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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:22 pm 
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So, this is my first posting but I have been reading others posts for months. I have been planning my escape from the daily sub for a while, even though it has been nothing but a positive thing in my life.

Some background.

I have been on Sub for close to 5 years, most of the time on 5-6 mg steady, with no outside opiates. I lost my Kaiser a while back and have been tapering for about 8 months, got down to below 1mg for about a good month.

So I have had a serious amount of anxiety about finally stopping. The weird thing is I had JUST ENOUGH to dose until the very last day of work before a 3 week break.

So as I sit here I am about 70 hours free of suboxone, and honestly today is easier than yesterday. Yesterday was pretty rough, but nothing compared to a full agonist, and from what I have read today was when it was supposed to start getting worse, but I actually feel a little better today than I did yesterday. I am super nervous that the W/D has not even started yet. Could this be as bas as its gonna get? I have a mild feeling of the horrible opiate w/d most of the day, I yawn like crazy and get the shivers occasionally, but its surprisingly mild. The weirdest part is that I cry like a woman (not that there is anything wrong with that) when I am watching stupid crap on TV. I guess my emotions where suppressed for the last few years and now they all want out, I do remember this from the last time I kicked dope years ago.

I have been taking clonadine which does help, and I have been forcing myself to exercise as much as I can each day so far and drinking a ton of water. So far I have had an appetite and I have been able to sleep a decent amount each night, with the help of NyQuil. I do wake up a few times in the middle of the night and I have been sweating like a pig all night.

Anyway, any input would be great, I will keep posting as my time progresses and let everyone know whats going on.. These helped me a lot as I was planning my taper and jump in the past. It is confusing how each persons reaction to

Basically does anyone think that I am already on the mend, or that the storm has not hit yet?

Thanks


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:55 pm 
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Hi kinevol and welcome to the forum. I'm glad after lurking for awhile you decided to join and post.

What mg/mcg did you jump from? It's entirely possible that you tapered just right and you're at the worst of it. POSSIBLE. I say that because you stopped on a very low dose, under 1 mg, so you won't likely encounter the long half life, especially since you've been on that low dose for awhile. Yes, it's also possible that it could get a bit worse. But based on what you've said - the low dose you stopped from and were on for a month as well as the very slow taper you did - my opinion is that it probably won't get much worse than it is right now. But that's just my opinion.

Plus there's the fact that you're exercising a lot AND taking Clonidine. That really does make a difference.

Keep us posted.

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 Post subject: I hope your right
PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:49 pm 
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I hope your right hatmaker, about an hour after I posted I started to feel pretty funky again. It kind of comes and goes, I forced myself to go on a bike ride in the sun.It seemed to help some.

I just dont know what to expect, so I cannot plan anything for the next few days just in case.

Its been over 72 hours now and reasonably stable right now, just ate and that actually helped, when in the past while detoxing from dope, eating would make it worse.

Weird stuff suboxone.

I will keep posting to let the forum know what me experience is.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:04 pm 
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You might be out of the woods, and you might not. Too many times in the past I've said to myself when trying to taper "Hey, this ain't so bad. I think I might make it!' only to see the symptoms come on. But I'm not a physician. I'll tell you this, though: I sure hope you do it, pal. I'm so rooting for you.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:55 am 
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Hey kinevol,

Because you tapered to a low dose, I don't think your wd will be bad, but I also don't think you're out of the woods yet. Try not to psych yourself out about any whopper wd symptoms that may be lurking around the corner, I really don't think you're gonna get slammed with them.

You're 3 days off of Suboxone, you would definetly be feeling wd by now. I'm gonna say that the symptoms your experiencing right now are about all you're gonna get. They may get a little worse, but again, I really don't think the carpet is going to be pulled out from under you.

Stay strong, stay active and try not to get into your head with this wd stuff.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 1:25 am 
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Thanks everyone, God I hope your all right. If this is as bad as it gets I will live ( as long as it does not last for weeks or months) . Just reading your responses helps... even if they turn out to be wrong, still helps.

The symptoms do come and go, they get a little worse late in the day and at night.

I do have two people that I know who have done this and they didnt have any symptoms for 5-7 days, so it makes me a little nervous.

I am supposed to go on a family camping trip in 4 days, so we will see how I feel.

I look forward to going to sleep, because I know that when I wake up I am 8 hours closer to feeling good again.

