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PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:20 am 
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Day 6: Last night was the hardest by far, I could not fall sleep, even though I was tired, this INSOMNIA SUCKS!
I had taken my regular ambien 12.5 CR like I always do and when that didn't work a I found a half a valium and took that, two hours later, still wide awake, probably 3 am so I stumbled through the dark house searching for something to help me sleep and found the klonipin and took .5 mgs of that, STILL NO SLEEP! I can't stand to think of it, it was so bad. Tossing and turning, still have the RLS but I used my T.E.N.S unit and that seemed to help but it was like I had restless body, I read about restless torso and laughed and assumed I had that too, wheeeeew weeeeeeeee, as we say in KENTUCKY, that was a nightmare though.
Finally the sun came up, I was sitting on the diving board and it was a beautiful sight to see, I live in the country on about 6 acres and it was humbling but short lived.
The rest of the day has been up and down, I broke down and cried for about ten minutes in the bathroom with the fan on so the kids couldn't hear and I actually felt a little better after that. My back is hurting really bad, that knawing shoulder pain is killing me also, I keep trying to remember to try the tens unit for that, I will tonight and I'll let anyone who cares to know if that helps with shoulder pain, it's suppose to.
The strange thing for me is that up until the night of day 5 I was doing fairly well, and so many people say they begin to pick up after day 5 so I was caught off guard by how hard it was, that's for sure. Mentally, today has been THE worst, I've been holding back tears all day, I haven't gotten out of bed all day so my poor husband is having to run the house, which is no easy task, we have two teenage boys, 17 and 16 an 8 year old daughter and our handicapped son, he will be five this August. Living on a horse farm there are a lot of things to be done and I don't want to go outside, so my husband's really having to pick up for my slack and that makes me feel depressed too. It's hard to not think, "if I just took a crumb, I could get these clothes washed and the stalls mucked" but no, no. I have to cope the only way I can and sometimes the emotional pain is debilitating. I've taken my ambien, I don't feel tired but I hope I will sleep. Theres a med I found in my cabinet called darvon and I thought maybe I would research to see if it's non narcotic or safe to use for soboxone w/d, maybe it will help. I'm desperate.
Good nite to all! hopefully things will look brighter in the morning.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 2:38 am 
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beautifullybroken,

I know you think I have it out for you, but it isn't true. I am sorry that you are dealing with such discomfort right now. I know from my experience withdrawing from Suboxone...as well as the times during my addiction when I tried to or was forced to quit cold-turkey that the pain, anxiety and insomnia can be enough to convince you that you're about to lose it completely.

I don't know if you have access to it, but Clonidine can really help with a lot of the acute withdrawal symptoms and it might help you get some rest. I would say to use caution when mixing ambien with benzos - ambien is in a class similar to benzos and they might interact or add to each-other's effects in some way. You might want to look into that, just in case.

If you can't get Clonidine (and any doctor with a semblance of a heart should prescribe it to you for what you're going through - it's not a narcotic or anything, and it's very cheap) then you might give benadryl a shot. I don't like it because it makes me grumpy, but sometimes the antihistamine effect can overcome withdrawal insomnia.

If you totally can't sleep, laying in a hot bath or a hot tub can sometimes let you at least rest. It relaxes your muscles and I found it helped a lot with the pain. I would just stay in there for an hour or more, refilling the hot water as needed, with a good trashy magazine or book. I used a heating pad many times during c-t withdrawals with good effect also.

A walk can be helpful if you feel up to it, to try to get out some of the agitation. I also used to walk down to this secluded park by my house and plant my feet, twist my torso back and forth so my arms were a-swinging, and shout at the top of my lungs: I DONT CARE AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME. Yes, this is effing crazy, but it helped.

Whatever else, try to keep in mind that you won't feel like this forever. Everything you're feeling is a result of your body trying to readjust, and you will get there. Don't worry about what tomorrow or the next day might bring - you can't control it anyway, and the only thing you have to live through is this moment. You don't have to torture yourself with thoughts about what may or may not happen. You have already proven to yourself that you could handle it from moment to moment for the past six days.

