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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 10:23 pm 
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I figured I would ask how some other people who have been on sub for near a decade like I have been have done their tapering, & their experiences.
For many years I was on 24mg. The past couple years was down to 8mg, & the past 6 months or so I've worked down to .5 where I'm at now. The drop from 8mg to around 2mg I did over a pretty long time. But the drop from 2mg to .5 now was actually pretty fast. A few weeks, a month maybe.

Is it hard so far? Eh, not really. I have a span of about an hour shortly after waking up where I'll have withdrawal symptoms until I take my daily dose. But keep in mind that back in the day I've had some of the more severe withdrawal symptoms a person could have, off of H or oxy. So compared to that, I feel like I can withstand anything & this isn't too bad. Just annoying if nothing else.
However, I've never been anywhere near this low a dose before, so far so good I guess, but I don't know how much worse things are gonna get. My sub doc, who is very knowledgeable & strict & specializes in this stuff, actually said that I could even jump off at 1mg, maybe .5 if that is tough. Yet I read stories from people online who claim they need to taper down to a spec of dust, & take a month to go from 2 specs of dust to 1 spec! Yet others have successfully jumped off at 4mg or 2mg & had success. However, most people haven't spent a decade on the stuff, every single day, so I'm not sure where I stand.

99% of the days of my adult life have been on opiates. From 17-23 I rarely missed a day of opiates, & from 23-33, it has been sub every day.
My doc did say that jumping off near 1mg might be a little uncomfortable for a few days (although I admit he's probably trying to help out my psyche by putting it that "simply"). I think he is of the thinking to maybe just tough it out for a few days rather than torturing myself with a really slow taper & being a little bit sick every day for months, which I've already been doing. I actually think it is a good thing I've been going through withdrawal for a while now, as that is a sign that my body is adjusting to less & less medication. No pain no gain, as they say.

In fact, even when on 16mg or 24mg, I recall having minor withdrawal symptoms when I neared 24 hours since my last dose. I think the half life of 48-72 hours doesn't seem to apply to me. Although my whole life my body has kicked drugs out of my system very quickly. So I'm not sure if it is just me, or if this is normal.
One thing that I think has helped me to this point is that I do at least 30 minutes of pretty intense cardio just about every day. Plus sit-ups, push-ups, & a couple times a weeks do some weights. I'm in pretty good shape & healthier than I ever was in my 20's. Some stretching seems important too.
Anybody coming off of a drug really better do this. If they don't, no wonder some people might struggle to jump off even at tiny doses.

Bottom line is that I'm not really looking for the path of least resistance here. My plan now is, I've been on .5mg for a few days now, & as long as I feel OK in a few more days, I'll alternate with .25 for a couple days, stay on .25 for a couple weeks, & pretty much end it there. I really don't have any plans to wean on microscopic doses. Hell, even .5 is getting pretty damn tough for me to accurately dose & cut (strips), let alone .25.

Also, having not been high in 10 years, I'm pretty strong in my sobriety. It isn't like I'd crack easily & want to relapse, like somebody only on sub for months or a year might be. & if I did feel that way (which I can never rule out), I know what to do. Since my doc thinks I could jump off now if I wanted, & other people think I need to take dust particles, I'm kinda splitting the difference & willing to drop to .25 before going cold. From the stories I read, I don't know if there is a simple answer for what I should do, as everybody's body seems to react differently to this sort of thing.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 3:57 pm 
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Hi Robx,

I just read your post and thought I would say hello. I am actually really encouraged by your experience so far. I am tapering now as well so I kind of know what you are going through. One major difference is I have only been on subs for 1 year. I am really interested to see how well you do with your jump. I hope that you are not too uncomfortable when the time comes, anyway that is what I am hoping for me. :)

I am down to 2 mg now and will be finished with my taper soon. It actually sounds like our doctors share the same view on how the suboxone taper should work. My doctor also told me I might be a little "uncomfortable" if I was to jump where I am now. What a joke. I respect his medical expertise but he has never felt it so I take his comments with some scepticism.

