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PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 9:58 pm 
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Hey guys,

My first day visitng the site, and I'm eternally grateful that I did! Little Miss Perfect is ready to admit that I.... and nobody else... is perfect or immune to addicition issues. I've been using subs for over a year and a half to overcome a hidden addiction to pain killers. Although this hurdle wasn't in my master plan for my life, I've decided to embrace it and attempt to learn from the ordeal. I am hopeful that I will be able to educate myself in subs and related issues and pull some strength from all of you. Both the pain killer addiction and my sub use have caused some unique issues that I struggle with on a day to day basis. As a young woman that is lucky enough to have a great career, I've recently faced the issue of drug testing as a prerequisite for a government contract that my company obtained (and I would oversee). It was extremely humilating to sit in front of my CEO and the government agent to explain why my test would probably come back positive for drugs! As an exec who oversees company policies on drug testing, I felt like my job was potentially at risk. On the other end of the spectrum, when meeting or dating someone new, it's always interesting to see their reaction to me taking my meds...(the need to take it in a fairly private setting, the spitting, etc....lol). I'm struggling with other sub issues, like the on and off desire to come off of the med, my current need for surgery and addressing the pain issues that will come with that surgery, and a sub doctor that although very nice....clearly does not want me to consider coming off of subs.

I just wanted to say that I am very impressed with the posts and people I have come across on this site. In visiting others, I've found that there were some that clearly decided to judge others with questions. The fact that this group is very non-judgemental and informed, makes this a priceless resource for info and support! Thanks for listening and helping!!

:P


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 10:38 pm 
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Welcome.......and thanks for sharing your experience so far. I have been taking sub for 9 months now and I guess I could say I am a closet sub user because I do not share with anyone that I use it....job...family...or friends. I just feel it is a private issue...my private issue and I choose not to let others judge. It's funny I found this site when I was considering sub and after spending an entire weekend reading everyone's post I decided to find a sub doctor and it has changed my life for the better. Recently there have been some post referring to another website..obviously anti-sub..it calls itself subsux.com. I spent some time on there today and I have to tell you there are some very angry and self centered people on that site. It is funny to find all those that complained about the terrible w/d from coming off sub.......so many relapsed or they are just taking a couple of vicodins so they don't suffer w/d. WHAT? I am so glad I didn't find that site before this one. I might still be out there. You may want to go to youtube and watch Dr. J's video on suboxone or checkout his blog because he too believes in long term sub use due to the exact reasons I read about today....the relapses and cravings. You will hear some say on here that this is not a one size fits all solution. You didn't say if you are doing anything besides taking sub...like therapy, 12 step program, IOP or other. Keep us up to date on how you are doing...you are not unique there are many of us out there that have professional jobs and our leaders in our community that have been saved by this drug. I am glad your here to share. We all learn from each other here....and as I found today this certainly is a supportive site..........


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 11:13 pm 
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Bella1-

Welcome to the site. All the people here have felt the way you do, have had the same uncertainties and questions, and I became involved as a moderator because I wanted to help people who were afraid or uneducated. Everyday, I hear from people who are struggling with some aspect of this disease and I do my best to offer support to them.
I can sympathize with your career situation, and your not knowing what to do about your treatment. I do not know enough about your personal history to voice an opinion, yet I do know that I have struggled with those same issues. Currently I am in school to become an addictions counselor, and I feel that I must get off Suboxone in order to truly perform my craft.I have started to taper, and look forward to being off the drug, but I also fear that security blanket being gone. I am confident that I am strong enough to do it and the fact that my colleagues snub Suboxone gives me more drive to get off it successfully to show them it can and does happen.
Again, welcome. I know that you will find support here as everyone is very kind and we pride ourselves on keeping this a supportive environment.

_________________
"It is never too late to be what you might have been!" - George Eliot


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 10:37 am 
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Welcome Bella1,

I think Shelwoy and others have hit the nail on the head. MR. PERFECT (ME) - Professional, Hubby, Dad, etc... needed just a little extra to be SUPER PERFECT MR DAD. Well.. it started with surgery meds, and the boost I felt after, and then slowly over time became a habit of chasing the impossible with opioids...

I am glad you are on suboxone. I have heard, depending upon the type of drug tests - you may not 'pop positive' with the buprenorphine (active ingredient) in suboxone.

I am also facing a taper in the coming months. My doctor is about tapering. I'm in some therapy - learning about triggers, and trying to stay accountable.

Your Ms. Perfect line just made me smile... cuz I think that's lots of us- living the lie. It was me.


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 Post subject: Welcome!!!
PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 10:42 am 
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Joined: Tue May 12, 2009 10:02 am
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Hello Bella,
Welcome to the forum. I think you will find most of the people that post are doing so with the hopes of helping others while helping themselves... Most of us are recovering addicts in various walks of life but, with a common bond that is addiction!! I can only speak for myself when I say that listening / reading other addicts stories and struggles helps me in my recovery. I often read how someone overcame something that I am going thru at that time and it helps me deal with my struggle. Anyway I hope you continue on the forum and please keep posting so we can see how things are going for you!! I wish you the best of luck with your recovery..

God Bless
TW


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