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PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:23 pm 
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TGIF bitches!!!

Check out this link, it's called "The Count Censored." The Count from Sesame Street has a potty mouth!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:41 pm 
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TGIF Bitches!!! Was the best thing I've heard all day, till I watched that YouTube with my phone hooked up to my car radio...LMFAO!!! Childhood ruined!


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:25 am 
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Going to do days 9 & 10 write-up combined tomorrow. I'm exhausted, and have the ability to get lucky! TGIF and have a great night everyone!


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:44 am 
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well, that's ALWAYS FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

TGIFF!!!!!!

and good for you, WTBF!!! everything,,,, good for you on ALL OF IT!!!!! yes, even the gettin' lucky......get those normal
"feel good" cells GOING my brotha!!!

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 6:18 pm 
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Missing Missy is just about the funniest bit ever! I nearly peed my pants when I first saw it! You keep plugging, WTBF! You're doing awesome!!!

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 5:01 pm 
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Thank you Amber & Amy

I've had a lot of feel good cells going on the past few days. Wanted to distance myself from thinking constantly about subs for 2 days, but I'm back and I owe some information!

Day 9 & 10 & 11 - Day 9, I achieved sleep! I got about three hours which was an absolute god-send. I've tried just about every over the counter medication & they all pretty much suck. Clonidine is absolutely I'd say neccesary to make a cold turkey quit. Unless you feel able to do 10-15 days without sleep. Which absolutely sucks. Woke up, had minor anxiety nothing huge. The day absolutely dragged by. This entire week had felt like a Damn month. But I made it through the entire week! And I'm happy!! Absolutely thankful I made this decision to quit. It was rough at first but It's gotten progressively better. By the day. A little bit of depression still, and I feel quite lazy and unmotivated, but I'm able to laugh, smile and have very nice and ohmygod feelings I haven't felt in sex for years. It's like I was numb this entire time. My wife is just gorgeous. ( being 22 helps ;).

Day 10 & most of 11 - its been cake. Averaging 6-8 hours a night of sleep, waking up when my son wakes up. Better than everything, waking up exhausted!! I missed the feeling! Feeling Normal! I'm depressed my Packers lost...but other than that this has been an amazing weekend. I've spent time with my family, I've gotten drunk with the wife. I've gotten exercise and I've been lazy often. Just like old times. I enjoy my son more. I'm getting feelings like the first time I ever saw him. I'm very excited as I look to the future. By no means do I feel this ordeal is over, but I feel better than anytime during this process.

Checking out, WantToBeFREE!


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 7:35 pm 
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WHAT!!! You're a Packers fan?? Had I known that I would have never suggested Clonidine to you, I would have probably told you to try massive doses of caffeine!! BTW, don't even try getting me to tell you that I'm a Titans fan. I would never admit in public that I'm a Titans fan cuz they suck so bad!!

All kidding aside, you should be real careful with alcohol or any other substance of the sort. Your addiction is always searching for another way to bring you down. I'm not saying you can't ever drink, I just want you to be honest with yourself as time goes by and be open to the idea that alcohol may become an issue.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:27 am 
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Hahaha, Well atleast both of our teams are now in the Exact same place....The Couch! I hate COUCHES!

Well Feel better about being a Titans Fan. I'm from Jacksonville FL and the family has Season Tickets to the Failguars. Even when we manage to be horrible, we can't quite win the first overall pick. Quite Dumb. But I do get to see CJ 1/2k atleast once a year ;).

I absolutely agree with the alchohol and any other type of pleasures that substances can offer. It was during the Packers game we drank. Only way I could get my cheesehat on in public and start doing DISCOUNT DOUBLE CHECKS in public. Was quite awesome. I agree with continued use it could definitely become a problem. Have you read about the W/D you get from that dependance over a long period of time? *shiver* no thanks.

I'll admit I've tried everything I've been able to too, except H. Never would let myself get there. I viewed the generic doctor versions as being a "not as bad thing". Pffft. Nothing has held the same effect over me as Opiates, even long term use of a few of the others. ( But I'm not closeminded to think none of them ever can, promise. )


Day 12 - I went to sleep around 12AM last night. My son fell asleep around 10:30. Had some very amazing fun time with the wife right before bed. ( I really think this is the magic cure to sleep problems ). ZONKED out. Fell dead asleep till about 5:30am. Son was still sleeping. Rolled over, cuddled my wife and passed BACK out. How does that feel for normal? Woke up at 6:45 (after snoozing twice ) - Yes I needed to snooze, because I felt TIRED. I didn't feel like some weird zombie creature that's just magically awake ALL the time. I loved it. I hoped in a super hot shower, and rushed like a mad man to brush, floss, rinse, throw on clothes, run out the door! Absolute rushing to work which would normally cause anxiety and It didn't. I feel great.