Oh, I also have started an excersize program the past couple days. Hoping this will help when the time comes to be off the meds. I got one of those gazelle elipticle machines and the hip hop abs dvd's. I don't know much about excersizing but I guess you have to start somewhere. I like the gazelle because it is low impact and easy to do. It gives my legs a good stretch and that seems to be where alot of my pain if focused when I am starting to wd.

Anyway, please keep posting on your experiences. I will be watching, and I believe that you will really help me with your experiences.

Good luck!


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 5:06 pm 
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qhorsegal2 wrote:
Hi Robx,

I just read your post and thought I would say hello. I am actually really encouraged by your experience so far. I am tapering now as well so I kind of know what you are going through. One major difference is I have only been on subs for 1 year. I am really interested to see how well you do with your jump. I hope that you are not too uncomfortable when the time comes, anyway that is what I am hoping for me. :)

I am down to 2 mg now and will be finished with my taper soon. It actually sounds like our doctors share the same view on how the suboxone taper should work. My doctor also told me I might be a little "uncomfortable" if I was to jump where I am now. What a joke. I respect his medical expertise but he has never felt it so I take his comments with some scepticism.

Oh, I also have started an excersize program the past couple days. Hoping this will help when the time comes to be off the meds. I got one of those gazelle elipticle machines and the hip hop abs dvd's. I don't know much about excersizing but I guess you have to start somewhere. I like the gazelle because it is low impact and easy to do. It gives my legs a good stretch and that seems to be where alot of my pain if focused when I am starting to wd.

Anyway, please keep posting on your experiences. I will be watching, and I believe that you will really help me with your experiences.

Good luck!


Well, 1 year is still a long time on a drug & might very well be long enough to make it just as difficult to come off as it would for me.
I will say that so far, making the pretty quick jump from 1mg to .5 has been the toughest. I only did .75 for a few days, so I cut in half pretty quick there.
& today so far is my toughest day. Trouble sleeping last night due to back pain & stiffness. I've always had some back problems, but as I recall they always got worse when I was detoxing off opiates. So hopefully this will come & go soon enough.

Although I should note that all of this is before I took my dose for the day. Sometimes I wait a couple hours before I dose for the day. Not sure why I do that to myself. But obviously if it were horrible I would take it right away. It is all tolerable. Also I could take advil if I needed to. I could see how somebody might have a rough time at this point, especially if they aren't expecting it. I like to prepare for the worst & hope for the best. That is probably a good strategy in this case.
Once I dose for the day, I feel OK for a while. Maybe a little WD starts to sink in before bed, but I still manage to get to sleep.

Maybe doctors are told to say what they tell us? But of course they don't have to go through this. Also I have to wonder if these "uncomfortable for a few days" thing maybe only applies to somebody who wasn't on it very long. I'm curious how many of these docs actually tracked the progress of somebody on the drug for as long as I have been, & some of the doses I was on. I already know that I've been on suboxone by far longer than any other patient my doc has ever had. So I take all that into consideration.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 5:58 pm 
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I just had an interesting observation, & maybe something that everybody coming off sub should think about. I know I never considered this...
The more withdrawal you feel, the more effective your dose becomes. In 10 years being on subs, I can honestly say I never really got any euphoria out of it, not even early on, not even when starting a 24mg dose.
However, today I had the most withdrawal I ever had so far, & an hour or two after taking my .5mg, I actually felt a little euphoria. VERY minor & nothing like how I used to get high back in the day. But its enough that people should be wary of it.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 5:47 pm 
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Hi, I am grateful to read your story. The detail is exactly what I need. I am not at 10 years..but if you count 20 years with an extreme eating disorder layered with alcoholism for a good 25 years, Tramadol addiction for 3 years and now Sub the last 4..well, withdrawal of some sort I am no stranger too.

Anyway, my sub history is last 4 years - inducting at 8mg down to 2mg the first 6months to year. Then 2 years on 2mg then last year on 1mg.

