It is currently Sun Aug 20, 2017 7:48 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 19 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: My f*cked up mind...
PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 7:08 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 4:52 pm
Posts: 31
I recently found out that my ex-wife may be involved with someone. And when I was thinking about it the other night, I became really agitated, my body felt very warm, and my stomach started hurting. I hadn't taken my evening dose of subs yet and I called the ex and lost it on her. When I got off the phone I took my dose of sub and felt better, more relaxed. Has anyone every had an anger episode that was cleared up by taking a dose of suboxone? I said some pretty nasty stuff which was out of character for me.

I have also found that since I am on subs I have been getting depressed, haven't been eating properly, and can tear up at the slightest sad thought. Any one ever experience any of this?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:46 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:07 pm
Posts: 79
Location: Northwest Indiana
Well are you devorsed she is your ex what does it matter she is seeing some one think about it rashinaly I know you did not want to hear that but thats it find some on elese and yes when ever I take a drug I fill better good luck stay sober

_________________
One day at a time


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 7:13 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 4:52 pm
Posts: 31
Maybe I should have wrote that I am divorced only a short period of time, less then a year. And I understand what you are saying but it was less painful for me to go through my withdrawals then it was to have my heart totally ripped apart because I can take suboxone to help me overcome withdrawals but there is NOTHING that can "snap" me out of love and not feel the hurt I am feeling.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 7:43 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:07 pm
Posts: 79
Location: Northwest Indiana
I can't fathem what it must be like to split up and I'm sorry thats what it came to. But you must move on she did you can find love again just stay clean thats probably a lot of the reason you got divorced almost cost me my marriage but I got my shit together first live and let live stressing over that will make it much worse hang in there and don't forget there is always somebody to talk to here or there is lots of meetings just hang in there it will be ok.

_________________
One day at a time


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 11:23 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:04 pm
Posts: 391
I can certainly relate where you are.......It is easy for some people to respond with "well just move on" or you are divorced.....divorce is like a death......It took me two years to snap out of my depression of my divorce and the love I had for her.....I remember the first time I drove by my house and saw his truck parked in my spot.......I had that same feeling you did. It tore me up just like you.....I was so mad and hurt and to top it off he was our neighbor..I remember calling my sponser and he told me it was that feeling that she no longer needed me anymore and had moved on. It was very hard to accept. I turned into a desperate man and begged to get her back but she was determined to move on without me and with him.....My drug use took off and eventually I got on sub and it helped me get through it all........the pain, depression and hurt that it was truly over.

Time takes time......she is now engaged to be married to him and he now lives in my old home.....I have accepted it and have finally moved on....but I know your pain and it is real and the really bad thing about all of this is I know if she said I could come home tomorrow I would not be happy.......focus on what I did.......my recovery and my boys. I decided I was just going to be a good father....show self control......do what is right and if you two are meant to get back together you will but you have to start living your life as if it won't......time....is the only advice I have and pray........somehow God got me through it......I don't know how because I am not a religious person but I beleive he did. he will for you too.......stay strong and know that others have been there and we have lived. I just started a new relationship and I have to tell you I am happy for the first time in years....Good Luck.

Jim


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 10:51 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:07 pm
Posts: 79
Location: Northwest Indiana
I was not trying to down play getting divorsced I was just trying to say it aint going to help the situation any by calling and yelling and geting irate over it we are adults and there is no excuse for that sorta behavure and I'm sure he will find love again and when I said just move on I know it will take time and its not easy but after some time thats special some on will just show up in your life and when it happens you will know best of luck

_________________
One day at a time


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 4:18 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:04 pm
Posts: 391
rsaylor........typical addict.......thinks everything is about them......

How you doing today Outofthewoods? I hope things are better......

Jim


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 5:05 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 7:22 pm
Posts: 7
in regaurds to your ACTUAL QUESTION, i host the "suboxone meetings" for my doctors office and i actually have heard from a few participants that they have experienced irrational anger and depression. i am not a doctor but i have been on suboxone for approx. 9 years now so i feel i have a pretty good idea about what im saying. i know that when i started taking subs i went through a great deal of emotions, i cant say that subs CAUSED these ups and downs but i can say for sure that after feeling the euphoria of opiates for so many years and then suddenly be kicked in the head with a new way of having to deal with life and all the crap that can mess with you, your brain has to figure out a new way to cope. be paitent you will evenually figure out that these were feeling that were easy to cope with when we had opiates to sooth us and snuggle us closely, these feelings have to surface and finding a "new way" to deal with them isnt always easy. but know this, you now have your sobriety to "snuggle and sooth" you. good luck and i say these things with 2 divorces under my belt, it does get easier to deal with, i know its hard, but think of it this way, you overcame the grips of addiction, you can handle anything! again good luck and take it easy on yourself, bright skies are ahead for you.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 6:00 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:36 pm
Posts: 879
Location: Wisconsin
rsaylor........typical addict.......thinks everything is about them......

Worse yet, someone seems to have stolen the "." (period key) from his keyboard!

[Sorry, I just could not resist]


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 6:45 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 7:22 pm
Posts: 7
ya know, outofthewoods asked for our opinion, the only opion is those of our own"." therefore im simply coveying my experience"." that is exactly what they asked for"."








sometimes stupidity should be illegal..............................


