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PostPosted: Sun Jul 27, 2014 5:53 am 
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Hi TikiS!
Happy 25 days sub free!! That is 1/4 of the way to 100 days!! WOW! You've made great progress- keep it up! You are really truly through the "worst" and will only continue to feel better, more clear and more energetic now. IMO time to really start focusing on whatever recovery program is going to keep you sober, peaceful and serene for the long hall. Now that the wdl "suffering" is ending, the real work begins! But it is joyful work!!!
Congrats!
BF

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 27, 2014 6:11 am 
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h0pe wrote:
Good for you dude. Wow 24 days is Huge. I never go to meetings, or na so i'm not sure what they say. But, i will tell you that sobriety is a full time job with amazing benefits. It takes work, and some balls, with a great attitude, but the payoff?? Dude, you'll get it sooner than later..

Hey h0pe, I'm really glad to see you posting more and more lately- IMO that is a good sign that you are feeling pretty well and solid in your recovery at this point.
Because I care, I do have a question/ concern. You don't have to answer this, I just think it might be healthy for you to think about. I understand "meetings" are not for everyone (I am one of those), however they certainly do help an enormous number of addicts get and stay sober, and find true peace, sobriety, and for many "Faith" as well (even stubborn people like me- ha ha ha). If you don't want to go to meetings, but would like to learn "what they say", you can read their literature and just see for yourself if anything speaks to you. IMO there is a ton of wisdom in any "12" step program that could benefit ANY human being because we ALL have some type of issue that needs healing, and it is truly a solid methodical way to help "heal"---not the ONLY way, but a very good way for many.
Just a suggestion, on your continuing quest for lasting peace, serenity and "perhaps" even "faith", why don't you start reading some of the literature. Since JI is more ensconced in the program right now perhaps he, or someone else could give you a suggestion of where to start. Even if everything you read does not sit well with you, I would keep reading and start using what does work, and leave what doesn't work for you. It can't hurt anyway, right? Knowledge is POWER!
If you don't decide to go this route, I hope you have or will find another research based and/ or time tested method to help support your sobriety. And I believe everyone is happier and more fulfilled when they are part of a community of like minded, sober, healthy people. The lifestyle is contagious and will hold one accountable.
I know of very few people who have been maintain their sobriety for the long hall with out some type of recovery system in place that they can turn to daily, and especially when things get tough. And working the steps make life feel "less tough" in general IMO.
So, food for thought. I am curious though h0pe if you don't mind sharing what your recovery plan/ program is? If I didn't have my faith and a plan I don't believe I'd have a very good shot at maintaining my hard fought freedom...maybe I could "white knuckle" it and be a "dry addict", but that would not be freedom at all now would it.
Have a great day!
BF

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 7:02 am 
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Have not updated for a few days, so here it is late into day 27! Just been working a lot. Feeling about 85-90% during the day, which is pretty damn good honestly compared to where I was a couple weeks ago. I have been struggling a bit with energy early in the day, but it seems to improve in the evening.

Last night I set a new personal best and only had to get up twice during the night! I feel like I am a bit behind others around here for how far I am in my detox, but the fact that I am still improving is good enough for me! Overall my spirits are very high.

On a very personal note one thing I have noticed since detoxing is my sexual stamina is not doing so good :roll: Not sure if this is just another thing I need to relearn or what, but its not a problem I ever had while on suboxone even on as low a dose as 2mg. Not sure if this has happened to any of the other males around here, but its quite disheartening lasting only a fraction of the time I used to. I was trying to think back to how long I lasted before doing drugs and while it wasn't anything to brag about it was definitely better then this :lol:

Bit embarrassed now. So i'll end it there.

Tiki

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 7:12 am 
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IMO nothing to be embarrassed about Tiki :wink: - Just means you are "feeling things" more again, right? and that is HEALTHY! :D Like everything else with our bodies during and after detox I imagine even 'that" will even out and stabilize in time. Course I am not a guy so can't say for certain- lol! But from the female point of view, yeah, it is also way easier to cross the finish line lately- ha ha ha!!! :D But not as "embarrasing" :wink:

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 5:06 am 
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So its late on day 28. Hard to believe its been 4 weeks! I slept a ton last night too much even maybe. I had the day off today and was very lazy. I felt sluggish all day, but really this was my own fault for not getting outside or working out. It just felt sooooo good to be able to sleep I didn't want to stop. I did have to get up a couple times, but I slept for 3 hours at least twice.

Back to working days in the morning. I will probably be pretty tired the first couple days overall I think it will be much better for me though. Not much else to update. Life is slowly returning to normal and at the rate I am progressing it would be hard to imagine not feeling "normal" in another few weeks. Either way everyday seems to get a bit easier and I am very thankful for that. Just gonna try to enjoy the rest of the summer as best I can!

