It is currently Sat Aug 19, 2017 5:46 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 3:02 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:34 pm
Posts: 614
Hey folks,

Don't know how many fans here of Carrie Fisher, but her problems with drugs and alcohol are well
known. I was listening to an interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air a month before she died, and she sounded decades older than her 60 years. Pictures on the Internet of her weight gain and much older
looking face (older than you'd expect given her age that is), testify to a life spent wrestling with her demons, demons which to one extent or another virtually all of us share.

I really enjoyed Carrie Fisher, Star Wars of course, and Postcards From the Edge (she wrote the book and the screenplay as well I think), and lots more. One story I read, whether apocryphal or not I have no way of knowing, about her having teeth pulled so she could get pain medication. If you listen
to her speak in her last years it sounds like she's wearing ill fitting dentures....or perhaps her speaking difficulties are caused by brain damage

In any case, very sad to lose her at 60. I can't help wondering if she tried buprenorphine at any point, and if she never did ....could it have saved her life?

Just thought I'd throw this out there. I think the lessons for the rest of us are pretty self evident.

Best
Godfrey.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 1:47 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2016 9:40 pm
Posts: 627
yes Godfery,

but before I agree, on your good post, which I do, all of it, I want to say that I'm so profoundly and deeply sorry that addiction, in whatever all its forms, came your way.

And the maybe hard and sad news is, bc of that, YOU are incredibly helpful here. Ya, I'm guessing, not what you envisioned for your life....

I truly know YOU matter and I'm so very very sorry your life has been re directed bc of addiction...Mine has too.. But I'm acclimating... And you are too..

I'm sorry its come this way for any of us too. but want to to say YOUR posts matter. YOUR posts are informative and -- well -- are a coaching moment... a good coaching moment. You comments are important and impactful. Thank you! P

_________________
Did well on Suboxone. Stopped May 2011.
Stopping went well -- its the staying stopped -- where the real work begins.
Coming here 'keeps recovery green'.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:19 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2300
Location: Tennessee
Well of course I agree with pelican, Godfrey u know how much I think of u, I've thanked u several times for ur wonderful self :) the progress I've saw from u is massive honestly. U and pelican both are such huge assets to this forum. I've been under the weather so forgive my scattered brain lately, I feel like I can't concentrate because my head feels so stuffed up (my 10yr old brings in many germs lol).

I wasn't a big Star Wars fan but........ when I was a little girl, there wasn't a lot of female action figures like there is now, other than the awesome Barbie doll of course. But there was a Princess Laya (probably didn't spell that right) action figure! And I had one because I was able to play action figures with my older brother. So Carie Fisher was a pretty iconic figure in many ways.

Another thing that got me was her poor mother, Debbie Reynolds, passed away days (the next day?) after her daughter did. I'd read somewhere that her mom had said she just couldn't live without her daughter, then passed away very soon after. That's another piece of addiction, our family suffering along with us. That family had definitely saw their share of addiction and in the spotlight too. It's sad and even if u weren't a Star Wars fan, I'm assuming most ppl still knew Carie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds.

Thanks Godfrey!!

_________________
Jennifer


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:52 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:34 pm
Posts: 614
Thanks to both of you, Jenn and Pelican. Pelican no one's ever said that to me before, that they're sorry I'm an addict. It was hard to hear because of that blame myself instinct that we all have. But it was also deeply validating and I appreciate it greatly. Thanks for the very kind words, both of you.

Yes Jenn, Debbie Reynolds too. She suffered just the way my mother did, and likely all our mothers along the way. But they were very close by all accounts. There was much love there. I can completely understand how a woman in her 80's finds the sudden death of her beloved daughter literally unbearable. I read that she said, "I just want to be with Carrie." Don't know if that was before or after her stroke.

Debbie Reynolds was one of my favorites too. (I have many "favorites" as a lover of movies). I think she was something like 19 when she did "Singin' in the Rain" and up until that time had never danced professionally. What amazing talent! She made a movie maybe 15 years ago in which she played Albert Brooks' mother. I thought she was excellent.

