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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 10:25 pm 
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Hey guys. I've read a couple of people who had recently came off Suboxone talk about how much they feel they can enjoy socialising again.

I'm really curious about this. I have been through a number of periods of depression since on Suboxone. Sure I do have bipolar disorder, which no doubt contributes, but I have wondered in the past if buprenorphine plays a role in these feelings.

I'm curious if people can elaborate on their experience while being on and after coming off Suboxone. How were things different?


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:15 pm 
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My whole life (pre-bupe), I've was very social and had never had any problem making conversation, relating to people, having fun, enjoying company, etc. This has never been an area where I have suffered or lacked skills. I'm talking before drugs took over my life and even during my active using. A couple years into sub maintenance I started suffering from general anxiety but specifically in social settings. I would get little mini panic attacks when I knew I'd be in a social setting. Talking to people had become a chore. I could feel my eyes start to dilate, I felt like people could see right through me, I'd get a little sweaty and just overall really nervous. This was so not like me! I am the life of the party, even without drugs. Making conversation had become a task as well. After a while, it was hard to think of things to say to relate to other people. I lost my sense of humor after a few years on maintenance. I think that stems from being comfortably numb. If you're not finding the humor in life, it's hard to be funny yourself, you know?

As for how it changed when I ended my suboxone maintenance, all I can say is that all that went away. Obviously, I was still a bit of a nervous ball of energy during acute withdrawals but after getting through that, I felt back to my regular self. Confident, easily relating to coworkers, friends and family. I've said it a million times and feel like a broken record but the sense of humor came back and the joy of truly laughing at a joke or something stupid (but totally funny) is not something that can be replaced by anything else. Laughing really is chicken soup for the soul. I say "truly laughing" because it's not like I didn't laugh on subs. I did, but I wasn't feeling it. It was more of a forced response than an authentic one. (- I was not aware of the laughing thing until I came off subs. I didn't know it at the time.)

I have not had any anxiety or panic attacks since I stopped sub treatment. Zip, zero, zilch. I don't believe that I have any major underlying disorders like bipolar or depression so my situation will not be exactly the same as another. (obvi)

I'm sure others will weigh in but that's my deal.. hope it helps!


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 2:28 am 
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I actually had a friend a few weeks ago, while really drunk, say to me "What's wrong with you Tom ... you used to be cool!" It kinda sucked to hear it. But it made me question whether he had a point, and whether I'd changed. I know I have changed. I don't feel "part of" much anymore, but I've always put it down to depression or post-Interferon damage. I also have a fear of calling people up, and often think people believe I'm fake or everything I say is stupid, like I'm going through the motions. And I never used to be like this. Like yourself, I was once really outgoing, and would make people laugh and laugh with people.

It just happens that the last couple of weeks some people have mentioned they had similar feelings while on Sub, and they went away after Suboxone. Hearing it has made me even more determined to stay away from heroin so I can one day get off maintenance. The only reason I've been on it this long is that I've used a number of times while on Sub, and the using has delayed my tapering off.

If these issues are related to Suboxone, and not bipolar ... I think it's getting gradually harder over time. I'm nearly 3 years on Sub!


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 3:09 am 
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I so know what you mean about not being apart of. Towards the last couple years of my maintenance it got the point where I didn't want to go out and socialize at all. I would go to things that I had to go to, like work parties or a wedding here and there, but the everyday gatherings that were going on around me were too much for me to deal with. I preferred to stay home and watch tv or movies. That was my comfort zone. I didn't have to talk to anyone or make any efforts. People stopped expecting me at gatherings and pretty much stopped inviting me altogether. Of course my husband is exempt from all this. I could always be myself around him but he would get frustrated because people would tease him about my whereabouts. Our biggest fight during the last few years was my inability to go and have a good time with our friends and coworkers. He just wanted his wife and side kick there along with him but I couldn't bring myself to do it. This was really frustrating for him. He didn't understand it. I also know what you mean about feeling like people can see you're faking it.

What dose are you on? I've probably missed this somewhere. 3 years is a nice little chunk of change. Do you still hang out with friends you used to use with? Other than slipping, has your life improved while on suboxone? The side effects (if that's what they are) will go away. More important is staying off the street drugs.

Sorry you could be having these issues too. I remember it like it was yesterday.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 3:37 am 
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My life has definitely improved. I used to either be attending a meeting a day, scraping a bit of clean time only to relapse after a few weeks / months. And they were hard relapses. Unlike on Sub, when if I used it'd only be once or twice every few months ... those ones nearly killed me. I moved all around the country to try and get clean. I also stole and deceived to pay for my drugs.

Now I'm studying with a distinction average, I'm able to hold a decent job, and a decent relationship. I can be a good uncle. My sister's okay with me babysitting my niece.

