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 Post subject: Bye
PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 1:15 am 
I'm about done here. Just wanna say bye to everyone. I may check back here time to time. But i've learned alot about what not to do. And it further pushed my decision that i have to get away from this stuff. It's actually gotten to the point where it's hurting my moral in the sense that i actually want to recover. Not stay in this half assed, i think im clean state of mind. If i wanted all the shitty side effects of opiods. I think i'd go back to using.

I'm sorry so many peoples judgements have gotten so jaded. I suppose it's the permanent down regulation of your receptors that is causing all this opiate burnout that people literally are losing emotions. This was told to my best friend by his sub doc. Now why would one doc say this. And his other colleagues claim this heals your brain. i was told this side effect was suppressed by the big pharma.

paranoid much? Maybe. Guess we'll see when your 50 still sucking on sub. By then im sure you could prove this point quite well. People saying it's there choice to stay on this. Wrong, the permanent damage this drug can cause has clearly affected you. And now you can't go on without being miserable. Such a good way to keep masses in check though. It's like creating aids, spreading it, and holding a cure for ransom. Sorry were in this situation guys/gals. I know realize some people have no choice. Frightening.

What this does to your brain is like fitting a square peg in a circle slot. Then your brain staying in that jammed up status 24/7. It's no wonder why some people just throw in the towel and want to not be miserable. Can i blame you? No, not really. Do i agree with people falling to there knees and not constantly trying to fight for there own survival? Hell no. As soon as you give in. You lost.

I may not win. But i will keep fighting. Now speculate all you like. Fighting is worth it. It is your life though. I suppose natural selection is going to weed a few out anyways. time will tell.

Maybe see a few of you around.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 3:14 am 
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Thanks for the lecture.

Have you forgotten what life was like in active addiction? These strong opiates on the streets are extremely dangerous and not easy to get off and you are talking like there was a better option than suboxone. I'm not sure about you, but my life was dedicating to getting high every minute of every day. No matter how many times i tried to get off of them I was never successful and suboxone gave me a chance to get get clean that is manageable. You are acting like there was some other great solution. Are you aware how expense intensive rehabilitation programs cost compared to suboxone?

Sure suboxone isn't perfect, but what is? If your statement is true when you say: "If i wanted all the shitty side effects of opiods. I think i'd go back to using." Then why don't you? You truly cannot believe that.

Speak for yourself next time.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 10:05 am 
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i remember the shitty addiction to the drugs on the streets. ALWAYS on my mind controlled every event and so best said that this (sub maint.) getting this clean makes it manageable. sorry u hurt will4 i wish u what u need. i have some trouble with sub but nothing compared to the TROUBLE i was in for way too many years i am going to be 41 soon and if i still am sucking on sub at 50 as long as i am in a state of i can live life without that obsession of using then well enough for me. everyone makes there own choices i wish u well


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 7:25 pm 
Look i am not interested in a big and forth with anyone. My point is to get what information i had to share out there. You do not have to one on one defend your choice to me. You don't know me and i don't know you. Alls i wanted is to share my experiences, concerns, and overall opinions on what i think of this. Aswell as what i think of using this stuff forever. Using any opiod FOREVER is only going to cause problems. Whether big or small is to be determined. Please just keep it in mind and think about it. rewards out weigh the risks? Everyone decides this differently. Not a choice to be taken lightly.

Thanks for reading, any lurkers out there get anything from this. I am happy. That was the goal.

I'll lurk around here and join in on discussions with intelligent people when they are involved in threads. I'm just going to ignore the halfwits and those who apparently know everything. I will ignore those who act like they know everything based on the fact of how many years of there life they wasted in addiction. I will ignore the closed minded people. Basically denying ignorance.

Thanks for anyone who puts any thought towards what i think. Even if it is disagreement with me. I've succeeded in making you think. That's all i wanted to do. : )


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 10:25 pm 
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Ya know Will,

You can come across as pretty close minded yourself.

We get it. You dont like sub, you are worried about long term damage, and sub has side effects.

The thing is, alot of us on long term maintenance are aware of what we are doing and know the drug is not perfect. We are choosing harm reduction because its better than the alternative for us.

I say vent away about your personal experience/problems/fears with sub. Just please refrain from putting down those of us who have chosen sub. You dont know me. I am not weak,.cowardly, uninformed, emotionless, or high. Im not spreading pro sub propaganda all over the internet. I just come here to give and get support for my recovery.

