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 Post subject: Cravings out of the blue
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 11:31 pm 
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I ran out of subs for 3 days as I had to move my appointment, I was able to finally get enough to get me thru till Tuesday. The withdrawals sucked, not as bad as coming off pills, thank God, but still sucked. Last night I dosed, within an hour started to feel normal again, but WOW. My 1 year anniversary is March 1. In the middle of the night I could not sleep, I was shaking, craving sugar and could not get my mind off of pills. The 3 days without, I thought about how 1 or 2 would help at least keep my from feeling like crap, but I resisted. So why in the middle of the night, safely back on sub did this happen, it was really strong. I keep thinking that it was being without and then getting back on, my addict mind playing tricks on me. Today has been better, I have been a little under the weather, just kinda blah. But on a side note, I quit my really good job on Wednesday morning. The owner of the company I worked for was awesome, his sister, our office manager however, is bat **** crazy, not to be mean, but sometimes the truth is.

I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest and see if any one else has had this happen and how you have dealt with it. Thanks for listening. And sorry I am a bit ADD and tend to get off track and ramble.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 11:40 pm 
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Addiction often doesn't make sense. But I've found that recovery milestones are often challenging times where cravings can rear their head up. There's something about the fear of renewing commitment to recovery that comes with a milestone that addicts don't like. 1 year was an especially hard milestone for me. It was a "wow I'm in here for the long haul" moment that rattled me a bit. In the end I relapsed at 13 months (this was a period without Subs) and it was a really hard relapse.

The thing is ... once you "break through" these periods of craving, it's almost like you reach a new level of recovery. I was getting these cravings at 3months, 6 months, 9months etc. Things get easier very quickly and you settle down. It's real character building stuff too. I've found in the past for me that the cravings build up over a few days or a couple of weeks, hit a peak, then if you hold onto your recovery, they disappear. Then the next big milestone comes, rinse and repeat.

Good luck let us know how you go.


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 Post subject: Hi Honeybun
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 11:55 pm 
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Your post came to my attention because you said "on & off". Well, I understand your cravings. I had surgery 3 x while on subs. Major surgery, amputation of my right leg, then they had to openn me up again & saw down the bone and then they opened it because of an infection. Anyway. those 3 times I had to go off subs. Surgery sucks but it was like a vacation for me(hate to say it but it's true). Since my dr. knows all about Subs, the pain meds I got were unreal. I won't even mention them. But, all has to end & I had to go back on subs each time. Talk about craving? Boy!!!. But then when I would be on the subs about 2 weeks, I was fine & forgot about the meds. Maybe that happened to you even if you didn't have opiates. Addiction is a crazy thing. The mind messes with you so much. I hope it doesn't happen to you again & you can stay on your subs and taper. Hang in there, sweetheart. Don't give in to those cravings. Just think of everything that happens when we use. Not just the good feeling but the problems that come with it. Take care, let me know how it's going.

Love, Queenie


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 12:36 am 
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Hi Honeybun,

I'm wondering if maybe you got yourself a little buzz on? When you took that first dose, after no sub for three days, did you go back to your usual amount? If so, it could be that you got a little high from it which in turn triggered that part of your brain.. woke it up so to speak. The craving sugar and not being able to sleep good is always an indicator of being high. It is also an indicator of being in WDs but since you had taken sub, I'm assuming it's the former.

I'll bet when you even out again, your cravings should go away. That's just my guess.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:59 pm 
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I think you were right about having to balance out again. I do feel better 4 days later. And I guess I wasn't completely honest and for that I am sorry. Last year on January 31, i had to put my grandmother in a nursing home. That same night leaving there I came upon an accident that had just happened, and sat on the ground next to a man, that was on a moped who had been hit by a car. I was on the ground next to him with 2 other people until the ambulance arrived (longest 5 minutes of my life). He lost his pulse as they arrived, they revived him as lifeline was in route, but lost him as the helicopter came into sight. Along with the head trauma i later found out that his femoral artery had been severed. (Sorry not a pleasant detail.) I think that was what pushed me into getting help. I went into rehab 2-29-13. I got out the following Wednesday, my grandma passed away Sunday. She woke up long enough to talk to me wednesday and never regained conciousness (sorry I cannot spell at all). This past Wednesday so close to my anniversary, I quit my job. You can only work with bat Sh*t crazy so long. There are all these stressors it was scaring me.

But I think alot of it had to do with restarting sub also. I think I was a little high so to say, and with everything else it was just a bump in the road. But I did NOT use. Thats the plus. I want to thank everyone for their replies, this is my therapy so to speak and this site is just what I need sometimes. But I always try to remember, that no matter how bad my life seems, someone else is having a harder time.

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