The things you can control are what you put into your body, and your environment to some extent. I informed my husband that he would be needing to hug me at regular intervals, tell me how awesome I am, and that he knew I could do it. I drank tons of water and Kombucha tea to support my liver through the detox, and tried to eat well. I rented many funny movies and forgave myself for the times I lost my temper, snapped at people, cried at stupid commercials, whatever.

I hope you're able to get some sleep tonight and that tomorrow will bring a little grace your way. Goodnight.

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 Post subject: need sleep
PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:45 pm 
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BB, I remember having the worst insomnia from heroin WD that just made me crazy and I just could not sleep for days, or not more than an hour a day or so and that wasnt' enough. A doctor prescribed trazadone but that barely helped. The suggestions above from DOQ are good ones--some exercise, and also--for me, sometimes taking a super hot bath of shower--really just as hot as I can stand and after that going right to bed will get me to sleep. Exercise, if you can, at least some every day, but DON'T exercise right before bed. If you can't sleep..well, I know that it can turn into a hysterical vicious cycle--you want sleep so bad that you are just getting more agitated about it. I try breathing slowly and deeply and counting my breaths. Meditation of some kind can help--at least get you into a state of dozing which is better than nothing. It WILL pass of course, eventually you will get some sleep...but..insomnia can be a real problem for a while after WD form opiates, I know. As for teh stress you seem to be getting here on the forum, well, honestly, I may well have missed something since I haven't read every word, and also, there seem to be several threads going on that are at least somewhat interrelated and I think I'm having trouble keeping up. I think people can certainly be defensive about sub, and people do have a lot of concerns about cold turkey--well, everyone knows it's HARD, right? And yes, words can be taken wrong and they can come out wrong. Overall though, on this forum, people want to support others. So...sometimes we can take some of the words with a grain of salt, I hope, or give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't think anyone meant to attack anyone else, though like I said, maybe I missed something important. Also, just one more thing..for me, video screens do NOT help with insomnia at all! I know some people can fall asleep with the tv on, or like "white noise" but actually, for me, watching tv or to much time in front of the computer before bed seems to keep me awake sometimes. Just a thought. I'm getting the feeling that needing sleep is getting to a critical point for you and I remember having that happen to me too...so...hang in there, try to remain calm, try to get some exercise, try the super hot bath, and I hope you get some good sleep soon, I know it really is important.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 2:32 pm 
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Day 8: Ohhhh, these days go by so slowly. It feels like it's been a month already. My nights are full of restless agony but I remain determined to see this thing through. My muscles just generally ache all over, for me it's worse than having flu like symptoms as I've heard them described before, for me it's a tightness in my muscles as well as the ache that makes me miserable. Mentally, I'm a wreck, I haven't found one thing to help with that. I suspect my restlessness and sleeplessness obviously have a lot to do with my mental state of mind. I wish so much this could be easier to tolerate. It's not pure agony but it's close. Irritable, I am so gd irritable words can't explain it. I'm in the process of selling my house and a rental property and the rental property is under contract with these buyers from hell. The house is less than 3 years old and was only lived in for one year by our previous renters, so it's not new but not old either. They initially made this ridiculous low offer, which they should be thankful I even countered to begin with, but I did accept a second very low offer and even got stuck paying closing costs, god this market sucks! Well, they had their inspection last week and today they give me a list of BS stuff like they want the broken outlet COVER replaced in the basement, they want the door frame painted... it just goes on and on without one legit item, just BS! I'm certainly not in any mood to be f***ed with right now, I immediately got on the phone with my realtor and told him to tell them to kiss my A$$! He managed to calm me down by reminding me I don't have to agree to this crap, it's just that people are assuming because our market sucks that all sellers can just give away their homes, WE CAN'T!
I'm really sorry for all that, it's just I keep thinking of it and it's, urgh, nm.lol. I have my home on the market also and my realtor told me these people (long story behind THESE people) want to see it this week, omg, I can't even do my laundry, how the hell am I going to make this house look perfect for a showing? Where the hell am I going to draw that energy from? I don't even have the energy to argue with my kids about the dreaded "upstiars" oh lord help me. Is their anything more stressful than selling a house, other than w/d? oh yes there is, selling house with w/d'ing!