Anyone who's not seen it: I highly recommend Postcards From the Edge starring Meryl Streep as the Carrie Fisher figure and Shirley MacLaine as the Debbie Reynolds figure (it's loosely based on Carrie's life).
The movie's about Streep's misadventures as she struggles to stay sober after rehab. It's extremely funny...painfully so at times as you can imagine. IN the last scene Streep is singing in some sort of nightclub I think it was. She has an amazing voice. How is it that so many actors can sing!!!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:43 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2300
Location: Tennessee
I've never heard of that movie before Godfrey. I'd love to see it though because I love any type of recovery movie. Heck I didn't know Carie Fisher was even an addict until after she died! I don't know how in the world I didn't know lol but I didn't. It was shocking to me when I heard she'd passed due to drugs.

I hope ur having a great evening, I'm sick and it won't go away plus I'm in limbo with my fiancé right now. It's truly a test of how strong ur recovery is during times like I'm having but very thankful I'm strong enough to handle it. What a weekend!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:08 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:34 pm
Posts: 614
Hi Jenn,

I'm sorry you're going through a bit of a patch. I like how you frame it as a test. I think that's very smart.I do that too and often...usually?....I find myself rising to the challenge. Its an excellent way to get to the other side. It gets your competitive juices flowing, which is so healthy.

I had a virus earlier this winter....hit me just after switching to subs....that wouldn't quit. My wife had it too. It was a good 3 weeks to a month before we started feeling normal again. Before that it was one day better, the next day worse. Just a bad cold really, but stubborn!

Hang in my friend Jennifer. This too shall pass (until the next thing of course). You do an awful lot
of good around here.

Best,
G.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:11 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator

Joined: Fri May 01, 2015 9:58 am
Posts: 882
Good morning all, First, Jenn I am so sorry about your not feeling well but my heart hurts knowing that you are going through something with your fiancée! I will pray that it is something that you move through and come out stronger on the other side! I always try to look at even the negative in a positive way. Addiction is a beast! But, it is a beast we must fight with everything we have got! If I were not fighting this beast, I would never have learned so much about myself. I don't know if I would be as effective as a social worker. I certianly would not have had the opportunity be be here, making connections with people, sharing and finding so much support and such caring! It makes the world a much more smaller, less scary place! Enjoy today everyone!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:25 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2012 5:04 pm
Posts: 423
If you get a chance, there is a documentary following Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds thru the final days of their lives called " Bright Lights": It is "on demand" on HBO.

I actually just watched it last night . They refereed to the movie "Postcards from the edge "and where Carrie Fisher was at when she wrote that book.

And Yes, it is clear that she must have something going on with her mouth, because I noticed the exact same thing.

I love watching movies about addiction to see how others handle this monster of a disease and see how they cope with it and treat it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 2:06 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2300
Location: Tennessee
Thank u Godfrey and Michelle, I truly appreciate ur thoughts and Michelle ur prayers are also very much appreciated! So much!

U have to look at things as a test of ur strength sometimes because as an addict, I want resolution immediately. I want pain, emotional or physical, to end immediately. So feeling awful with this terrible head and chest cold and a fever plus emotionally drained with my fiancé, I've been really upset last few days. But u just gotta keep on pushing through because u have no other choice, numbing those feelings isn't an option anymore.

My fiancé is great but..... lol he has a bad habit of making big purchases and purposely not telling me until after the purchase is in our drive way. Once he bought a car without telling me, then a pickup truck that needed lots of work, then a 4wheeler. After every single one of those instances he promises he'd never do that again without discussing it with me. He doesn't discuss it with me because he knows that I wouldn't have wanted him to get it because of money. It's absolutely disrespectful imo. Well Saturday, another freaking 4wheeler! Last straw, I couldn't take it. Just keeps happening over and over again. Ah maybe not something to ruin a relationship over but if we get to be homeless sleeping on top of two 4wheelers then he'll see my point of view :)

Anyway I needed to vent that and get it out because I've been holding that in for days. U can't argue with him because he never argues bk lol he's the calmest person ever! Thank u guys, sorry I went off topic Godfrey.

_________________
Jennifer


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 3:56 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:34 pm
Posts: 614
Hi again Jennifer....

I just want to say that in fact I believe that is a reason to end a relationship. It's dishonest of him and in some important way uncaring. He knows and understands it upsets you, but he keeps doing it.

