It is currently Mon Aug 21, 2017 3:59 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 10 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Brand new
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:00 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 2:24 am
Posts: 4
This site is fantastic and I can't help but wonder where it was 7 years ago when I began Subs. It started after 6 years of oxy use which ended when I found a brochure in the Doc's office for Sub. It ended my Oxy career but I never meant to stay on Subs for so long. 7 years at 16mg/day (and often more) was not the best decision I ever made but that's past. Right now I find myself 2 months off them yet totally stuck and depressed and amazed that I don't feel better yet. I had no idea what the PAWS were until recently. I still don't know how bad they get or how long they last. I lost nearly everything to my use, and am very anxious to re-build, start working hard again, live clean and help other people. But I'm finding it hard to do anything. I feel like I weight 800 pounds and the life has been sucked out of me. I'm really tempted to find relief in pills again and this is what scares me. It took me so long to get here but patience is running thin. I'll be looking forward to participating here and hearing your experiences with how you are dealing or dealt with post withdrawal. I am also happy to help answer any questions from others since I've been around this block a time a two! Thanks for having me!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Brand new
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:50 am 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 30, 2013 5:05 am
Posts: 156
Welcome Maestro,
I'm sorry to hear at 8 weeks, it still feels quite trying. I hope others who have experience coming off subs will jump in to support you.
Given it is such a unique experience for everyone, it is impossible to know when you will begin to feel better.
Two months is an achievement and I think it's only normal to in some way fantasise or think about of getting some relief. Its whether you are able to ride with those feelings without giving in.
I felt that way after a month or more off methadone. I became desperate to just feel ordinary for a few hours. Once I caved, that was it. I was fully using again.
I'm guessing subs worked if you were on them for as long as you shared.
Try to push yourself to do stuff that makes you feel alive. Exercise, listen to music, take baths, anything that takes your mind and body away from feeling defeated.
You will feel better, but you will need support in place to deal with life and cravings.
I will probably be on subs for life. Not because I am weak, but because I recognise that with such a long history of substance abuse, I will likely be forever vulnerable. That's just how I see it, given nothing else ever truly worked. Why would I sabotage what I have now.
Take it moment by moment and talk to us when things feel difficult.
We are here for you.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Brand new
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 9:18 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator

Joined: Fri May 01, 2015 9:58 am
Posts: 882
Hi Maestro, Welcome! So happy that you found us! I have read lots and lots of posts and usually at two months out people are feeling better. I have a question, do you think that you might be dealing with depression? I have read so many stories in which people realize that depression is what led to addiction or sobriety and the loss of your drug of choice has led to feeling depressed. Just something to think about. I hope that you start to feel better very soon! I wish I had more info on this topic. I am sure someone else will respond soon! Please, keep posting!


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject: Re: Brand new
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 11:02 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2310
Location: Tennessee
Hello Maestro welcome to the forum.

I haven't had PAWS coming off suboxone but I have had it before after I went to an inpatient treatment facility to get off oxycodone and morphine. At the time, I hadn't had enough clean time to have really experienced major PAWS and it hit me hard. The depression, anxiety and cravings were miserable. I tried everything the counsellors had suggested but nothing eased it. I stayed that way for months. That was coming off my drugs of choice though and I hadn't done much preparation like someone who's been on suboxone for yrs so I'm assuming maybe that will make a difference. Like Katipo I'm probably a lifer on sub also, so I don't know exactly what ur feeling being off sub after yrs of maintenance.

I had such intense cravings and anxiety when I would stop using that I'd relapse every single time...even with months of doing no pills at all and I think that's why it's best for me to possibly be a lifer. Not everyone feels like I do and I absolutely believe that there's many many ppl that can taper off sub and live a life free of all opiates. So imo it depends on the person. I think that somewhat of what ur feeling is normal. Pelican, a member of this forum, has been off suboxone for a long time and I hope that they can chime in and tell ya more of what to expect. I just wanted to tell ya that I think ur pretty dang strong and should be very proud of urself for coming this far after being on sub for seven years!! That's awesome. Keep in mind though, if it just gets too much to handle and u think ur possibly going to relapse, u can always go bk on suboxone. I know u don't want to do that but it's not a sign of weakness. I've read lot's of ppls stories on this forum where they've had to go bk on maintenance. Everyone's journey is different and u should be proud of urself no matter what happens.

