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PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 5:38 pm 
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Ok so I'm getting close to day 18... The only time i can say I feel normal is right at the end of my work shift and right when i get up in the morning. Feeling really frustrated today. I had a really bad night at work last night for reasons unrelated to my detox. I guess this was the first real life thing I've had to deal with since this detox began.

Maybe its the addict in me, but I keep getting really upset that I'm not back to normal yet. I'm tired of dragging myself through my day and am losing my motivation to do the healthy things that I know have been key to me getting this far. I know I am doing way way better, but for some reason that's not enough. The "fuzzy" feeling seems to cloud me all the time now unless I have been doing several hours of physical activity and even then it comes back shortly after stopping.

Hoping today is better and that I can motivate myself again in this coming week. I'm still considering 12 step, but I'm not ready for meetings yet. Its been 5 years since I've been to one.

On a positive note my family has invited me to come to Mexico for Christmas. I have not been invited on a family trip like that in years because of my drug problems, but they are very proud of me for taking this final step to get clean.

Guess that is all for now. I'll keep truckin' and I hope the rest of you do too!

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 6:20 pm 
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Hey TikiS.

I just dug back a bit in my own thread to double check for sure, and "sure enough" around day 18 I was also feeling like the wdl process was kind of a "marathon" and was getting pretty tired.

Then "sure enough" just like everyone said, around day 20-21 things took a big turn for the better, and I am feeling really well here on day 24.

SO...hang in there!! You are "so close" to the "turn around"!! Get as much sleep as you can manage of course..when sleep comes back "every thing" is easier. Hold on!! You'll get here!
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 8:53 pm 
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I think you're doing great! But just like a drug addict, the brain will constantly try to wear you down until you give in and take more drugs. You knew going into this that the process would be long.

You don't want to try the 12 steps again but at least remember their best saying, "One Day at a Time". Listen to Butterflying, she knows a lot better than me. I'm only posting to hopefully get you motivated again. You've gone longer than I ever have so you're a winner in my book.

Keep on keepin' on.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:29 pm 
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Not much to update today on day 19. Had the day off, which actually has not been that great. I feel the best when I'm at work now surprisingly. I slept for 3 hrs straight last night which is the most i have done. Still feel very foggy when I'm idle. Hoping that fades over the next few weeks. One thing I'm noticing at night is my RLS seems to kick in every 2-3hrs except lately its been more in my arms. I still have to take a hot shower before going back to sleep.

Anyway I can tell things are getting better slowly and I can't really compare myself to others around here that are a few days ahead of me since they jumped from a very low dose. Looking forward to hitting 3 weeks on wednesday. Its much easier to judge my progress week by week rather then day by day at this point.

Thanks for all the support everyone!

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 11:16 am 
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Hang in there TS, I think all of us recent jumpers experienced a very noticeable improvement around day 22 - 23. Much smoother sailing after that.

-- ji

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 1:08 pm 
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Day 20 was a definate turning point for me. I had sweats right up until that day. Sleep seemed to come back too. By the 25th day, everything was good. I too, noticed that in the first 3 weeks, I felt better when busy. If I laid around watching tv, I would feel shitty and my motivation to do anything got worse as the hours passed. I would have to take a hot bath just to rejuvenate and feel better. Its also alearning process. Prejump, I could chill out all day, do nothing and be quite content with that. I found that no longer worked for me afterwards. I have to much energy now and laying around drives me crazy. I have to getup and do stuff. I clean the house alot lately. Lol I must have the cleanest house in my neighborhood. Even my husband is like "you JUST cleaned the bathrooms yesterday. How dirty do you think they got overnight?".


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:37 pm 
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trainer14 wrote:
Day 20 was a definate turning point for me. I had sweats right up until that day. Sleep seemed to come back too. By the 25th day, everything was good. I too, noticed that in the first 3 weeks, I felt better when busy. If I laid around watching tv, I would feel shitty and my motivation to do anything got worse as the hours passed. I would have to take a hot bath just to rejuvenate and feel better. Its also alearning process. Prejump, I could chill out all day, do nothing and be quite content with that. I found that no longer worked for me afterwards. I have to much energy now and laying around drives me crazy. I have to getup and do stuff. I clean the house alot lately. Lol I must have the cleanest house in my neighborhood. Even my husband is like "you JUST cleaned the bathrooms yesterday. How dirty do you think they got overnight?".


