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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:37 pm 
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Hello. I have been on Suboxone for a year or so. I started out prob 7 years or so ago taking tabs recreational, then somehow it flowed over into my work career, I found myself taking excess amounts at work. Then I lost my job, had house payments and all the stuff to go along with it to pay for. I found myself selling large quantities of pills to pay for my bills and support my habit. Well my habit spiraled out of control, I found myself eating 30-45 tabs a day, Running all over the metropilitan area selling and picking up. I eventually found myself in the hospital, halucinating. Spent a week or so at A rehab hospital. Got out and felt like straight shit. Found myself taking pills and on the daily routine within a week. Then I eventually lost my car, lost my house, everything. moved back home, tried to stop taking pills cold turkey. Found myself back in the hospital halucinating and severe withdrawals symptoms. Was sent off to some rehab place for 2 weeks. Then a friend introduced me to Suboxone, finally got my stuff going straight, got 2 jobs and am starting to piece my life back together.
I dont speak to any of my friends that I use to roll with, as they are still up to the same crap. Just trying to reach out to others in the same boat. Maybee find new friends.
I take 1 sub a day, does me fine. If I take anymore than that I find myself Irritated and cranky. Only withdrawal symptoms I have are sleepless nights, and Zombie mode in the morning.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 9:48 pm 
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hi! every time i read someones story, it sounds just like mine. starting to use at work to do my job better, then next thing i knew, i crossed the invisible line to where i needed them to do my job, what a nightmare! i am glad you found subs, it was the only answer for me. good to hear you are putting your life back together, this is a very helpful forum with alot of great people that take the time to help others.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 12:17 am 
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Im still kinda new to these forums too, well i have been reading them off and on for sometime now. Its no shock to me when i read other peoples stories, there is always something that fits 100% with my own. When i got prescribed subs 2 years ago, it all started getting better, i still have alot of the same issues that addicts have, but over all i dont know where i would be without suboxone.

Welcome to the forums, hopefully you will find as much useful info here as i have. I dont know alot of the people here yet as well, but they all seem to be very helpful to each other whenever someone needs help with anything.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 10:36 am 
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Thanks Pugmommy and Ego for replying, nice to meet you.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 10:38 am 
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Hello 3D!
Good to have you hear I am pretty new to this forum and sto subs (started in mid jan) after a big issue with percocet due to back problems but of course i took way more than needed in the long turn. I also had my first baby last year and he's what made me get want to get off percs and on to subs. Anywho... sounds like u had a tough run with your drug of choice..it makes anyone want to sign a deal with the devil himself just to get what you want... But i'm so happy to hear things are starting to come together. Thats the thing that sucks most of us here. either lost things, jobs, family, car ect or almost lost those things we worked hard for . I am just starting my family and trying to figure if i want to go back to school or work but i had to quit work when i went though terrible withdrawls and had to get better, so far so good.. Feel free to talk about whatever this is a place where i can vent because i dont really really bring this up to anyone i know except my baby's father and my mother.. sorry so long.. hope this path keeps you going the right way


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 11:11 am 
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Thanks honeybee! Nice to meet you 2! Thanks for sharing. It is hard to share with other people who arent in the some position as us ( dont take suboxone ) I dont talk to anyone about it really.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:36 pm 
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Hey no prob.. the tough part can be if all of your friends are users/dealers because then it leaves you with no one clean to chill with.. If you dont mind me asking when u say tabs. do u mean loratabs, or oxy or ???. I'm sure withdrawl at that high dosage was a beast to deal with. I was about 120mg of percocet a day functioning normally (or so i thought) so when i ran out the last time i thought my withdrawl was bad. the chills, sweats, and dizziness i could almost deal but everyone bone in my body hurt i felt like i was on fire, i went through W/d a few times when i ran out and each time it got worse, this jan it got the worst and thats when i went to sub doc. .. since you have been on sub for a year how are you feeling? did u meet some cool people at work or anything? did you start something to keep you busy.. video games, a trade, hunting , exercise ???
I take 2 films a day. for now it works great it just started leveling off where im not getting the side effects or the "feeling
of taking something. Plus subox has killed my appetite so i lost weight im trying to gain it back, lots of baking cookies and trying to eat. I had bad headaches at first and had that super energy feeling it gave me at first now i just feel normal. what about you feel free to talk if you want. right now i took sometime off work so i'm at home all day with my 1year old son, i can only watch so much teen mom lol.. jk. I'm in PA and the weather has been pretty nice so we have been going outside to walk and to the little park by where we live ... so what do you do for fun?


