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PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2015 5:52 pm 
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If anyone has seen the topic I posted about getting into grad school, you know how happy and relieved I am to have made it into this program.

Then today I was fired from my part-time job.

Before I became addicted, or at least when I was in the very early stages, I was taking the prerequisites necessary to get into a BA to BS in Nursing degree. I finished them up when I on opiates 24/7, and I had to make the decision to stop pursuing that career. I ultimately wanted to become a nurse midwife, you see, and I knew that I shouldn't be in a position to have prescribing capabilities.

I have years and years of child care experience. After I began recovery, one of the baby steps I made was to start volunteering in a daycare center for children of addicts. I used my time there to brush up on best practices in infant care. The next step I took was registering at Care.com as a nanny. I have had several positions in the last two years, all part-time and several were temporary.

The family I was with up until today hired me in January 2014. I nannied for their son 2 days a week for over a year. Last week I let them know that I would be starting grad school this summer. I planned on still working the two days a week they needed me and spend the other days on my schoolwork. The mom asked me what I would be studying and I told her.

I also told her that I am a recovering addict who has been in recovery without a relapse for 3.5 years. I told her my entire story. Today she and her husband decided to "move in a different direction" with their son's child care. My addiction status was not the only reason they needed to move on. They were anticipating needing more than two days a week in the coming months, which I would not be able to provide. But it was telling that they don't want me to finish out this week.

I feel rejected. I feel that they weren't willing to hear the information I could give them to make them comfortable about me caring for their son. I feel like I was suddenly a leper that they didn't want touching their son. I am sad.

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2015 8:56 pm 
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Amy, you know I think your tbe bees knees around here, and all the other things you have done in your recovery.
Yes, it is sad.
Its sad that this country and humanity as a whole thinks of the the word Addict as worthless. As damaged, peoole who can never never be trusted. Ever..
Ive just come from my 2nd na meeting after a 9 month layoff. The topic? Stigma as an addict. Very lively meeting. Mostly kids, but all the same.

I told them that maybe, just maybe these days the tide is turning. It ll tske time, but aarticles are popping up in favor of tbe recovering addict.
The National drug Czar himself an addict and in recovery. We addicts may be the lowset of tbe low in many places. Many do not believe that it is a disease. That is problem . Other issues in this country when brought out into the light ended stigma and judgements. HIV, Breast cancer, hell just seeing a shrink ..

You stood up for yourself! You will do more good to end this kind of judgement as you become a professional in the field. You need and should be proud for what you did and said to these people you worked for. They just weren't ready to accept.
They were scared, unsure. Afraid.. makes no sence at all that they dismissed you. There loss. For sure.

So....dust yourself off Amy, ..you struck a blow for all of us. We all need to stand up we ever we can. ..

Been a tuff couple of weeks for you somewhat, but just know you have done well and others will benefit from your careing and knowledge. ..

ROCK ON AMY........Razor R.....


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2015 9:13 pm 
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Amy

I am so sorry honesty scared the people. Apparently stability in their son's life isn't as important as they say! Here today and gone tomorrow...

In my mind it would be different if you had not been there a year +. Do they think you changed as you told the story of your addiction & recovery? After all you are still the same person they hired and whom they trusted with their son. You took excellent care of their son so what would have changed? I would have hoped they would have done a little research and maybe spoken to you directly if they had questions.

As Razor said...you will do wonderful things in your new career and now will be able to take the time to do whatever work your Grad school requires of their students.

I am really sorry you feel sad :cry: . You help so many people every day, have a wonderful family, got into Grad school...so many good things in your life that i hate this to overshadow your excitement. It is normal to feel sad but don't let it take up to much space in your head....you are on to bigger and better things!

((((((Hugs))))))


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2015 9:29 pm 
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Amy,

We've never met, but my reaction to this news was if it had been done to my sister. Outrageous! Obviously a rash and immature decision on their part to dismiss someone with a proven track record of trustworthiness...OK, I could go on and on slamming these parents, but that doesn't resolve the issue.

It is ignorance, immaturity, and poor judgment on their part. Allow yourself to get over the hurt they caused, then you move on, knowing how highly esteemed you are by such a great number of people.

If the money is not a major issue, I would say that you provided a far greater service at the place you were before, to people I'm certain were most appreciative. I'm sure they would welcome you back, if you can afford to do that (it may provide some opportunities for your graduate studies, as well).

Well, I said on your Celebration post that we "rejoice with those that rejoice...", and I guess now we "weep with those that weep". That's what we're all here for.

Thank you Amy,
Morphing


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 12:55 am 
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Amy,

This one has me fuming. You end up being honest and look where it gets you!

But..on the bright side, when one door closes another one will open. I do believe that and know things will work out for you and the next chapter in your life will be a step up.

That's my take on it. I hope they feel very guilty about it later on If you need me to write a letter or whatever, just ask.