Got to work at 7:30 exactly on time. Ended up walking in with a big smile on my face because the security guard made some comment about how, Happy Monday, Just Kidding, Monday's Suck. Everyone starts asking me If I've slept. Which I happily nod and explain. As I'm sitting here at 8:00 waiting for the real day to start I can't help but be Optimisic. My Back still hurts, my joints definitely hurt, I've still got some lingering depression going on. But overall, I'm happy. I've been sleeping. I've been able to make it to work and function. I don't need to panic about getting more suboxone. I don't need to let it control me anymore. I don't need anything ( Other than maybe non-addictive clonidine to function! ) I feel like a normal part of society again. I am very happy I've stuck to my guns and made it this far in my progress.

It's unknown If I will be one of the perennial month sufferers of PAWS. I sure hope not, and I sure have been feeling marginal improvement by the days. It's a little unknown. I already feel like I've fought tooth and nail for a month, not sleeping for that many days makes time stop. You are literally stuck in a twilight where one minute feels like an hour. One hour feels like a day. Eventually though either medicated or not, you will achieve sleep. That's when things really change for the better.

This has been an eye opening experience. I once did the 4-5 Short-acting Opiate W/D and It was not as bad as this. Not anywhere close. With that W/D I was sleeping Naturally by day 5. By day 10, I had absolutely no issues. If you're reasoning for getting Suboxone is to avoid W/D I would highly suggest agaisnt that, If your goal is to eventually be rid of everything, take the 4-5 WD's.


"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."

One of the best Quotes that got me through everything.

You can be FREE if you put your mind too it. Have a great Monday everyone!

-WantToBeFREE


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 6:06 pm 
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One W/D symptom has been magically predictable. IBS. Fuck I hate this lol. If you forget to take immodium kiss your ass goodbye.

Y U NO LET ME ENJOY #2 SUBOXONE!!!

-EDIT

On a different and still gross note. Do yourself and your significant other some life enrichment. Go and buy baby wipes. This will change your life forever when it comes to bathroom time. I mean absolutely life changing. You will look to the ceiling and say THANK YOU WTBF! THANK-YOU.

;)


-WTBF


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 6:31 pm 
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LOL, that's a big 10-4 on the baby butt wipes!!!

My first two or three weeks of detox, it was like gasoline mixed with dirt coming outta my butt at warp speed and needless to say, it irritated the heck outta my nether regions. Toilet paper felt like sand paper "down there" and my awesome wife finally suggested the baby butt wipes. Tears of joy streamed down my face after my first wipe with the baby wipes!!

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:03 pm 
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I love baby wipes!! Regardless of what's happening downtown, if you know what I mean. I keep them stocked in both bathrooms and now my DH is addicted too.

:D


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:17 pm 
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Gasoline, Dirt & a spark everytime it happens LOL!!

After like two days I was like Alrighty I've had enough of the sandpaper I'm trying your paper little buddy! Tear of joy couldn't be anymore true Haha.

Day 12 Continued... Feeling quite good. Zero depression right now & I had a surge of motivation that I pray continues. I was so estatic I got home hefted my little mini-me ( well mini my wife according to her...) Onto my chest and walked a mile while he rambled his baby nonsense the entire way.

I feel 100% normal right now. No pain, no aches, no anxiety and a great mood. I want to run and jump and tell the world. I'm not getting ahead of myself thinking I'm cured but this is an absolute lifting of everything that's been bothering me. I'm hopeful it concludes with some amazing fun time & sleep...Haha.

Being positive no matter how I feel has been absolutely imperative. The change from how I felt from day 4, no from being on suboxone period is just amazing. I feel human! I had almost a natural high walking around the neighborhood! My back got a little sore towards the end of the walk, but I'm pretty sure it would have sober. He's heavy. I sat down for a few minutes and the soreness is gone.

Absolutely want to throw a thank you out there to the constants throughout my short journey. You three have consistently checked in and helped motivate me through the rough patches.

Romeo - You deserve an award. Seriously. Where can I send the gift basket! Seriously. Every single day I look forward to checking this post and I'm so grateful for you making me laugh, addressing things with comedy when they suck. Absolutely cannot express how much It's helped.

