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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 8:04 am 
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rca1004 wrote:
m0jitoMan wrote:
Day 9 ! Getting ready for the gym, and i'm on espn, and my buddy i went ti school wit was just drafted on my damn home football team. Cant believe it. Life is crazy.

Am i the only one trying to get in touch with everyone i lost touch with??. Idk why, but i lost touch with everyone when i went on,sub. Being sober is tricky. It has its amazing highs, but the lows are just as drastic. I have to face things this time. This fight or flight feeling comes over me sometimes and i run. I have ti reconnect with my dad, and my family out of state. Everything is going so fast, and let me tell you something. Wen you relaps, no one sits around and waits for ya. Everyone moves on. I always expected old friends to give me a fourth and fifth chance. Nope. This is why i used kast time i think. My brothet is three years younger than me and didnt make the 6 years of mistakes i made, and he's exactly where i figured i would,be. In san fran making 100k counting numbers. Now i have to make up for lost time. I really dug myself this time. Dnt get me wrong, i work hard and make money, but its not,an easy lifestyle. Btw ty mama for the advice. It sounds like you know me too well. Yeah, feelings come, but they go too. Thank god. Thanks everyone for the great advice, and i hope your doing well trainer! Gl everyone

Hey m0-Man! Congrats on day 9! Sounds like you are doing all the right things, going to gym, etc. Keep it up!!
Yeah, getting hit with the "emotions" we've numbed ourselves to can be pretty overwhelming! I am still "going through it" myself, but have found it gets a little easier, especially when I remember that everything is "heightened" right now, and will calm down later. I understand all those "thoughts" of "would have could have" coming back as well, but the plain fact is we can't turn back the clock, and thoughts like that get us nowhere fast. I try not to solve all my problems right now, as I have enough on my plate just getting (and eventually staying) sober. You know what "they" say, "one day at a time"...there is a lot of wisdom in that. Take it easy today and enjoy your work out!
rca


Thanks rca. How many days are you clean? I have to say, Yeah, its overwhelming at first. I went into this addiction with no respect for impulses, or just life in general. Things have changed. Im going to be careful this time. If i look back at why i started using, i can blaim the car accident. If i were to be completely honest, i would tell you it was because i couldnt handle that feeling of moving out of state for school and being alone, and away from everyone. I remember seeing my x move on, and being like fuck this. Remembering this gives me peace. I should have handled everything differently. I hate losing control. But who doesnt


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 9:26 am 
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Why take a worn out path, when you can blaze your own trail. Never compare yourself to someone else, it doesn't get you anywhere but feeling bad about yourself. Your brother may be his own version of success but you are not him and you are entitled to your own success too. Success can be measured in small steps until you build a mountain of all the small things. Besides, you probably have alot more life wisdom than he does. We have gone thru so much shit and lived to tell about it. Thats success.

One moment, one hour, one day at a time.


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 4:40 pm 
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^^good advice

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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:50 am 
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m0jitoMan wrote:
rca1004 wrote:
m0jitoMan wrote:
Day 9 ! Getting ready for the gym, and i'm on espn, and my buddy i went ti school wit was just drafted on my damn home football team. Cant believe it. Life is crazy.

Am i the only one trying to get in touch with everyone i lost touch with??. Idk why, but i lost touch with everyone when i went on,sub. Being sober is tricky. It has its amazing highs, but the lows are just as drastic. I have to face things this time. This fight or flight feeling comes over me sometimes and i run. I have ti reconnect with my dad, and my family out of state. Everything is going so fast, and let me tell you something. Wen you relaps, no one sits around and waits for ya. Everyone moves on. I always expected old friends to give me a fourth and fifth chance. Nope. This is why i used kast time i think. My brothet is three years younger than me and didnt make the 6 years of mistakes i made, and he's exactly where i figured i would,be. In san fran making 100k counting numbers. Now i have to make up for lost time. I really dug myself this time. Dnt get me wrong, i work hard and make money, but its not,an easy lifestyle. Btw ty mama for the advice. It sounds like you know me too well. Yeah, feelings come, but they go too. Thank god. Thanks everyone for the great advice, and i hope your doing well trainer! Gl everyone

