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 Post subject: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 10:38 am 
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I've been on sub for four years. I cant remember much of those years, but i have come out of my addiction with a new found appreciation for life. I can only thank suboxone for this revelation. I came off 4mg of suboxone in january. I quit my Management position, and went through hell with lack of sleep, mind blowing fatigue and leg pain. I made it 40 days just to realize i made a mistake. Yeah, i need Off sub, but it would have been a better choice to wean off.

One year after high school, i retained a scholorship to bowling green univ(06). For ice hockey. My life was great. My family is great, my mother and father never had a reason to doubt me and my decisions. I was in a car accident, and i injured my neck. That was 2008. I dont remember much since then. It took a script of vikodin to wake up this beast in me. Everyone i love left me. I've managed to regain trust from my mother, but thats about it.

Sorry for the illiterate, sporadic cluster of words, im doing this on my iphone. :o . Anyways, i made it down to 1mg last month with suprisingly no withdrawal!! Maybe i just forgot what normal feels like? Last sunday i went from 1mg to .5mgand i feel like this pain im feeling is pretty damn weak. Like 1/10. I took my last dose just ten minutes ago. I work out religously, and work fulltime selling cars. I can say with certainty that sub saved my stupid ass. I dont know where this need to feel high came from. I never had a drink, or even a smoke until my accident.( except for prom)..<which seems like yesterday> . I hope i feelhalf as good as i feel now the next month. I understand the science of sub, and expect this to be annoying, but manageable. Thank you god?


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 4:28 pm 
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Hey Mojito Man. Sorry to see your not getting much advice. Im also in sales, and i can completely understand how difficult it can be to come off any drug while trying to be a productive adult. It makes sense that your not having much difficulty with withdrawals since you went 40 some days without taking it a couple months back. You may experience some moderate withdrawals the next couple of weeks after dropping from.750, but i cant imagine that it would be bad. Maybe some rls abd a couple rough nights with sleep. GL and i hope you get some advice. This is an amazing forum

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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 5:17 pm 
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Sub withdrawal I found to be more annoying than anything. 15 days off subs for me and I am thrilled with how I feel. I did have a rough 4 or 5 days right at the 6 day mark thru maybe the afternoon on the 10th day but everyday after that just smoothed out. I feel great today, had a fantastic day at work and am now home relaxing!!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 15, 2014 11:53 am 
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Yeah, trying to come off 4mg of Suboxone cold turkey can be a bear.

I'm glad you were able to get back on it and do a taper. Sounds like you're doing really well with your taper, too. That's great!! The more drug you remove from your system, the less wd you'll feel when you jump.

You said, "I don't know where this need to feel high came from...", it came because you're an addict. Once that beast has been awakened, he basically hangs around for life. Some people have a hell of a time getting the beast to go back to sleep, while others manage it without too, too much trouble. I hope you're able to do it without too much trouble.

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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 15, 2014 4:30 pm 
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Ty 2 everyone!
Day 2: I found out a few months back that it wasnt that bad. After being on sub for so long, i guess i started to hear all of the horror stories, and i built up withdrawal to be something it wasnt. Its not like coming off 280mg of Oxy a day. I'M LOVIN this weather!!!! Its making evetything seem .. right. I feel like i made the right decision. I also notice that I'm experiencing things i guess i forgot about. I've been so numb on drugs that i forgot how to soxialize with people. I find myself looking at customers, and being able to relate more. Before, i would just blab something with no connection.

Romeo wrote:
Yeah, trying to come off 4mg of Suboxone cold turkey can be a bear.

I'm glad you were able to get back on it and do a taper. Sounds like you're doing really well with your taper, too. That's great!! The more drug you remove from your system, the less wd you'll feel when you jump.

You said, "I don't know where this need to feel high came from...", it came because you're an addict. Once that beast has been awakened, he basically hangs around for life. Some people have a hell of a time getting the beast to go back to sleep, while others manage it without too, too much trouble. I hope you're able to do it without too much trouble.


This beast inside of us is a greedy mother fkr. Its never satisfied, and leaves you high and dry.


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 15, 2014 5:12 pm 
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Congrats M0jitoMan,

Doing it wrong then doing it the right way was a wise thing. Your post if very informative and should give others some hope of getting off it if they ever plan to.

Tapering/weaning, is the only way to do it w/o suffering badly. Bupe is strong stuff so going down needs to be done slowly and carefully. Looks like that is what you did.

