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PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 9:34 pm 
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Hi,
Wanted to share with you, my experience so far, and a new way for me to get off the pain pill merry-go-round. If you look back at my threads( I am not sure where I posted all of them) I basically was weening off oxy with some success but decided that it was not for me.
I did get stable at about 50mg a day and was on track to be off by the end of the year. Well, I cant really explain the feeling I had but yesterday I got up and took 15mgs oxycodone and something came over me that said I dont want to take this drug anymore. I know it might sound stupid or corny but I just was sick of this stupid drug. I took the rest of my script( about 20-30mg oxycodone) down to the P.M. doctor and told her I wanted to go on sub. She supported what ever I wanted to do. I was on sub before got down to .125mg- .25mg stopped for about a week then had surgery and got back on pain pills again. Anyway, turned the pills in to her, got 60- 2mg strips prescribed, picked them up and went home.
Now, the strange part, I took the 15mg at 600am, yesterday, I kept using the COWS scale to determine my withdrawal point. I did not have to induce until today, at 300pm, 33 hours later and I only needed .4mg to induce. Its been three hours and a half hours and I feel fine. I even felt like I could have gone longer but was worried because I need to work tmrw morning and wanted to be sure I was in the right condition to work.
I must say I feel this was the right thing for me to do. I know I have a real physical dependence on these pills, be on them any length of time and most people will be physically dependent. Now the mental mind F**K they can have on you is something different. The addiction part is real and I have learned through this web-site what it can do to you, basically destroy your life or kill you. I take this so serious that even though I have cronic pain issues I am going to find other avenues to control my pain once I am off of the suboxone. I am not planning to stay on sub for very long, I am very happy that it only took .4mg to stabilize me. This is a new chapter to my life and I will figure it out and I appreciate the support, the feedback, everything this site offers. I am going to take it one day at a time, not be hard on myself, and figure out whats best for me. Ciao, I will keep you posted.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 9:52 pm 
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Hi, Also if I can give you any advice at all about inducing on this drug. Use the least amount you need to be stable. Be in moderate withdrawal using the COWS scale and start with small doses, wait for about 90 minutes, increase small doses. You need to know that even if you are feeling really shitty you will feel better soon. Most doctors are inducing patients with way too much and I feel its a disservice to the patient. I believe that inducing on the smallest effective dose will give yourself the best experience whether you need to stay on suboxone long term to get your life worked out or short term, if thats the best thing for you. Whatever your choice, talking to other addicts, going to counseling, support groups., talking on this forum, etc., etc are all real good tools to help you how to learn to live without narcotics. I believe everyone deserves to be happy, take care of yourself. ciao


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 10:20 pm 
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Good advice, thank you! I'm inducing for the second time tomorrow. The first time I took too much and hated it. I Plan to start tomorrow at the lowest dose possible (maybe 0.5 mg or less), hoping I have better luck.
Can I ask how you feel today, your first day? Drowsy, energized, drugged up, normal, nauseas, what? Thanks.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 17, 2013 3:27 am 
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Welcome back Justdoit4u!!

I kind of smiled when I read how you had just got tired of the "pain pill merry go round." In my mind, that's a great indicator of your future success. At some point in time, many of us reach the same point as you and we muster the strength to say, "I'm done."

I'm guessing your attitude had a lot to do with your low dose induction back to Suboxone. Having the right attitude about things can make a world of difference.

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 17, 2013 8:17 pm 
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Hello,
Went to work today and felt fine, took about .25mg when I got up and another sliver .125mg around 200pm, I am home now so I will be good until tmrw. This drug is so powerful, I really cant explain how little I need to feel just fine. One thing that is hard for me is that it helps with my pain so I am thinking of trying to maybe take 3 real small doses( every 8 hrs ) and see how that goes. I really felt good today at work, better then being on the oxycodone. I was in a good mood, low pain, had energy, it was a good day!
I refuse to be hard on myself, I will work with the suboxone that is right for me. One thing for sure is that I want to keep to the lowest dose that keeps me feeling o.k. There is a mental mind f**k that plays with me on this drug as well. There becomes a rationale that because I am on such a low dose that why not try to do more, maybe get a high out of it. That is the stinking thinking that gets you in trouble, " other people are doing 16mg a day why dont you just do 4mg". The difference for me, is that I recognize this behavior through listening to you guys here in recovery as well as my own counseling I have had on this matter. My thinking is to just use the suboxone, as little as possible, to be stable right now and continue to make choices that benefit my mental and physical recovery from those damn pain pills!! Romeo you have been great as well as Tinydancer, and quite honestly, I get something out of almost everyone who shares on this forum. I will keep posting, I hope I can help anybody, half as much, as everybody here has helped me with being honest about there drug use and recovery. Ciao


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