I just don't know if what I'm going through is real depression or something Sub-related. I'd like it to be Sub-related, that way I know I'm working towards things getting better. But if it's just how life will be from now then I might as well be using.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 12:31 pm 
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Teejay,

It very well could be sub related. I know it was for me and your situation sounds similar. I can totally relate. Keep moving forward on the sub knowing that any changes will go back to normal when you're not on it anymore. Hopefully someone else will chime in and you will here something that resonates with you.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 12:35 pm 
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I can't really say coming off Suboxone turned me into a social butterfly, but then again, I never was a social butterfly. I'm an introvert, always have been and because of that, I've always found social situations to be overwhelming and quite challenging to navigate. Now, if I'm with people I know well and feel comfortable around, I'm much different. I'm much more engaged and silly. Towards the end of my Suboxone use, it didn't matter if I knew you well or not, I was basically a social moron and would avoid social situations at almost all costs.

Your story about a friend saying you "used to be cool" resonated with me. While on Suboxone, I had my best friend say pretty much the same thing to me and it stunned me. He also said something about me being completely level all the time, emotionally. Again, I wasn't aware of this at all. It actually stung quite hard when he said it to me.

Well, when I got off Suboxone, I wasn't "level emotionally" anymore!! LOL. I think a lot of that was due to the high jump off Suboxone, though.

Today, my emotions are much closer to where they "should" be, but they still wander high and low at times, but that's also pretty normal for me.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2013 11:51 pm 
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Close friends didn't realize any difference with me on Suboxone till about 8 months into it. - I got told once I was becoming a shell of the happy, bouncy fun person I use to be. That one hurt a bit.

The change was just abrupt. It's completely lifted 33 days off Suboxone however.

Hopefully that continues.


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 Post subject: Subs and mood
PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 1:28 pm 
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Thank you everybody. I read all these posts and don't feel quite as carzy.... altho I do feel helpless. I have tryed to cut down and come off the subs and can't seem to do it. Possibly now that I know for sure they are keeping me "down" I have suspected this and now my suspicions are confirmed. I have to face life without interest and passion or find a way to quit. Pretty clear what I have to do...How in the world does anyone make it.
Good luck everybody....I am so grateful to come here and find answers. I don't like the answer sometimes....since I feel helpless to quit...at least I know whats causing this poor me business to go on and on. I compleatly relate to the social anxiety and most of all the things you all have talked about here. No self esteem etc.
DANG IT... why can't anything be possible ???? Made a mess of my whole life and evidently still doing exactly that. everybody saying "anything is possible" just makes me madder and more resentful.
Kind of tempts me to get an interview with the "final Exit" people. What a coward huh? Crapity crap crap and more crap.
Much love to all!!! XXXXxxxx.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 2:34 pm 
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My situation is a little different...I had twins last April. Since then my confidence level has gone way down. I used to be very social. I was the" party girl". If I saw any guy I'd be interested in, is go right on up to him. i usually hooked em too. In the last 6 months or so, I've become very shy. If a guy even smiles at me, I turn the other way. I don't feel confident or pretty. I thought this was due to having my children. Maybe sitting in the house alone a lot of the time. But now after reading your story, I'm starting to think it might be because of the subutex...I'm not trying to jump to conclusions....but its something to think about. I want to be my old self again. I know it will happen eventually. I would just really like to meet someone. Get back into the dating world. After having my children, all I've wanted is to have a complete family, someone to share my life with. Hopefully after I'm done with my subutex ill be back to my old self. Thank you for sharing, it gives my a new angle to look at!


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 8:09 am 
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Hey MissJess !

Congrats on the two new bubs. Exciting times!

Is it possible you're experiencing some post-partum depression? Did the depression kick-in after they were born? How long have you been on Sub for?

What's interesting is that all these symptoms people are speaking of in this thread, are actually signs of anxiety and/or depression. In my case, I have a mood disorder as it is. However, I have found in the past that I'm a bit more prone to depression while on Sub. It's strange. Even though I can get depressed while I'm NOT on Suboxone (I had periods of "clean time" without Suboxone), they're more isolated periods, whereas on Sub it seems to flavor the whole day.

The other thing you could do is get on internet dating! Put a hot photo up and you'll have 100's of guys messaging you in minutes.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:28 pm 
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I've considered post pard., but I just don't feel that's it. I think its more just being isolated. I moved a couple hours from where I grew up in the bay area after I had my babes. I don't know anyone up here. When I get to go see friends and family I'm sooooo happy! I've tried looking into mommy n me groups n things like that, but unfortunately not much goin on in the mountains. Online dating kinda freaks me out. I know its the way of dating in this new age. But whatever happen to guys comin up and asking a girl out the old fashion way. Cmon guys! Grab your balls n man up!