I'm sure he's a nice man with many good qualities, But if it were me I wouldn't tolerate it either. How many chances can you give a person?

Hope I'm not being a busy body, but you probably wouldn't have mentioned it if you didn't want to get a little feedback.

Follow your instincts. That's my best advice,

I hope you're feeling better. And you deserve an honest guy! You absolutely do!

Best,
G/


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:45 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2300
Location: Tennessee
I absolutely needed to hear that I'm not overreacting because he's so great in every way except when it comes to things like that. Overspending and being the sole decider on big purchases. We aren't talking shoes, or even a couple hundred dollars, thousands of dollars all together for just those 4 separate things that I knew nothing about until it was done and I could either like it or lump it because it was done already.

No I welcomed ur response Godfrey, so I know I'm not overthinking or being selfish. I don't associate with a lot of ppl and I haven't gotten any opinions except for my mother lol who's always on my side.... even if I robbed a bank, she'd find a reason I should have done it. I don't know what I'll do, but I am taking my space from him for the time being. Thanks :)

_________________
Jennifer


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:42 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:34 pm
Posts: 614
I"m so glad, jenn. And your mother sounds like a peach! Mine was often
a critical old crow :D


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 11:40 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:34 pm
Posts: 614
Raudy,

Thanks so much for your recommendation. Plan to watch "Bright Lights" this evening.
By the way, if anyone's interested in listening to that NPR interview with Terry Gross I mentioned,
I just found out you can download "Fresh Air" podcasts....and many others....on your i-phone.
No charge, that I can see anyway.

It's recent, so not hard to find. It's funny as hell and sad of course. Both in retrospect (knowing what happened to her just a few weeks after the final interview (it included 3 excerpts from 3 separate interviews held years apart).. and in how her voice and manner of speaking had changed. it's pretty obvious she's not doing well. All 3 parts reveal a woman of much emotional depth and keen insights and yet she couldn't beat
the addict part of her.

I've said on the forum several times I don't think I had another 12 Step recovery left in me. Without the bupe
I'd likely meet the same fate as Carrie. The first time I heard addiction called a disease years ago, I didn't really believe it. I do now though. With all my heart and soul.


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 11:07 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4127
I'm sorry your mom was a mean old biddy, Godfrey! My mom wasn't perfect, but she was all about unconditional love like Jenn's. My mom died of a pulmonary embolism 14 years ago when she was 59. Then my dad, who had been cruel to her about her weight my whole life, went crazy with dating. He had 3 fiancés in three years, including a Ukrainian woman he had met on a website. Between grieving my mom's death and my dad acting like a crazy person who didn't care what his daughters thought or felt, I became addicted to pain meds.

Losing Mom was the worst thing that had happened to me for sure. I wish other people who had yucky moms had been able to experience the love of my mom.

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 12:01 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:34 pm
Posts: 614
I'm sorry for your pain too, Amy. I can well understand how traumatic that must have been for you. The anger at your thoughtless father must have been intense. You needed an understanding father who shared your grief. You deserved to have that. I'm sorry your mother died so young, and what sounds to be so suddenly. Terrible to be set adrift like that.

I have to say in fairness, both my parents loved my two brothers and me. I felt that and understood that to be the case. That's very likely what saved me in the end. But there was also much dysfunction. My brothers and I all retreated to our individual bedrooms most of the time. There was very little family feeling as we began to grow up.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 2:06 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4127
I am glad you felt love from both of your parents. That's how it should be.

And actually my dad was awesome to grow up with. He was open, loving, fun and affectionate, toward my mom too. But he had that one blind spot and as my sister and I grew older it was more evident. After he settled down and remarried a retired teacher from CA in 2006 things got better. He couldn't let go of the obsession with talking about fat people though. My mom was morbidly obese and my sister and I inherited the easy tendency to gain weight. But neither one of us is even close to my mom's weight. Somehow my father couldn't make the connection that denigrating fat people was offensive to me. He almost lost me, but he finally figured it out and apologized to me and my sister in 2013. It was a real apology too with no defensiveness. He finally realized that his constant criticism, plus her sexual trauma from childhood and losing her parents at age 18, had a lot more to do with her weight than her not trying hard enough.