Tom

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 1:08 pm 
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Amy congratulations, for getting into the program, and pursuing your passion to help other addicts on a professional level. I haven't posted in awhile, but I was working on my practicum in Houston as moving towards becoming an LCDC. My faith guides me daily, and I have to trust that God has me moving in the direction he wants, but it is hard to see the good and exactly what direction I am supposed to be moving in when bad things happen. From what I've read in your posts, I gather that you are a caring, compassionate person who enjoys helping others. Keep your head up, because you deserve praise for your accomplishments. Maybe this happened because you will need the time to devote to studying, or maybe there's another reason. Honesty for my conscious is the best policy, and you can take solace in the fact that you were bold enough to let those parents know where you stand. It's a shame what happened, considering you had been taking care of their child for X amount of time already, and since nothing changed in your behavior/abilities, it's just the parents ignorance about "addicts". Most people who have no understanding of recovery, in my experience, don't know how to react when we share our stories with them. I want to congratulate you again on your moving forward to your goal of counseling other addicts, and just tell you to try and stay positive about finding another opportunity for work, good luck.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 1:13 pm 
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Well that just sucks :/ Amy. We all face this stigma every day almost. Ppl like ur former employer has no idea about recovery I guess. That's ok because u do, and u will bounce right bk. I can't believe when u told ur story, instead of picking out the very positive part like u going to grad school, they thought.....omg an addict!! In our home, check all the valuables! Lol probably something like that. It's a shame but what can we do ya know? I've never told my story about a custody issue I had and how my very own attorney was oozing with judgements. I am always kinda afraid someone would recognize my story so I never told it. It went something like.....I'd advise u to be off suboxone because no judge is going to listen to u or take u serious as long as ur on it and u already have being an addict against u even though u have had yrs of recovery.... This stigma makes me sick. Needless to say, all we can do is educate ppl and hope things get better. Amy, ur truly awesome and ur gonna do great things. Unfortunately the little boy that probably loved u so much will be the one who suffers all because he had narrow minded parents who couldn't get past the stigma of an addict. Thanks for all u do here Amy....big high five from me. If I could use an emoji, it would be a big thumbs up lol. :) :)

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 1:37 pm 
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Hi Amy,
Sorry to hear what happened to you. I know we have had our differences on here in the past. But, you know we are all in this together. So keep your chin up, things will work out for the best. Take care and hang in there.
Happy


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 3:02 pm 
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I want you all to know that you make my life better on a daily basis. It's not just your support in this situation that I appreciate. Your willingness to be here and help guide your fellow addicts makes it so much easier to be a mod. It's amazing that you can have so much fondness for people you don't really know.

Thanks guys. You made me feel better. :)

Amy

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 3:23 pm 
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FYI, in the future remember what they call A.A. Alcoholics Anonymous. It is normally best to keep a lid on telling anyone anything regarding our past.

I conduct the D.U.I. class at work and it is soooo hard to NOT tell them I'm an alcoholic. They must know because who else gets into that field but us? So far I've skirted around the truth by saying alcoholism runs in my family. Luckily no one has come right out and asked me outright. That one is going to take some thinking because I always tell the truth. My boss doesn't want them to know. Oh well, I'll deal with it when and if it comes up.

Let us know what your next step is going to be.

rule

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 3:45 pm 
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My next step, of course, is burning down their house! :D

No, but as soon as their last check clears I am going to send them an email. They are church goers and I wonder what part of "love your neighbor as yourself" this falls under. They had some other reasons for "moving in a different direction" with childcare concerning scheduling. But if they weren't freaking out and overreacting, why not have me finish out the next couple of weeks as long as I was OK with that?

It's as if I'm suddenly a leper and that's not logical. They have left their son with me for 15 months with no problems. Their child loves me and I love him! I do think they are going to have a hard time replacing me with someone as skilled. I have kept up with child development practices, I was enriching their child's life with education...He can identify every letter of the alphabet at 2 years old! The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. They counted on me for 15 months with their child. Suddenly they couldn't leave him with me one more day? I guess I have addiction cooties.

One thing that was amusing to me was that the dad kept saying, "This is tough on us too." That's like breaking up with someone and complaining that it hurts them to do it. Excuse me that I don't feel bad for you.

To be honest, and this is not sour grapes, I'm glad to be not working. It will be much easier to concentrate on my classes without it. I just hate that it proves that the stigma is still going strong. I think I'm going to make an effort to be even more out in the open about my addiction. I'm going to advocate for us addicts and remind the world that addicts are everywhere and we still contribute to society! If someone doesn't like me because of it then I don't need them in my life. My husband, my son, my dad, my sister, my cousins, my friends all still value me and respect me. Why would I care if some Joe Schmoe doesn't?

Rule, I appreciate your care and your inclination to protect me. You are a good man.

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2015 12:03 am 
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Ahhhh screw em!!! Of course I don't know you personally but if you're as awesome in person as you are on here I think they lost out. But really, you wanna work for a family who as soon as you open up and are honest with them they let you go? You should have stolen something, like her jewelry or their spoons and forks. I'm kidding of course!! Nursing jobs seem to be everywhere, at least where I live, so I'm sure you'll find something better. Good luck Amy.


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