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 6:46 pm 
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Hello Beautifully Broken,

I just wanted to say congradulations and let you know you are a very strong woman. I have been reading your posts and your such a inspration to me. I am not ready to stop the suboxone yet but you give me so much hope that when I am ready that I will suceed! I have had some troubles with suboxone but things are going much better now. I have started going to NA meetings and began writing my steps and I really feel I am on the right path now. I really hope someday I will find your courage!!

I want you to know that you are in my prayers and I wish you and your family nothing but the best! God will help you through this, you are amazing!! :D :D KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!!


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 7:24 pm 
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hancal106 - Thank you!
It's good to know I've helped someone have some hope, that makes me feel good.
The NA meetings are a great idea, I've thought about it a lot, it will be something to consider once I get out of this slump.
You will know when your ready, I attempted to quit once before and I wasn't ready. This time was much different, I just knew I was ready. It's almost like going through some of the negative effects of suboxone helped to push me into the realization that I cannot allow this to ever happen again. A thought that kept entering my mind was how long am I going to wait? Once I knew I was ready it just became a matter of what are you waiting for, nothing in life is ever going to be perfect so nows as good a time as any, at least that's what helped push me.

This evening, my newest symptom is an upset stomach, over what, idk. I haven't been eating much at all, I finally ate some yogart and now I feel like throwing up. I'm trying to maintain. I'm tired, very tired and very mentally warn down, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore, just my shitty mental state screwing with me and the fear that I might not get better, it's just there, eating away at me. I am not deterred. I don't care how bad my muscles hurt or how mentally crazy I get I will see this threw. I hope tomorrow is better.


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 Post subject: hello?
PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:49 pm 
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hello beautifully broken,
I was sad to see you hadnt posted on your progress and feelings today. I also quit cold turkey on Thursday so we are virtually on the same track,(i think you are a day or two ahead) but its nice to know that i am not the only human on earth loosing my mind and feeling horrible! luckily i have felt better everyday since day 3. Today i awoke feeling a little less sore and tired. I have gone swimming and taken long walks which i think have helped tremendously! i Just want to know when the major symptoms will end and i was hoping to see a great post by you today :D . Just remember were in this together i am literally in the same boat as you and We can do this!! i didnt come this far just to give up and i know youll have the same attitude. Let me know how you are asap.

Austin

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 2:51 pm 
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Austin- I'm still here! Today is better!
Day 9:
I'm feeling much better today, I didn't sleep through the night but I slept more than I have in days past so I attribute that to feeling better.
My legs still ache, I don't think that will ever stop. Mentally, I'm not crying anymore. I feel hope and that's very good for me. I am of course afraid of what my life will be like now, no matter how much I try to tell myself to take this day by day I cannot stop the looming fear. I think it's normal though. When you invest so much into something the last thing anyone wants to do is lose it, especially when it's your sobriety so I think knowing the threat is still out there and it always will be is just scary in general. Now don't read into that, I'm not craving anything nor do I have any intention of relapsing, I just wanted to explain my fears.
I'm still clammy as hell and sweating a lot and I HATE THAT! The chills are few and far between and I don't have any energy and I'm irritated easily. I generally feel like shit but better shit than days past if that helps clarify.