Amber - You have constantly checked in as well. You've made me feel better through my inbox and through this thread. You're going through such a difficult fight yourself yet still dedicate so much time to helping others. Absolutely amazing.

Amy - You made me realize how stupid and childish I seemed being so gun-Ho against suboxone. I needed it. I at first thought these forums were a mission from jebus against the devil strips. I was wrong ;). You've consistently checked in and offered advice. You made me think about things in a different way. Something I didn't quite agree with on day 5 when "Omg this sucks I'm literally dying!!!" Was happening. Haha. It feels like years ago. Creepy.

Everyone else thank-you also! Each and every reassurance, offer of support and overall good will, won't ever be forgotten by me.


Alright enough serotonin being released. 3 hours till 13 days! The week of the teenager!

Bring It On!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:19 pm 
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Haha Tiny you're absolutely a genius as well than. This should be an announcement on the news. Baby wipe companies deserve more publicity. Charmin ain't got nothing on Gerbers!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:07 pm 
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my household has been using the "pullups flushable wipes" since my son began potty training
a couple years ago....
yes, he's done potty training, but the WIPES remain..........LOL

I remember, buying them cuz I thought HE would have better luck with that,,,,
then my husband was like, WE should buy those ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL

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hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:10 pm 
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My favorite are the Huggies Natural Care wipes.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:19 pm 
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Hell yeah dude, keep on keeping on! I do live in Jacksonville Beach small world huh?!? And here I though I was the only person in this town getting their act together 8) . You my friend are kicking some serious butt! I mean seriously....I had a hard time sleeping for a while after stopping from a very small dose. I can't even imagine the insomnia you've been going through. It does become like some weird f*ed up science experiment...but you gotta laugh it off and you seem to be good at that! Anyway, just wanted to let you know I'm still checking in and pulling for you! You've got this cat in the bag now just gotta keep your spirits up and squirts down!! I'm going to shoot you a message with my #...if you need anything at all give me a holler brotha.
-Phillip


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 11:47 pm 
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Hey Andrew,

I guess it's about time you and I had the "birds and the bees" discussion. I'm guessing because you've said you've already read some of my other posts that you already knew at some point I would talk to you about recovery.

Well, here goes....getting off opiates (drugs) and staying off opiates are two different skill sets. For me, getting off drugs was all about hanging on by my fingernails until things got better. Once I got clean and started feeling better, it wasn't long before the cravings started and I was woefully unprepared for them. I thought that just making up my mind not to use again was enough....and it was enough for a few months, but eventually my addiction beat me.

I used to think I could outsmart my addiction and that my stubborness would keep me clean. Well, using my brain to try and outsmart my brain didn't work so well and my stubborness, as handy as it is sometimes (LOL), didn't work so well either because all it takes is ONE momentary lapse of reason and OFF YA GO!!!

I certainly do NOT have all the answers when it comes to recovery. However, I do know that it's necessary for me to stay clean and I'd encourage you to look into recovery too.

As for sending me a gift basket, thanks for the sentiment, but don't waste your time, I'd just throw the stupid thing away. I'm a guy, send me POWER TOOLS!!!! :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 1:29 am 
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Baby wipes unite! The mission has begun!

Southjax, thank you buddy. I appreciate you checking in, and I'm definitely keeping on and husslin through this crap. Small world indeed! We must be the only ones in jax getting clean! This city is horrible. Florida and the pain pill crisis. Atleast the FEDS are cracking down finally. It's way to easy to get shit around here. Bravo to you as well man. It's definitely tough around here! You also keep kickin buddy and keep posting! This is great for any recovery!

Ahh Romeo bringing me back to Earth once again. Haha, I know of the beast you speak of. I quit the oxy once cold turkey and stupidly thought I could do it again, "for fun". Well that didn't last, one month later I've got 100$+ a day up my nose. I feel after this horrific experience that I never want to risk going through this again. I'm not big on the AA NA meetings. I hope to continue with being around here to address any further problems. I don't think an addict ever one hundred percent learns, but I feel I've developed a little bit of a phobia of doing this again. Similar to how I feel about mushrooms after a horrible trip.

So far I've got no cravings. I've got a lot of "fond" memories, however I associate them with a Retarded friend and the fondness drifts away, quite quickly. You're absolutely right it takes one lapse of judgement and off you go. Absolutely trashing your recovery.

I've removed all sources of getting my addiction. I threw my dealer under the bus, ( don't rob people, idiots). I've got no real way to obtain things even if I wanted to. It's definitely the one offs I've gotta be wary about.