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 9:30 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:04 pm
Posts: 391
Perhaps this thread is an example of mood swings that sub now seems to provide for me. I am actually starting to not give a fuck about anyone and their questions, commments or concens. I would be better served lurking for awhile till this passes if it does.Thank god we have some new members here now that can set us straight and Anita I will be so reserved in my response to your stupidity comment when you have know clue who I am or what I am even about. But I look forward to you educating all of us. Even the stupid ones who go out and get addicted and have to turn to some medication called suboxone. Donh...............I thought we were friends. I think a break is exactly what I need. OutoftheWoods- sorry I didn't answer your question but tried to share with you that I can relate to how you felt when discovering she was seeing someone. When in active addiction I always reached of opiates no matter the mood. So far I have not experienced taking sub to feel better after an angry episode. I think a part of it could be psychological as you wanted that dose to make you feel better soon. See you all later down the road.

Jim

Jim


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 10:57 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:36 pm
Posts: 879
Location: Wisconsin
"Donh...............I thought we were friends."

Huh? What did I say? It just struck me funny that rsaylor8326 never seems to use a period in his posts. It's just all one long sentance. I wasn't refering to you or even to Anita. Evidently I wasn't all too clear about that. Just looking for a bit a humor - I thought you, of all people, would appreciate that. :) Hope you get back to your old self again soon.

Good job with the periods anita. Now, if we can get you to use caps, we'll be all set.

Really, honestly, I am just goofin here. LOL. Man, when did everyone get so serious?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: We get moody sometimes
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 4:17 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:44 pm
Posts: 460
Location: New York
Well, now we know Subs makes us moody.

Outofthewoods. Take heed in what everyone is telling you. It will get better. It is not easy to stop loving someone. But, it is not easy to get sober and you are doing that. That's all I have to say. Food for thought. Love & hope queenie


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 1:28 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:07 pm
Posts: 79
Location: Northwest Indiana
Hay donh ya I did forget to use the .... button. Why don't you try posting somthing that is helpfull to the post.

Sorry, I just could not resist.

_________________
One day at a time


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 4:43 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 7:22 pm
Posts: 7
i didnt realize we were being graded on punctuation and caps here, nor did i realize there would be a heckler. i guess my contribution comes off as though i think i know everything, even though i believe ive said "i am not a doctor" and "in my experience". my appologies.
i hope that my experiences are helpfull even if its in the slightest way.
outofthewoods, i hope the petiness of come of the comments here do not discourage you from posting. we are all here because we care and we hope for the best for you. good luck and remember the best revenge is living well.





note: sarcasm is not flattering on everyone.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: No time
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 5:23 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:44 pm
Posts: 460
Location: New York
In my opinion, we don't have time for that kind of nonsense here. We are all here because we want help and we want to share experiences that may help others. We don't have time for pettiness.

I am not a doctor either but I worked in insurance 38 years. I was the manager of the Death Benefits Dept. and I don't want to have to receive a death certificate of anyone here. I don't give a flying Wallenda about punctuation. I am on Suboxone, I am an amputee and I am a proud grandmother of 2 boys 20 & 15 and I want them to see me clean. This forum is helping me very much. I see that it's good to share stories with people going through the same thing you are because they know what you are experiencing.

Outofthewoods is a wonderful young man with a story. I would like to help him as much as I can and if I can. i don't think outofthewoods needed that at that particular moment when he was pouring his heart out. Let's be considerate of each other and help each other out of this horrible illness. Let's give each other courage and strength.

We may have come over in different ships, but we're all in the same boat now.

Love & hope, queenie


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Just another day...
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 4:52 pm
Posts: 31
I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and support.

I did a very stupid thing today., And no, I didn't use. But what I did was something just as harmful to me. I said something to my ex that I shouldn't have and it showed me to be weak and gave her all the power. I am very upset with myself about this. I don't know why I said what I did but apparently I enjoy beating myself up and that is exactly what I did today. Now I am thinking about it and am feeling very humiliated and stupid. And of course, it is agitating me. I already took my sub dose for the night so there is nothing more to take.

I need to find a way to unwind myself now. I just ain't ever gonna be right.

_________________
"When there's no one left to leave you, even you don't quite believe you, that's when nothing can deceive you."


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Think of yourself
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:50 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:44 pm
Posts: 460
Location: New York
It's quite evident that your feelings for your ex-wife is a big part of your life. You sound like a terrific person and it would be a shame if you relapsed and lost this chance to stay clean because of your situation,

If you are on a low dosage of subs, that means you are almost there. What a shame if you relapse now. You are going to take the bull by the horns and say I AM IMPORTANT! I HAVE TO GET BETTER and go on with my life and live to see what tomorrow brings. Who I'm going to meet. What is next in my life? Let me face it clean & sober. Let me take care of myself. I can look good and handsome. Hold your head up and walk like a man that is excited about life because he will soon be done with opiates for good.

The Lord puts us here and then watches to see what we are going to do with our lives. Don't waste your life. You have to remember that you are a human being and you have God's natural right to be happy. That could be right around the corner. Welcome it! It could turn out to be the most exciting time of your life. When you are much older, you will think back & smile at all the good things that are yet to come. The person that is going to be the center of your life and is going to love you no matter what, unconditionally, stand by you through anything. She is out there waiting to be loved. Be ready for her by getting healthy.

I hope I haven't let the grandmother in me be too rough on you. It's just that I see so much for you that you don't see.

Have a good night. Sleep well my friend. Tomorrow is going to be o.k. In fact, It's going to be fine.

Love & hope, queenie cares


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 10:36 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:07 pm
Posts: 79
Location: Northwest Indiana
Go easy on your self we all screw up some times your in a vulnerable posiotion right now you don't need the stress this will bring you. Stay strong and remember you don't have to use today

_________________
One day at a time


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 19 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group