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 Post subject: Back for round 2
PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 9:09 pm 
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Hey everyone, so it took a while for me to find the strength to post this. After a successful 6 weeks on subs, I sadly relapsed, really bad. As in sold everything, drained my bank account, borrowed, lied, the whole nine yards. I tried so hard to get back on the subbies but kept taking them too early and having precipitated withdrawals. Today i came clean w the family and of course they knew all along. They were just waiting for me to come clean...anyways i have a few valium, some clonodine and a fresh refill on my subs. I plan on waiting a full 36 hours because i tried waiting 18 n it was not enough. I really am committed to this. I want the life i had a month ago back. This last month has been absolute hell. I was so much happier on subs and regret so much my mistake. Well there it is i got it off my chest and hopefully tomorrow i can check in after a smooth induction.


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 Post subject: Check in
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 2:40 am 
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So my last use was 11 am yesterday. I made it to 4am and took a 4mg subutex after waking up in fullblown wd. I remember putting it in my mouth and praying that pw would not happen and the next thing i knew i woke up at 10 am feeling fine. I took clonodine all day today and just took it easy. I was planning on waiting as long as possible (36+ hours) to take my suboxone strips. Iys now 11pm and i am starting to feel w/d set on...im just really nervous about taking a suboxone. After al this work it would break my heart if i went into pw. What do you guys think? Would i b ok? I only plan on taking 2mg im just...scared. Any input or advice would be greatly appreciated


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 Post subject: Success
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 1:17 pm 
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So just another update. I am now officially back on the subs!!! I can't tell you all how happy I am to wake up tbis morning feeling normal and happy. These things really are a miracle. I can now have my life back. By the grace of god I get to go to work today and function and for once, save my tip $ for something else. I am now giving my paychecks and excess funds to a trusted family member until i get sum sober time under my belt. Even though i didnt get any replies to my post I am glad that I had this resource to vent what I'm going through. This community is a wonderful place to be.


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 Post subject: Good News
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 2:02 pm 
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That is great you being back on Sub. And yes, time to start getting your life back together and try to take it easy this time.

Sometimes people go through the PW and some don't. For me, I had no problem getting back on Sub from Hydro. But my guess is that Hydro is a lot weaker than say Oxy's or H, so I was fortunate it didn't happen to me. Like you, I took my dose about 18 hours later and waited for the PW to hit me and it didn't.

Welcome back to the Sub world and I wish you the very best recovery.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 2:26 pm 
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Thank you rule for your kind words. I hope someone comes across my post and sees that its not worth it. You know we tend to romanticize the feeling of opiates but when you go back its never the case. I think I learned my lesson. Too bad it had to be that way though.


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 Post subject: Romanticizing
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 4:39 pm 
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Oh Yeah I can't even begin to remember the countless times I told myself it would be different. I would just take a few a day or I would do just one bag a day etc...it never works. I have thirty years of history of trying to write the perfect story of how to do dope successfully. Tried and tried and tried. Failed and failed and failed. There can always be a next time but there will never be the successful next time.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 4:46 pm 
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Hi Still Prodigy

First off good job getting back on the Suboxone and lets slowly taper and kick this in the butt, we can do this. I say we cause Im about 1 week (9 days) into my Suboxone program too. I completed a Suboxone program about 7-8 years ago, and it went very smooth (End was alittle bumpy), it was like a Miracle. Broke my leg and went on 5mg Perks, slowly it went down hill and for alittle over a month I was addicted again but caught it quick and went baqck on Suboxone because I know It works good.


...."You know we tend to romanticize the feeling of opiates but when you go back its never the case"....


You hit the nail on the head. When I used Suboxone the first time back 7-8 years ago in the beginning I had some cravings but I used to slow myself down and look at the situation as a whole. Not just getting a craving and acting on it like some primal instinct. I would step by step break it down and "Weight" each decision out.

I can...

A) Use opiates and get high now. Have a false sense of security that I feel good (body/mind) and little by little go down that road which will leave me with nothing and/or my mind/body both damaged. Basically a slave to the drug.


B) Calm down and not use opiates. Know where I will end up if I do take them. I'd rather slowly deal with it and not take them and in the long run get my Life back.



For me it was simple after I looked at it from every angle before I chose. Like I said it was like a Primal Instinct when I got that rush in my head to do opiates. Would even justify me using them or talk myself into it. If I slowed myself down and really asked myself if I really wanted to choose Path "A" and deal with all that comes with it, it was a easy decision to stay off of them and GET MY LIFE BACK !


Again GOOD JOB addressing your relapse and turning it around. Sounds like you have a great family (Support system) like I do. We are very lucky and should do our upmost to stay off this sh!t. Dont live in the past or think ahead into the future too much. LIttle by little , day by day put as much of Time/Energy/Money as you did to chase the high around, and put it towards Yourself and the Suboxone program and it will pay off in the long run.



Thanks,
Damian


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 Post subject: To damian
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:11 pm 
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I am glad you are back on the subbies i read your post talking about your relapse a while ago. I am sitting here after getting off work writing this. I felt great all day and have my tip $ sittin on my bedside table! My goal is to buy back the things i lost and work on my honesty. I got so good at lying again. Its amazing how when we slip we go back full blast if not worse than before. I thank you for your support and like your sit back and weigh the options idea. That will be crucial in the future.


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 Post subject: Day 3
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 7:49 pm 
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So its day 3 now and I feel great. I slept last night with no problem and woke up feeling great. Maybe a little cold but thats to be expected. I feel like im back...not cocky but cautiously optomistic. I got a friend of mine to get on subs and he induced yesterday with great success. Its great hiw these subs give people like us another shot at life. Just checkin in.

Prodigy


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