I agree with your observation on the euphoira at such a low dose (excuse my terrible spelling). I experienced this just trying an experiment going from dosing twice a day to 1x a day on EXACT same dose?! I was asked to change my dosing schedule to 1x a day..? I too pushed that morning dose out more and more so my withdrawal in mornings was instense since I was used to waking up and taking my dose right away. Anyway, I ended up dosing at 9:30am each morning (tried to push to later since I was moving to 1x a day but that was latest I could manage with minimal discomfort)..I knew I was in withdrawal as I was sneezing, freezing cold, sweaty and just over all malaise by that 9:30 am time to dose. But, unlike when I was dosing at .5/.5 the first few days after I dosed I felt like I had doubled my dose?! I actually had 2 experiences..first being I had to remind myself I was still at 1mg as the first experience with changing was I felt like i had just dropped 50% (due to having to now experience withdrawal of my drug wearing off sooner in evenings and waking up more without my "juice", but after I dosed an unusual high for a few days when normally I would feel somewhat juiced but not like that.

Anyway, I think when you skip days..post pone your dose..change your schedule..the more withdrawal you experience you are essentially re-inducting yourself and if I have learned anything..next time this happens that is a GREAT time to reduce when you go to dose because it is similar to when I first inducted to sub at all. I was always told to wait to med to heavy withdrawal from my DOC before my first Sub and to try to take as less amount as possible. None of this 16mg like my doc wanted to put me on.

Anyway, I did think to myself that first morning..when I didnt take my 5:am dose..and was going through taking my daughter to school, working alittle, doing everything I could to keep busy (and my mornings include a workout)..that was quite eventful without my juice. When I take .5 at 5am..by the time I wake up at 6:30..I am not noticing any withdrawal to the point it is uncomofortable so that was eventful for me. I wondered the first day I did that it would be great to take less than 1mg and use all that withdrawal to do a partial re-induct at lower dose. Kind of like the skipping days concept.

I didnt do that in this case since I was trying to level at 1x a day first. BTW, I ended up going back to .5.5 for me. I function totally better splitting my dose and dosing down .

Anyway, I agree with your observation. The more withdrawal..the dose effects you more. So I personally am going to use that next time I push my dose back..or go through any unusual delays...I will try to reduce alittle more when I do dose. Because you feel it more..you can most likely get away with less. Keep us posted on your progress.

My status is getting to microdosing before I jump.

For me, I want to not rush it after 1mg. Im not going to rush ..so if I make it to .5..sit for awhile till I feel as comfortable as I do on 1mg. I think alot of people..I think (for me) ..dropping weekly is too fast. Your body needs time to adjust. Anyway...blessings to your progress.


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PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 5:31 pm 
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OK, I wanted to post an update on this. I did decide to get myself down to .25 for a couple weeks to finish off the wean. Now at about 55 hours of nothing, so maybe there are no traces left of the drug at this point. Today & yesterday were a little rough, as I expected. My back is inflamed & having spasms pretty bad, but I have a history of back trouble. Just taking advil & hope that gradually gets better. I do have a lot of the standard withdrawal symptoms, but nothing I didn't really anticipate, & certainly not as bad as I've dealt with in the past when on dope. Honestly I've had at least mild withdrawal symptoms for parts of every day for maybe months now. Will be nice to not have to deal with that anymore.

I've been able to eat OK, even got a little exercise in yesterday but I had to really power through it & not as intense a workout as I'd normally do. Lots of stretching for my back, some reps with weights to keep muscles loose.
Trying to keep busy with my work, luckily I work from home at my computer. Not terribly productive but I'm knocking out what I can.

I think some good things are on the horizon though, just a matter of how quick I can get there. Not being on any medication for the 1st time in over a decade, just mentally I think I'm gonna feel a lot better about myself & maybe a bit of a cloud will lift from me mentally. I know that this stuff can tamp down your emotions a bit & maybe personality as well. I mean, it is an opiate, after all. That is kind of what it does.
Kudos to everybody else who successfully got off this stuff, especially after years of heavy doses. I can't believe I spent so many years on 24mg a day when I might of been fine on like 4mg or 8mg that whole time, if that. Oh well, live & learn. Sub was very new when I got on it, not even my doc could really tell me anything definitive on dosing or long term effects.