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 8:06 pm 
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I was taking on average 40 Loratab tens or whatever I was currently selling at the time, Which ranged from 7.5 loratabs to Vicoden tens or Perc Tens, I would take xanax with them ( around 4 to 8 a day ). I also would take roxys if I had them. You name it I had it. I was getting huge ziplocs bags full of pills probably once a week. I was my best customer. Useally had green Loratab Tens Or the Blue ones, yellow ones, white ones., you name it, I came across it.
My withdrawal symptoms were out of this world, I was on a different planet. I had no concept on was going on around me. I remember the first time I was having an out of body experience, I think I was laying on the couch for a few days tripping my mind off, had the Tv on which didnt help out any, I ended up calling the police because I thought someone was outside my house with a sniper rifle trying to kill me. Thank god my Mom came over when they showed up. They told her to take me to the hospital where I stayed for a few days halucinating in a room. I remember I started to Throw up alot, my stoumach was on fire. They ended up taking my over to a recovery/drug treatment hospital. I started to halucinate again, and started throwing up again all over, so they switched me to looney side of the hospital. It took me a few days to come out of it. I dont think the Hospital I was at new what was really going on.
The second time was at my parents house, I remember I had a bunch of pills on me and started halucinating bad, thought the cops were after me and on there way to bust me, ended up flushing them all down the toilet. I think I was halucinating for about 2 days and my mom called 911 because I was rolling around on the floor laughing and throwing shit around. I was really out of it. I also remember laying on my bed and a bunch of cops coming in the room and trying to access the situation, I told them I was asleep and to go away. LOL But thank god I had flushed those pills. So they took me to the hospital where all of the same withdrawals happened again. I ended up being sent off to some recovery center 2 hours away from house for 2 weeks or so. I just remember halucinating really bad there.
I know what you mean when everybone in your body hurts, you feel like straight shit after you go through all that, no energy, you dont really want to interact with anyone.
Yeah all of my friends or users or what not. They dont try to contact me because they know Im not selling anything any more. It doesnt really bother me. I havent really clicked with anyone at work or what not that I really want to hang out with yet. I just do my own thing, try to keep to myself.
One thing I started to do was I got back into collecting Sports cards. I bought a few big collections and Im I buy alot of them off ebay, so that keeps me busy. I also help run an online movie/tv website when I have time. Which helps alot. keeps me busy.
Suboxone has definetly not killed my appetite, I eat everything lol. I dont know how long you have been on subs, but hopefully your appetite will come back to you soon. I also would get bad headaches when I first started taking it, especially if it was hot outside or inside where I was at. I would take a few tylenol. But its not as bad as it was it first. I probably get 1 headache a week.
It also makes me feel normal when I take it now. No rush or anything. I feel like a zombie when I wake up though. Very tired and groggy and takes me awhile to get moving. I try to get my head underneath the shower to wake me up.
I watch alot of movies and tv shows, always on the internet since I dont really hang out with my old friends that much. How was your trip to the park lol. Im from Atlanta


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 6:25 am 
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Location: Southeastern US (Alabama)
I'm only about 2 hours from the ATL ..I'm in eastern/central alabama. Ironically, I have an ex-girlfriend coming to visit today that lives in Georgia. (We dated for like a week, then we decided to just be friends, and we got along better as friends than we ever did while dating...all we did was fuss and fight while we dated.)
This girl has come to me with all sorts of things..and when I first got bad into pills, I almost stepped out on my wife with this girl..although we hadn't really seen each other in years, we stayed in constant contact via the computer..and I remember showing my buddy the text message on the way to work one day where this girl was saying that she would come over to Alabama the following weekend and what exactly we were going to do...explicitly.

But I never did...it was the pills giving me that "Superhero syndrome" where I thought that I had to constantly have my pecker dipped in something for the thing to continue working...I dunno what it was about painkillers that made me that way..but I couldn't get enough...but then when I DID get it, I couldn't get to the "finish line" without an hour or two of huffing + puffing and I remember my wife telling me a few times to hurry up and I would just stop.

