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PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 2:09 pm 
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I am soooo mad right now. I just got off the phone with the opiate addiction specialist OB's office who I was supposed to be referred to but who decided since I lived so far she'd just give the recommendations to my sub doc regarding me tapering off of sub. I called because I decided I wanted to see her and ask some questions. My sub doc just isn't qualified in obstetrics and I'd feel better seeing her and getting more details about tapering etc. Through talking with her nurse I found out that my idiot doctor could have gotten me subutex. I live in Canada where it's not normally prescribed and it's a process, but bottom line is I could have been switched!! These past 3 weeks I've been needlessly exposing my baby to the naloxone component in suboxone when he could have switched me right away when I found out I was pregnant. Instead me told me flat out it was NOT available in Canada which turns out to be false. I'm beyond mad right now. The OB is calling me herself shortly and I'm going to ask her to take me as a patient at least until I get off this stuff and then I'll go to my "normal" OB after I get through this ordeal.

Why the heck my sub doc simply assumed it wasn't available without bothering to actually look into it for me is beyond me. He is a MORON!! I'm hoping this OB will take me as a patient and I'd feel a lot better being under the care of someone who actually knows what she's talking about unlike my doc who doesn't have a frickin clue.

I'm at 2 mgs right now and will drop to 1 in a few more days. Depending how I feel at 1 (pretty crappy most likely) I'll probably just jump and get this over with. I'm sooo scared of the effects that being on suboxone may have had on my baby. I am just 7 weeks along and PRAYING that I can get through this and that the baby will be ok. I know there are risks with jumping but the specialist seems to think I'll be fine since I was already at a low dose of sub. I will feel much better when I'm off - I had the option of going on methadone but I'm not going to do that. Just my own feelings about it. I know it's not going to be easy. I will definitely have some rough days ahead but to be opiate free and not have to worry about NAS etc through my pregnancy will be worth it for me. Knowing other women have done it helps reassure me too. Valleygirl on here is a real inspiration to me. Of course I worry about the post wd depression, fatigue etc but I know with time it'll get better. I just want this to be over. I never had to deal with this with my first two kids because that was before I developed an opiate addiction. I want to get off sub and finally be able to relax a bit. Being on sub feels like a dark cloud hanging over me, especially now knowing I did not have to be on suboxone that I could have been switched to subutex if my doctor wasn't such an idiot. Sorry for the rant, I'm so upset about this right now. Like I didn't have enough to worry about! Although Suboxone is an amazing drug and helped me get off oxy, being pregnant on it I spend every hour of every day worrying like crazy. This is something I need to do for myself as well as the baby..just to get some peace of mind.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 2:32 pm 
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1 mg is way too high a dose to jump from, pregnant or not. But being that you are pregnant, it's most definitely way too high to jump from. Jumping at all while pregnant, especially in the first trimester, places the fetus at a high risk of miscarriage, and doing it from 1 mg, well, I can only imagine how much higher that risk will go (since the withdrawals will be worse).

Did you read any of Dr. Junig's blog posts about pregnancy, suboxone/subutex, and addiction? I fear you are going off sub for the wrong reasons and will already be risking relapse from that alone. And then you'll be risking miscarriage on top of that by quitting it at this time.

I'm sorry if this is coming off harsh, but I'm concerned about you as well as your pregnancy. Please do some research about how safe it is to remain on sub while pregnant and if you are still determined to come off it, please consider slowing your taper WAY, WAY DOWN. You need to make smaller drops and adjust to each drop before making another. The goal is to make small enough drops so that you barely feel it. You want you and the baby to feel next to nothing in the way of withdrawals. That will keep the baby the safest.

Good luck to you.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:21 pm 
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Thanks for your reply. While I appreciate your opinion regarding staying on sub, I am really motivated for a number of reasons to get off of it. Of course I agree with it being carefully and both of my doctors are closely monitoring me to make sure I don't get too sick while doing it. If I do get too sick we'll slow it down. The only reason why I thought to jump from 1 mg is if I'm already feeling bad at that dose why drag it out if it's not too unbearable? I have to let my body be the guide and drop my dose accordingly - or even go back up if a dose drop causes me too much distress.