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PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 5:53 pm 
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You are my hero.

You have the right outlook for this whole process. I was only on subs for only 6 years but was also on methadone for 2 years before that.. so almost a decade on maintenance. Despite being manic at first (emotions all out of whack,) sweaty, uncomfortable, sleepless, etc.. I was able to find peace in jumping. Just knowing that I was finally going through it and it wasn't at all as bad as I had been expecting, made it easier to deal with. The hardest part was the longevity of the symptoms, not the severity. It took me months to get to a place where I didn't feel like I was in withdrawal of some kind. That got annoying after a while but I always had my eye on the prize and was confident that it would get better, and it did.

Good luck through this journey! How is your sleep so far?


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PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 8:03 pm 
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tinydancer wrote:
You are my hero.

You have the right outlook for this whole process. I was only on subs for only 6 years but was also on methadone for 2 years before that.. so almost a decade on maintenance. Despite being manic at first (emotions all out of whack,) sweaty, uncomfortable, sleepless, etc.. I was able to find peace in jumping. Just knowing that I was finally going through it and it wasn't at all as bad as I had been expecting, made it easier to deal with. The hardest part was the longevity of the symptoms, not the severity. It took me months to get to a place where I didn't feel like I was in withdrawal of some kind. That got annoying after a while but I always had my eye on the prize and was confident that it would get better, and it did.

Good luck through this journey! How is your sleep so far?


Thanks! & congrats to you as well, so how long has it been for you now? Yeah its just time to end this already. I really just want to get past these more acute symptoms, then I'll be ready to tackle any of the longer term symptoms. I'd like to get back into my normal daily routine of things then go from there. Hopefully I can do that by the start of next week but I'm really not putting a time on anything, it takes however long it takes since much of it is out of my control. Being strong mentally here, as you stated, I think is very important. I don't want my mind to convince myself things are worse than they are, which is very easy to do during withdrawal.

I'm hoping for some pros & cons during this process. Like I might have some bad symptoms, but I anticipate some good things starting to happen as well. Truly, as you said, just knowing this is going to be over with soon is a great start & something to shoot for. Then I think once you get over the worst of it, that probably feels good as well even if some mild symptoms persist.

Your thoughts are definitely similar to what mine are, or what I hope they will be. So that is good to hear. My symptoms sound like what you had. Emotions are a little off I think, pretty restless & the pain I'm having doesn't help. I feel like I always have a layer of sweat on me, yet I still have my hoodie on! Goosebumps so bad at times that they can hurt. But since I'm still able to get myself to eat & even getting some work done, I know I've been through much worse. Symptoms can change as this process goes on though, I suppose, so who knows what tomorrow brings.

Oh, yeah sleep is pretty bad. Sleeping became tougher pretty much as soon as I hit .5 or less of sub. Now its worse, which I figured would happen. It is a mixture of 2 things, just the general restlessness that comes with withdrawal, but also my back pain/stiffness as well. Can't really find a position that will let me stay asleep for any length of time.


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PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 2:59 pm 
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(I am in my 10th month off suboxone.)

Pros & Cons.. a quick summary and then I'll link the thread I started when I joined (about halfway down I posted a detailed review of what I was feeling during the weeks and months after jumping..) Obviously, we're all different, so don't put too much stock into what I say.. things could be different for you.

Pros - feeling alive again for the first time in a while. On sub, I didn't realize I was just going through the motions, that doesn't happen to everyone though. Laughing, hearing, feeling.. I felt like it had been years since I had experienced these emotions fully. Even now that I am past the heightened, over-exaggerated manic feelings, I still feel more alive than I have in a decade and it feels good. Another pro was just the relief and excitement of starting a new chapter in my life, learning to live without daily medication. This was something that was important to me and I was ready for it. Enjoying the people in my life, even while feeling shitty and anxious in the beginning of wds.. I still was able to connect to people more than I had been able to in a while.