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 Post subject: Great!
PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 5:24 pm 
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I am having a similar experience with my overall feelings, but am only 5 days off.
It feels like the worst is over kinda but if your legs still ache and your on day 9 im scared.
I think my diet and excercise has helped speed up the process, although today i started having stomach problems.
Can you eat yet? i have only had shakes,cereal, and an energy bar.
I want this to be overrrrr at least the extreme part.
Due to my lack of sleep i feel very wierd mentally. is this insomnia happening to you?

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:49 pm 
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Austin- You know, you just really have to take this day by day. I thought I was home free on day 5 only to crumble with mental and physical issues on day 6. I kept reading w/d story after story indicating symptoms had long since set in for most people by day 5 so I thought for sure I'd just feel better Day 6 and would be on the road to better days but I felt worse day 6 than Day 5. But most people are full on w/d by day 5 so if your like the many before you, then you should be improving from here on out.
oh my appetite, god, this is such an issue for me right now and it's been an issue for me for several days. I can't eat. I have read that most people force food no matter what to help them get better but I cannot do it, I get so sick when I eat I just can't eat. I have mostly been living off an occasional piece of fruit and yogart the latter of which made me sick earlier today and caused for a miserable trip to walmart. I had to get school supplies for my daughter, you know, the thing is no matter how crappy we feel the fact is life goes on and we have to force ourselves up to the plate and it's so hard! I was walking through cramped aisles full of moms trying to read from lists and stand in my way, lol and I began sweating that clammy sweat and my stomach started feeling just bad and urgh it was terrible. My daughter of course is excited to pick out her stuff and I couldn't have put it off any longer if I wanted her open house meet the teacher thing is tomorrow, I hope it goes better, this trip to walmart today is the first time I have left my house since this started, the first time I even walked outside and damn it's hot! My husband was getting groceries on the other side of the store so I finished first and had to sit on a bench inside and wait for him cause I couldn't stand up anymore, I thought I would pass out. It felt good to get back home and I feel like I never want to leave again. I don't really but it was just so bad. I've probably lost five pounds, easily, in the past 9 days.
Yes, insomnia is probably the worst part of it all. I think it's the reason why our bodies feel so shitty, we just need sleep. I don't rest well at all. I've been taking lyrica and I think it's helping but this RLS is for the birds! It's the reason for most my problems or whatever causes it, this dopamine problem, I lay awake at night thinking about dopamine and why it's so important to me lol. I just want to feel good again. so bad. I'm ok if I just sit but if I start moving I feel dizzy and just like crap but there again I have no energy because I have no food. Your doing the right thing by eating, I think I would feel better if I could eliminate the starving my body of essential vitamins and minerals. I just can't. Strangely, drinking fluids is upsetting my stomach too, so while I always have a drink next to me I barely touch it all day, once again, I just can't.
So, summery, my stomach hurts I have no appetite, my muscles ache and cramp and feel tight, I feel mentally worn out and I have occasional thoughts of, "how am I going to live like this forever" even though rationally I do not believe it will last forever and I am very very clammy and my back hurts. Yep, good times. But, through it all, I remain determined to see it through no matter what and I never ever want to go through this again. I told my husband earlier this is the worst I've ever felt in my life, ever and if I live to be one hundred years old I will never forget it.


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 Post subject: Day 10
PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 10:48 am 
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Day: 10 I feel pretty good this morning, considering I didn't get to sleep until 4a.m but I did sleep until 10:30 a.m so I got some sleep. I hate this insomnia. I just lay there trying to sleep and my mind keeps running thinking and worrying about everything under the sun.
My legs were still aching but not as much as normal, just enough to bug me but I can tell it's getting better.
I don't feel clammy right now but the day is young so who knows what's to come. I believe I'm on the road to recovery at this point, I hope.