My son is in a high school science competition this weekend and my dad is flying out to be there. This is his fourth year of being on the 4 person varsity team and they're hoping to make nationals this year. Fingers crossed. My boy is wicked smart! (To quote Good Will Hunting.)

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 6:29 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2300
Location: Tennessee
That must have been tough Amy! Especially seeing ur dad with all different women. That would be a hard thing to witness. U seem to have worked through it well and that's great! Nothing can replace ur mother especially when ur relationship was a close one.

My son is 18 going on 19 and even though he's smart and a whizz on the computer, he's one of those teens that u have to force to go get an education! Ur lucky u have one that enjoys that. I often wished that mine was easier to get a good education. My youngest son however loves science! But I have to force him to do schoolwork too! Wish ur son good luck from all of us! And it's really awesome ur dads going to be attending!

_________________
Jennifer


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 7:43 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4127
Thanks Jenn! I'll be sure to let you guys know how it went!

I am so fortunate that Jacob is internally motivated to do well in school. He made the decision to get straight As all through high school while also taking honors and AP classes. He got a B last semester, but his weighted average is a 4.667, so I try not to give him too much trouble about it. :) If he wasn't motivated to do it, though, he would just get what he got. I'm not one to hold a whip over his head! We are very proud that he has chosen to work hard and do well. But all kids have special gifts and talents. In the end we just all want our kids to be healthy and happy. Jacob was diagnosed with clinical depression when he was 8 but is doing well now. His child psychologist helped him a lot back then and he is doing fine with it now. Thank goodness!

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2017 10:18 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2300
Location: Tennessee
Amy ur not gonna believe this but my son, he was in 6th grade and was being bullied at school (bless his heart it kills me to even think about that) and he had a really really rough time, which totally changed his outlook on going to school. We tried going to the principal, teachers and nothing helped. Come to find out, his best friend, who was also a neighbor of an extremely poor family, was going to all these kids at school and manipulating them turning everyone against him. I don't know if it was jealousy or just plain evil. I used to send this kid food home to eat because he had nothing. His mom and dad were addicts too and he was just left to fend for himself and my family helped him.

My son wasn't clinically depressed but was having a horrible time. So me and my mother (keep in mind I was using at that time too and living with my mother) decided to pay for online homeschooling and got him into counseling. He was put on Zoloft, still is to this day. So he wasn't motivated to be the best and it was a struggle.

He's almost 19 now and going to community college for now. One of his talents though is computers. He's absolutely wonderful at computers. He had a really hard time during those years. Kids can be really cruel!!

_________________
Jennifer


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: carrie fisher
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:01 pm 
Offline
Super-Duper Poster
Super-Duper Poster
User avatar

Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2016 7:01 pm
Posts: 353
Location: Mid-Atlantic
jennjenn wrote:
Well of course I agree with pelican, Godfrey u know how much I think of u, I've thanked u several times for ur wonderful self :) the progress I've saw from u is massive honestly. U and pelican both are such huge assets to this forum. I've been under the weather so forgive my scattered brain lately, I feel like I can't concentrate because my head feels so stuffed up (my 10yr old brings in many germs lol).

I wasn't a big Star Wars fan but........ when I was a little girl, there wasn't a lot of female action figures like there is now, other than the awesome Barbie doll of course. But there was a Princess Laya (probably didn't spell that right) action figure! And I had one because I was able to play action figures with my older brother. So Carie Fisher was a pretty iconic figure in many ways.

Another thing that got me was her poor mother, Debbie Reynolds, passed away days (the next day?) after her daughter did. I'd read somewhere that her mom had said she just couldn't live without her daughter, then passed away very soon after. That's another piece of addiction, our family suffering along with us. That family had definitely saw their share of addiction and in the spotlight too. It's sad and even if u weren't a Star Wars fan, I'm assuming most ppl still knew Carie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds.

Thanks Godfrey!!

have you read cat's cradle by kurt vonnegut? here, mother and daughter were a "duras"
also a great book by kurt's brother mark vonnegut, probably one of the only books written about being schizophrenic, from within the persons head! i believe he became mentally ill after using too much acid.

_________________
Get your shit together and live your life." Black Snake Moan


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group