Cons - Feeling shitty. Dealing with feeling shitty for a while and not knowing when it will end. Having to deal with real life tasks and challenges without a jump start & buffer. Managing cravings when they pop up all on your own. Lack of energy.

(for me, the pros have far outweighed the cons.. )

http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=7498


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PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 4:05 pm 
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Ten years!!!!! A journal of your experience beginning to end as well as after quitting would be extremely valuable to all of us........please use this forum as a journal if you would like I'm sure everybody would like that???


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PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:56 pm 
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tinydancer wrote:
(I am in my 10th month off suboxone.)

Pros & Cons.. a quick summary and then I'll link the thread I started when I joined (about halfway down I posted a detailed review of what I was feeling during the weeks and months after jumping..) Obviously, we're all different, so don't put too much stock into what I say.. things could be different for you.

Pros - feeling alive again for the first time in a while. On sub, I didn't realize I was just going through the motions, that doesn't happen to everyone though. Laughing, hearing, feeling.. I felt like it had been years since I had experienced these emotions fully. Even now that I am past the heightened, over-exaggerated manic feelings, I still feel more alive than I have in a decade and it feels good. Another pro was just the relief and excitement of starting a new chapter in my life, learning to live without daily medication. This was something that was important to me and I was ready for it. Enjoying the people in my life, even while feeling shitty and anxious in the beginning of wds.. I still was able to connect to people more than I had been able to in a while.

Cons - Feeling shitty. Dealing with feeling shitty for a while and not knowing when it will end. Having to deal with real life tasks and challenges without a jump start & buffer. Managing cravings when they pop up all on your own. Lack of energy.

(for me, the pros have far outweighed the cons.. )

http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=7498


I actually do find it helpful to get an idea of what other people have gone through at different points. I actually find it encouraging knowing that some of what I'm dealing with is probably just still WD & should pass in time. It has been sooo long since I've not been on any meds at all that I don't know what "normal" is really like.
My body & brain are not very happy with me right now!

So where am I? Let's see. I think this is day 10 since I last took sub. The more day long WD's pretty much have gone away, the more acute symptoms I spoke of before. But I'm definitely not out of the woods yet, got a few issues nagging me. Back pain is pretty bad. It has cleared up a little bit during the day, but back stiffness when sleeping has been a thorn in my side. I take like 8 advil a day. I do have back issues, but I think they can be mostly worked out in time. For a few days I was blaming back stiffness for not sleeping well, which is my other main issue here. Although it might be even more so the sub WD's that can seem to wake me up at various points. If I open my eyes at all, I'm pretty much screwed & can't get back to sleep.

It seems for a lot of people that sleep might be one of the last things to improve, so maybe this is all normal. But there is a snowball effect with that. Not sleeping well zaps my energy, which makes it harder for me to exercise & get things done, which can affect my back, which can affect my sleep... & so on. I just feel like my body is made of lead sometimes. I do try to power through it, but damn it sure is tough. I think my stomach is still trying to normalize as well, but at least I can cope with that.

Sub was a part of my day for a decade, so I'm certainly not going to be fully recovered within a week or two of not taking it. I also think my body might have yet to start producing natural pain killers. I hope it didn't forget how! As for sleep, I do usually hit a point during the day where I just crap out & have to take a quick power nap for 45 minutes or so. Normally I'm not a napper but I have to take what I can get.
Can't wait until I can get like 6 or 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. When that starts happening I think my body will rejuvenate much quicker & my energy levels will go up.


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PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 3:48 pm 
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Wow rob, you are a trooper!!! Your story is very inspiring for me and im sure others as well. I feel confident in telling you that things will get better, even though i cant speak from expirence because i have yet to come off. Im still at 2mgs and i wanna take it nice and slow. When you give you brain a constant supply of opiates everyday your brain does "forget" how to make its own. So when you stop it does have to relearn how to do that, it takes time, but it will happen. Your brain has had a steady supply of outside opiates for 10 years and now its still being lazy, but as long as your symptoms are improving i think thats a good indicator that relearning.