_________________
Jennifer


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Brand new
PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:05 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 2:24 am
Posts: 4
Yes I do think depression is part of why I'm not feeling better yet. I switched from zoloft to wellbutrin last week. Thanks to the others for the motivating tips. Interesting that many of you are on subs for life. Going back on subs would solve the issues I'm having now, while negating all the work I did to get off. I'm confused, but think I need to be patient. Anxiety in my stomach is a killer I'm dealing with ever since getting off. Thanks again for your help!!!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Brand new
PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:54 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:33 pm
Posts: 14
I am just curious, did you taper off slowly or did you stop all at once? I am on about 6-8mgs a day and have been for a year. Before that I was on 80 mgs methadone a day. Subs have helped me get off of harder stuff, and I must thank it for saving my ass. But I would like to get off of it someday. How long are the withdrawals lasting? Are you able to sleep? Have you tried exercise? Let me know how you are doing.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Brand new
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 3:09 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 2:24 am
Posts: 4
I tapered off over 6 weeks from 16mg/day. And I just re-read above that I failed to mention something important. I did this in a treatment center. I don't know that I'd have the discipline to do it alone and I really admire those who have. The withdrawls were not too bad....just long. Anxiety mostly and fatigue. And in a treatment center that I was in they don't give you much for sleep, no ambien or klonipin for anxiety.
In your case I'd imagine you'd have an easier time given the length and dose you've been at. Just take it slow, one reduction at a time. Yes I have exercised a lot and it does help. I've seemed to low point where I'm just stuck and I need to figure it out. Thanks and good luck!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Brand new
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 5:34 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2015 5:01 pm
Posts: 80
You've made it a couple months without subs, which sounds like the right decision for you (from what I read), and you commented that many of us choose subs for life. I am one of those who as of now, choose forever; think about it this way, if you concede that addiction is a disease (like the AMA says it is), then medication is used to cure disease, or at least keep it in check. Diabetes patients use insulin daily, heart patients use blood thinners, or even baby aspirin daily, high cholesterol people take daily meds, and millions of people who have been diagnosed with a disease, go to their doctor, who supply them with a treatment (medication, used daily, probably for life). So, I view my medication (suboxone) as the treatment for my disease that keeps it in check (since there is no cure), why would I not take my medicine to keep my ailment in remission. A diabetic wouldn't just decide to stop taking insulin right? That's the medical perspective I take. It is my choice, because it makes sense to me after 5 rehabs, multiple ER visits (OD), and no real success staying off drugs, until suboxone. Now, I also am proud, and applaud those who were on subs, and now who are off, if doing whatever they're doing is working (keeping them sober, and out of addict lifestyle), then that's what matters.

Depression sucks, period, I was on wellbutrin, and many others before I found that Prozac worked (for a couple years), but then suboxone also allowed me to get off that. From an inpatient treatment perspective, the most common modality used out there is the 12 step abstinence only method (when I was at Memorial Hermann, they allowed 2-3 days of subs to help with detox only). For a lot of people, myself included, 12 steps works for a while, it's the only thing offered primarily, and while you're in the safe confines of a facility, it seems to be working, so when people leave, they continue, and many (over 90% relapse- most facilities I was out, and meetings I attended, claimed that only about 5-10% of people stayed sober). Why do people accept a "treatment" that only works 5-10% of the time...would you keep investing money if you constantly lost 90%, no you'd find something that works. MAT is proven to work, I think you said you stayed off drugs for 6-7 years, the problem is CHANGE- people don't like it, abstinence only modalities in rehabs have been used for so long, that people find it hard to accept a different treatment method. The big book even states that we have a disease, so why not let medical advances treat the problem. I think the big book even says (paraphrasing here), that one day science may find a cure, while bupe products are not a cure to addiction, they are a realistic, viable solution.

So for me, I don't leave it up to chance, I take my medication everyday, and I don't have to worry about using. If a diabetic forgets to take their insulin, or a high blood pressure patient forgets their daily pill, they both are at risk of having negative consequences, it's not inevitable, but possible. While I'm on subs, I take away the chance that I'll use, score, OD, hurt someone, lose my job, rob someone, or anything else I might do while high out of my mind. It sounds like you've thought about going back on subs, maybe you don't have to. For me, after 15 years, I just can't afford anymore mistakes. Again, I applaud you if you can stay sober without subs, and I applaud you if you stay sober on subs. Too many people in the treatment business are missing the point, science has found something that works, so why not use it. Success rates for people on long term sub use are just factually proven to stay sober longer, and out of the addictive lifestyle. Just something for anyone reading this to think about.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Brand new
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 9:55 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 2:18 pm
Posts: 66
Right on Todd1999,

my sentiments exactly. Like you I kept trying to quit and stay clean. And like you no matter how hard I tried or how long I succeeded, ultimately I would relapse and each time I did it got worse and more deadly. I've conceded finally, at 60, that yes, this is a disease, my brain chemistry has been altered from years of use and I need this medication to stay alive. I hate it that I have to accept this fact since it does come with side effects that often are hard to deal with but at least they are manageable. I can function on this medication. And a bonus for me is that it works better than any antidepressants ever did so it's the only one I take.

The worst side effect is constipation. I'd rather be constipated than dead.......

Thanks for you input, right on! megster


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject: Re: Brand new
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 10:06 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2016 9:40 pm
Posts: 627
Great comments by Todd. Amazing post Todd - which I why I continue to come to this site!!!

Maestro,
For you, you are choosing to stop bup and are at 2 months already. Which is huge. Yes, it WILL get better. It just does, always does. You are at that point where real improvement can happen. In fact, maybe WD is almost over... Imo, 8 - 12 wks is the time period and per Dr J, takes 8 - 12 weeks for new receptors to form. You are there or almost there! Go to the Talkzone, search the menu and select Withdrawal. Many articles will come up. Scroll down till you see something on bup withdrawal. My 2 cents is for you to keep pushing. Keep repeating to yourself over and over - it will get better, it will get better, it will get better! It always does.

Got a couple of questions... Since you were on bup for 7 yrs, were you able to make life changes to best enable you to stay clean? Any recovery work during that time? Once you are thru the WDs, and if you start to really crave, what are your plans? Like Amy said on another poster's thread, addiction is sneaky. Stopping bup can be hard work but the really hard part is staying clean wo bup's assistance. I'm a few yrs off bup and NO way could I have gotten here wo my time on bup, making big changes in my life + recovery work. And coming here counts. I wish you my best, P

_________________
Did well on Suboxone. Stopped May 2011.
Stopping went well -- its the staying stopped -- where the real work begins.
Coming here 'keeps recovery green'.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 10 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
cron
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group