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 Post subject: Counselor
PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 10:25 am 
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This morning I go see my counselor for the first time. I'm alittle nervous about it but happy too. I think it will do mr good to beable to talk about things and not have to worry about them coming back to haunt me. I will post and let ya'll know how it goes praying we click and all is well.
Be Blessed :wink:
Mel

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 11:05 pm 
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So....How did it go? Did you click? Tell us, tell us....

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 8:40 am 
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Hey Hat, well yesterday was really not the best day so I held back on my reply. I woke up with a frog in my throat wanting to cry not feeling well at all. my daughter woke up with stomach virus needless to say uuhhh!!!! Not a great morning.
Anyway we dress and head for the meeting I called my 18 year old son to come pick up his little sister at the counselor office, I figured was not a place for her to be. Let me say last week i called to verify the time and make sure I had the correct info being it was left on a voice message on my phone a month ago. I show up and the lady says your appointment was at 9 the lady last week told me 10 so she said I have to go back Dec 6th. Really ticked me off but you know what you gonna do?
Wait another month
Mel :wink:

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 12:58 pm 
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Tuesday is my appointment really excited about this.the weird thing is I always said I would never see a counsler. I have a great family and we are close. The thing is I've always had trouble talking about my issues with anyone. I cry alone and seems like I want everyone to think i'm fine. I just hope I can feel comfortable letting things out with the couslor.
Mel

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 1:08 pm 
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Congrats to you on taking this step! It is scary at first to start therapy. Don't expect to feel comfortable with her/him or even have trust right away. That takes time and your therapist will know that. You'll probably just start out slow, talking about yourself and some history, just to get to know more about you. Baby steps. Any good therapist won't drop you into the deep end of the pool on your first visit. Hopefully you'll find one that's a good fit for you. I believe that's the most important thing - finding the right therapist for you.

Remember, you'll be afraid at first and want to back away, but try to give it a chance. It's SO worth it.

Good luck. :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:09 pm 
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Thank you Hat
It was good to hear that it's not so bad,silly how we pump ourselves up and come to find out it really was a breeze.
I feel pretty comfortable about it and I will just go with the flow and try to get everything I can out of it. I will be honest and do what I need to to move farward in all of this.
I will post my experience when I return
Mel :wink:

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 Post subject: Pain Management tomorrow
PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:26 pm 
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My first visit went very well,lots of questions I was in there over an hour and my next appointment is Dec 21st.
I'm so happy that I decided to do this for ME>> I never talk to much about my feeling so poor Susan (counslor) it will get dumped on her.
But Tomorrow I go see my pain Management Doctor, I've been putting it off canceling for 2 months now. I'm just ready to get it out and be honest. I maybe supprised and he writes subs. That would be ideal so I would not have to pay 2 doctors until I get my insurance. He my have some good imformation to give me.
I won't know if I don't go and find out HUH??? Honesty is the best policy and I need to move forward with all of this.
Excited,nervous but READY!!!!! I have a good feeling about this visit and I know it will turn out in my favor, it usually does.
Mel :wink:

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:33 am 
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Yay, you went! So do you think it was a good fit? Did you like her? Did it take you long to build up some comfort in talking to her?

I'm glad you followed through and continued success to you with it.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:10 pm 
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Thanks Hat!!! So far she seemed like a good match just alot of questions on the 21st she said it will be more talking and task on how to start fixing things. So I'm pleased
Now I'm leaving for the PM Dr and I'm excited to get his view on subs and sub treatment. So I'll soon now where he stands on my recoivery. I still need to have a pain dr to deal with all my issues. If he disagrees then i'll ask to be refered to another joint and bone dr.
Mel :wink:

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:55 pm 
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Well it is done and I was Totally shocked by his reaction. We sat there talking about how i've been doing and I said I have something I need to talk to you about.Told him I got on suboxone due to tolerance, he said who is prescribing you that I told him and he said ok I'll be back. Left the room and never came back, nurse walked in and she he is refering you to a surgeon.
I was freaked out,I started saying I made a mistake telling him!!!! And REALLY I wanted to just not say anything and get my script. :roll:
On the road home an hour drive I wanted to just cry. After thinking and catching my thoughts I'm glad, he can't help me anymore anyways all he does is write scripts. On the other hand it looks like surgery again for me :cry:
So it turned out NOTHING like I thought. I was excepting a conversation about my choice and what he thought about it. I guess I got it, he thinks nothing about it did not want any part of it.