But anyway..my wife, myself and this friend from Georgia have all been friends since the teenage years. We both got our marriages together and quit talking shit on texts to each other..but she still talked to me afterwards in a more "intimate" way..only it was problems with her husband or something like that she would tell me. Nothing about me + her ever came up..she would tell me what he was doing/saying that hurt her...or would tell me things he wouldn't do in the bedroom...In fact, she told me that she had a bit of a liking to having her feet...nibbled or however she worded it (during the "do")..and he wouldn't ever do that for her. That was odd..what do you respond with to a female that you don't want anything from except friendship when she tells you that "he won't suck my toes when we do it"......?!?!?


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:22 am 
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its nice to meet you too addicted! i was only taking a few vicoden a day, thought i would join a methadone clinic to be cured. i wasnt educated at the time, obviously. in no time they had me up to 120 mgs a day! then i had to move from detroit back north to my ex husband to work out our issues and things werent working in the city. i thought i could kick it and be done. a few days after i was in the er. found a doc that would prescribe done until i got a job and could afford sub, thats when it got real crazy. would use up my month supply in less than a week. finally did the switch 2+ years ago, things immediately got better for me. glad you found us and sub! talk to ya soon!


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:54 am 
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I think we all have went to the methadone clinic at some point. When i went they started me at the low dose like 30 or something ( i cant remember) I didnt like the way it made me feel, I just wanted to sleep. But I kept going for a few days and they were trying to bring me way up on the dose, and I told them I just wanted the low dose because I wanted to quit. I eventually just stopped going ended up back on pills because I didnt like the way I felt.
Jonathan sounds like if you just ignore her text she will stop texting you eventually. lol


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:51 am 
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Addict3d,

WOW!! That is crazy. I couldn't imagine hallucinating like that. Thank god for your mom- I'm sure she's relieved to see you doing so well now. That's a crazy story and I'm glad to hear you doing so good now. I agree about the appetite, I put on a few pounds in the beginning with the subs. I used to not have to worry about what I eat but now I do. Small price to pay though. Thanks for sharing that story- you've been thru a lot and are doing great. Congrats.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 2:24 pm 
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@3d- I don't know what i would have done if i started hallucinating from withdrawl.. that would have scared the hell out of me!
I did have the really "out of it " feeling like you do when u have a bad fever but nothing like that ! did you stop the benzo s at the time too? i heard benzo withddrawl is wicked and dangerous. I was taken perc 10/325 probaly anywhere from 8-12 a day. I know i would take 2 as soon as i woke up just to get moving in the morning and i know by noon i usually had had about 5 total just to feel normal. I never really mixed it with anything. I took klonopin for panic but i only took those when my anxiety got bad because the combo made me sleepy (where percs gave me energy) and i was afraid of falling asleep with a baby so i tried not to mix. - i can def see why you were you own best customer you had the easiest access to whatever you wanted most likely when you wanted. i almost always had an RX for my pills but when i started to blow through it was not good.
It's good to hear you collecting something, i don't know much about cards except like most things, rarity, condition, player i'm sure are all important. i got lucky because i didn't have to lose any "friends" when this happened because anyone i knew into drugs i stopped hanging out with when i got pregnant. You will always see who your real friends are cause they wont care if you dont party or sell. they will still want to chill , play video games, see a movie ..ect . I can't wait till i have a normal appetite i do crave sweets but somedays i put the baby to bed and its like.. all i had all day was a cosmic brownie hehe... anyway i'm glad your away from the drug scene. .. The park was great. im near pittsburgh and our weather was nice and now it 's chilly again


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 6:02 pm 
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Thanks Nogrovin for the kind words. @honeybee- theres not much you can do if you halucinate in your withdrawals but just go with it. Its something I never want to go through ever again in my life. I can still remember some of the wierd shit I thought was happening around me, You would prob laugh your ass of if I told you. I think I was taking so many pills that I eventually just got sick and start to halucinate and I remember at one point trying to eat some more pills because I thought it would make me feel better but I just threw them up. I dont really know how long how I was out of it and all. I hope its something you or anyone on here ever has to go through. I was told that is very similiar to Heroin withdrawals at that high of use, but Im not really sure. If you ever seen the movie Trainspotting where the guy withdrawals off herion.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:24 pm 
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I hope it's something YOu never have to go through again. I saw trainspotting and was he was tripping out it was soo creepy. I'm glad you are doing well. how is your sub doc. mine is pretty good, i go every 2 weeks though and and it's mandatory to see a counselor which i don't mind she's easy to talk too, mainly talk about my anxiety than sub , because i really haven't had a lot of cravings thankfully. My baby keeps me busy and i watch a lot of shows and movies and walk a lot... daily trips to the park lol