Like I said, I feel things will get much better. Just got a long road ahead of me. A lot of healing to do. It's only been 2 weeks n 1 day since my overdose. Not ready to date just yet. I'll get there. :)


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:37 pm 
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I think the main thing about online dating is its convenience, and the lack of effort that needs to go into it. I'll admit I met my current partner online, but that's not much of a glowing endorsement for online dating. I've used this forum to vent about it quite a lot.

I agree about the old-fashioned going up to an attractive woman in the street or on the tram ... it's an art-form that's quickly being forgotten in men, largely cos of online dating and general gutlessness. But I've had some shocking dating experiences after approaching women in public. You do it not knowing jack about her personality, and she doesn't know anything about you. You approach based largely on appearance - which means little - and how she carries herself - which means a bit more. There was only one time I clicked with a woman off the street, and that was because it turned into a 15 minute conversation where she blew me away with her intelligence, and made me work like a motherfu*(er to get her number. But she was from another city in the end :( But we're still facebook friends!

In my country, guys are timid. We have a reputation of wrestling crocodiles and teasing sting-rays but when it comes to women, guys here choke... unless they're loaded with a skinful of cheap beer, but by then their smell and demeanor is really attractive to the woman.


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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2013 1:34 pm 
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WantToBeFREE wrote:
Close friends didn't realize any difference with me on Suboxone till about 8 months into it. - I got told once I was becoming a shell of the happy, bouncy fun person I use to be. That one hurt a bit.

The change was just abrupt. It's completely lifted 33 days off Suboxone however.

Hopefully that continues.


Quoting this reply due to the time it took for wanttofree to notice anything.
I have been on subs for a little over a year now, for the first 9 months i was in heaven!
Everything was perfect, woke up happy and went to bed happy. felt energetic and alive,enjoyed everything i did!
then sometime at the end of being on sub for 9 months something changed??
I no longer had any interest in the SAME things as before???
would try to do the same routine but it was miserable i could not laugh at a movie now, play my guitar, had no interest in my GF or sex, felt super weak all the time, food tasted blah,etc
I am as of right now looking into low T as a possible cause but i am not sure.
the sub has to be the culprit since nothing else changed that would cause this,
very surprised to see that it took all those months for sub to have this effect on me


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PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 8:33 am 
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Hi Teejay! I didn't get to read through everyone's posts here but I just wanted to say that I have asked my dr. for months if Subs causesd anxiety disorders because I am a wreck! Just yesterday I had a full blown panic attack while at work.. I have had people close to me say "You used to have a sense of humor" and they are right.. I did.. Now, while tapering I almost have to rev myself up.. Tell myself what a GREAT day it's going to be and really try hard to believe it. This is going to be such a busy week for me and I've already had a panic attack on Monday.. I HATE it! It's so discouraging to when people say "There is no facts stating that Suboxone causes anxiety or depression" I can honestly tell you that I have never ever suffered before like I do now. I cannot wait to be done with this chapter in my life. I hope it gets better for you and It's encouraging to know that other people have had this issue and it stopped after they were done with there maintenance. Something I greatly look forward to! I find myself so scared that I will never be the "Old Me" again..


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PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 10:31 am 
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The frustrating thing is Everybody is alittle bit on their own with stuff like this...,because suboxone is yet to be studied and understood with any sort of quality and long term observations and honesty, the money making potential of a drug that can make addiction look like it disappeared for a year or two is far to high to waste time on things like research and safety and long term effects....instead they focused on doing battle using an army of lobbyists to rush the drug straight on the market......easy to do with a "miracle" drug.....


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PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 11:35 am 
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I think people have less issues like this on low dose bupe.....i think most people can cut there dose in half without any discomfort and decrease alot of this kind of thing


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PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2013 2:34 pm 
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i also think i had the same emotions like ROMEO said". but i find it a little easy'r with people on suboxone but then they do not seem to find it easy with me for some DAM REASON MAY BE I TALK TO MUCH AND GET TO PUSHY IN CONVERSATION WILE ON SUBS :?

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PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:56 pm 
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Hahaha totally.

I remember feeling less inclined when I got off to go out.

Although it was so freeing to be able to do whatever without suboxone.

This is why I can agree with folks who would want off.

I did feel better in some aspects of my life.

Confident for sure. I'm a confident person naturally but suboxone makes me feel like a sickly addict and it hurts my confidence oddly.


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PostPosted: Sun May 26, 2013 12:13 pm 
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I agree with a kind of comfort zone now being felt at home. I just really enjoy doin nothing, but I realize that is not the me I remember. And with a smaller dose I do feel more inclined to get out and have more of the fun I remember myself doing. I also think low T has a lot to do with it.. But overall quality of life is so much improved that I will take the bad with the good. It all will be ok, and I know this.. thank god for Suboxone,it has and does save me...


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