Just remember, it is better to go back onto Suboxone to rid yourself of terrible cravings then it is to take full agonist pain meds/opiates and risk dying.

I hope you have a decent support system to rely on and some kind of recovery plan in place. If you believe you can just make it all by yourself, more power to you! Not me, I need a program and support to stay off all substances. But that doesn't mean you or anyone else needs it.

Keep on keeping off!

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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:27 am 
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Ty rule and everyone.
Today is day 5 or 4. Who knows. Im doing my best not to focus on this. Anyways, im proud of myself. I feel anxious, sleep deprived, and kindof a sluggish feeling but i feel healthy. Not just that, I feel ultra sensitive to everything, which ill never take for granted again!. How good does it feel to get excited about going to work?? Well im not excited about work, but im excited. My motivation is low, but its not bad. This isnt all that bad. I feel like i smoked weed or something. Music sounds better, i feel tired and buzzy like in my legs. Rls? Anyways, off to the gym, then court then work! Peace


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 1:12 am 
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Well go figure, middle of the night, day five and im wide awake. I fid myself wondering how i let myself get into this hole. I made a decision at one point to just throw In the towel. Then i remember that shit, im not on sub. I can go get high. I have more than enough money to stay high for 3 months straight. This is a feeling i'M starting to remember all too well. I face these images from the past that i cant cover up anymore. Unless i use again. I just want a normal life with a wife and two kids without these cravings!! I wwould give my left arm to follow down the paths of my friends and brothers. My oroblem is this, i always find a way out of this kind if mess, one way or anotherm but i always find courage to get sober. Then i succeed, land another big job, and i akways need to celebrate. Thats always the beginning if the end. I always get so fucking close to that life i want, and i throw,it all away and spirak so far out of control its scary. I hope things go right this time because im 26, and my body is starting to feel abused from these. I hate being an addict. Im an addict


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 1:59 am 
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m0jitoMan wrote:
Well go figure, middle of the night, day five and im wide awake. I fid myself wondering how i let myself get into this hole. I made a decision at one point to just throw In the towel. Then i remember that shit, im not on sub. I can go get high. I have more than enough money to stay high for 3 months straight. This is a feeling i'M starting to remember all too well. I face these images from the past that i cant cover up anymore. Unless i use again. I just want a normal life with a wife and two kids without these cravings!! I wwould give my left arm to follow down the paths of my friends and brothers. My oroblem is this, i always find a way out of this kind if mess, one way or anotherm but i always find courage to get sober. Then i succeed, land another big job, and i akways need to celebrate. Thats always the beginning if the end. I always get so fucking close to that life i want, and i throw,it all away and spirak so far out of control its scary. I hope things go right this time because im 26, and my body is starting to feel abused from these. I hate being an addict. Im an addict


You just reminded me of something, that struck me sometime during the course of when I had nearly a decade clean off of everything on the controlled substance list, as well as alcohol. I found myself grateful to be an addict. Because if I wasn't, I wouldn't have been introduced into a way of life that brought me profound serenity; the things that would trouble me before rolled off my back like water on a teflon duck. And some of the greatest friends I've ever had, people who would do anything to help each other (staying clean and more), rather than the using friends of my former life, who, with few exceptions, disappeared when we no longer had our vices of using drugs in common. I can't wait to be back there fully again, but its nice to know its waiting for me. It is for you, too, whether or not you realize yet.


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 9:39 am 
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Maybe you are scared of that good life so subconsciously, when you get close to it, you screw it up. Afraid of disappointment so before you can allow it to happen you bail out. Idk. Just chiming in with a thought. Only you know the answer to it. Face it head on, work through it and move on to where you want to be.

in active addiction, we cant sustain that lifestyle very long. Eventually the good times end. Money runs out, supply dries up, etc. Then we get to our "bottom", clean up, swear off drugs forever, do ok for a month maybe, then go right back at it. Its a hamster wheel, and eventually we just have to get off that wheel, face the demons we tried to supress with drugs and get past it. Keep going and our options become jail or death. Sounds no fun to me.


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 11:08 am 
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trainer14 wrote:
Keep going and our options become jail or death. Sounds no fun to me.

Or, may I add, institutions. Equally unfun.