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:14 pm 
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My sub doc is very nice. Sometimes I have to chat with the counselor but they are all pretty nice. Seems like you have to wait forever for them to get to you though.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:41 pm 
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lmao.. do you mean in the waiting room? i thought that was just my office because he see s other patients for non dependency issues. and yes i always wait forever to be seen. I also get drug tested every time. last visit was the first one i didnt


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 11:53 am 
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addict3d wrote:
I think we all have went to the methadone clinic at some point. When i went they started me at the low dose like 30 or something ( i cant remember) I didnt like the way it made me feel, I just wanted to sleep. But I kept going for a few days and they were trying to bring me way up on the dose, and I told them I just wanted the low dose because I wanted to quit. I eventually just stopped going ended up back on pills because I didnt like the way I felt.
Jonathan sounds like if you just ignore her text she will stop texting you eventually. lol


I went that route also, although i didnt go to a clinic. I got hooked on pain meds trying to bring myself down from an active speed addiction i maintained for 6 years. used to take oxy and herion to try and come down so i could sleep, and before long it grabbed me and i was off and running, and deathly addicted to opiates. i finally got sick and tired of it and found myself an endless supply of methadone.. i bought methadone off the streets for about another 5 years, just taking them everyday so i could get to work, and even function at all. Methadone was not the answer for me, i found that when i ran out i was in even worse shape. the wds were the worst, i thought i could ride them out, and be over it but they seemed to never go away, even 10-20 days without it never got better. Suboxone has been the only thing that has kept me going.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 7:42 am 
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Hello AD3 & Others.....,
Welcome to what I think is the Best forum out here to help with MY Addiction !!!
I say My addiction because that's THE story I know best! You are all correct when you say that our stories sound very familiar... The one thing you can be sure of is that No matter where we started We ALL end up in the Same place if our Addiction starts calling the shots and making the decisions that make us who we are!
The place I ended up is my Bottom. I was (am) Broke, Emotionally Spent and Physically Sick!! I had no one left to borrow from, No more 401k to cash in, No more Savings for my Daughters College Education to steal from, No more life left in me to fight! BUT some how I was able to Drag myself to my Drs. office! He had been my PCP for 15 years +/- and been one of the Drs. I conned into Scripts for my " Bad Back, My Bad Hip, My Sore whatchamacallit, ...etc., etc., ..." He didn't know much about the Suboxone Program. But Lucky for me a Dr. in his Building was starting a Program. I was only the 3rd person to go into the New Suboxone Program and I'm proud to say that after 3 months in I was the only one still Clean and in the Program..... That was 3 years ago and Thank God I am still Clean and taking Suboxone Today! I only say that so someone "NEW" may get the hope that I was so desperately looking for when I came crawling to this site! There are Many fine people on this forum that have been through the Opiate Roller Coaster and survived... So if it's hope and encouragement you are looking for then I think you have found the Right Place.....
Please keep posting your progress and Best of Luck to you All.......

God Bless
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:45 pm 
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Thanks Twinply, nice to meet you! Good to hear you are doing great!
@ Honeybee, it takes about 4 hours everyime I go lol. I have to devote my entire day to go there just about.
@Ego- How long have you been subs? Glad to hear your doing better. I couldnt imagine being on Methadone for 5 years, im sure your wds were bad. I remember when I went to the methadone clinic I asked a few of the Nurses/Workers there about Suboxone ( because I was hearing about it, but didnt know where to get it ( 3 ago) asked them could they supply me with it, where could I get it. They told me it was very expensive and directed me back into the methadone. I wish I could have had the oppritunity then as a full blown addict on opiates to have tried the medicine.
Im glad I finally found this though, really changed my life.


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