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2014 5:10 am 
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ButterFLYING! wrote:
IMO nothing to be embarrassed about Tiki :wink: - Just means you are "feeling things" more again, right? and that is HEALTHY! :D Like everything else with our bodies during and after detox I imagine even 'that" will even out and stabilize in time. Course I am not a guy so can't say for certain- lol! But from the female point of view, yeah, it is also way easier to cross the finish line lately- ha ha ha!!! :D But not as "embarrasing" :wink:


I supposed it will even out... Been almost 10 years since my body has not been numb. I don't remember having this problem when I was sober after rehab, but I was on SSRI's then and I know a side effect of those is being able to last longer, so I guess I will just have to wait it out. Kind of sucks considering my sex drive is out of control since I stopped suboxone... :oops:

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 2:20 am 
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Haven't updated in awhile. Was starting to seem a bit pointless for me to update daily since things have leveled out quite a bit. 5 weeks today. It really has gone by pretty fast!

Lately the biggest change I have noticed is I have been really social. While on suboxone all I wanted to do was isolate and found every excuse imaginable to avoid going and doing anything! The last few days I can't seem to get out enough. It kind of sucks realizing that you burned out friendships ignoring people for so long, but some of my friends were just glad to hear from me which was nice.

I'm still sleeping pretty poorly. 2-3 hours at a time. The days I have to get up early are the hardest although totally manageable. The scary thing for me at this point is knowing it could be months before I see noticeable improvement from where I am at currently. It's not that I feel bad... sometimes I just feel a bit off. Kind of hard to explain. Maybe this is just what being sober feels like and I forgot. :lol:

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:50 am 
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My god I can really say things are looking up at this point. It is day 43 I believe and the last week or so has been awesome! I just got back from a short vacation with some old friends. We rented a house near a Bavarian themed town here in Washington. Checked out all the local shops/restaurants, floated the river, etc. Was the most fun I have had in ages!

Sleep has definitely improved. Still wakeup often during the night, but don't feel near as restless and uncomfortable when I do. My energy is way up compared to a couple weeks ago... Not sure if its because I'm sleeping better or something else. I have continued to workout and have put on 10 pounds in since starting my detox. Still a long way to go considering I am now sitting at 5'11 158lbs :lol:

If anyone out there is still really struggling at the 2-4 week mark like I was I implore you to stay the course, it is soooo worth it. There really are no words for how how changed I am less then 2 months later and the best part is I feel like there is so much room to grow still.

I probably won't update again for awhile, but I'll still be active on the forum.

Thank you for all your support!

p.s. I still can't stop sneezing!!! :twisted:

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 6:26 am 
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Yay Tikistyles!!! SO happy to hear how well you are feeling! Thanks for sharing! (btw, still sneezing now and then myself and will be 2 months off subs Aug. 26! But sneezes aren't so bad, right?)

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 8:30 pm 
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Awesome to hear your still going strong. I'm on day 36 and I have felt very good for the past two weeks for the most part. It's definitely encouraging to see that a little after this part, things got even better for you. I'm also waking up after about 2-3 hours but usually I am getting 4-6 hours a night, so I can't complain. It's so strange waking being up at 6am every day, but I'm just glad I don't have the restless leg issues like in the first two weeks.

One thing your post reminded me of, was working out. I put that off when things got real bad, and have not had the energy to get back into it. I stay busy working 40 hours a week and going to about 4 meetings a week though, but want to work out to feel even better physically.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 4:15 am 
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breezhy wrote:
Awesome to hear your still going strong. I'm on day 36 and I have felt very good for the past two weeks for the most part. It's definitely encouraging to see that a little after this part, things got even better for you. I'm also waking up after about 2-3 hours but usually I am getting 4-6 hours a night, so I can't complain. It's so strange waking being up at 6am every day, but I'm just glad I don't have the restless leg issues like in the first two weeks.

One thing your post reminded me of, was working out. I put that off when things got real bad, and have not had the energy to get back into it. I stay busy working 40 hours a week and going to about 4 meetings a week though, but want to work out to feel even better physically.


Working out is absolutely amazing! I still struggle a bit with motivation on certain things, but its nothing like on suboxone. Only way I can really describe it is I want more out of life now and the feeling just seems to get stronger every week!

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 6:45 am 
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Hey everyone!

Just wanted to check back in its been ~3 1/2 months off suboxone. I will start by saying I have not been 100% clean and sober during this time. I have drank a few times to the point of being drunk and smoke weed here and there. I'm not super proud of it, but honestly it is what it is and I had very little problem with drugs outside of opiates in the past.

Physically I feel like I have finally overcome all the suboxone side effects and I feel 10x better on a daily basis. I been sleeping pretty well, which didn't really come until about 2 months after detoxing.

All that being said the last week or so my depression has been really bad. There was no dramatic event that triggered it... it just kinda jumped on me. My life has improved drastically new apartment, work is going well, been much more social with my friends/family, but I just feel off. I feel kinda empty and sad inside over nothing in particular. Its actually a bit difficult to put into words for me... Is this PAWS? Should I talk to a doctor or therapist? I have no interest in taking SSRI's so that is not an option for me.

Despite the depression I am so glad I made the jump. Even though I feel a bit down right now the rational side of me can see the huge improvements I have made over the last couple months and I really can't tell anyone who is struggling with their detox enough times how good it is on the other side.

Hope everyone is well!

Tiki

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