Thanks for the responses everyone.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 2:38 pm 
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So I slept pretty good last night with the help of clonidine, NyQuil and Valerian tea. I woke up in a pretty good physical state, but pretty blah and a little depressed. Honestly I would say I even feel less withdrawal today than yesterday, but my w/d got worse as the day went on yesterday so I dont want to speak too soon.

I have managed to do a reasonable bike ride each day, its not fun but I think its helping. I am amazed that I have been able to sleep pretty good so far, again not what I expected.

I have heard that the length of the w/d is the hard part, and I could see this getting old if it lingers on for much longer... by the way whats with the sneezing?

I was on Sub for 5 years almost to the day! anyone out there thinking of jumping I would say a crazy slow taper to as low as you can for as long as you can and then clonidine, exercise and NyQuil. Maybe it has not hit yet and maybe I am just lucky but so far its been very bearable, not FUN, but bearable.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 3:15 pm 
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I would guess that the people who said WD didn't begin for 5-7 days were on a much higher dose, and had a lot built up in their system, so it took a while for their blood level to get low enough to go into WD. With you being on 1mg or less for a while, WD would start pretty much right away because bupe acts like a short acting opiate at low doses. So I would be confident in saying that the worst of it is probably over for you. You might still feel crappy for a bit, but I wouldn't anticipate any major WDs yet to come.
Good luck,
Lilly


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 4:29 pm 
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The sneezing is completely normal when coming off of Suboxone, I don't know why in the heck it happens, but it seems to happen to a LOT of us.

You're right about Suboxone wd being on the long side, but you should notice pretty steady improvement in a few days or so. The improvements might not be huge, but they should be noticeable.

You're actually doing fantastic, keep after it!!!

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 3:01 am 
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So I am about to go to bed at the end of day 4 and today was about 30% better than yesterday, so my only assumption is that I should start feeling better each day going forward.

I went on a REALLY hard and long bike ride to a meeting and at some points when it quit hurting, I actually had moments of feeling really good.

There are waves of sick, but they only last for a short time.

I did notice today that the clonidine was making me feel funky-er. so I have not had any today and still seem OK>

I feel really blessed that this is as bad as its been, don't get me wrong I don't want to feel like this for a long time, but its been much more bearable than I had anticipated. Stupid alcoholic future tripping.

ANYWAY I will let everyone know in the next few days what happen.

Thanks for everyones input.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 11:56 am 
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The thing that always gets to me with bupe w/ds is not the intensity, but the lingering. The fact that after a few days you sort of stop getting better. Each and every morning, you expect to feel better than the day before, but you wake up exactly like you did the previous day, and you know you've got another long day ahead of you. For me this always lasted for around two weeks, after which I would SLOWLY start getting better. Mind you, this is always with jumping at 1mg, never below.

ymmv so I hope you do get better!


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 2:11 pm 
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I think the eating, working out and the clonidine are helping you alot.... keeping my fingers crossed for ya...


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:11 am 
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Holy chit man... TODAY SUCKED, I spoke too soon. Last night I felt the best when I went to bed, then I had the worst nights sleep and woke up sick as I have been so far. Honestly still very mild compared to say a full agonist, but not fun.

I had the first experience of the funky stomach when I woke up and I magically found some imodium that I did not know we had and my god that helped almost instantly, thank you QVC ( and or god).

I managed to make myself get out into the sun and do a hard 20 miles on my bike, honestly its been the only times during this thing that I have felt good. I feel compelled to keep peddling, it keeps my mind out of the crap.

I appreciate everyone's input, I honestly hate the thought of this lasting too much longer. I do have to be thankful that it has not been as bad as I expected...not fun but not the horrible hell that I had anticipated.

Thanks guys. more to , lets hope tomorrow is better.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 10:05 am 
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Hang in there, you're doing TERRIFIC! Really, you are. Sometimes sub w/d go up and down, that's normal. But you're able to be up and about and like you said, it's nothing compared to full agonist w/d. And I'm very sure that the heavy duty exercising you're doing daily is making a huge difference, so try to keep that up. Honestly, you're doing great. :)

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:00 pm 
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I hope I am not boring everyone, but reading these diaries helped me a lot when I was planning to jump, so I told myself I would do it. So far day six has been pretty good, much better than yesterday, I hope the dips are over.

Now I get everyone else who talked about the problem with subs being the length not the depth, its not horrible but it is getting old. Back in my using days, I would be more or less out of the woods by now with shorter acting opioids.