Hey m0-Man! Congrats on day 9! Sounds like you are doing all the right things, going to gym, etc. Keep it up!!
Yeah, getting hit with the "emotions" we've numbed ourselves to can be pretty overwhelming! I am still "going through it" myself, but have found it gets a little easier, especially when I remember that everything is "heightened" right now, and will calm down later. I understand all those "thoughts" of "would have could have" coming back as well, but the plain fact is we can't turn back the clock, and thoughts like that get us nowhere fast. I try not to solve all my problems right now, as I have enough on my plate just getting (and eventually staying) sober. You know what "they" say, "one day at a time"...there is a lot of wisdom in that. Take it easy today and enjoy your work out!
rca


Thanks rca. How many days are you clean? I have to say, Yeah, its overwhelming at first. I went into this addiction with no respect for impulses, or just life in general. Things have changed. Im going to be careful this time. If i look back at why i started using, i can blaim the car accident. If i were to be completely honest, i would tell you it was because i couldnt handle that feeling of moving out of state for school and being alone, and away from everyone. I remember seeing my x move on, and being like fuck this. Remembering this gives me peace. I should have handled everything differently. I hate losing control. But who doesnt

Do what you need to do to find "peace"- it is slippery to hold onto, but well worth fighting for! I am not "quite" clean yet, I'm down from 12mg daily (8 year habit) to .375mgs (almost 3 weeks now) and am considering "jumping" Saturday or Sunday, then I will start counting up those totally "clean" days. I have gone through "mild" withdrawals, and quite a bit of "emotional" shit during this looooong taper, and I think I am just about ready to get it over and done with and just focus on "recovery", KWIM? It is scary to contemplate, but I am feeling like with the support I have found on this forum, I can do it.
I like Trainer's advice to you about forging your own path. keep it up!


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:01 pm 
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trainer14 wrote:
Why take a worn out path, when you can blaze your own trail. Never compare yourself to someone else, it doesn't get you anywhere but feeling bad about yourself. Your brother may be his own version of success but you are not him and you are entitled to your own success too. Success can be measured in small steps until you build a mountain of all the small things. Besides, you probably have alot more life wisdom than he does. We have gone thru so much shit and lived to tell about it. Thats success.

One moment, one hour, one day at a time.


And "always wear sunscreen" (no matter if whether or not you have any class, heh): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5giWfpANMac


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:43 pm 
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Day 13 , doing great! Shit, life is good!! There's a concert accross the street from my house, literally. Getting ready to go out!!It seems like i havent done much in the fast few years, so here we go! Yeah baby


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 4:59 am 
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Congrats on 2 WEEKS! Way to go!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:03 am 
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Day 14 or 15.
Symptoms:
Restless legs(3/10)
Mild depression(4/10)
Goosebumps!! (10/10)
Metallic taste in mouth!!(10/10)
Anxiety(3/10)
Sleep(1/10- not a problem..)
Gi(1/10)

Hanging on at day 14


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:18 am 
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Hey, 2 weeks in, that's great!!

I like how you listed out your symptoms and gave a rating for each, that's cool. In another week, I'm sure you'll be able to downgrade all those symptoms even more.

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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 1:54 pm 
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I hope so :shock: @Rom. Today's my first day off of work since my jump. It'd be so much easier if i worked everyday. I feel restless, but too... lethargic?? I usually start my workout cycle on sunday, and theres no way I'm working out feeling like this. I'm randomly sweating, and get this wierd Anxiety feeling in my stomach. I know people with panic disorders, and i know,for sure i never felt like this b4 sub. Day 14 is proving to be difficult, more because im home, and not really doing much. I know i should be but this "jet lag" stuff is Tough. Whatever, every now and then i feel a spark of energy and i come to my senses, so i know this is only going to get better! I have to re-learn how to live all ovet again ugh! I'm going to put a Cold air intake on my new chevy! Everything wil be amazing again!


