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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 12:17 pm 
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Subdoc, if you could respond to this post I would be so thankful. Anyone elses advice or support would be much appreciated also.

Here's my story. I have been on Suboxone since January 2008. I have relapsed twice and discovered I am unable to get high. That was in the first year. I have been clean ever since and currently take 2mgs/day. I have a 3 month old son and was put on subutex during my pregnancy. I have plans to continue my taper and get off of suboxone by July 2011. Throughout my addiction and recovery I have struggled to put my life back together. And finally I am here, everything in my life is better than ever. I am so happy, I have a loving husband and a beautiful, perfect child. We don't have a lot of money but my husband recently swore into the military and we will soon be way better off than we are now.

Here's my problem. My younger sister and I have always been close. Around 2 years ago she moved to a different state. Right before I got pregnant I finally told her that I am a recovering addict and I take suboxone. Fast forward a year and now she is calling me telling me that she "knows" I'm still on drugs. I told her that I was drug tested every month of my pregnancy and that I DO NOT take drugs other than suboxone. For some reason unbeknown to me she truly believes that I am still on drugs. I think it's because she is in a different state and doesn't see me very often, has no idea how well I am doing and everything. But after she goes.. well lets just say hypotehtically that you don't take drugs. You are still on suboxone and that is horrible. You don't have your correct frame of mind and you aren't thinking straight because the suboxone clouds your mind and makes you high. She seriously thinks I get high off suboxone and that I am not in the right frame of mind. I don't understand where any of this is coming from. She has now cut me out of her life because she believes it's too stressful for her to talk to me while I'm not "admitting" I need help. But how could I possibly admit something that isn't true? I am doing so well and haven't even THOUGHT of taking drugs for years. I would NEVER do that to my son. I would NEVER do that to my husband. I am on the right path right now with my recovery. She is so unsupportive of me and thinks that my life is completely fucked just because I am still on suboxone. What am I supposed to do? I can't stop thinking about this. It's so upsetting to me. I love my sister but I have gotten to the point that I am angry now. It isn't fair to me for her to keep accusing me of using for absolutely no other reason but because I am a recovering addict. I feel as though I have done so well and come so far, why am I being punished and yelled at and told that my life is so fucked up? She barely even knows me anymore. We rarely see eachother. I guess what I'm looking for from this post is support. Has this happened to anyone else before? Have you been accused of using when you were 100% clean? Or been accused of being "high" on suboxone? I told her she obviously knows nothing about suboxone but she said she does and professes to know everything about it. I don't know how or who is telling her these things. What should I do? How do I convince my sister that I am not getting high on suboxone or any other drug? I guess 9 months of clean drug tests weren't enough for her? I am so upset about this.

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If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open...

JJL Due 8.14.10 <3


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 1:05 pm 
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Sounds like a personal problem to me...hers.

If her mind is made up you're using or that suboxone isn't good for you, that's her problem. You know better.

You and the rest of the world can try to convince her otherwise, but it is highly unlikely, from my experiences. She has her mind made up and once that happens, it's terribly difficult to undo.

If I were you I would tell her how much I love her and that she can believe what she likes, but you know what you are doing is in YOUR best interest and that you are sorry she can't come to terms with that. Then, tell her you love her again.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 1:11 pm 
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if i were in your position i would tell her what romeo said above, then i would add that she needs to get some education on suboxone becuase her ijformation is not correct. If she wants give her some links to sites that give acurate information on subs and how they are used. the only thingk i can think is that if she is going to change her mind it is going to be because she actually realizes that there is nothing wrong with it when used on a doctors care.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 1:47 pm 
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Ideally, yes, she would be able to learn (correct) information not only about suboxone, but about opiate addiction as well, but like has already been said, that simply may never be enough for this particular person. Somehow you have to come to terms with this. You've done nothing wrong; she is the one who has intentionally extracted herself from your life. I have a bit of experience with this. My younger sister hasn't spoken to me in probably 3 years. It's nothing I've done and no matter what I do or say, nothing will ever change her. So trust me when I say I know exactly how very much it hurts. And it will take time for you to accept the situation. Like I said, it's been 3 years for me and to this day it still bothers me. BUT - it hurts less now than it once did. Over time I've accepted the fact that I cannot change her and at this point she is simply unwilling to change herself or the situation. Keep reminding yourself that this is her problem and not yours. You have a beautiful family that I'm sure you want to share with her, but she's made her choice.

It might not be totally in vain to try to educate her. Do what you need to do so you know that you tried everything. Such as, get articles about addiction AND suboxone. Read them and highlight the important parts and then mail them to her. With any luck she will be willing to read them. You never know, it might work. But in the mean time - and I know this isn't easy - try to accept that you simply have zero control over another person, even family.

I wish you the very best and I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Keep up the great work you're doing and enjoy that beautiful family you've made for yourself. With any luck she'll come around.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 4:54 pm 
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justagirl,

BTW I like Creed a lot and those lyrics have been repeated by me many times for my daughters sake.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 9:55 am 
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Thanks so much everyone.

Well now I pretty much messed up the entire situation by sending her a very angry facebook message pretty much along the lines of "how dare you..." etc. I shouldn't have ever sent anything while I was angry. Anyways I'm going to send her another message saying I'm sorry for lashing out and then link some stuff to suboxone sites so she can get more information. I was thinking about even linking her to this forum because there is a family section. I really hope her and I aren't in a fight for life but this is the kind of stuff that really divides families. :( Thanks again for all your responses I really appreciate it. And Romeo... I love that song! That song and "Simple Man" by Shinedown I dedicate to my son.

_________________
If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open...

JJL Due 8.14.10 <3


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 10:51 am 
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I heard the new version of Simple Man on the radio several times, but wasn't aware who sang it. I thought they did an excellent job with it. I have always liked that song...in fact I just google searched it...the Shine Down version and am listening to it right now.

You know that Lynyrd Skynyrd wrote and performed that song originally?

Rock On


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 3:20 pm 
Hey Justagirl!!

If it were me, i would probably do as the rest have said but i would also ask your sister this, would she rather you be taking suboxone and alive or out doing your DOC and a possibility of overdose and death. I mean, thats a pretty easy question to answer. I know for me, i was seriously headed to the cemetery had it not been for suboxone/subutex. Just my thoughts. I wish you luck!! ~PEACE~


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