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 Post subject: HEY
PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:09 am 
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Hey again, i am so sorry about how the past few days have been. Having to manage those types of situations must have been very tough mentally.
I have began to eat cereal daily(i find that easy to stomach) along with tonnnnnns of vitamin supplements, fruit, and even soup last night!
I am telling you even though it feels like you cant YOU NEED TO EXCERSISE/MOVE/GO OUT
The thought of this sickened me but everyday since ive started walking, swimming, and today im even going to the gym the symptoms get DRAMATICALLY lessened!
The only real problem i am having what so ever on Day 6 is insomnia, which in turn affects me mentally in a negative way.
But working out is the only way to get dopamine going again so i figure the harder i push it everyday the sooner ill sleep 5 hours then 6 then back to normal!
I like you have run into Stomach/GI problems during this later part of the detox. I am waking up with gurgly stomach and feel horrible but no nausea yet.
Well i am glad you are feeling better but go get those legs movin! two days ago i thought id kill myself and its honestly hardly noticeable what so ever. working out has sped it up for me soo much
Good luck keep in touch
Austin

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 Post subject: Day 10 - Feeling Good!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:14 pm 
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Austin- That is so great to hear! Most people do get better after day 5, I must be the exception to the rule. Leave it to me.

On the bright side, since I've taken my adderall and woke my ass up I actually feel good today, I'm feeling the clammy a little still, I have a feeling that side effect may hang around a while, but I feel pretty darn good today, I'm afraid to say I think I'm over it but i honestly feel like it. My legs are not sore, cramping or achey and I can't notice any symptom right now, I even have an appetite today and was able to eat this morning which is probably making a big difference. I am so relieved right now, I don't feel weighted down, that wasn't necessarily a symptom of my w/d but a symptom I have been dealing with since beginning the subs. I feel lighter today than I have in almost two years, no more walking through wet concrete as I've described it so many times. I feel like I want to do something!!! Like I mentioned when I began this, my mental state was very depressed during my sub treatment so I'm extremely excited to get a glimpse of ME today!! Even if I can't physically do something it's important for me to that I want to do something mentally. I'm happy about that, happy is not a word I would have used to describe myself in a long time. I'm just going to live in this moment today as long as I can and hope it sticks around forever.


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 Post subject: RE
PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:36 pm 
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Thats terriffic! I totally agree about not ever reallly feeling myself on suboxone and am hoping in the next few days to actually feel myself again like you described. Thats so inspiring, because in the later days the mental part is the toughest sometimes and like you said if your having a good day/moment just take it and move foward :D
I am actually glad we went Cold Turkey, it may be the only way for me to actually realize what i am compromising health wise when taking any type of drug. It was going to hell and back but i can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

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 Post subject: Day 10 - Guilt
PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 2:51 pm 
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We have a lot in common in the field of addiction. I feel the exact same way. As much as I hate what I've had to endure over the past several years of battling this shit It's a good thing it ended with a painful message.

It's 2:31 pm on Day 10 and despite the fact I didn't get a good nights sleep I feel pretty good! I have been moving around all day. Although I haven't gone outside I have done a whole lot of house work including sweeping, vacuuming and mopping my floors! And that's no easy task as most of us know. My husband was shocked when he came home this afternoon and found me washing our bedding and folding clothes. He's had to handle so much for a long while, I feel bad but at least I'm coming back. I feel the need to take care of everything again, I had lost that for so long. I know I initially came here reaching out for someone to understand my depression and lack of enthusiasm for life and it's so amazing to be feeling enthusiasm. Nobody understands what it's like to lose that until they have. For the past year if not longer I have been brain dead, it's just been so bad. My husband would say, "c'mon let's go check out the garden" my response, "I don't really care about it", repeatedly trying to help me but not being able to get thru to me had to be hard for him. I just only realize it now. I mean I knew it was hard on him having to do a lot more with the house and kids but I didn't think about how hard it must have been to emotionally disconnect from the person you loved and married and chose to spend your life with. He is such an extravert too, I'm totally opposite, I've never been a big people person but he leveled me out. When we first met, 10 years ago we did so much together, even after we married and had our daughter we enjoyed the military life and all the friends we had when we lived in housing, def the best years of my life. I did everything, my husband coached all of our kids games, football, baseball, we loved being out and involved, loved spending times with our neighbors on the back porch smoking cigarettes, drinking and listening to music...I don't know why I regressed so far back. Point is, I lost it. All of it, I have been a completely different person since this started and I hate that I put him through losing the person he loved over my stupid f**king addiction to damn pain pills! Ugh! Who knew the guilt that would come with sobriety? I think a lot of people have actually talked about losing friends and family on here now that i think about it, I just didn't realize I was one of them until now.
I'm not depressed or anything, I'm relieved to feel these feelings and know that I'm coming back slowly, it's amazing, I just have to take the good with the bad.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 9:58 pm 
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It's been a great day, I can't complain. I mean considering all that I've been through the past ten days I'm just so glad to be over it, to know that I'm over it. ohhh, what a relief.