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 2:03 pm 
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Glad to hear you're hanging in there, can't be long now before you well over the hump.

Good luck!

-- ji

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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:54 pm 
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m0jitoMan wrote:
I hope so :shock: @Rom. Today's my first day off of work since my jump. It'd be so much easier if i worked everyday. I feel restless, but too... lethargic?? I usually start my workout cycle on sunday, and theres no way I'm working out feeling like this. I'm randomly sweating, and get this wierd Anxiety feeling in my stomach. I know people with panic disorders, and i know,for sure i never felt like this b4 sub. Day 14 is proving to be difficult, more because im home, and not really doing much. I know i should be but this "jet lag" stuff is Tough. Whatever, every now and then i feel a spark of energy and i come to my senses, so i know this is only going to get better! I have to re-learn how to live all ovet again ugh! I'm going to put a Cold air intake on my new chevy! Everything wil be amazing again!


I'm not surprised at all that you're feeling it more with being off work. Your brain isn't as engaged as it would be and now it has time to "think" about wd's and off to the races it goes. I remember in and around the stage you're at of wishing I had two holes in my head so I could stick two wires in there and shock the living shit outta my brain to make it shut the fuck up, but alas, no holes in my head. Bummer.

I wish you wouldn't skip your workout, man. Even if you can only get to the gym and do a light routine, it's better than wallowing in your jet lag. I sweat heavy in the gym and I bring a towle, always have. I understand hitting the gym and dropping the amount of weights you lift may be hard on the ego, but it's better than no gym at all.

As for the panicky feelings, I'm pretty sure that's just left over nervous system issues from getting those opiates out of your system. When I first got off Suboxone, it felt like my nervous system was shredded. I had to use two hands to eat cereal cuz my one hand would shake too much. It all gets better in time, man. Keep hanging in there and hit the gym!! :D

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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:38 pm 
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Yo dude!!!!! Did ya hit the gym today? I went this morning. My first full week and I am a stiff sore hurtin' unit but it feels good!


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:50 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
m0jitoMan wrote:
I hope so :shock: @Rom. Today's my first day off of work since my jump. It'd be so much easier if i worked everyday. I feel restless, but too... lethargic?? I usually start my workout cycle on sunday, and theres no way I'm working out feeling like this. I'm randomly sweating, and get this wierd Anxiety feeling in my stomach. I know people with panic disorders, and i know,for sure i never felt like this b4 sub. Day 14 is proving to be difficult, more because im home, and not really doing much. I know i should be but this "jet lag" stuff is Tough. Whatever, every now and then i feel a spark of energy and i come to my senses, so i know this is only going to get better! I have to re-learn how to live all ovet again ugh! I'm going to put a Cold air intake on my new chevy! Everything wil be amazing again!


I'm not surprised at all that you're feeling it more with being off work. Your brain isn't as engaged as it would be and now it has time to "think" about wd's and off to the races it goes. I remember in and around the stage you're at of wishing I had two holes in my head so I could stick two wires in there and shock the living shit outta my brain to make it shut the fuck up, but alas, no holes in my head. Bummer.

I wish you wouldn't skip your workout, man. Even if you can only get to the gym and do a light routine, it's better than wallowing in your jet lag. I sweat heavy in the gym and I bring a towle, always have. I understand hitting the gym and dropping the amount of weights you lift may be hard on the ego, but it's better than no gym at all.

