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 Post subject: Can it get any worse?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:43 pm 
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I think most of my family is dead and the rest seem to be on their way.
Heroin.
I mention I'm an only child because my sister and brother loved the H and pills, and they're dead, murdered, OD'd.
Then someone reminds me my nephew is dead too and I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot.
My son seems to be on his way out. I don't see how he made it this far.
I don't have a problem. I'm writing for my son. ha
Funny how so many of you are the victims yet you could afford phones to even use this forum.
But, I'm writing for him because phone, computer, email, nothing nothing nothing.
I'm real sick of this.
I've been dealing with this since I was 7 and am so so sick of having to live my life talking about drugs and living all that goes with it because of every single soul around me.

Anyhow, my son tugged at my heartstrings as usual so here I am.
He is on the strips that you put on the tongue.
His whole paycheck goes for them and the Dr office visit, which leaves no food for his toddlers, or clothes or shoes..........
He now has CareSource Medicaid and asked me for help finding one who would take his insurance.
So, here I am.
He's 33 (I think) and I don't think he's ever been sober quite frankly, at least not since 12.
I never won the battle, I waged war on him, drugs, his friends, you name it. I gained no footing on that front.
Why is the problem in the U S so horrific and the seeking of help enough to make anyone give up?
I heard a Dr say "you could afford the H, you could afford me", what an idiot. How encouraging is that? NOT
Anyhow, I'm 55 and have lived nearly 50 years of this and I'm the one who seems to suffer the most.
So, SouthWest Ohio, anyone know of a Dr that takes Medicaid and has a heart?

I'm sorry for my tone, I'm the one who feels like running away, literally.
JustB
Also, fyi, I never check my spelling, grammar, punctuation, so don't even go there. Aint nobody got time fo dat . .. . .. . ..

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:05 pm 
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I have to say again, I am truly sorry for my tone. I am actually sitting here crying. It has been a long torturous life of dealing with drugs.
I am currently taking care of a 4,5,87,82 and 33 year old and I am so tired.
They all live in my house, except for the 33 yr old addict.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:33 pm 
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Hey JustB,

Oh man dude, NO, say again, NO apologies needed!!! We understand far more than you know. You are welcome here!!! we have family members come here and you will be supported!

man oh man. ya, addiction sucks as you so well describe. Well said, well written.

Welcome welcome here! Give it a bit bc sometimes it takes awhile for a specific answer to come in.

Keep your son on the films otherwise the toddlers will not have a dad, once better, to provide food or shoes or to love on them.

I don't know about Drs w a heart but I googled Ohio medicaid opiate treatment and Ohio medicaid opiate addictions and got slightly different links. Also added in Care Source and a bunch of links came up. But here's the deal -- one thing is often said here is -- it can take lots and lots of calls to find a Dr -- and sometimes the same effort to find a different a Dr if the prior one is not a fit...

Sorry addiction treatment is so screwed up in the US. I've read of Ohio and am truly sorry for your pain. I ask one thing, try to muster up the strength to call and call... can't tell you the stories we see here of folks finding help - some right away and some w effort, but they find it.

Hopefully someone will soon come along w a specific Dr's name.

I feel for you man. Wishing you my best bc this is all so hard, P

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:57 pm 
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Hi justb. I'm in Ohio as well. I'm a little further north but I know how hard it is to find a sub doc that takes medicaid. I've called everywhere, trust me, but the best I could find was a MAT(medical assisted therapy) program with a wait list. I'm not exactly sure of what all the MAT program consists of but it's not to just see a doctor to get the subs then leave. It has counseling, and group therapy attached to it (hence the T part) it may not be what you want to do or may even be more of a hassle. BUT I'd rather take the extra steps needed for your son and his children. I have an 11 month old daughter and suddenly I'm a sucker for children, especially the father/daughter relationship part. I feel for you and your son, his children as well. They need and deserve their father in their lives. I really wish I could be of more help, but I'll do my best to answer any questions you may have. Hope all works out for you and your family. You've definitely came to the right place for support and positive feedback. Best of luck to you


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:59 pm 
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And to answer the question, YES, it could be way worse. Stay positive!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:57 pm 
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Noob, very good posts. thx. Sorry its hard there...

Justb, your role might be not only to uplift and support your son but to come here and post as well. YOU, as a family member, can help others here, which in turn, will help YOU express your anger OR disappointment OR sadness OR grief at the loss of your family and how hard it is to support your son.

YOU need to take care of YOU in order to help and support all the others in your home and outside which includes your son. Wish my family had found this site... Kudos kudos for you for coming here as you help your son. And maybe help YOU...

