know maybe I will lose track eventually but my last day, (the date I made the decision to stop) will stick in my head for a lifetime I'm sure.

And I am sooo far from anything "superwoman" actually I'm really quite the opposite. I tapered my dose lower and lower in the hopes to not feel anything when I quit. I am so freaking SCARED of wd that I would do anything to get around them. Unfortunately tapering is the only way, so I did. I didn't get out of this complelty unscathed, but pretty close. Thankfully nothing close to the sounds of what you 1 milligram and up jumpers go through. I got that shit looooooow.

And I just found out I am pregnant. Which I'm very happy about since it was main reason for doing this. I don't think I could have handled even the little wd I had and any early pregnancy symptoms together. So I am far far from superwoman. Just a girl who wants a healthy life and family. Painlessly.

In fact my friend, you sound like superwoman yourself. Cold turkey, higher dose, a crazy enabler room mate?? I would have been screwed if I lived with someone like that. It must take some true discipline to not give in to it.

Keep up the good work, you should start feeling better soon. Sloooooowly, but surely :)

_________________
Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Sep 26, 2013 3:48 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Valkyrja, you mentioned you can't get Imodium? Imodium is on the shelves of any drug store around. Unless you're not in the U.S. or Canada?

Terrineedshelp, the extreme fatigue and lethargy can hang around for a while. IMO, it's the brain trying to fire up our natural opiate production center that causes that issue. For so long, we've depended on outside opiates that our natural opiate production stopped. It would be like not using your arm for a year, then all of a sudden trying to use that arm again. That arm would be atrophied, weak and almost useless for a good while. Try doing things that stimulate your natural opiate production. Listen to your favorite music, watch funny TV shows, hot baths or showers are good, but exercise is usually the best thing. It's probably a little early in your wd to be exercising vigorously, but it will eventually help when you can do it.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2013 4:57 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2013 3:56 pm
Posts: 8
Romeo wrote:
Valkyrja, you mentioned you can't get Imodium? Imodium is on the shelves of any drug store around. Unless you're not in the U.S. or Canada….


Oh really? Well I will most definitely look, then, thank you.
& Terrinneedshelp how are you doing today?!
Update time —
So I feel like I have truly hit that bend where there is only way better to go from here.
I realized something yesterday, actually. I know I still live with my enabler and I decided to branch back out the smallest bit, and spent the day with a different friend. It was like a whole different world. I drank one Newcastle and felt immediately just, better. Clean house, not to mention gorgeous, and just a different atmosphere. Just clean.
My realization is that my own home has some sort of negative effect on me, now that I'm waking up. I dislike everything about it, and I more than plan to heed the advice of changing my crew, so to speak. I do not belong where I am and obviously suppressed emotion is just continuing to pour out of me.
Also, leaving the house in general? Best choice I've made in this so far.
Honestly, my own apartment was nice when I arrived, but between it being carpeted, and my roommate refusing to care if smoke gets in the house whilst smoking by the doors, it just smells really smoky.
And I am no longer completely numbed by Suboxone!!, so I can SMELL and SEE. Which is quite awesome.

As far as symptoms, I still have the hot/cold flashes, but they've lessened considerably in intensity. I slept for the first time for real all night like a rock. Rather than sleeping but tossing around and waking up.
On that note, waking up has proved difficult. I feel the majority of my symptoms at that point and late evenings. I really never swear, and going through 4 tshirts because I cannot stand armpit sweat is getting on my nerves.

This experience has changed so much for me and it just began. I am so grateful for everyone's continued support, I am completely serious in that it is what got me through that insane part. I'm nowhere near the clear though, just positive suddenly. Thanks again

—•Valkyrja•—


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 24 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group