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 Post subject: contradicting myself
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 4:52 pm 
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ON the one hand I am sticking to a taper plan i made myself. I have come down from 6mgs to 2mg in three weeks.

But I also find that, becuase I only have a certian amount of sub that I have laid out for myself each day, I have been tempted and have succumbed to taking that dose in whatever way increases the "kick" of the subs the most.

I have tried, snorting and plugging and mixing it with a few ml of alcohol. All of these things work to varying degrees, but they are defeating the purpose of being on a taper!

My actions are contradictory.

I have only been on the subs for 3 weeks, I started reducing right away. My doctor wants me on 8mgs a day... there is no what that I need that much.

I think reducing is the right thing to do.

I don't know I'm confused.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:50 pm 
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Hi heatwave,

Welcome to the forum!

Without a little more background on your opiate history, it's difficult to answer your question. I'll go ahead and give you my opinion though, even though it may be way off base.

Your actions are contradictory because it sounds like you're an addict. The examples you've given are typical addict behavior.

You said you've only been on Suboxone for three weeks and you've already reduced to 2mgs, are you forcing yourself to taper or is your doctor?

Suboxone is a medication that allows us addicts to stop thinking and acting like an addict. Once we have accomplished these goals, some of us then taper to a low maintenance dose, some of us quit Suboxone completely. It can take some of us years before we reach those goals, some of us do it much quicker.

If we could get a little more info about your history with opiates, I'm sure we could get you some better answers.


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 Post subject: Dr Paul............
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:21 pm 
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Dr Paul feel free jump in on this post , tell us how your doing, Mike


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:19 pm 
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I was addicted to poppy tea for about 7 months after a car crash. I had bad withdraws when I would try to quit. I went to a drug clinic and they put me on suboxone. I'm quite happy to be free of the poppy tea. I feel much better. I'm also on welbutrin for major depression. I'm going to group twice a week, and therapy.

I have no interest in tea any more, I just want to ween of the subs and let the welbutrin do its work.

I do feel less depressed.

My doc just said "take 8mgs a day" then I told him that was too much and I was down to 4mgs... I'll see him in a day and tell him I'm down to 2mgs.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:49 pm 
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Hey heatwave,

I understand your story a lot better now. A 7 month addiction to poppy tea isn't a terribly long addiction, but it isn't a real short one either.

The most important point you have to remember is that a few weeks on Suboxone will probably not be enough time for you to get your "head right" as far as addiction goes. I say probably not enough time because no one really knows your addiction except you.

I think your desire to be on a low dose of Suboxone is fine, the lower your dose, the easier it will be to taper off of Suboxone and quit, when you're ready. The only reservation I have is that you are well below the 'ceiling' for Suboxone. Patients at or above 4mg are believed to have the opiate receptors in their brain saturated. With the opiate receptors saturated, your cravings, if you even have any, will be greatly reduced. So, you being under the 'ceiling' would worry me if you were experiencing cravings.

If you feel OK at 2mg and you're not having any cravings, then I'm going to say your doing the right thing.

I'm glad to hear that you're going to group and therapy. Addiction is an insidious disease and I would hate to see you get off Suboxone and suffer a relapse. The more you can learn about addiction, the better off you are.

Good luck and keep us posted!


Last edited by Romeo on Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:58 pm 
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I'm not having any cravings. But maybe I need some more time before I try going to 0. I'll talk to my doctor about that in a day.

:)


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 8:28 am 
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Hi heatwave and welcome. So the sub is addressing your cravings... Just be prepared once you are off sub to experience those cravings again - because they WILL come back. Your addiction history is short, but just be aware that short term sub treatment has a high rate of relapse. Be ready to remain vigilant against relapse. Learn some new coping skills - they will help you to deal with life's normal ups and downs without reaching for your tea or a pill. In other words, get yourself as prepared as possible if you're determined to be on sub only a short time. Good luck to you and again, welcome!

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:08 pm 
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I'm not rushing this taper. So I think I'll be ready when the times comes.

I filling my life with better things right now.

I just came from group and it was very sad, one of my group members is on parole and he keeps missing meetings and he may go back to jail for that foolishness. It's hard to watch someone falling and wanting to help them but not having a way.

I've decided to do some volunteer work. (as a tutor) it will do me good to give back-- I'm finding new sources for those "good feelings"

I still feel a strong urge to mess around with the subs and take them by snorting or plugging. It dosen't make me high or anything, it's more the action of "playing" with pills-- it's really hard compulsion to break and I rationalize that I need to take them anyway ... so what? I'm trying so hard to do the right thing day in and day out. ugh. but there is part of me that just wants to stop dealing with all of this. How did I end up in this place? I mean... WTF.... :x
:x :x :x

I think I can get addicted to anything. I could abuse any drug, even a placebo. :roll:


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 5:06 pm 
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Heatwave,

I fully understand your desire to "mess around" with your pills. I did the same thing for the first good while I was on Suboxone. I didn't snort or plug them, but I took as much as I could trying to get high and all I got for my trouble were nasty headaches. As time passed, I got to where I took them more and more like I was supposed to. It's a process that your brain has to go through. It's a learning and an unlearning (bad behaviors) process. It takes time, man. There are no two ways about it, it takes time and HARD work. The fact that you're going to group and the fact that you're considering tutoring speaks volumes as to your desire to get and remain clean.

I used to say the same thing about getting addicted to anything, except I said I was such a bad addict that I could get addicted to chewing gum!!

As far as I can tell, you're doing fine. Actually, after reading your last post I'm going to say you're doing great. Don't sweat the snorting and plugging, those behaviors will subside in time. Be patient and hang in there!!


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 8:43 pm 
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Thanks, Romero. I think maybe if I stop stressing so much and let the therapy sessions and such do their work I'm going to be fine.

The subs are giving me some time where I don't have any stress from withdraws or bad cravings, that's good. I am wary of getting a brand new addiction even if it is to something far less harmful. I want to have kids in about a year or two, and even though I read that many people have no trouble having kids while on subs-- -eh- I'd rather be off first, for both mental and physical reasons.


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