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 7:40 am 
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Wow, i like the people here :mrgreen: . I read every comment, and appreciate them so much; ty!
Day 7, and i didnt sleep well last night. Thats the only complaint i have. That feeling in my legs feels like electricity. Nothing compaired to how th3y felt last time i jumped from 4mg. Jumping from .5 is like coming off a vic a day habit, but it lasts a couple weeks. My stomach iwnt even screwed up. Anyone who is planning on jumping, avoid jumping durjng a depressing time of the year like new years or christmas. Its difficult to deal with the cold and stress of family functions. Thats my rant, if you wanna call it a rant. I was thinking of taking clonodine, but its too manaegable to start taking shit to feel better. It would feel counter productive to take pills to come off pills. Maybe thays just my ignorant perspective on sobriety. Ty everyone !


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 7:50 am 
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I felt similar in regards to pills to get off pills. I skipped the rx meds, barely touched the otc stuff. I wanted my body to get through it and heal on its own. 21 days without subs and I feel great. Sleep is back, symptoms are gone and sweating stopped after awhile. There is no wrong way to detox. Some folks will need to take the rx their doctor prescribes during detox. I was lucky in that I dont have little kids that need a parent who isnt a sweatty, shitty mess to get them fed, dressed, etc. Thought my animals were demanding, toddlers scare me. Lol


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:22 am 
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m0jitoMan wrote:
I was thinking of taking clonodine, but its too manaegable to start taking shit to feel better. It would feel counter productive to take pills to come off pills. Maybe thays just my ignorant perspective on sobriety. Ty everyone !


Great job m0jitoMan, keep it up! I really admire the "no meds" , "all natural" plan if you can manage it- I mean, our bodies were created (for the most part) to function normally and healthily without added "chemicals" of any kind, so no meds may be the "healthiest" route?? Something to consider on the subject of the clonodine is that it is non-habit forming (as apposed to some of the opiate type medications I've read people using, or benzos), and in my experience was a huge relief to have. Now that I am "stable" at current dose, I stopped taking it (and was only taking it at night to help the RLS so I could get some sleep). I still have some and plan to use it only to relieve symptoms, if needed. I figure, why suffer more than I have to, KWIM? But I am also a working mom, so have others who depend on me (not toddlers, 10 & 12, but they still need their Mama to not be sweaty, shitty, and sick- lol). Just my thoughts on the clonodine issue. It was a Godsend for me!


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 7:43 am 
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trainer14 wrote:
I felt similar in regards to pills to get off pills. I skipped the rx meds, barely touched the otc stuff. I wanted my body to get through it and heal on its own. 21 days without subs and I feel great. Sleep is back, symptoms are gone and sweating stopped after awhile. There is no wrong way to detox. Some folks will need to take the rx their doctor prescribes during detox. I was lucky in that I dont have little kids that need a parent who isnt a sweatty, shitty mess to get them fed, dressed, etc. Thought my animals were demanding, toddlers scare me. Lol


-->Ty trainer. You have pushed me ib a way without knowing it. I've been reading your posts, and i can see the change in ya, and i want the same! Remember to live in the moment, we're lucky to have a moment thanks to all of tge work that went into sobriety. Tc

rca1004 wrote:
m0jitoMan wrote:
I was thinking of taking clonodine, but its too manaegable to start taking shit to feel better. It would feel counter productive to take pills to come off pills. Maybe thays just my ignorant perspective on sobriety. Ty everyone !


Great job m0jitoMan, keep it up! I really admire the "no meds" , "all natural" plan if you can manage it- I mean, our bodies were created (for the most part) to function normally and healthily without added "chemicals" of any kind, so no meds may be the "healthiest" route?? Something to consider on the subject of the clonodine is that it is non-habit forming (as apposed to some of the opiate type medications I've read people using, or benzos), and in my experience was a huge relief to have. Now that I am "stable" at current dose, I stopped taking it (and was only taking it at night to help the RLS so I could get some sleep). I still have some and plan to use it only to relieve symptoms, if needed. I figure, why suffer more than I have to, KWIM? But I am also a working mom, so have others who depend on me (not toddlers, 10 & 12, but they still need their Mama to not be sweaty, shitty, and sick- lol). Just my thoughts on the clonodine issue. It was a Godsend for me!


---> Hey rca :mrgreen: ty for the kind words. I actually have a clonodine, but im scared to take it! Anyways, i slept like a rock last night. Getting ready for work in a few, and suprisingly i feel much better than yrsterday. I believe thisbis due to sleeping. If i were to go through the first week again, i would re consider the clonodine patch. Ive read about it, i just worry too much.. Gl with your taper !


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 7:45 am 
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C'est la vie Said the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell!!