I'm off bup awhile and can sometimes feel pushed away -- trying to talk to those in active addiction TO START BUP or those wondering if they should quickly stop bup - NO !!!!!

Hey Man, whatever you can handle right now -- that is best for you -- is what is best... and as always, I wish you my best -- heart felt, P

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 2:41 am 
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Just saying ditto to those who say take care of you. Is there a reason why your 33 year old son is not doing the research and making the calls himself? Sounds like he is on medical assistance so probably not working full time. If he is on assistance he can probably get a free cell phone and call himself. He needs to do whatever he can for himself. He could call local mental health clinics and county funded hospitals. One office does't have a program but refers you to another and maybe they do. I have used four different providers and only two were listed on the physician locator list.
I don't know how familiar you are with twelve step groups, but AA has a saying about being willing to go to any length (for sobriety). Many have driven long distances and spent more money than we could afford for this opportunity. Most think it was a good investment in the long term.
I worked many years in social services and there was a saying that if you worked harder than the client, something was wrong. Could apply to family member an their addict. You only have one life. Live it to the fullest, for you,


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:04 am 
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Hello and thank you to all who replied.
The 33 yr old isn't doing it himself because he cant afford a phone, pc or any other thing.
He can't even afford to drive to my home and use my stuff.
He DOES have a job but still gets assistance because for a family of 4 he is still poverty level.
The current Dr takes his whole paycheck for his medication and appointment.
He DOES have a government phone but it runs out of minutes a 1/4 into the month. Being on hold takes your minutes rather quickly.
Take care of me? I'm not trying to be sarcastic, but there is no time. My family dwindled due to death and it was small to begin with, which leaves only me; and my caring soul can't let my folks and granddaughters fend for themselves.
I've been living the 12 step life as a victim of those around me being druggies all my life.
My first memory in the "Woodstock" days was my mother running and screaming through my house chasing my brother and throwing things at him when he entered the druggie world.
Then an entire life of drug battles with my sister and brother and nephew until they all ended up dead.
Now, at 55, I have a tad of brain damage because 2 heroin addicts beat me nearly to death when I went to evict them out of my rental, which was my own son and his wife; and yes, this is the son I am helping.
So, I'm beat and tired.
So, I have seen it all, and it could get worse. Worse would be my son dead, and I'm numb at this point.
After they beat me; I disowned them for 1 and 1/2 half years and let me tell you, I lost those granddaughters, but losing my son and his wife never felt better. I was relieved and happy and calm.
A true break from the druggie world.
Then a year and a half later, my son called me and said , "if I came over your house with my daughters would you turn me away", and I said "no".... so we are back together.
As for the question I see coming, *why didn't I take my granddaughters from them 2 years ago".....
Well, for one I had brain damage... I was purple, black, blue, yellow, green and one eye half closed, and the system keeps children with their biological parents at all costs practically. I had a lawyer.... the system blows, need I day more.
I texted my son last night with a *surrender* and *no* text and told him to do it all himself and leave me alone... I'm spent, physically and mentally spent. He said "wow", he was in shock.
But after several hours and me finally having a moment to sit down, I lined up many calls for Monday.
It is very time consuming and I'll do it with two active little girls here. It can be done lol
I take those same little girls to the ophthalmologist (on Tuesday) to let them watch their great great grandpa get needles in his eye because he had a stroke in his eye. Everything is a learning experience and they are angels. So I'm busier than a one legged man in a kick fight.
My husband is a hero, believe me, he is a saint.
For the record, I go on and on and on; a lot of this is venting and therapy, to write and read and talk to ya'll.
I thank you in advance for listening to my story.
Funny thing, the only other two times I was physically hit was by my dead brother and sister also,.. I forgot until just now. It's been a hard faq'ing life for me.
And all I hear right now is two giggling little girls jumping up and down in bed on my husband who is such a hero. Todays surprises so far have been; Halloween cupcakes, YooHoo, Mcdonalds, Frozen crayons, stickers and notepads (hidden under the bed), and Smarties. All brought home at 5am after a surveillance job he did last night. If I didn't have him............ ugh, I have to protect him because if he wasn't here,,,,, well, I have dogs, so they keep me going lol
I love dogs more than people.
I appreciate ya'll from my soul for listening to me this morning.
Be well everyone - Thank you again....
FYI - I am taking care of me the best I can
I DID escape a week or so ago and hit Vermont at peak fall leaf color !
I flew there (my arms are so tired) and then cruised around for 1200 miles looking at foliage ! ! !
I can do Roanoke this coming week if I cancel daddys eye appointment lol
I just might !
Not spell grammar punctuation or anything checked ------- ha ahh

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:52 am 
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Good morning JustB, You are an amazing woman! You have sooo much insight and I hear you trying so hard to do the right thing...and, that is all you can do! Don't exhaust yourself! Not good for those precious girls or your amazing husband! Enjoy Halloween...the laughs and the giggles with your granddaughters and know that you are their role model! I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2016 1:34 pm 
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That saying of "If you could afford ____ then you can afford my outrageous fee". So my response would be, "so I'll need to continue robbing, lying, stealing, committing larseny, etc., to pay your fee?" BTW, watch how easy I can lift your wallet while you look the other way.