Trainer this is pretty much exactly how the last couple days have been for me. I have had the last 2 days off and I am still totally broke because I was paying for my suboxone script for the last 6 months out of pocket and it really put a hurt on me financially. I know there a tons of things I can do for free, but its frustrating not be able to go out and do what I want to. The last 2 days i have just sat around doing nothing, which is what my biggest problem on suboxone was. Its really the only time I still feel "bad" besides sometimes when I wake up at night.

I really need to change my behavior and quickly because the last few days I have been really slipping. No desire to use or return to suboxone, but I am returning to the habits suboxone helped form.

Today is the big 20 and I am proud of myself for making it this long. Everything is manageable at this point. Far from comfortable, but I'll take what I can get!

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:13 pm 
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h0pe wrote:
When i was at day 17, after jumping from 2mg, i felt like i was doing great(but i wasnt). I really forgot the simplicity of every day life. Being on drugs screwed up my brain chemistry. The roller coaster ride your on, with the peaks and valleys, will slowly even out somewhere inbetween your highest high and lowest low. Dnt expect to feel perfect tho. It takes time, like everyone says. Btw, you said something about the "wrath of paws". Its not what you think, trust me. Its more of a re-learning process you have to go through. Do some research on exposure therapy. This works good for recovering addicts. Learn to push yourself outside of your comfort zone


A friend of mine in addiction recovery sent me this vid a long time ago, and what you said just reminded me of it, while reading thru TikiS' thread again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqMdr90RdFg


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 10:24 pm 
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Towards the last year of being on subs I did the bare minimum. I did what I "had" to do and screwed the rest. It caused alot of problems in my marriage because my husband ended up doing everything and got irritated. I can't blame him. I would come home from work, take care of the animals and lay on my bed all day/night watching tv. What a slug!!!! Sad thing, I was ok with that. I had to make changes wheni jumped off subs. First, I couldn't lay around because it made me feel like shit, and second, I had to be more present in my life and marriage. Even at first, when I really didn't wanna do something, I forced myself to. Eventually I built up momentum to where now I am always doing something.

We have to change if we want to stay successful. Even doing one thing new everyday is huge! I joined the gym, which is a huge benefit in energy and stamina. I also got offmy lazy ass and started doing more around the house. Now I clean alot, picked up doing more errands to ease the burden off the hubs and recently added yard work to the list.

even though your broke, you can still do things to make changes. Go running, or walking. Clean. Get a pet! Tons of small animals like birds, hamsters, etc at a shelter waiting to be loved! Hell, buy abetta fish. Something to nurture and take care of. Its so rewarding seeing an animal thrive in your care. Betta fish cost 3 bucks! :) better yet, volunteer at a shelter!

Doing little things everyday will help with that mental motivation struggle!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 1:45 am 
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Well here I am 3 weeks! I must say last night was the best I have slept BY FAR. I only had to get up 3x the entire night which is a vast improvement over how other nights have been. I think part of the reason is the weather has been much cooler. Here in Seattle we don't have AC most place and it was between 85-90 degree for the first couple weeks of my detox which was honestly hell when i was trying to sleep at night.

I been pretty lazy the last few days, but I am going to get back into the swing of things starting tomorrow. I have work for the next 5 days, which I am actually very excited for. Seems like time goes by much faster and I feel much better the days I'm working.

Feeling much more optimistic then I was a couple days ago and am thankful for every bit of my health that has returned to me thus far.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 3:19 am 
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TikiStyles wrote:
Well here I am 3 weeks! I must say last night was the best I have slept BY FAR. I only had to get up 3x the entire night which is a vast improvement ....
.... I have work for the next 5 days, which I am actually very excited for.