I think the sleep thing is gonna be the toughest part for me when i come off. Im a sleep whore though and i find it very hard to function right if i dont get enough sleep. Back pain is also an issue for me when i wd, and i cant decipher if its real pain from a real problem or just the wd. When i was about 6 years old i was found to have a moderate case of scoleosis(sp) it didnt really start noticing pain until i was in my early teens, but even though i had some pain it wasnt unbearable or anything, i was always able to deal with it pretty well. Now everytime i wd i get severe back pain, so im unsure if its just the wd or if my problem has progressed and maybe now theres some other issues as well.

Are you taking clonidine to help with your wd right now? Maybe that can help you get more/better quality sleep.

keep on truckin man! As tinydancer said "your my hero" lol


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BeautifulDisaster wrote:
Wow rob, you are a trooper!!! Your story is very inspiring for me and im sure others as well. I feel confident in telling you that things will get better, even though i cant speak from expirence because i have yet to come off. Im still at 2mgs and i wanna take it nice and slow. When you give you brain a constant supply of opiates everyday your brain does "forget" how to make its own. So when you stop it does have to relearn how to do that, it takes time, but it will happen. Your brain has had a steady supply of outside opiates for 10 years and now its still being lazy, but as long as your symptoms are improving i think thats a good indicator that relearning.

I think the sleep thing is gonna be the toughest part for me when i come off. Im a sleep whore though and i find it very hard to function right if i dont get enough sleep. Back pain is also an issue for me when i wd, and i cant decipher if its real pain from a real problem or just the wd. When i was about 6 years old i was found to have a moderate case of scoleosis(sp) it didnt really start noticing pain until i was in my early teens, but even though i had some pain it wasnt unbearable or anything, i was always able to deal with it pretty well. Now everytime i wd i get severe back pain, so im unsure if its just the wd or if my problem has progressed and maybe now theres some other issues as well.

Are you taking clonidine to help with your wd right now? Maybe that can help you get more/better quality sleep.

keep on truckin man! As tinydancer said "your my hero" lol


Yeah definitely take it slow. at 2mg you are getting there though. My symptoms are improving but like tinydancer said, some symptoms might stick around for 2-3 months. My body has always been pretty quick kicking drugs out of my system, which leads to nasty acute wd's but I also would get better quicker than normal.

I'm still a bit miffed at the back pain, or the severity of it despite taking lots of ibuprofen. It is getting better, in my waking hours at least. But I'm also doing a lot of therapy, stretching, almost some yoga type stuff. & I'm still trying to do much of my normal workouts that I was doing before going off sub. Hope it keeps paying off. Time will take care of some things but I have to also help myself where I can just by doing stuff even if I don't feel like it.

I do have to prepare myself for the fact that I probably will have some pain my whole life to some extent, but I can tolerate some pain, always have. I put my body through a lot of trauma when I was younger, shattered multiple car windshields with my head in high speed head on collisions. It is almost bizarre that I survived them, let alone not even a broken bone. Thank my parents for some tough DNA I guess. But there was no getting around some back trauma, I should be glad that is all I've had to deal with & no real structural damage. Just some jacked up muscle & tissue I guess, but thankfully I'm still 100% able bodied.

No I really haven't taken much to help me out. Just advil. I do have a blood pressure medication here that I can take, & I think I did take it like a week ago before bed but I still slept like crap (I think there is just no easy shortcut to dealing with the sleep issue for now). Not clonidine though. I remember taking that stuff a lot back in the day during all my rehab & detox stints. It would knock my on my ass. I stand up, I see purple, I sit down! I guess it did help though, that was better than my heart beating out of my chest. That really isn't an issue now though.

Its really just a restlessness. I can fall asleep easily, but then 4 or 5 hours later for some reason my body thinks its time to wake up, but my brain disagrees. I can certainly handle that annoyance though. I have to remind myself I've been through much worse. Oh, & the good news in all this that I've failed to mention is that I really have had no cravings at all. I think nearly a decade of not getting high has pretty well taught my brain how to better deal with that stuff. & time, time just helps as the years pass. Not saying I'll never have cravings again, but I'm just better at knowing how my own brain works. If I ever fall off the wagon, I know exactly what I'm doing & what I'm in for. Plus, its just time to try life without chemicals. I was like 13 the last time I lived that way in the real world for any extended period of time. & quite liked life back then, so maybe it all works out in the end.