I really do wish you the best and hope you can taper off this with little problems. I think part of the taper/withdrawal process is to get mad and hate on sub. I have seen it in other taperers who have posted.

My unsolicited advice is to try to turn all your sub hating energy into something positive for yourself!


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 11:25 pm 
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Seeya Will... :D


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:10 am 
Ok this is where we differ lets just agree to disagree. But here is another rant on how i manage myself/life and my addiction

I experienced a few pros of sub. But the cons are starting to outweigh the pros sadly. I diddn't just one day wake up and decide to go on a rampage against sub. Far from it, really. Now when you say i seem closed minded myself. This is where i disagree. People who are just taking sub and only seeing the good things and dismissing the negative aspects are closed minded. When people are claiming side effects that a quick google search reveals more and more people who are poppin sub are all experiencing. Then to have multiple people come here and a ton of people just try to dismiss the side effect to anything besides the sub. Of course it's possible, it really is. But I dislike people just writing it off as sub could not be the culprit. No it's not the sub, no way, (points finger at everyone else in the lineup, except the actual suspect.)

I dunno, That seems a little closed minded if you ask me. People claiming that without sub for the rest of there life, they will relapse. You cannot predict the future. I'm sure it's highly unlikely that someone would stay clean if suddenly your doctor moved his flea market somewhere else, all clinics have waiting lists for 3 months. I mean i've never been to jail or anything. But for the most part. Those guys know that it's the end of the line. There not getting anything else. The brain is a awesome thing. Who's to say you can't put your mind thats in it's constant craving mode in a sorta mental prison. (because honestly, taking subs daily is just like going from prison to jail) For some poor fells taking one or two vicodins it's like going from jail to prison.

I just don't like the close minded ways people put sub as this idea sub is the end of addiction. Really it seems like longer your on them, the worse it gets. In fact i thoroughly believe this. Don't you think if i tried to believe the stigma of this site? Don't you think i tried to like this drug? It was absolutely be easier if i could just accept my life sentence that i NEED this opiod. Of course it would be easier. I tried this. I swear to you i did. But it's a fluke. I feel as though prolonged use is a trapdoor. Once you i took the plunge. I'm in a deeper and darker hole. It's not fun to dig your grave deeper and deeper. What this drug does to your brain is seriously unlike any other opiod.

It should not be taken as lightly as doctors believe it to be. But can you really hold them responsible for this idea? Nah, there getting fat pockets. and feel good that it's supposedly helping. Plus, most of them have never taken this drug. So of course i don't blame them 100%. But they are absolutely going to take a little of that blame. So lightly throwing this drug out there like it actually is a miracle drug. And i can see how many people dismiss some of the nastier side effects as something else. The doctors are quick to do it also. Apparently for chronic headaches after taking this drug was unheard of to him. He ordered a blood test. I told him the VA just gave me a blood test about a week and a half ago with all results being normal (except liver AST liver enzymes being high) The liver enzyme issue is a seperate story. It only increased after two months of daily sub use. Apparently i'm the first one reporting headaches. hmm.. shady. I suppose he never read the damned pamphlet. Or maybe the pamphlet only focused on the pros and not the cons (again, bias!).

Look my idea of close minded is only seeing what you want to see. I had a good few months on sub. I had a honeymoon phase of a good few months. I was very close to have sub sentence me to life. I really was. People act like the government doesn't import poppie from afghanistan and let it flood the US in the form of herion and other potent pharmaceuticals. I wish more people tried to rise up against the tide instead of just accepting the fate. There is no cure because it's not profitable. You don't wonder why the same people who introduced us to addictive drugs are now selling another addictive drug in it's place. Either way your still a consumer to them. If it isn't plan A it's plan B. and there both VERY profitable.

Nobody cares though. The paved road is always easier then the dirt road. I suppose nobody is open minded up to realize this. Sure, lets just stay attached to big pharmas nipple. That makes sense. It's easier then actually coping with life. I just don't get it. There is a bigger picture to this. It goes hand in hand from these poppie derived drugs that people are so damn happy to take. In one form or another. Instead of looking deep within at that person who you once where. ( i know there is a non addict somewhere in us) I wasn't born with a fentanyl patch on and you weren't either. I just can't except this. Wonder why the military is guarding poppie farmers in afghanistan. Wonder why the military isn't protecting ANY other farmers who are growing anything else. Why were Americans ordered to do that? Hm.. It's so we can all pop subs and all that other junk! Your welcome for us defending your freedom. I mean defending enslavement. But hey, just go with the flow.