My knees still hurt, but I've had fibromyalgia for several years, I can bare it. My head is clearer than it's been in a long time. I can deal with stress without crumbling now.'My stomach is feeling fine, I've been able to eat without a problem. I'm still a bit concerned about that damn restless body crap, it's a lingering side effect. My head feels find so I don't know why it's still here. I just feel a little achey in my legs and arms and body but not too bad, it just bugs a little, seems to be worse in the evening and night.

Hopefully I will sleep. I hate laying there thinking and thinking, it's almost like my mind won't stop, it won't just relax and fall asleep.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:31 am 
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Day 11- I looked forward to this day for so long, having heard most people feel better by this time. And I'm thrilled to say I feel recovered from this today. I do have some lingering side effects, aching legs is one of them, it's much much much milder than it was to begin with, I can total tolerate it, but I still feel it and I also have some insomnia sticking around, I"m able to get about 4-6 hours every night.

Otherwise, I feel great. No more debilitating side effects from my sub w/d's!! YEAH

While this experience was terribly hard, I would still like to say, looking back, it's totally doable. If you can just continue to remind yourself that it really does END and just try to make it to Day 10 - 16 and you will have relief, this does not last forever. I can't imagine why some people have the experience of several months of hard cord wi/d symptoms, that just doesn't make since. I think it's def the exception to the rule. So don't worry about that, just believe in yourself try to stay positive.

I think I'm done posting my w/d's. I've been feeling pretty darn good the past couple of days and I only plan on getting better everyday from here on out. I'll come back in a couple of months and post an update, just to report on my sobriety and how it's going. THANK YOU, ALL of you, you've been a great support to me, I really appreciate it. It hasn't been easy and I don't know if I could have made it without talking about it to people who understand.

Good Luck to every last one of you here. I hope you all continue your sobriety with or without the help of suboxone.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:55 am 
BB.....Well, you sound really good! I'm so glad for you! I know this hasn't been an easy time for you, but you have made it and it sure has been nice to be able to follow your experience here. So thank you for posting it!
I really hope you won't disappear from the forum. I, and I bet many others would love to have some follow up from you on how things go over the coming weeks and months. I'm especially interested to see if the mood difficulties you were having on Suboxone completely resolve with being off of the medication. And I'm also quite interested to see if you have any trouble with PAWS symptoms.
You mentioned the aching legs.....gosh, that was one of my worst withdrawal symptoms coming off pain meds, they just hurt so bad! I even notice that particular symptom now and then as I continue to decrease my Suboxone dose. Interesting how some symptoms are so prevalent in some and not in others. But, yes, PAWS is what I wonder about the most. I'm working my way down very slowly, been stuck at ~1mg/day for quite a while, but will soon attempt to decrease further and eventually get off completely. I'm hoping to escape PAWS, as that is the main reason I started Suboxone in the first place after quitting full agonists a couple of years ago.
I hope that will not be a problem for you at all and it certainly may not be. Especially since your reason for quitting Sub was, in large part, the very symptoms of PAWS that are so debilitating for so many of us. In fact, I can almost hear in your posts that as the days have passed, your mood sounds better and better. So hopefully, for you, your moods will continue to improve with being off the medication. I certainly believe that everyone can be different in regards to how they react to buprenorphine over time. It is a very powerful medication, no doubt.
Anyway....really just wanted to say that I'm happy for you and glad you're feeling better. And, again, thanks for posting your experiences!


