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 Post subject: Re: Cravings
PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 7:00 am 
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Tonya Baldwin wrote:
I found myself in craving mode by taking care of someone in Hospice. OMG Morphine was on my mind non-stop. I am truly interested in knowing for sure if I were on a stable dose could I or would I truly not be affected by cravings when it is right there in front of my face?


That is so true! I remember when I used to visit hospitals that, for some reason, they'd bring on bad cravings. I don't think it was anything to do with there being drugs around. It was more maybe the fact I find them a bit depressing, all the sickness around, the reminders of my own mortality.

I haven't visited a hospital for some time though so can't say whether or not I still get those cravings.

Do cravings ever go away? By cravings I mean the psychological types, that "rising tension" and the "Should I? / No I can't" battle. I talked to many people who had 10+ years clean off MMT/Suboxone, and by all accounts cravings never completely disappeared from their lives. However, they do get a lot less intense and easier to handle. Instead of being that loud megaphone screaming in the head, it becomes more of a distant echo. (excuse the bad poetry). I was cleaning this girl's wound in rehab once with alcohol swabs, and the rehab worker who had 5+ years clean heroin addict was standing next to me. And he even admitted the smell of the swab brought on a feeling. I asked him about it after and he said his cravings have never completely go away, but they've gotten a lot easier to handle, and he's gotten better at dealing with them.

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Munchausen syndrome is a psychiatric factitious disorder wherein those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma to draw attention or sympathy to themselves. It is also sometimes known as hospital addiction syndrome or hospital hopper syndrome


I wouldn't worry too much about that. People with Munchausen would sooner run away than admit they have it in front of other people. Your motivation to go to the doctor wasn't for sympathy, it was to get drugs. That buzz from getting the script is the same as addicts who do an earn, or hustle, and make enough money for a hit. I think it comes from the anticipation knowing that script = getting high.

I got a buzz from doing some bad things to get money to score. Addiction had just reprogrammed me, associating pulling off a dishonest act with getting high. Addiction really screws up our values and priorities because of this stuff, and it can take some time to recover.


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 Post subject: Cravings
PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 10:44 am 
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Not to get off topic but I am a victim of Munchausen Syndrome in that my older sister as we were growing up would make me drink concoctions to doctor me up and make me better etc…I will not go into the grotesque and/or abuse too much, but nonetheless, she did terrible things just to make me better. When I really did get sick without her help she would make matters much worse to “save my life”. In my drug abuse OMG I can even begin to tell you what all went on a she was my biggest supplier and often just to get my drugs I had to play into her pretend doctor/patient games. WANNA HEAR SOMETHING REAL SCARY SHE IS A HOME HEALTH AID IN TODAYS WORLD AS SHE LOST HER RN LICENSE hmmmm wonder WHY? My family still believes she is a RN. She at 50 years old still lives in a false world, playing false roles, telling lies about anything and everything, doing God knows what to her patients. Anyways let me bring this back around. (although she is in active addiction herself) I always thought Munchausen Syndrome was when someone makes someone else sick in order to make that someone better, but I guess all these years I was unaware that you could victimize yourself by having Munchausen and practicing it on yourself (although she would never have made herself sick).
Back to the cravings, the doctor at my clinic has recently taken an interest in my case and finally he is trying to help me individually. I feel I have terrible cravings, not just triggered by sounds of medicine bottles etc….I have terrible Dreams of using and I contemplate using almost daily, There are several reasons beside methadone that plays a part in me not relapsing and I do implement extra measures in my recovery like NA and support groups at the clinic. I just fear the day that won’t be enough.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:04 pm 
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Munchausen by Proxy. ie the person with Munchausen is using you as a proxy to get sympathy.

There's also Munchausen by Internet - people that make up stuff online to get sympathy.


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 Post subject: tearjerk
PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:38 pm 
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tearjerk made me LMAO :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Cravings
PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:40 pm 
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Tonya Baldwin wrote:
Not to get off topic but I am a victim of Munchausen Syndrome in that my older sister as we were growing up would make me drink concoctions to doctor me up and make me better etc…I will not go into the grotesque and/or abuse too much, but nonetheless, she did terrible things just to make me better. When I really did get sick without her help she would make matters much worse to “save my life”. In my drug abuse OMG I can even begin to tell you what all went on a she was my biggest supplier and often just to get my drugs I had to play into her pretend doctor/patient games. WANNA HEAR SOMETHING REAL SCARY SHE IS A HOME HEALTH AID IN TODAYS WORLD AS SHE LOST HER RN LICENSE hmmmm wonder WHY? My family still believes she is a RN. She at 50 years old still lives in a false world, playing false roles, telling lies about anything and everything, doing God knows what to her patients. Anyways let me bring this back around. (although she is in active addiction herself) I always thought Munchausen Syndrome was when someone makes someone else sick in order to make that someone better, but I guess all these years I was unaware that you could victimize yourself by having Munchausen and practicing it on yourself (although she would never have made herself sick).
Back to the cravings, the doctor at my clinic has recently taken an interest in my case and finally he is trying to help me individually. I feel I have terrible cravings, not just triggered by sounds of medicine bottles etc….I have terrible Dreams of using and I contemplate using almost daily, There are several reasons beside methadone that plays a part in me not relapsing and I do implement extra measures in my recovery like NA and support groups at the clinic. I just fear the day that won’t be enough.

btw, what the hell does this shit mean anyway :lol:


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 12:40 pm 
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smithjm wrote:
I often wonder if my addiction also had anything to do with that Munchausen syndrome. I looked it up and this is what if found out about Munchausen

Munchausen syndrome is a psychiatric factitious disorder wherein those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma to draw attention or sympathy to themselves. It is also sometimes known as hospital addiction syndrome or hospital hopper syndrome

I don’t know if anyone else can relate to this or not but besides the HIGH that I would get from chasing my D.O.C. I got a rush from the whole getting one over the doc kind of thing. Like when I would get a script when there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. I kind of liked that I could do it, and then of course the payoff… my D.O.C.

So am I crazy, LOL or am I just being Machiavellian. Maybe a little of both.


I was responding back to the above quoted post where I guess we got off topic a bit. (and the subject became my sister which is another reason why I am under the nickname login instead of my name anymore Tonya Baldwin) Anyways I was led to believe by a therapist that my sister practices munchausen and on me for years I was not aware that a hospital hopper (which was me for years) was also considered munchausen which I now guess I can add to the long list of disorders I have myself. Sorry if I got off topic from the above quoted post and instead of posting about cravings I took a sentence out of his post and ran with it.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 1:12 pm 
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I was responding back to the above quoted post where I guess we got off topic a bit. (and the subject became my sister which is another reason why I am under the nickname login instead of my name anymore Tonya Baldwin) Anyways I was led to believe by a therapist that my sister practices munchausen and on me for years I was not aware that a hospital hopper (which was me for years) was also considered munchausen which I now guess I can add to the long list of disorders I have myself. Sorry if I got off topic from the above quoted post and instead of posting about cravings I took a sentence out of his post and ran with it.[/quote]

You do not need to apologize, often threads get off topic and it's perfectly fine to post whatever you want to share. I am sorry you were once again met with rudeness.


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 Post subject: apologizing
PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:00 pm 
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just hoping maybe I will get a break soo with the rudeness


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