If you keep a open mind to this, instead of defending a self induced enslavement. Behind a happy to oblige you doctor who will gladly keep you on this forever. They don't know the long term effects and you some of you just don't seem to care as long as you get a daily fix.

The first time i went to a sub doctor, I had a doc script me a couple extra subs one time last year. He winked and said. Heres five extra, just incase. I was a good, submissive patient and even thanked my owner for my treat.

This scares me. Badly. But look. The 24/7 opiod burnout feeling seems like it happens to ton of sub patients. It may not happen to you tommorow or even 4 years from now. But when, not if... I suppose it'll be good to learn the long term, possibley permanent damage done. At the expense of voluntary people. More then voluntary. There is a big price to pay. Most addicts can't make it through a few days of rough withdraw. Hell fent kicks were brutal! Pure hell. So what makes it seem feasable that someone can bear almost a month long withdraw of subs? Or especially methadone? At least detox centers got the right idea of switching people to short acting, weaker opiates to combat the prolonged hell.

Please tell me how im not open minded. I tried damn it! Certain things are not resting well with me. All the comments like why don't you go back to using and stuff like that. (in a different thread i made) It's to be expected. Eat your words. Were still technically using. Just slitting our throats open slowly and bleeding out. Instead of putting a gun in the mouth and pulling the trigger.


I apologize for whatever things i may have violated. I may not have been a junkie for a long time. Not no where near some of you guys. But i've had a hell of a experience with lots of different drugs. Including being prescribed opiates for nearly two years due to a accident in the service inside of a m1 abrams. and a stress fracture in my leg while being in the service. I had a short run with addiction. But a little longer run with various opiates and a couple opiods. I am very opinionated (clearly)

I feel as though i made a mistake is all. I made a mistake not my doctor. Allthough yet again.. a doctor is my enabler. (they were from the start of my painkiller issue) I know im not the only hard headed, stubborn, person out there. I want those who feel one or two of my views to understand that it can sometimes be a mistake to bite off more then you can chew. For the countless other people who are having issues with this drug. I feel your pain. I can relate. It's got to be possible to escape. Some can just be content. and others know there is a life beyond the merry go round ride. For those striving to leave the circus. Lets do this. If your content staying at the circus forever, cool. It's your call. We all got to play our roles. So if living in the circus is your role. Then be the most successful one there. I don't doubt people can be productive and successful on subs. I'm sure are plenty. I suppose there is only one way to find out though. And i can't risk it. Your strength is my weakness. vice versa. ok?


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:46 am 
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Everyone is entitled to their opinion which I don't have a problem with.

What I do have a problem with is that you aren't acknowledging that suboxone has benefits and you're saying that all of the prescribing doctors are blindly prescribing the drug strictly for money. Sure there are some doctors like that but not all.

Why do you think every doctor believes that it is such an awful and harmful drug but still prescribes it anyways? Is it impossible to imagine that maybe, just maybe, some doctors believe they're helping people and not just running a racket?

I'm not by any means saying you should go back to using, because it is far worse even though you're saying it’s the same. You’re undermining what active addiction was like. Also, I don't consider taking suboxone "using". Here’s a few reasons why, using implies getting high, but it doesn't provide a high, the intent of taking it is different, and the overall lifestyle is healthier compared to the daily drug seeking lifestyle

If you said we aren't completely clean while on suboxone that'd be different, even though that is debatable.

I try to look at a situation in all perspectives and in this particular case I have trouble agreeing. Just because people don't agree doesn't mean that they're close-minded.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 8:06 am 
If you said we aren't completely clean while on suboxone that'd be different, even though that is debatable.

I try to look at a situation in all perspectives and in this particular case I have trouble agreeing. Just because people don't agree doesn't mean that they're close-minded


"What I do have a problem with is that you aren't acknowledging that suboxone has benefits and you're saying that all of the prescribing doctors are blindly prescribing the drug strictly for money. Sure there are some doctors like that but not all."

See how were both on seperate sides here? I DO acknowledge the benefits. When i first got here i was happy being on subs! The only difference in this matter between me and you is... I feel as though this stuff is turning on me. Maybe this feeling is to all painkillers in general. The point is, this part shouldn't be debatable. Oxycodone has benefits, i mean common man. I'm not sorry im fed up with this game. I think this is what NA is trying to tell you. But, im telling myself it. Not NA. I am NOT saying ALL doctors. I am sure there are a small minority that isn't teamed up with team R&B and playing there game.