I cannot handle the idea of a newborn suffering from wds. That plus the fear of taking a fairly new drug who's long term effects on babies isn't known yet is driving me to do this. I also worry about the effects sub might have on my developing baby right now. Suboxone is what I'm on as subutex isn't available to me. Also, I do not want to go through pregnancy with the stigma that comes with being an addict - let alone a pregnant addict. I have tried to cover all my bases. I have aftercare in place now, I have a lot of support and motivation to do this and the backing of two docs, one who's an OB who specializes in pregnant addicts. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm living in a state of mild wds and although it sucks, a few weeks from now when I go to my first "real" OB appt I will be able to say that I'm on nothing when the OB asks..and that in itself will be so worth this crap I'm going through now. That and having the peace of mind that I'm no longer ingesting a powerful opiate while pregnant. Every woman has to do what she feels is right (under medical care of course) and for me the right thing is to get off sub. I cannot enjoy my pregnancy until I do. That's just the way I am. I could really use SUPPORT in getting off, not people trying to scare me away from doing what I think is right for me and my baby. NAS is a very real risk with women who stay on sub or any opiate during pregnancy and it's just not something I'm willing to risk. To have a baby in wds, needing to be in hospital for weeks being weaned off is a nightmare to me. If I can do this safely I will not have to worry about that at all. Valleygirl on here successfully jumped from 2. A big jump yes but now she's off it and baby is doing great. Reading her story and others really gives me hope that it can be done safely.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:13 pm 
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Free_bird-I'm so sorry you are so upset! Man, I can totally relate! My doctor did not even offer me subutex either. I was too ignorant at that point to know to ask. I haven't seen any studies that suboxone is worse...just that it exposes the baby to 2 drugs instead of one. I will say that although I felt exactly the same as you,..if I'm already suffering, why not jump, it is still a struggle. It's been 32 days and I'm really dealing with a lot of sadness, fatigue, etc. How long have you been on suboxone? I know, for me, they thought that 7 months on wouldn't be as tough. But, I was also at 10mgs at 6 weeks when I started to wean. A lot of my problem could have been the rapid taper. I certainly don't want to condone any medical decisions for anyone else. It just felt right to me and my docs said ok. I was constantly under medical care, too, and would have gone back on if the docs thought my baby was at risk. I had sonograms, blood pressure checked, heart beat checked, etc throughout. The acute part definitely sucked, but never did I fear for my baby. It sounds like you are going to listen to your body, which only you know how you feel! I knew that I could not mentally go on in that state throughout my pregnancy. You have soooo much time though. I'm just now realizing how quickly I did it all and wonder if I should have been more patient. I will say that I'm glad it's behind me, but I cant believe how bad I still struggle with this. I just want to be able to enjoy being pregnant and not think about all this every day! Best of luck to you!!! I think of you often and hope you take care!

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 1:38 am 
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Just wanted to congatulate you on your new bundle of joy. I wish you all the luck with your taper process.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 11:13 am 
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Hi Valleygirl,

I've been on sub for about 6 months, pretty much the same amount of time. The most I took though was 6 mgs. When I started to taper it was from 4. Like you, there's no way I could go through my pregnancy on sub worrying myself sick over NAS etc. so I chose this option. You really give me hope it can be done :) I've also encountered several other women online who've also successfully tapered off sub while pregnant.

I know in you said you would have done it slower etc but look at the bright side..it's OVER!! YOU DID IT!! I think you've earned your peace of mind so I really hope you can start to enjoy your pregnancy too. Your baby is doing great and will be born opiate free and wd free. That's gotta be reassuring! I do worry too about the post withdrawal phase but I know from talking with A LOT of addicts who are doing an abstinance based recovery that it just takes time. They all seem to say the same thing - 90 days is the turning point for many. That's why even in 12 step programs they stress the 90 meetings in 90 days thing. Are you going to meetings? Might help especially on "those days". You said the fatigue, sadness was bothering you. It could be at least in part the pregnancy. Fatigue is common, there are days I'm ready to nap by lunch! And emotional? omg it's ridiculous! I started crying yesterday at a Pampers commercial lol. So although I'm sure coming off sub is causing some havoc with you body and emotions, the pregnancy is too. Just hang in there. I'm here for you if you need to talk and if I can help in any way let me know. Your doing great and I hope you can put your mind at ease. You deserve to!!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:21 pm 
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Thanks free-bird! Yes, I have been going to meetings. I have been so weird with the withdrawals that I fear that I dont' act too sober now, unfortunately. I have been in AA for over 4 years, and hit my bday on 6/29. I didn't go pick up my chip that weekend because I was in such bad withdrawal. Very confusing time for me, as I feel less sober coming off the subs then I did on them :). You are right...a lot of my symptoms could be pregnancy related. I am sleeping a little better...still wake up around 4am-5am just wide awake. Weekdays I don't mind as much, because I have to get up for work, but weekends stink getting up that early. I have not missed one day of work throughout all of this either. Crazy, i know! If I could have slept during the w/d I probably would have, but I would go home during lunch and just be restless, so kept on. I shouldn't complain, as I know the worst is behind me, but I do not want to appear like this has been any walk in the park! Did you ever talk to the OB doc last night? Curious as to what she says....

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:22 pm 
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FreeBird and ValleyGirl-- I wish you both the best of luck! I'm afraid that I am too far along to taper safely off before the baby comes. But, I am going to ask about it at my appt on Friday. If I would have educated myself sooner I totally would have tried to taper sooner and get off completely before birth. I worry everyday now about NAS and all the crap I'm gonna have to deal with being labeled as an "addict mom" while in the hospital.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:35 pm 
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Cinnagirl--thank you for the kind words! Man, as if this pregnancy deal isn't hard enough, then we have to deal with all the stress of w/d or NAS, etc. Such a tough time! I hope you are able to get some answers from your doc (just read your post). I wasn't made aware of NAS either..just told that it was best if I could get off. So many different opinions out there, and so many uneducated drs. At least my baby doc knows enough to say she doesn't know about subs. She defers to my sub doc for all meds, etc...just checks on the baby. Please keep us posted as to what you decide to do. HUGS!!!

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 5:49 pm 
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Hey free_bird! Just wanted to see how you were doing? Are you still tapering? Any updates from your doctors?

Been thinking about you a lot and was just curious as to how things are going. Hope you are hanging in there.

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