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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:35 pm 
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romeo thanks for helping kinevol". i read some of your article it may'd me eat a fresh apple :lol:.
i;m not tapering any time soon in witch you know! i'm still drinking a lot of coffee without the sugar. i hope i'm not butting in to kinevols tapper thread? but why do AA-NA always say to eat sweets? is it some thing to do with cravings? ziggy .if you were doing so great without opiates? what put you on them in the first place.was it do to pain? kinevol". i'm not sure if you are on any meds? but i take (nuvigil) and it's not a med that get you high or anything like that" but it sure keeps me awake and up and going for work!! it's not a benzo.i just think that NUVIGIL should be in the CLONIDINE package couse they both work well together. if your down in the slumps from PAWS? NUVIGIL


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:34 am 
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Kinevol,

Thanks for the laugh, you said, "Romeo you suck!" and I just about spit my coffee out!! LOL!!!

Johnboy, I'm glad you ate a fresh apple!! Did you chase that apple with a bag of potato chips?? :D

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:11 am 
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kinevol'. your strong and give hope!
romeo ". you also give me hope! no not chips". a half box of of ringdings :roll:


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:24 am 
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kinevol, I swear you will feel better. My friend jumped at 1 mg, which I kinda thought was crazy. She 'did not believe in PAWS'. She thought it was a bunch of hocus pocus bull crap. Then, guess what? She was weeks and weeks from jumping and would say to me, "I cannot believe it. I feel like I'm wearing that lead suit. I've got diarrhea. I'm so exhausted and don't want to do anything. I'm getting sick." She finally accepted she had PAWS. She jumped in March, though, so now she's through it. She even stopped her antidepressant.

PAWS is a waiting game. I'm really nervous about the PAWS thing. Well, I'm scared and then I feel like "Screw that! I will fight that bastard! I will work out and take vitamins!" LOL! We just have to only deal with the day right in front of us. Thinking of all the other days is overwhelming and worrying about them is pointless.

I don't crave opiates, so am I going to crave Suboxone? I'm glad I flushed it!!!

Please don't give up. You have to think through where your relapse would get you. Assuming you didn't OD, you'd be set so far back and mentally, how do you think you could come back from that? When those cravings happen, think them through to the end. That worked for me with drinking, and now my mind just goes from 'drinking' to 'horrible things will happen'.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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 Post subject: week 7 - grinding along
PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 8:43 pm 
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Thanks everyone for all the comments, I love to read those this forum helps keep me sane. I feel guilty about just wanking about my kick and my issues and not having time to input on others topics. So I have not posted for a week because I have been working, doing recovery and JUST PLAIN DEPRESSED AND LOW ENERGY.

My god, this is getting really old, come on Suboxone get on with it already. At this point I would almost take a heroin kick over this, just a few days of hell and be done with it. The two things that are killing me are the low energy, lethargy and the depression. The depression feels physical if that makes sense, I swear just being awake hurts. I have so little energy that I have so much shit I just have not been able to do, and then I get all wrapped up around that, but I am trying to be patient and focus on the important things like getting through this without picking up.

Tomorrow is week 7 and I would have thought I would be out of the woods by now... but noooo. I keep looking forward to that day when I realize something has given me pleasure again. Part of my lethargy is just the fact that nothing seems enjoyable, the things I used to like to do no longer seem appealing to me. Which is a problem, because most of them where my forms of exercise.

I just have to ride this out, I know, but it is not fun as a matter of fact it is very un-fun.

Oh well I guess everything has a price, and I am paying mine right now. I basically postponed my last kick for 5 years, and over that time I accrued interest.

I did want to respond to laddertipper about the cravings. When I was on sub, I had NO cravings until I got down really low, but lately I have been having crazy cravings and dope dreams. The funny thing is, I dont want to get high, I just want to get relief from how I feel now. If I start to feel better, I would think the cravings will fade. I hope so.
Good luck with your adventure.

Thanks again all,


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:00 pm 
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Good for you 7 weeks! That is a long haul. I can relate to the feelings of awesomeness, to shiftiness. I felt great after the initial wds. I have been off subs now for over 5 months. I believe I have the PAWS too. I think about getting some pills often, but then I play the rationalizing game with myself. I know one will lead to 10 more. If I go back on subs I will have to deal with getting off of that again. So in the end, stick it out. The brain needs to heal and get those natural feel good receptors back in shape. I have read about 4 addiction books so far, stories of people that struggle. I think that it helps to know you are not alone. Exercise is the best thing and vitamins. Take lots of B vitamins and try Sam-e that may help lift your spirits too.

Remember the easy way out is actually the road to hell. It is easy to say, hard to do. I am really proud of you though for pushing through. It is not easy. One thing for sure though is that music really sounds good being off of subs. After you have been off for awhile you may take it for granted, but just remind yourself how things used to be!


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 Post subject: finally a small reprieve
PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:39 pm 
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So finally some good news, I somehow have been feeling noticeably better since Tuesday morning (its Thursday night) and I dont know how I feel compared to "normal people" but I can tell you that compared to what I DID feel like, this is OK.

I think I could live like this, at least for a while, but I have been told it keeps getting better so I am optimistic.

Anyway SherGonnastop, its hard to read that you are 5 months in and still in PAWS, that is not encouraging. I had come REALLY close to picking up over the last two weeks because I felt like such shit. I know that its just starting the problem over, but I just could not stand being in my body/brain. Thanks for your encouragement.

Anyway, I thought I would check in with some good news for once. I will do so in a few days.

Thanks again for everyone's support and shared experiences.

Tom


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