Dr. J is one of them. I respect alot of what he says and does. He is featured in articles on the web tearing up R&B in articles all over the web. If i could do this again, i'd be honored to be a patient of someone like that. He knows big pharma is full of shit and exactly what there in the business of. Greed. It's not profitable in general to have a cure. Now to make something to keep a diseases symptoms in check, thats big money. The one thing i cannot put my finger around is his statement saying tapering off is a losers game. Stopping leads to starting. I understand the relapse rate is high. It's part of recovery. So whose to say getting off maintenance and on your darkest hour you have a minor slip up. It's what you do about that minor slip up that counts. Whether it's to make it a isolated incident. Or just continue down the dead end road.

"Why do you think every doctor believes that it is such an awful and harmful drug but still prescribes it anyways? Is it impossible to imagine that maybe, just maybe, some doctors believe they're helping people and not just running a racket?"

Now im going to role reversal you here. Why do you think every doctor believes that it's aweful and still prescribes it? Hold on, my original doctor told me it actually heals the damage i've done. So i'm quite sure even after these last fews years of suboxone being out. There are still a fair amount of doctors pushing this drug with hopes of healing the brain and all that jazz. People to this day getting on sub for 1 or 2 loritab a day habits. Doctors telling them " it's ok, you take your time while your on sub. No rush" Now I refuse to believe doctors are just making honest mistakes. No! That is a line of crap... There baiting and hooking a self admitted addict to a whole new set of problems.

That my friend, is called greed. That doctor most likely isn't taking sub. He doesn't have to spend the rest of his life on it. Or even detox off it. This almost medical negligence still happens. Legally putting someone who is on 2 loritabs to 16mg of sub. Theres a couple docs that don't even drug test where i live at. You just walk in. and induce on sub. So that could be someone just going in there and paying cash for a script. Now please, tell me again how a large amount of docs aren't in it for money? Those guys are criminal. Yeah maybe a huge handfull of them do this stuff to this very day because there helping. Sorry, I stand firm in my beliefs there.


"I'm not by any means saying you should go back to using, because it is far worse even though you're saying it’s the same. You’re undermining what active addiction was like. Also, I don't consider taking suboxone "using". Here’s a few reasons why, using implies getting high, but it doesn't provide a high, the intent of taking it is different, and the overall lifestyle is healthier compared to the daily drug seeking lifestyle"

I really am at a rock bottom in terms of painkillers in my life. Maybe i am undermining active addiction. I never OD, spent all my money on painkillers to where i can't pay a bill or manage other responsibilities. I tried a quite a few of pain pills from the time being injured for a few years. After the painkillers ran out. I tried others. The two that really scared me were oxy and fentanyl. I was at a similar breaking point with those after a brief run. Kinda like i am right this second with sub. If the point is i have to go broke, OD, contract hepatitis c or something to have any credibility to hate being on painkillers. Your mistaken. I vividly remember the torment i put myself through about 15 hours of removing a 100mcg sandoz fent patch. That is a taste of hell. When i first started using fentanyl i was naive and knew it was strong. But had no idea how strong it really was.

Sub absolutely got me high for awhile. I was scripted 16's in the start. That second does wrecked me when i took it. I was fine on the 8mg's but when i took the second dose. Do i dare say i would i actually.....wait for it......... NODDED! No where near as good of a high as some of the stuff i was dabbling in. If there was no high, there wouldn't be anything tickling all those receptors 24/7. Sure there isn't a rush. But a high, or buzz. Absolutely it's there. But tolerance catches up sooner or later. Like all other painkillers, the high diminishes over time. I feel like your pretending that sub is a painkiller. Sure it's got a ceiling effect and all those other things that make it unique. But don't ignore that part. If there isn't a high, why is it all over the streets for sale? Why are dealers charging anywhere from 15-25 bucks for it here in my city? It's not to be sick inbetween using. Now how do you keep from being sick? You use! Are you on Naltroxone? If so, i apoligize as your absolutely right then about no high. If so, my mistake. If not. I'm sticking to my guns.


"If you said we aren't completely clean while on suboxone that'd be different, even though that is debatable."