I'm enjoying being sober. I don't want the feelings to end. I feel I've lost a large portion of my life to this shit already. I don't want to miss a single minute in the future. Recovery is different for everyone and I feel were quite similar in thought process. If i had codine pills I'd probably garble 14 and end up in the hospital ( Again ) for tylenol poisoning. ( loved that, 15k medical bill).

I'm planning to lean heavily on my wife. She's so anti pain pills. She's never felt a withdrawal, she doesn't quite understand it. I do know she never wants to experience this again, and will be absolutely disgusted if I fall back into this. I love that about her. I never need to hide anything, but at the same time I can tell when she's disappointed, something I hate to see.

I'm rambling, I've got birds shitting on me and bees stinging me, but I'm still kicking. I'm sure in 2-5 months from now you'll see a post about my will being tested. I really think I'll be able to resist. I sure believe so anyhow.

Pffft I was going to send you a basket of baby wipes and fiber pills, best gift ever ;).

Haha, ill write up today & tomorrow, tomorrow.

I can say this though, 14 days! Wow! Who saw that coming ;)!

Goodnight Suboxforum!

WTBF!!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 1:54 am 
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WantToBeFREE wrote:

So far I've got no cravings.

I'm enjoying being sober. I don't want the feelings to end. I feel I've lost a large portion of my life to this shit already. I don't want to miss a single minute in the future. Recovery is different for everyone and I feel were quite similar in thought process. If i had codine pills I'd probably garble 14 and end up in the hospital ( Again ) for tylenol poisoning. ( loved that, 15k medical bill).



WTBF!!



FIRST
I have to say AWESOME JOB

but YOU KNOW that, already...... or you should by now!!!

second, Im just going to tell you,,, my first few months, on suboxone, I was like "aaaahhhhhh"
it was this HUGE WIEGHT lifted OFF my chest, I could breath again,
I didn't have to hustle first thing every single morning, finding a way to get my shit, another day......

RECOVERY was my "bright new shiny thing"
that I showed off to everyone, talked about all the time, told myself, thank god I got out ALIVE,
with half my brain,.......... LOL

then, something happened......
I dunno, I got bored????
I just went to work and paid bills, and it was like WTF???
this is NO FUN, no FUN AT ALL MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and to ME, it felt like the "honeymoon stage" had ENDED and I had woken up next to the ugliest thing ever, that I was NOW
married to. or something????
am I making sense???

I made it, though...... without using!!!!!

I just want YOU to prepare yourself, cuz I never saw it coming.
the baby may try your nerves,,,, kids do that ya know...it takes a bit, but IT WILL HAPPEN... doesn't mean you love them
ANY LESS, it just means, YOUR HUMAN< and even moreso, a SOBER HUMAN.......
and the bills keep coming,
and you might ask, where did the rush go???

anyways
I want to see you SUCEED..... and do well, and beat this Freaking thing!!!!!!!!!!!!

so I wanted to give you a head's up on THAT one..... that is one monster that keeps coming BACK for me,
every so often,,,,
Im like WHAT AM I DOING THIS FOR????

then I remember,,,, where I came from.
that Im getting ready to file ch 7 bankruptcy because of medical bills, mostly.
and that I have DENTURES at age 31, because dope pretty much rotted all my teeth.
and Im like
OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH
that's why I quit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hang in there, bro :wink:

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its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 8:47 am 
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Haha Amber boredness probably is one of the major factors to watch out I think you're absolutely right. When I sit down and think of the first time I quit about a year ago, I instilled in my mind that it would only be once, just for fun. Etc etc, bullshiting myself. Zip zap ( waives my David blaine wand) and youre a full blown addict again.

I think me and my wife had some great times with them. Some even better times without them. She's always been strong and not influenced by anything we took. I wish I had that mental ability when it comes to opiates. I guess Roxys were my doc. They absolutely beat me down and made me fear jumping off. Suboxone just disguised that fear and made me think everything was gravy.

I remember the day I rimmed my junkie ex friend. He was trying to push me to do heroin, I refused and begged and pleaded to find suboxone. He would always tax me to get anything. But he finally relented and found me suboxone. That's when I no longer needed him, and could get my own new doc.

I think that moment in time is one of my better judgement calls. As my pathetic friend tried justifying needles, cheaper drugs (H) that are more potent I didn't want to be apart of that. I couldn't imagine doing that to my family, people that love me. That was the first day I felt I wanted to stop. I didn't want to do this anymore. That guy? Still a junkie, likely to OD anyday now. Me, sober happy and optimistic about the future.

Best feeling in the world :)

WTBF!


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