Feeling much more optimistic then I was a couple days ago and am thankful for every bit of my health that has returned to me thus far.

Hurray TikiStyles!
Another great testimonial that (no matter where one jumps from) right "around" days 20-25 things really start looking up!
Keep appreciating how far you have come!
Enjoy your day at work!
:D BF

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 12:21 pm 
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SO HAPPY TO HEAR!!!!!!!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:36 pm 
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That video was incredible @coda. !

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 11:12 pm 
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no_boop_shoo_be_doop wrote:
h0pe wrote:
When i was at day 17, after jumping from 2mg, i felt like i was doing great(but i wasnt). I really forgot the simplicity of every day life. Being on drugs screwed up my brain chemistry. The roller coaster ride your on, with the peaks and valleys, will slowly even out somewhere inbetween your highest high and lowest low. Dnt expect to feel perfect tho. It takes time, like everyone says. Btw, you said something about the "wrath of paws". Its not what you think, trust me. Its more of a re-learning process you have to go through. Do some research on exposure therapy. This works good for recovering addicts. Learn to push yourself outside of your comfort zone


A friend of mine in addiction recovery sent me this vid a long time ago, and what you said just reminded me of it, while reading thru TikiS' thread again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqMdr90RdFg


Great video boop i needed motivation to do my workout today!!!

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 12:16 am 
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Just a quick update here on day 22. Didn't sleep near as well as last night as the night before, but that could be partially because I slept so much 2 nights ago that I was not as tired. Just got a pretty intense workout in thanks to boop's video! I notice being on the computer seems to be what makes me feel "fuzzy"... not sure why.

Hoping the workout will give me another good nights sleep tonight (im starting to get scared to see my water bill).

Thanks again to everyone here that has been so supportive. To those out there fighting suboxone withdrawals keep its up, tomorrow is a new day!

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 5:12 am 
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Congrats on your progress TikiS!
Yes, what an awesome video! (Thanks boop!)
Sleep is still hit or miss for me as well, but like you, as long as I get a fairly solid night here and there I'm grateful. Last night was good for me and I think partially because I limited my caffeine to only the morning so that might be something to think about. I've heard that some have to totally eliminate it in early withdrawal.
Have a great Friday!
BF

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 9:37 pm 
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How you doing bro???

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2014 6:52 pm 
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Well here we are day 24. I felt great yesterday almost the entire day. Very little fuzzy feeling and a clear head. Still struggling at night, but its totally doable at this point. I seem to wake up very restless still and need a shower to calm my nerves back down. The good part is I fall back asleep now very easily.

I do switch my schedule back to mornings starting next Thursday though, so I am gonna have to figure out a way to get some sleep earlier in the night by then. I guess now its time to really try to get back out in the world. I have been really avoiding people outside my inner circle of friends and family.

Its kind of strange thinking that life will just continue on now that I am through the worst of it. Everything has kind of been a blur this month, but I am so happy that I did this. I can honestly say I had almost no emotion on suboxone outside of anger and being able to really feel again is amazing!

Much love!
Tiki

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2014 7:43 pm 
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Day 24! Thats awesome! 6 days shy of a full month. I can tell you that every day is easier and easier. Subs are just a memory for me know. I feel much better now than I have in years. I sleep better, wake up refreshed and have tons of natural energy. Pretty cool stuff!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2014 10:48 pm 
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Good for you dude. Wow 24 days is Huge. I never go to meetings, or na so i'm not sure what they say. But, i will tell you that sobriety is a full time job with amazing benefits. It takes work, and some balls, with a great attitude, but the payoff?? Dude, you'll get it sooner than later. Also, The quicker you find out that avoidance will just hold you down, your on your way. Go to the gym, ask a dude for a spot. Before you know it, your back in it. I was pretty uncomfortablr after withdrawal, and the first few months i was lost. At 6 1/2 months, everything has slowed down. Addiction helped me understand that life was worth living. Remember, your alive and have everything to live for. Think about everyone youlove. I dont know anyone, Anyone, who got sober with a defeated attitude. Watch that video that Coda pasted on your thread from a couple days back.

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