I'll just let NA tell you about this one. My feelings are almost in agreement with theres. Outside of this website there isn't to many places where people can sell this idea of being clean or sober in the same sentence of suboxone. Even the addicts in NA who say for example gave up painkillers and have fought for 10 years to stay away. Then you come in claiming the same thing. Yet your on painkillers still. Daily. When they found out and ask you not to share from now on... and just listen. Maybe we should just listen. The hardcore junkies in there who cleaned up are even offended that you'd try to claim clean/soberity on painkillers still. You realize how jaded that sounds? You think they got where they are by saying "if i stop this drug, i'll relapse for sure" Doubtful. I don't want to be on opiods anymore!

"I try to look at a situation in all perspectives and in this particular case I have trouble agreeing. Just because people don't agree doesn't mean that they're close-minded"

Hopefully this makes it a little easier to see the points that are reinforcing my thoughts. I'm sorry it's not the way you feel. I just need as much power as i can to escape this life on painkillers. Some of you are so eager to remind me of reasons to stay on painpills when i know life is worth living without. I draw inspiration from within every time i make a long winded post.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:17 pm 
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Will said, "I draw inspiration from within every time i make a long winded post."

Dude, you must be sitting on a mountain of inspiration that's the size of Everest because you have some of thee most long winded posts I've EVER seen!!!

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:30 pm 
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Duh Romeo, he's stockpiling inspiration the way some people stockpile their subs.

Makes perfect sense to me! LOL


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:38 pm 
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Romes and TD, thanks for the chuckle this morning! :)

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:20 pm 
Haha, Well im pretty quick typing. Romeo, i can definitely appreciate that one. Freaking mountain of inspiration. I hope people aren't confusing my ego with Mt. Everest. I'm just wanting to make sure I am perfectly clear. lol, don't ask my opinion. Because you may fall asleep ready my responses. I dunno, if you made it that far Romeo, i am assuming you read most, if not, all of it! I at least thank ya for that.

tinydancer I really like that analogy! That was witty, and on point! Thanks for nobody cutting my throat! Anyways down to 6mg's after two days on. Dropping another 2 here in 3 maybe 4 days. Gotta keep the pressure on. I can't be a self loathing sub user who isn't tapering or ready to jump here in a timely manner. It would go against my obvious opinion of sub treatment after 3 months on sub it slowly started going sour.

Amy- I'm not trying to piss people off! But obviously when i state my opinon and someone asks for clarity i what i put. I try to leave no stone left unturned. Plus, i type iike crackhead. Even though i understand people are picturing a 400 pound obese guy, in his moms basement, in whitie tighties, cheeto crumbs all over my face and shirt. When i get into argueing online. I really try to show some restraint. I picture my opponent as the description above. Tough on the computer, real life would walk past me on the side walk and look away or look down instead of being the internet superhero.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 4:11 pm 
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Will, I don't know if this will get through to you, or maybe you already know it, but don't care.

People here are not disagreeing with you because you hold a different opinion in some areas. They are not arguing with you because they can't stand to hear any negativity about sub.

I think that people here (for the most part) appreciate your passion, they know you have a right to your own opinion and they think you have the right to express it here. I bet there are few people who really want you to leave.

What people react to in your posts is that your passion bleeds into rudeness! When you post you do not merely express your opinion about your own experience. Here are some of the things people react to in your posts:

1. You label people. You call people halfwits who do not agree with you (among other things).

2. You discount the experience of everyone except those who agree with you. Those who have a different opinion are in a "self-induced enslavement," according to you.

3. You go on the attack if someone disagrees with you. You might apologize later, or back down a bit, but that doesn't excuse the initial rudeness. (I'm sorry but... is not a true apology either, btw.)

4. Your comments about people who are satisfied with their sub treatment are disparaging and condescending. (Yes we'll just keep sucking from the teat of big pharma. Thanks.)

These are just examples from this thread alone! The worst I've seen people call you is young and not terribly experienced. And yet we still empathize with you! The people, like Romeo, who are on your short list of people not pissing you off, are kind to you despite the rudeness. They find a way to answer your posts like they're re-directing a toddler. Not disagreeing with you but kind of changing the subject.

Will, I hope you stay. There are a lot of things I like about you: your passion, your desire to help folks, your empathy toward folks who are struggling, etc.

But if you need to leave, take the time to gain some perspective, learn some manners, figure out how to express an opinion without pointing your finger at others.

And then I hope you'll come back and tell us how you're doing with your taper! I know you're going to find a way to kick sub because it's so important to your morale and sense of self-worth. You're going to do it!!! And I want to know the outcome.

