It is currently Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:51 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 11:40 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 11:19 pm
Posts: 6
Hi Guys, thought it was time to come back here and hopefully give some support to people who are going through the initial hell of sub withdrawal. Have posted a few times already, asked advice and had some great support from you guys (thanks) which to be honest was a lifesaver as I didn't think I could do it without some sort of help.

I jumped off 4mg daily after basically 5 years on 8 mg + the odd relapse, so a pretty high dose. the first 2 months were probably the hardest, most lonely time of my life, having decided to take the offer by my family to house sit in there holiday home, so moved to another city by myself.

I work as a freelance web designer so thinking would stay here and just work from their home and kick this bloody opioid addiction once and for all without anybody having to know, especially my family who thought I kicked it 2 years ago..

I was thinking 1 - 2 weeks of pain and it would all be over, and I could get back to normal life, but it was 2 months of severe flu like symptoms, constant runs, no more then 2 hrs sleep a night, crazy anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and the worst by far, no energy, no motivation, and total isolation. Going to the shops for food once a week was like going to the moon, a total mission.

It was hell and reading people on this forum saying it takes up to a year to feel okay again really scared the shit out of me, 10 more months of that hell I just couldn't do, better just to give up and go back on subs or worse back to using.I couldn't concentrate at all and couldn't be bothered even working to support myself, web design is pretty tech and I honestly couldnt think clearly enough to even start again, it was that bad, I just lived on my CC and didnt care about anything anymore. scary stuff with no way out, Id basically given up on life ( no seritonan me thinks )

The breakthrough for me was so simple, one day, I just said F%^k it and went to the local gym, got a membership, and forced myself to go. Started off was embarrassing, I could hardly do anything, was so exhausted from anxiety and weak from doing nothing but laying on the couch all day for months in self pity mode that I was basically usless.

Now i have been weight training 5 days a week for over a month, and with that slowly comes the whole eating right, taking supplements, swimming, cycling, actually feeling happy sometimes vs misrable whcih leads to meeting new people again and so on. I have started working again full time and sleeping well agin ( thank god).

If I didnt make that decision to get basically addicted to exercise, I dont know if I would be in the good frame of mind as am in now, so maybe guys, as much as it sux, try it? go the lifestyle, its very rewarding getting into shape, and by far the most important thing, it must have kick started the serotonin, dopamine production again, which we all know is the reason we suffer so much in withdrawals (PAWS) in the long term.

I still do have a bit of anxiety, but now I wake up every morning and cant wait to get to the gym, rather then thinking about that strip of chemical that was the focus of my life for so long.

Also with weight training and conditioning Im eating super healthy food and taking vitamins / supplements, all of which sure help.

Not saying I still dont think about using / subs every day, and reminisce about the escapism of using, but that nightmare of coming off subs was so bad i will never ever go back, I just couldn't go through that hell again, and thats the HUGE thing guys, if its wasnt so bloody hard, then Im sure I would probably say "well I can get away with using one more time", as getting of subs isnt hard, but as it is then its just not worth it. So a positive from a negative maybe?

anyway now I feel that self respect for myself / body and starting to feel strong and vibrant again for the first time and years, why through that away...

Im still not 100% back to myself pre subs, eg motivation is still a stuggle re: the normal day to day stuff like cleaning and organising bills etc, but everything is getting better every week, its all a matter of time and excepting that you have to be kind to yourself and except that you will be lackluster for a long while, but it gets better all the time if you can go past the first few months...

So guys, I know its hard, and if you are at day 5 or something and scared, I wont lie, it wont be easy, but believe me, pay the piper, take the pain, it will be a constant reminder not to relapse, and life on the other side is so much better. 3 months is nothing, and if you find a passion, hopefully some sort of exercise, it will be that much easy.

BE STRONG, DON'T LET THAT BLOODY MEDICALLY CREATED / CORPORATE OWNED / LONG TERM UNTESTED / INSIDIOUS CHEMICAL CONTROL YOU!!!!

geez sounding like a reformed smoker hey, lol, but hey, its great, just so happy to be coming out the other side at last :)

best of luck people....


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:01 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2012 1:25 pm
Posts: 20
Mike40, hi & congrats on 100 days & for an awesome post!

I am at about 55 days Sub free, my length of Sub use & amounts was very close to yours. I have a thread somewhere in here.

Anyhow, it's so nice to hear about positive post Sub experiences. Usually we only see the posts of the first few days of a Sub kick, and those are icky.
I know it's rough in the beginning, but it does get better. And you are 100% spot on about the exercise. You have to have no opiates in your system, and then exercise. Only way besides taking more chemicals to rebuild those endorphins. Oh, and also a positive attitude is key! IMO.

Thanks again for posting after 100 days. I still think about Subs a lot. But I also tell myself, remember the kick? You want to put yourself through that again, WTF are you kidding?! And I am like, no way in hell. Keep on keeping on! :)
C


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 9:57 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Hey Mike,

Thanks for the update and the words of wisdom!!! I love it!!

I'm one of those who suffered for too long before I finally started lifting weights. Being the dumbass that I am, I waited until 18 months off of Suboxone before I hit the weights!!!

Anyway, I agree 100% with what you said. Getting into the weights not only helped my endorphins come back to life, but I'm eating better than I ever have, I drink water, water, water and I actually take better care of myself. It's an attitude shift, one I needed real bad.

Anyway, thanks so much for sharing your story and your success!!! I hope everyone reads it!

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:51 am 
inspirational :D

i been saying i gonna start mountain biking again soon and swimming , always tommorrow tho :wink:

gonna use this story to motivte myself to get out on my bike and ride. i fancy the gym, but no idea what im doing and would need a partner to motivte me to keep going....anyone in the SW of the UK wanna hook up ?????


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 10:02 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2012 1:27 am
Posts: 55
Awesome story and congrats!

Exercise is like the cure all to everything, I wish I could get motivated to start doing it! UGH.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 2:25 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Tue May 03, 2011 1:30 am
Posts: 49
u know whats sad? I've kicked sub numerous times.. each times had about 15 months , 6 months, 11 months sober..

and everytime relapsed and had to get back on them..


last year I've been on about 6mgs a day u know how terrified i am at this point i still have 2 years supply of sub left


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 2:33 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2012 10:17 pm
Posts: 21
Exercise does not help the receptors to fill the void that suboxone destroyed.

People relapse the most after suboxone then any other opiod within the last 5 years. Its those receptors which have been destroyed and which mostly likely cannot be healed for at least couple of years, but research has not gone that far yet as people relapse before then or up to then. They relapse because they are craving something to fill those receptors otherwise they feel they are not human and have no feelings, just like a dog looking for food or a mother naturally nurturing her baby.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: MovingOn and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group