It is currently Sun Aug 20, 2017 9:25 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 2:38 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:44 am
Posts: 88
Location: NWNJ
My addiction has lasted about a good 6 years.Looking back I cant belive that much times elapsed.I have 2 kids-11 and 7.The sad thing is I have been addicted more than half my sons life and almost all of my daughters life.They are the 2 greatest kids anyone could have.They were born via c section and I was prescribed Percs for the pain.Took them as presribed,never thought twice.Fast forward a short time later...

I am a hairdresser-barber so as a direct result of repetitive motion and the vibration from the clippers,I developed Tendonitis,Tennis elbow and Crepitus.Painful.Got about 12 cortisone shots in my elbow over the course of a yr and a half.My Dr gave me Vicoprofen at the time.When I took them that time,something changed.I really took a liking to them as they gave me tons of energy,patience,wanted to be social(unlike me),always got lots done while I used-felt like I could take on the world and it was a happy place.A few months later I went through my very first of probably close to a hundred withdrawals.I was laid up on the couch,my husband at work putting in overtime since it was winter and snowing.I *thought* I had the worst case of the flu going.Took days to get better.My memory was and is never good.At some point got more pills and continued the cycle.Over time my arm healed and my addiction was going full force.

I had the kind of Dr I could call and he would call in 120 pills at a time with refills.I only had to visit him once every 6-8 months.He never failed me.I learned over time I could manipulate him and had him call them in to 2 different pharmacys.One went thru ins,the other I paid cash.I would be lucky if in the beginning I got 2 wks out of the pills,then it went to 12 days,7 days etc...They werent working so great for me anymore so I gradually moved up to other things.Inbetween I took to stealing them.I couldnt go into someones house without excusing myself to go to the bathroom to snoop and if the opportunity was there,steal.I have stolen from friends and family.Right from under their nose,I was ruthless and just had my eye on the prize.

Nothing I was proud of.I also came up with some resources and would buy them inbetween.As time went on I gradually moved up to my DOC-the blue devils.Roxi 30's.Then I learned a close friend of mine was living a paralell life so we became each others source.Not a good thing.Each and every month when I ran out I would go through withdrawals-wasted so much time,so many days sleeping on the couch during the days,so extremely fatigued,then restless legs at night and insomnia,coupled with a fever that lasted a week,goosebumps,sweating,cravings,couldnt be bothered with anyone or anything etc...Horrible but...I didnt time and time again.Only until now with the Sub am I able to go past 30 days and not have any desire to use.

I have a supportive husband but of course I hid ALOT from him.He knew I had a problem and this past Jan,poured out my heart and soul determined to do the right thing and stop the madness,was good for a few months then started my old pattern.I kept it to myself and always knew Sub would help and wanted to try it but that meant having to admit to him that I screwed up AGAIN.That wasnt too hard to do since he picked up on it the last time I was in withdrawal.We called his Dr and he gave the green light on the Sub,after trying for days to find a Dr,I was able to get on it.I feel like my life is starting over and I feel so good and am having thoughts and feelings that I havent felt in a long long time.Not even when I was using.Its been a godsend to me and along with support, NA,and AL-ANON(My parents are alcoholics),I am moving on with my life and dealing with feelings that I have just tried to bury.It is so freeing to not be consumed with thoughts of how,where,when,what do I have to say to get my needs met 24/7.I feel like a weight has lifted from me.

_________________
I just want to get the monkey off of my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:43 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Thanks for sharing your story melijm!!

There are definitely a lot of parallels between your drug use and mine, it's astounding how powerful addiction is and the lengths it'll drive us to.

I have a 12 year old daughter, I was high as a kite for most of her young life, my only saving grace there is that I was still a good daddy to her even though I was stoned all the time. She thinks I'm the best daddy in the world.....go figure, eh?

Your husband sounds very supportive and I think that's crucial to your success. My wife stood by me through ALL of my addiction, she loved me better again. Having a great spouse helps tons.

I'm so happy that Suboxone is working so well for you!!

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group