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So, I gotta tell ya, I don't know what's gonna happen here but I'm doin it anyway. I'm 60yrs. Old and I have been an addict since I drank my first beer at 15. Years of drug addiction, heroin, codeine syrup, pills, pot, methadone (10 yrs. in the 70's and 80's), always a high dose, Valium also always a high dose, speed, coke, and qualludes, mandrex, preludin, etc., etc. Locked up regularly. Stealing, possession, robbery, in and out of prison. Got the internal message in 1988 if I don't change I'm gonna be a ward of the state till I die. Started going to meetings in prison, kept it up when I got out in 1991, sober till 2002, big relapse on opiates, sober 2003 till 2007. Relapses both on Vicodin, somas, benzos. Suboxone in 2007. I never got over 8mgs. daily and that was only in the very beginning. 2008-2012 mostly 2-4 mgs. a day and the last few months on less. A 2mg. strip lasts almost a week for me and I'm even almost less than that. NOW, all that to say this...I am scared to go through wd on this stuff. I have kicked methadone three times in jail and prison but the last time for that was 1979. I do want off this stuff and beat myself up pretty bad for still being on it. I've had the experience of recovery and truly owe my life to AA, NA, etc.
I'm encouraged here cause I do believe keeping the secrets adds to the shame. I happen to work in the recovery field so really only my therapist and doc know the complete truth. My plan is to keep tapering. I commit to continue to taper.
Thanks for being here guys. I go back and forth between "I'm making worse than it really will be" and "I've been on it so long it's gonna be miserable." And I do believe in the power of our brains and how it affects our reality. Lots of love, RP.


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 Post subject: Re: Long term user
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 12:55 am 
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Rpmcmurphy wrote:
So, I gotta tell ya, I don't know what's gonna happen here but I'm doin it anyway. I'm 60yrs. Old and I have been an addict since I drank my first beer at 15. Years of drug addiction, heroin, codeine syrup, pills, pot, methadone (10 yrs. in the 70's and 80's), always a high dose, Valium also always a high dose, speed, coke, and qualludes, mandrex, preludin, etc., etc. Locked up regularly. Stealing, possession, robbery, in and out of prison. Got the internal message in 1988 if I don't change I'm gonna be a ward of the state till I die. Started going to meetings in prison, kept it up when I got out in 1991, sober till 2002, big relapse on opiates, sober 2003 till 2007. Relapses both on Vicodin, somas, benzos. Suboxone in 2007. I never got over 8mgs. daily and that was only in the very beginning. 2008-2012 mostly 2-4 mgs. a day and the last few months on less. A 2mg. strip lasts almost a week for me and I'm even almost less than that. NOW, all that to say this...I am scared to go through wd on this stuff. I have kicked methadone three times in jail and prison but the last time for that was 1979. I do want off this stuff and beat myself up pretty bad for still being on it. I've had the experience of recovery and truly owe my life to AA, NA, etc.
I'm encouraged here cause I do believe keeping the secrets adds to the shame. I happen to work in the recovery field so really only my therapist and doc know the complete truth. My plan is to keep tapering. I commit to continue to taper.
Thanks for being here guys. I go back and forth between "I'm making worse than it really will be" and "I've been on it so long it's gonna be miserable." And I do believe in the power of our brains and how it affects our reality. Lots of love, RP.


Wow what a long road it has been for you! But I think I have some good news for you. Well for me, if you read my story I was on sub for nearly a decade, much of that time being on as much as 24mg. Today I believe is 30 days, a solid month of being on nothing. Any physical wd are most definitely gone & certainly the more annoying acute wd's went away after a couple weeks. Then I would start having 1 good day & 1 rough day, which is better than all rough days. Not sure if I'm still back to "normal" yet because honestly I have no gauge as to what normal is for me anymore. I'm still adjusting physically & emotionally, but I wouldn't call that wd.