If I where do give anyone advise based on my experience so far would be,

1- if possible take time off- I cant IMAGINE going to work until today, and even that is not a good thought

2- Get as low a dose as possible over a VERY long period and stay at the jump dose for a while before jumping

3- make the jump not in the winter, its been so nice here since I have been in WD, and I have been able to go out and do stuff, I think if I tried to do this in the winter I may kill myself.

4- MAKE YOURSELF EXERCISE as much as possible and as hard as possible, as soon as I stop riding my bike I feel like shit.

5- take every possible "comfort med" you can get your hands on for me Clonidine, NyQuil, ibuprofen and Imodium have made a big difference. I am mostly off of everything except 1 Clonidine and a little NyQuil just at night.

6- talk about your process to people- I am in recovery so I get to talk to all my ex junkie buddies about how this sucks and they know what I am talking about.

7- Dont let your brain punk you into doing more dope ( of any kind ) to make you "feel better", I came really close to trying to get " a couple " pills to "help with the symptoms" and or some Kratom, both would have been a big step backwards, I cannot start down that path I have come too far.


Anyway, I hope my experience helps someone someday.

I will be camping with the family 4 days, I will update my diary when I get back hopefully I will be mostly done with this shit

If nothing else I can read this if I ever think about getting loaded and hopefully it will remind me of the cost.

Thanks everyone, this forum helps people, it helped me for sure.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:12 pm 
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Oh kinevol, silly, you're not boring us. Not at all. And I'm happy to hear you're doing better. I'm telling you, I've read a LOT of these taper/jumping off threads and you really are doing GREAT.

The only thing I'd disagree with is the taking time off work thing. I only say that because if it's at all possible, working would probably be best for the person. They will be busy, active, and very distracted. Before they know it, the day's over. But if one doesn't have a thing to do all day long, they have trouble distracting themselves from their symptoms and must work really hard to keep themselves occupied. Again, I've read a lot of these stories and the ones who were home seemed to have the hardest time. It was like they were waiting and watching the clock for the day to go by. The people who worked seemed to get through it much better.

Now that said, of course everyone is different and I certainly cannot say what's best for any one person.

Keep up the good work and HAVE FUN CAMPING. Just be on vacation with your family and try to forget about all this if at all possible. You know the drill by now, keep busy and stay active. Again, have fun! See you when you return. :)

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 10:47 pm 
Yay, you are doing great! Have fun camping, this will soon be behind you! Take GOOD care!

Robin


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 10:33 am 
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wow sorry it got worse for you but you seem to be hanging tough

funny you should mention nyquil because I kept trying to trick my mind into thinking i had the flu instead of wd and I would take nyquil and dayquil and it really did help


Hang in there your gonna DO THIS!!

LISA


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 3:11 pm 
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Kinevol,

I love that list!! Thanks for taking the time to share it with us.

I think your vacation is going to do you a lot of good!!

Do you mind if I ask what plans you have to remain off of opiates? Are you considering any kind of therapy or counseling? Maybe SMART recovery or NA or AA? The reason I ask is because I had no solid recovery plan in place and ended up slipping up a couple of times. It's easy to do when you try to recover on your own. Just some food for thought.

Keep hanging in there.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 2:26 pm 
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I also stopped at 1mg.

Took 0.1mg clonidine every 4 hours for the first 5 days. Took A LOT of walks. The first few days were the worst. I think I spend hour and hours in the tub cuz I was so cold and restless. Also lots of weakness. I couldn't raise my arms or legs easily. I couldn't lay down or be up, it was frustrating.

I'm 14 days clean off sub and I feel great. I was on stuff for the last 3-4 years, be it dope, methadone, sub and this morning I was so thankful that I don't have w/d anymore in the am. I feel like other people feel. Just human.

Music sounds so good. I haven't listened to music in those years of being on something.

Some people can function pretty normally on sub but not me. I was a zombie. Just wanted to sit on the computer all day. Didn't want to take care of my kid, my husband did all that with my mom.

And now I actually have feelings. I am getting my creativity back. I always did a lot of art and worked hard at everything. When I started opiates I stopped all that. I have lots of education and had really good jobs, all was lost due to opiates.

I am just thankful that I still have my family. I think my husband still loves me, he is the best.

So to those who are afraid to get off sub, yes its hard in the beginning, the first few days you will be weak, restless, cold, just feeling shitty, but it will pass and one day you will wake up and feel great. Your smell will come back, music will sound great, you won't feel caged in because you have to take a pill everyday.

But you have to be ready to stop and you won't know if you are ready until you stop.


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