A very ignorant statement to someone who is only trying to save their life.

r

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 12:12 am 
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I don't know where to start! You sound like the most loving grandmother to those girls. And your appreciation of your hubby... Not to mention all the calls you have lined up for Monday morning. Your son is so so lucky to have a mom as loving and caring as you are. So so lucky... I wish yall the best of luck finding an affordable Dr. Please keep posting if it makes you feel better. We rarely catch such insight from the side of the family that loves us most. We, as addicts hurt the ones we love the most. I wish it wasn't that way... I hope grandpa gets through his procedure just fine on Tuesday and I hope those precious girls learn a lot, but more than anything, I wish you peace and hope. You touched me in such a way tonight when I read this. I will hug my mom a little longer and stronger in the morning before she goes off to work. Bless you and your. Sincerely yours, Bama girl


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 6:51 pm 
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This planet needs to have mercy on my ass.
All day, and most of the weekend believe it or not, and I've gotten no where.
I learned that my son can get the suboxone free; medicaid/Caresource, but the Dr's still want to financially rape you for the office visit.
I was on all the lists and had 3 emails that excited me. The very last one, that I was so anxious I called 6 times (but only left messages twice), I had high hopes for. All 3 doctors in this particular clinic are recovering themselves so I assumed they'd be more, shall I say less money hungry. Wrong.
The son can't afford squat, really, hence m e d i c a i d.
I thought the disclosure of most of my immediate family being already dead would budge them a bit, but nah baby nah.
I think the kid could swing 50 a week, and continue to pay bills, feed and clothe children etc.

So, I have 14 windows open and I'm going to ask anyway. Ohio/Caresource/medicaid - anyone, anything?
This is unbelievable.
Isn't there a song "18 wheels and a dozen roses"
cuz I'm humming
"14 windows and a dead cell phone battery" haaa ahh
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 7:36 pm 
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That a tough break JB. I was so excited when I say you had posted today and I saved yours for last to reply. Well... So does that mean that he will get his meds for free, paid for by Medicaid, from now on? I too am on Medicaid. And even though I looked, I never found a Dr. that took the Medicaid. But once I got the Medicaid paying for my Suboxone, I have had an extra $375 a month. I was using the Suboxone discount card. I assume your familiar with that? If not, say the word, and we will hook you up with a website you can print it off of. I would guess you probably have heard of it. So, did your husband bring home the girls a treat from his surveillance job today? Sounds like he loves those girls as much as you do. I know for a fact your a good, no great person. Because of the love you have foe your dogs. I love love love my dogs too. I have 2. A little small black doggie named Sugarbaby and, it's so new, it sounds funny saying but, a big brown and white pitt bull dog named Cupcake. Both are girls and both lives were saved from the Humane Society. Cup cake was just a baby when her owner got busted for fighting Bull Dogs. I actually got her around the time I got on Suboxone. 7 months ago. She was spared most the bad stuff I assume due to her age, but she does have a little tear on her left ear. I guess we have all been through it in some ways, but we have to keep on and fight for a better life for ourselves and the ones we love dearly. I was glad to hear you took some time for you. You flying to Vermont, that had to be tiring, and taking in the view. I may go take in some of the view myself soon. We have a small mtn. called Pine Mtn Ga, close to where I live. I hope the let me bring my dogs though... I hope you have a blessed week and please know there are people, at least one that loves her dogs, praying for you and yours. Good night,
Angie


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:11 pm 
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Pine Mountain GA - how beautiful. I'm pretty addicted to google, so as soon as I read that, I google the images. I reckon its not quite time for fall foliage there yet eh?
No surveillance last night lol
Husband works days, but this past week he was doing night surveillance.
I should be traveling with him tomorrow morning but I opted out, to stay in my jammies for another day.
The kids are visiting their folks and I'm reading.
There are times that I read more than I sleep. I never stop reading, its an insane hobby of mine.