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:35 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:36 pm
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Location: Wisconsin
Wow, I'm sort of surprised to see that you are all ready to leave us at this point. Let me first of all say that I am very impressed that you have made it through this and have landed on day 11. That was no easy task. In fact I'm not sure I could have done what you just did. I think I would have just been way too tempted to end the suffering and take at least a little bit of Sub. You should be very proud of yourself.

I agree with you that you are clearly over the hump. From everything I have seen from others in your situation, the worst really should be behind you. That said, a whole bunch of people have had up and down periods for the first month or two. They seem to have two or three pretty good days followed by one or two that were not so good. I certainly hope that you feel just as good tomorrow as you did today and that it continues but I would be surprised if that were the case. If it is, you should really consider yourself very lucky as it doesn't seem to be the norm.

I know that you are really hoping that it's all behind you and you can just come back and tell us how great you are doing in a month or two but I wonder if it really will be that "easy". I guess, if nothing else, I'm asking if you might consider updating at least once or twice a week. I can tell you that if you continue to tell us you are continuing to feel better each day, it will be a huge inspiration. And even if that's not the case, it will be nice to know what is ahead for those of us who plan to stop Suboxone at some time in the future. If nothing else, and you do have some bad days, you may actually be glad to come here and talk about them.

This PAWS crap scares me the most. I have just seen too many people at the place you are at now only to have it not be as smooth as they hoped as they went forward. Again, you may very well be the exception to the rule. I hope that's the case. Either way, I'd really value hearing how the next weeks go for you. I hope you'll consider returning once or twice a week to keep us all updated.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 1:35 am 
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setmefree,
Thank you for everything, you have had a lot of great advise and I really appreciated all of it.
As for the PAWS, I never had them. I had no problem stopping my doc, I had no difficult w/d's from it at all. I started the subs because I just couldn't stop going back to it. I assumed this would be a great way to stop. But PAWS I have know idea what that feels like. Are you saying that some people experience PAWS during suboxone treatment, just as a result of suboxone? WOW, I had no idea, that is crazy, maybe that has been why I've been so depressed, I'm so glad to get off of them, they just weren't doing me any favors. I will come back and post, I just wanted to have something to contribute and at this point, I feel pretty good. If I have any sudden changes or anything happens I will let you all know.

donh-
Have you ever tried to stop taking subs? If not, don't let fear control your thoughts about it. I mean if your not ready to stop, thats one thing, but if your ready, don't let fear be the reason to keep you taking them, that could turn into years of taking a medication you don't feel you need and that's not why any of us started this med. PAWS or no PAWS it ain't gonna get any easier as time goes by.
Lucky is not a word I would ever use to describe myself, you obviously haven't read too much about me or you would never use me and the world lucky together. But yes, I am clearly over the hump, I'm certain of that, I know what the hump is very well, I have just been through several days of pure hell, the worst experience of my life to date. Yes, I'm over the hump and what I'm saying is that I know from this day forward I will continue to get better, a bad day here or there, well, that's life, as long as I don't have to go back to pre hump, I'll be OHkay.
I've said it a few times but it's worth saying again, I'm glad it wasn't an easy experience, I'm glad it had a painful ending I needed it. If I have to put up with some off days here and again that's ok, it should work as a good reminder why to stay the hell away from pain meds, that's the way I view it. But If I do have an exceptionally bad day I would be happy to come here and talk about it, you folks are the only ones who understand how I feel. I'll try to keep updating at least once a week.

As a final note, don't allow fear to control you, get mad about it, thats what I do. I wish you the best with your continued sobriety. I hope my experience can give you hope that when your ready you too can do it.
Take Care-


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Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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