You are already nearly down to where I was where I jumped off completely. If 2mg lasts a week, if my math is correct that is almost .25 where I jumped off. & you might have been on smaller dosages even longer than I was. As far as intensity of the wd's if you jumped off now, it really isn't that bad. I know you've been through much worse than this will be. Yes it still sucks a little, but you'll be OK. For me it was more the longevity of some annoying symptoms more than the severity.
Sleep trouble for a couple weeks was kind of tough.

I don't know if you have a work schedule or what that is like. If you have a point coming up where you have a week or two off that would be a great time. If not you can just try to power through it. Or other people have even done more extreme tapering to where they might only have a small amount of wd over a longer period of time which might help if you don't have time away from work. For me I didn't want to prolong things any further after I spent a couple weeks on .25mg & I had a nice couple weeks without a lot going on that I took advantage of.

I talk about some wd's, but some good things happen in that time too, even when I was a little sick. Music could really affect me again & stir up a lot of emotion, but in a good way. I almost never listened to music when I was on sub, just didn't do much for me. I feel more social now. My brain is maybe a little sharper & I got some wit & personality back that I knew I lost. & like I said earlier I think all that is still in the process of fully returning. Also some of my body's endorphins are probably still trying to figure out what to do with themselves after being dormant for a long time. Most importantly at this point I think is that I'm definitely feeling overall better than I did when I was on sub, & that was the main goal all along.

So yes you probably are making this worse than it will be in your head. & no you won't be miserable. Miserable is what I would call some of my worst wd experiences. With how far you've already tapered down, I don't think it will fall into the miserable category. I was even able to eat pretty well every day through these wd's. Back in the day during some nasty wd's that just didn't happen.
When you go off, start thinking about the positives in what you are doing & you goals. Focus on that instead of the bad stuff, & some of the good things you'll start to notice along the way. Know that things will just keep getting better. I think you'll be glad you did it & found that some days or weeks of feeling some discomfort wasn't a very big price to pay. & if things do happen to get really bad, I guess you can also go back on sub. I always had that option here, it just never got to the point where I needed to act on that.
Good luck with whatever you try to do!

Rob


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 Post subject: Long term
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 1:11 pm 
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Thanks Rob. On my way OOT till Sunday. I do have a schedule I can take some days off. I have about 2 strips left and will taper more. Yesterday took only a sliver in the am and none till this morn. Noticed at 4 am I was feeling the "body anxieties" and kept telling myself go back to sleep and eventually got up at 0800 looking to 'feel better.' Took another sliver and will go as long as I can today but Im gonna be around a bunch of colleagues and prob will not go all evening without a sliver. That's ok, Im really excited to have some support here even if it is only 'virtual.' I'll report Monday.
Thanks,
RP


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 Post subject: Re: Long term
PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 8:27 pm 
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Rpmcmurphy wrote:
Thanks Rob. On my way OOT till Sunday. I do have a schedule I can take some days off. I have about 2 strips left and will taper more. Yesterday took only a sliver in the am and none till this morn. Noticed at 4 am I was feeling the "body anxieties" and kept telling myself go back to sleep and eventually got up at 0800 looking to 'feel better.' Took another sliver and will go as long as I can today but Im gonna be around a bunch of colleagues and prob will not go all evening without a sliver. That's ok, Im really excited to have some support here even if it is only 'virtual.' I'll report Monday.
Thanks,
RP


Hey RP, it's great to have you here! I'm glad you're finding some inspiration in other peoples' stories and that you can share your wisdom with us.

The best way to make sure that people are seeing your posts is that you "intoroduce" yourseld in the "Introduction" section of the forum. Tell us some more about your history, your goals, your work with addicts, etc. You could also start your own thread in "Stopping Suboxone" section. It would be an easier way for people to see your updates and how you're doing, rather than remembering that we have to go on robx46 to find you. (Of course, robx46, we also want to keep hearing about your progress as well :) ).

Cheers,
Amy

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Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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