As for the panicky feelings, I'm pretty sure that's just left over nervous system issues from getting those opiates out of your system. When I first got off Suboxone, it felt like my nervous system was shredded. I had to use two hands to eat cereal cuz my one hand would shake too much. It all gets better in time, man. Keep hanging in there and hit the gym!! :D


--> yeah man. I have lost some weight, along with some quarters on my bench and squat . Thankfuly, along with my pride, i lost my ego with addiction! Maybe i still have a little pride :mrgreen:

Btw trainer, i wimped out today! I was on a 14 daystraight bender for work and was strung out. I feel soo much bettter than just an hour ago. I couldnt work out if i had to work with animals, ob my feet all day! Thats some ambition you have!!

Bonne núit !


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:07 pm 
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Leaving my ego at the door was one of the hardest things to do when hitting the gym. Several injuries later, I finally got the point and lift for myself now.....no one else. (for the most part. :D )

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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 10:46 pm 
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Day 15
-->Sweating 5/10
->Energy 5/10
-->Stanima 5/10
->Lethargy 5/10
--->Aches 2/10
->Metallic taste 8/10
--->Sleep 1/10 (Sleep is amazing 8) )

Come on day 16!


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 2:42 am 
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Nice! Can't believe it's day 16 already! Judging from your posts, I'm about half way there, as far as getting decent sleep. I was so tired earlier tonight that I thought for sure I would be out by now...WRONG! But, if I do tomorrow exactly what I did today, and what you did today, and everyone else on here who is currently going through it, or has been through it, then it's all good! Congrats on making it this far! Your posts give me encouragement and hope!


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:28 am 
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Day 18. So far so good!. I have nothing to complain about except sneezing and sweating! Its all good. One thing i already notice is that my hair is growing in waves. Its getting thick!! I seen a picture of myself before i took sub, and it was so much thicker than it is now. I'm only 26! I'm soo glad its growing back as quick as it is 8) The main reason i was fed up was because i was physically sick from sub. Sweating was terrible, working out was becoming oddly difficult. I'm almost sure it screwed with my testosterone levels. I have a huge surg in feelings lately too! Before i jumped, i was worked up for nothing. I hope anyone reading the posts on this board feel more at ease when they've had enough. I know many addicts, and i've slowly fell apart with them, and I'm scared to talk to them. Just seeing them is painful. Just four years ago we all had so many things going for us. Now i'm selling cars, and they're literally dying. Two of them are my family. Actually 3. I moved to this area to start over after college, and it sucked me in and spit me out an addict. If i dont get down to the root of my addiction, i know im dead. I've spent 4k at the dentist in the last month! And i have full coverage!! I'm not a victim, i'm just a recovering addict who understand my faults and mistakes, and is willing to do whatever it takes to make a ton of,money and live sober. I feel so happy i came off sub! IMO, i should have quit it 3 years ago, and got on with life but i dobt remember being in the frame of mind to even come close to making that kind of decision . I guess i was high. Maybe not, but life was so bland. I feel bad for anyone who detoxed, and is too fearfull to jump off sub because they had a bad experience with something else. I just typed the most unconstructive paragraph in my life. Oh well! It felt right


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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 7:22 am 
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Hey M0-man! I liked your paragraph! :D Yes, subs lower testosterone (I remember reading "somewhere"?), hence lowered libido for both men and women (and "rebound" drive after detox!! Hurray! lol). Don't look back- I am choosing to believe there was a "good" reason for my habit and my Higher Power was still using me and growing me during that time. I do feel stronger, wiser, and happier today than I can even remember feeling....
You are just a "baby boy" son, and 3 years is a "drop" in your bucket of life. Consider it a valuable "life lesson" and continue to share your knowledge, strength and wisdom with others. I believe that is a bit part of staying sober.
Congrats on your continuing success!!!
BF

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 Post subject: Re: coming off sub!!
PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 5:20 pm 
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Day 20
Well, twenty days and i feel good. No more stomach problems, sleep is normal, the only lingering symptoma are the occasional sneezes and night sweats. The sweating was terrible, but decided to let up yesterday!
Maybr i'll check in again, maybe not. If not, gl to everyone here! Rom, boop, BF, blonde, mama, trainer, rzard., rule and everyone else!


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