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 9:57 am 
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I found when sleep started coming back, it made everything a whole lot better. Body cant heal when its severely sleep deprived!


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 11:47 am 
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Hey mojito! I just caught up on your thread, and first off, congrats on how far you've come! It looks like you already have some great support/suggestions on your thread! I, too, recently attempted a jump (not nearly as high a dose as 4mg though) and after 6 days decided to go back on a longer taper. I have a very young child, and i decided it was best for both of us if I continue a taper for a few more weeks. I sort of forced myself to drop rapidly on my last taper, and wasn't really ready when I did jump. I concur with what boop and Romeo said in regard to being an addict; I too have had multiple years of clean time (and I mean off EVERYTHING) in the past, and the wholeness I felt, the true friends I made, and the love for life I experienced was priceless! I am not trying to push anything on you, but when I had that clean time I was working a 12-step program and connecting with other addicts on a regular basis. I found some moments of peace and serenity, and learned it was okay to NOT feel okay--meaning having bad days, experiencing pain & discomfort, or just simply wanting to get high out of nowhere is just a part of life as an addict, and IT'S OKAY! Feelings are just feelings, and they are constantly passing and changing. Those are the times that I would reach out and was perfectly honest about what I was going through. I know this is a new journey for me at this point, but I aspire to have those experiences again soon, and so can you!

Anyway, I hope you're doing okay today! Keep posting...it helps to get it out! Hope to hear from you soon...


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:52 am 
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Day 9 ! Getting ready for the gym, and i'm on espn, and my buddy i went ti school wit was just drafted on my damn home football team. Cant believe it. Life is crazy.

Am i the only one trying to get in touch with everyone i lost touch with??. Idk why, but i lost touch with everyone when i went on,sub. Being sober is tricky. It has its amazing highs, but the lows are just as drastic. I have to face things this time. This fight or flight feeling comes over me sometimes and i run. I have ti reconnect with my dad, and my family out of state. Everything is going so fast, and let me tell you something. Wen you relaps, no one sits around and waits for ya. Everyone moves on. I always expected old friends to give me a fourth and fifth chance. Nope. This is why i used kast time i think. My brothet is three years younger than me and didnt make the 6 years of mistakes i made, and he's exactly where i figured i would,be. In san fran making 100k counting numbers. Now i have to make up for lost time. I really dug myself this time. Dnt get me wrong, i work hard and make money, but its not,an easy lifestyle. Btw ty mama for the advice. It sounds like you know me too well. Yeah, feelings come, but they go too. Thank god. Thanks everyone for the great advice, and i hope your doing well trainer! Gl everyone


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 8:20 am 
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m0jitoMan wrote:
Day 9 ! Getting ready for the gym, and i'm on espn, and my buddy i went ti school wit was just drafted on my damn home football team. Cant believe it. Life is crazy.

Am i the only one trying to get in touch with everyone i lost touch with??. Idk why, but i lost touch with everyone when i went on,sub. Being sober is tricky. It has its amazing highs, but the lows are just as drastic. I have to face things this time. This fight or flight feeling comes over me sometimes and i run. I have ti reconnect with my dad, and my family out of state. Everything is going so fast, and let me tell you something. Wen you relaps, no one sits around and waits for ya. Everyone moves on. I always expected old friends to give me a fourth and fifth chance. Nope. This is why i used kast time i think. My brothet is three years younger than me and didnt make the 6 years of mistakes i made, and he's exactly where i figured i would,be. In san fran making 100k counting numbers. Now i have to make up for lost time. I really dug myself this time. Dnt get me wrong, i work hard and make money, but its not,an easy lifestyle. Btw ty mama for the advice. It sounds like you know me too well. Yeah, feelings come, but they go too. Thank god. Thanks everyone for the great advice, and i hope your doing well trainer! Gl everyone

Hey m0-Man! Congrats on day 9! Sounds like you are doing all the right things, going to gym, etc. Keep it up!!
Yeah, getting hit with the "emotions" we've numbed ourselves to can be pretty overwhelming! I am still "going through it" myself, but have found it gets a little easier, especially when I remember that everything is "heightened" right now, and will calm down later. I understand all those "thoughts" of "would have could have" coming back as well, but the plain fact is we can't turn back the clock, and thoughts like that get us nowhere fast. I try not to solve all my problems right now, as I have enough on my plate just getting (and eventually staying) sober. You know what "they" say, "one day at a time"...there is a lot of wisdom in that. Take it easy today and enjoy your work out!
rca


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