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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 1:58 am 
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Hey man. .. social anxiety is actually pretty common. I don't know one person who won't admit to feeling uncomfortable in at least some social situations. I had a lot of social anxiety. I still try to change my mood to be more outgoing socially, mostly with cigarettes. I still find it hard to not smoke at parties and stuff. What I loved about heroin as a teenager was that it made me feel cool and confident enough to talk to anywomen with ease. I remember the second time I used it (the first time I actually found a cap of heroin in its water balloon on a sidewalk) was before I was meeting a girl for... I guess you would call it a "date" though I wouldn't call it that back then...

I think our problem isn't so much that we have social anxiety. Our problem is that we think it's wrong for us to have social anxiety, that we're unhappy with ourselves as people being socially awkward, unhappy enough that we're willing to take drugs to change our character and become someone we really are not. A lot of people are just plain introverted, accept themselves as being introverted, and are quieter in social situations ... but because they're comfortable with it, they come across as secure in themselves, and even maybe as a kinda deep mysteriousness? Our problem is that we want to be someone else, that we look at the people who are outgoing and look at ourselves as less than, when really we are just different...

I mean, taking drugs is a pretty darn drastic measure to try and change one's self, so it indicates a fair bit of self-dissatisfaction. IMO there's a lot that can be said for self-acceptance in recovery, and being at ease with our own character.


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 11:34 pm 
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Tearj3rker, thanks for your response. I completely agree with just about everything you said. I too absolutely loved opiates for the reason how confident you feel and the easiness to talk to girls. It loosened me up and made me so much more talkative in all situations. It sucked when I was alone because I almost felt like I was wasting it to an extent because I just loved talking my ass off, although I knew I had absolutely no self-control to hold it without using it. It is for sure a drastic measure, like you said, to use drugs to change your personality but I practically became addicted to that just as much as the drug. It was great to be in social situations and just say whatever the hell was on my mind and didn't care (not like alcohol). It seemed to me that I was more enjoyable to be around because I’d say the craziest and funniest stuff, and that’s what I enjoyed about the drug so much that I miss. It is now a thing of the past that I am going to have to live without, but for the time being it is just learning the best tools and strategies to deal with these cravings for the time being.


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 11:47 pm 
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Fireman - think of it this way: you're the same man who said all those funny and crazy things and were so enjoyable to be around. The drugs only gave you a false sense of security or confidence to be the person you are underneath. Hell, that goes for all of you who had an underlying personality that came out only under the use of drugs. The way I see it, if you like that person, but think you needed the drugs to be that fun, confident, happy, sociable person, I don't think you do! You're just lacking a chemical shot of false confidence. You already know you can do it, because you've done it. (I'll bet if I said I gave you a placebo you'd be just as "fun" all on your own!)

Why not think of it that way instead? And strive to be the person you already know you can be?

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PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2012 3:23 am 
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The other thing about opioids is that, I think even more than alcohol, the person we THINK we are while we're on it is far from the reality...

I remember seeing a video of me stoned once ... and I remember thinking I was completely cohesive, fine, sober, 100% full faculties ... Then I watched the video. My face was so droopy and my words so slurred and slow... We can think we're the coolest kid at the party but in reality we got druggo written all over us.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 1:00 am 
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This is why many of us go to NA/AA meetings regularly. If it gives me anything, it is that constant reminder of what my life used to be! Seeing many newcomers and people that are just bs-ing their way through the program lol. That is just what works for me though! NA doesn't give me a whole lot because Suboxone takes away my desperation and the motivation to make that program my LIFE purpose, but it has given me many other GOOD things! Like a relationship with a higher power, less cravings, friendship, ect. So just keep on keeping on! You can do it!!!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:28 pm 
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@Fireman....I feel ya there bud. I LOVED talking with other people! Even about nothing at all. I quit when I just sat alone and talked to myself/tv. Sad.


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 Post subject: Fireman
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 9:56 pm 
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You are definitely not the only person to experience cravings. I still - regularly - experience cravings, some worse than others and at all different times and places. I think the longer you've been using the more associations you have with your old using memories and these things can be triggers.

It is important to address these cravings, however and I would let your Subox Doc know that you're experiencing them. Perhaps an increase in Suboxone is necessary; though, this is not always the right approach for everyone and considering different situations/scenarios. Just one option of many.

The important message I'm trying to convey, is that you're not alone in this and cravings, I think, unfortunately, are going to exist no matter what therapy you're on, MMT, Suboxone, ReVia, any of them you will continue, most likely, to experience cravings from time to time.

Another approach is to make a list of activities you find enjoyable or time-consuming or easily available that you can do in case a craving does surface, perhaps you're interested in reading, or writing, try these and other non-pharmacotherapy options before necessarily increasing your dose of Suboxone. Certainly address them with your physician, however.

Keep your head up and don't give in to the monkey on your back!



KeefSom


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 Post subject: I agree
PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 12:31 pm 
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I totally agree with what you're going through. I'm only 2 weeks clean & on Suboxone but I honestly crave the pills everyday all day. I had also heard this medication stops your cravings but I have to say that hasn't worked for me and it's really frustrating to imagine my life clean when I cannot stop thinking about taking a pill every now & then. :evil:


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 2:27 pm 
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Hi aprilfgi and welcome. May I ask, what dose you're on? It's possible that you might need a dose increase. Usually one's suboxone dose needs to be at a point where it addresses not only all withdrawals but all cravings as well. You might just need to bump it up a bit. Just my two cents. :)

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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