Sad, how we are treated today I found out and it did not feel good. I need to just be proud of my choice and not let it bother me so much. Hopefully my next Dr will be more caring.
Mel :wink:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 7:45 am 
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So is this the pain doctor you used to get your meds from - the ones you got hooked on? And that was his reaction when you told him you went on suboxone because you were addicted?

Well, I guess I can try to understand his response. Maybe he was mortified and partially blamed himself and couldn't look you in the face? For all we know, you might get a phone call from him in a few weeks. (Shot in the dark.) I'm stunned at his unprofessionalism to just walk out of the room and not say another word to you though.

Hey, you tried, right? You handled it in an upfront manner like an adult. He's the one who walked away and refused to deal with it. Like you said, he can't help you anyway, he just writes scripts, right?

I'm proud of you for going to see him. It sounds like you held your head up high. Good on ya!

What kind of surgery will you need? (Or did I miss that in one of your posts above?)

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 9:54 am 
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Thank you Hat,
Yes, He WAS my Pain Management Dr. and I was very disappointed in his reaction,but there is nothing I can do about. He was an ass and I'm sure now that I made the choose to be on suboxone it will not be my last. I just have to stand on my decision and take the punch as they come.

I had a fusion that did not take and they said surgery which I was against thats why I ended up in PM. I will find my own surgeon he wanted to send me back to the surgeon that screwed me up.

You know Hat I was the better person I wish he would at least talked to me about it but I guess he is to busy writing scripts $186 for nothing not 3 minutes of his time.

Mel :wink:

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 Post subject: A Letter
PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:56 pm 
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Mel,

If it were me I would sit down and compose a letter describing exactly how he made me feel and how unprofessional his reaction was. It's doubtful he would respond but at least it would make you feel better. Plus, you get the last word!

Good luck finding a compassionate PM doctor and good surgeon.

You did great, he sucked.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 3:00 pm 
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Hi Rule
Good suggestion my husband said i should have told the nurse no i need to speak to the dr. he said he would be back and confront him.
mel :wink:

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 9:55 pm 
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I think this thread will be a good place for me to keep track of my progress in counseling. I had a meeting yesterday and it just amazed me by the few little things she had to say about me and the things that got lost in my addiction. You just forget about the person you were and still are you just forgot how to pull yourself together, and conqer the inter most precoius gifts that we have. I'm ready to strap up my boots and be the the wonderful,funny and happy person that I am. I have no reason to stay in my little bubble anymore. I;m excited and ready. 6 years was too long!!!!!!
Merry Christmas too all
Mel :wink:

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 12:43 pm 
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Decided to pull out all my crafts that have been in the pantry. I set up my craft table and sewing machine. Started making bows and paintings (no real good) but enjoy the hell out of it. I have spent hours and hours in my spare room surrounded with my fabric and paint and it feels good to be enjoying something again. My sub doctor advised me to get a hobby and so did my counslor, i would say that it has helped me alot.
The best part is I can share this with my daughter, she is 8 and she loves it. Teaching her to sew is fun and watching her talents come out.
mel :wink:

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2011 9:07 am 
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Congratulations Mel, you sound like you're making some nice progress and that's awesome to hear!!

You said, "You just forget about the person you were and still are you just forgot how to pull yourself together, and conqer the inter most precoius gifts that we have." and that really resonated with me......THANKS!!!!

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 12:28 pm 
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Thanks Romeo, I am for sure taking steps to move myself along in my recovery. I've also had a few set backs but I'm working through them and I am Overall very Proud of myself and whats is going on with my life.

I have even had orders for the hairbows I'm making and that feels good. Other people are liking my crafts LOL!!!!! So I can do what I enjoy and make a few bucks while doing it. Not bad or should I say make enough to pay for my material
Mel :wink:

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 1:53 pm 
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I'm sitting on pens and needles right now!!! I went to Er last week and the Doctor was Great!!!!! I was in heaven with him talking to me like I was a human being LOL!!!! I really was impressed!!!!!
Anyways he looked at me and asked if I had lupus he said I have the butterfly rash on my face and told me to see my family doctor to get tested. I have been going to her for around 5 years and when I told her she said yes It did look like it. So I had my bllod work taken yesterday and I will call Tuesday to find out. My uncle has it and it has really kicked his ass. So I ask that you all keep me in your Prayers and I will let ya'll know when I find out.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 7:18 am 
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yes meltalk". i like my new counsel'r . it seems this type of therapy today' is for one to love one self.


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