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 5:15 pm 
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will430". what about the doctors giving pain meditcations and what did this leed to when people started depending on it?".

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 7:12 pm 
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Bye Will :D


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 7:49 pm 
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I only have time to respond to a few things real quick, so i may or may not make another post later to add on to this.

You bring up a lot of good points about the doctors over prescribing. My doctor was on suboxone for a short amount of time and is extremely knowledgeable. I am awfully sorry for you because it sounds like your doctor is all but helpful and falls into the bracket of doctors looking for a quick buck. Just because yours is that way doesn't mean they all are.

When you say, "If there isn't a high, why is it all over the streets for sale? Why are dealers charging anywhere from 15-25 bucks for it here in my city?", these people are abusing the drug and are not taking it properly like those of us who receive a prescription, have a daily dose that takes away the high after the very first few days or so, and do not take part in buying the drug illegally for a quick fix. Those are the big differences.
I am unsure whether or not I believe suboxone is being clean or not, but NA doesn't represent everyone. What makes them different than any doctor or counselor that says that it is being clean? Or do they not count and say that only looking to make money?

Just because you catch a nod off suboxone doesn't mean that everyone else does. You do acknowledge there is tolerance but everyone is different.

Also, what Amy is saying I agree completely with and do not want to see you or anyone else go for a difference in opinion but you come off a little arrogant, for the lack of a better term, and do take part in name calling by feeling so confident, I guess…? I am not sure how to explain it but a large amount of this is opinion matter and you’re stating your opinion as fact. To clarify, I am not trying to insult you or anyone else, but just saying...


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 7:54 pm 
"what about the doctors giving pain meditcations and what did this leed to when people started depending on it?"

Well for those who were prescribed narcotics for a substantial amount of time and depend on it. Plenty of those folks actually taper off and never look back. I mean i took oxy ir 15's or the greens for nearly a year after a snapped wrist in the breach of my old tank. And i had permanent damage from a stress fracture in my leg. I took em responsibly! Believe it or not.

Looking back after my binge im not sure why i took the plunge into addiction. It's maybe a mix of self medicating for PTSD, anxiety, night terrors. All these problems starting for me right at the end of my 4 year term in the army. Well shortly after returning from Kandahar, Afghanistan in September 2011. I have no idea why i decided to run away from my issues. But waking up in the middle of my tent in the maruf providence of afghanyland screaming incoherent grunts and yelling. I knew then and there i have somethings i need to deal with. I fucked up and started traveling down the dark and cold road of using painkillers for my mental pain. It worked for a little while, then i realized the errors in my ways. Again, after a year on subs now. I'm again learning. So dislike me for whatever reason you like. I won't turn to pain pills anymore. I can't. It's not me. I'm sorry you if you feel like you have to stay i painkillers.

I suppose somethings never change. We are still very sick people. if you no longer like me because you apparently need painkillers in your life to hold it together. I hurt for you. I'm sorry. I really hope you can make. I hope your doctor doesn't bail on you. I hope you are never in a accident praying and your begging for the doctor to give you ketamine to put you out of your agony. I hope you don't have your testorone levels plummet and lose all that's vital to being a man. (if your male) I wish you luck when you are traveling to a clinic daily to get this drug. With the diversion and abuse rates, It's only a matter of time. But hey, dislike me. It's not going to help your problem. It's still your solution, but painkillers have a way to turn on you. I can't believe all the old timers or "junkie veterans" don't know this.


Teejay- "I'm still compelled to share when i get responses or questions." See ya later man. Good luck. thanks for being respectful, even though i see the degree of sarcasm there. : )

Obviously when people are getting upset or acting like im a blacksheep. All because im focusing on the negative things that heavily weighs my decision to try to escape this life of painkillers. In fact, It's amusing to see how much resistance i get for wanting to stay away from painkillers and put this chapter behind me. I'm sorry if you want to put your recovery on pause by staying on subs. Fine though, reap what you sow. It's your life.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 8:08 pm 
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Will said, "Plus, i type iike crackhead."

I used to smoke crack like a crackhead!!!

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 11:15 pm 
Joe rogan i just want you to know i smoke ROCK!!!! - tyrone biggums

crack.... lol, never did it for me. Speed on the other hand. Ugh... I'd be high for a little while and then feel like im having a heart attack for like 6 hours. Not fun, yet you find yourself snorting more. What the hell!!


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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