I'll write more soon.
Thank you for sharing and caring with and about me.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:36 pm 
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Hey JustB,

Big sigh. Headshaking.
Amazing hard work and huge kudos and thanks to you for all your wonderful MOM efforts. We do care about you and your son here.
So if I understand, your son can get his bup covered thru medicaid but not the Dr visits and they are still way too high?
You probably already found these in SW Ohio and they are likely not an option but just for completeness sake I'll mention it bc public Universities usually take medicaid altho the individual Drs do not have to accept it but got me thinking.
UC Health in Cinti has 3 Drs listed on SAMHSA and 2 are currently listed at UC Health. No insurance plans are listed on their website, says to call, but there is a link that lists Drs that take patients needing financial assistance, which is NOT the same as medicaid but maybe they might take medicaid?
Anne Autry, Psyche Addiction Services 513-585-8227 ; Bryan Griffin, Psyche 513-558-7700; Nancy Elder, Family Medicine 513-558-1436 is listed in some places but not all.
Also a UC Heath MAT provider is Lindner Center of Hope in Mason 513-536-0500. It looks like they only take medicaid for ages 11-21 and 65> but their self pay office visit prices depending on complexity are: initial $155 - 315, subsequent $100 - 165 . I'm sorry this is all so hard... Peli

UC Health
http://uchealth.com/physician-search/
UC Health Lindner
http://lindnercenterofhope.org/

PS also did you see Crossroads Center? 513-332-0350. http://www.thecrossroadscenter.com/ a different site lists them as accepting medicaid.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 12:14 pm 
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Hello Pelican. Yeah, part of the problem is me. One of the offers yesterday was me traveling east and then backtracking 2 hours for the appointment and 2 hours back again, then a 1/2 hour back to my home. I have to pay for travel, time and gas because the patient has no monies.
I'm attempting to get a little closer.
I did have one woman explain "special circumstance", like a 2 hour drive, and letting us come once a month seeing how the patient is already established; but that came at twice the price. wtf'ng'f.
There is a special place in hell for these people.
The patient affording the office visit? Sure, at the cost of not feeding his children or paying a car payment or the like.
Sounds like I'm making excuses huh.
I guess not all dopers have money like "Prince" -
Some of them are piss poor.
Sorry about my attitude, it always sounds worse in print, but its not, really.
I did learn yesterday, that a private psychiatrist is a good option, and I found one who takes medicaid/Caresource all the way around- yay, for the visit and the script.
I'm all pissy right now because on top of all this, my mother just ripped me a new one.
How the faq can you be so bitter so late in life.
She's a screamer, she is 82 I think, and she is gross, really is.
There is no excuse for her abuse of me. And its NOT her age, she's always been grotesquely mean, bitter, spiteful, selfish, cruel and more.
I reckon I need to find another thread to vent, just vent.
I recently came to terms, upon reading another support forum, that I can now say, "I hate my mother" and not feel guilty about it.
Thank you for listening.
Just-B

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 9:34 pm 
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Slow your roll momz! You are definitely NOT part of the problem. There are not many people I know that have 2 and a half hours to ride back and forth just to take their son to the Dr. Come on, that's 5 hours. I myself am straight trippin on some of the prices these Dr.'s have the audacity to charge as well. I don't see how 1 Dr. can charge 150 and then 1 right down the street can charge 300. It beats all I've ever seen. Oh did you have any luck with all that information Pelican gave you. He/She is off the chart. Research genius. Seriously. Just know we are here to help in any way we can. Even if it's nothing but chatting it up with you. I'm ok at that. Wish I was more like our peli, but I am me. But I can relate. I have a loud screaming mom too. She gives me hell, too. Good luck with every thing. Good night to you and the girls. Bama girl


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:05 pm 
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Hi Bama bama bo bama banana fanna fo fohma - me mi mo momma - bama - haha

I didn't accomplish much today. I've been taking mental health moments and sleeping as much as I can lately. I'm tired tired tired.
I took pops to the Dr, probably researched a little bit, read a lot, and then the texts go off and I cringe.
Money money money - can I have some? ugh

My mom is not just a screamer, she is cruel. The cruelness has taken a toll on me to the point where I can't even look at her. She lives with me, but we put a wing on my house for her and dad, and a garage that separates our homes. We are connected, but not. I can slip in and out, or duck in and out lol
Houdini
I also took a break from the girls. They are visiting their mom and dad. I wanted a break until tomorrow night or Thursday.
Thank you for your time to think of me :)

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:11 pm 
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OHG BA HA HA AH!! Bama ban nanna rama bana, ahhh too good!!! I'm so glad to hear you are doin that! Take some time girl!! Rest that weary head! Ah, the reading. I was going to say something about that. Worlds best ticket outta here, reading is. So happy you know about that "get away". You are too much, you know it? I had to reply when I read your comment. Love ya!!! Angie BAM BAM A RAM
BAM... LOLOL I'm not near as good as you are at that. LOL


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:20 pm 
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Get you some rest me mi mo mama, Bama foh ya fo reala


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