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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 2:23 am 
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They aren't punishing you they are looking out for the best interest of the baby and aside from maybe some uncalled for attitude that you claim they had I commend them for it. A newborn baby doesnt deserve to have to withdrawal at all but since thats not an option they are trying to make it as painless as possible so they are keeping the baby to be sure. And not to stick up for nurses like that but I bet you the first few situations like this they probably had bedside manner but after seeing probably thousands of babies crying and writhing in pain from something they had no control over they probably don't give a shit about being all marshmallows and rainbows about it.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 5:42 am 
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While I believe that the nurses and doctors may actually be looking out for your baby, it's only due to their ignorance about the situation,( addiction NAS), and the stereo type that goes along with those things that they've kept her so long and based on what you're told us here,a call to social services seemed totally unwarranted
indeed they may have seen their fair share of unfit addicted parents, but that doesn't give them the rightto treat you poorly or keep you baby l longer than necessary or call social services because they disapprove of your choice to take your medication while pregnant, or disallowing you to breastfeed your baby. whether they approve of anything about you or not they are supposed to treat you with dignity and respect, and not make their medical decisions based on their biases, not commendable behavior, no matter what they've seen before! And if these nurses and doctors are so seasoned in treating babies with NAS that they've lost their bedside manner, then perhaps they should pursue a new career. all patients should be treated with respect and dignity,and what you've said here sounds exactly opposite of respectful or dignified. they may have been doing what they thought was best for your baby, but it sounds like their bias against the parents caused then to see every little whimper or movement by the baby as withdrawal, when that may not have been the case. hopefully the lawyer you've contacted will help get you some answers and satisfaction. In any event I hope you get to bring your baby home soon, and that after seeing your baby isn't in any danger, that social services will also leave you alone and give you and your gf and big sister a chance to bond with your new baby.

Please continue to keep your heads up and not feel like you've done anything wrong here, and do keep us updated please.


Last edited by lizzieshug2013 on Fri Mar 28, 2014 7:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 7:23 am 
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I completely agree with u the nurses did not treat us with any respect at all. I understand they think they we're doing what was best for the baby but they went about it the wrong way and I think they jumped to conclusions and just assumed that since my fiancé was taking subutek that the baby was gonna be withdrawing. If she was fine I want them to do whatever they had to to make her better but when we would stay with her we never seen her do anything that wasn't normal nobody did except the nurses. But anyway she is coming home today so I'm so relieved that part is over now just get this stuff with social services over and get everything back to normal. I'm just scared that social service is gonna be hard on us and instead of trying to see we're fit parent that they're gonna try to find reasons to keep her from us


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:57 pm 
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Glad your baby is coming home. I stayed in the hospital for 21 days with our last son. They sent him to a children's hospital 2 hours away. Lucky that my hubby was off due to winter. We had a hard time finding family/friends to watch our other children so he could visit the baby and I. I stayed the entire time. We had an older son with NAS and knew every little cry would result in a higher score. Don't want to go into the nightmare of the stay but in the entire NICU I hardly ever saw another parent. Especially in the wing my son was on I saw a mom come once for an hour and a few weeks later when they brought him home. During doctor rounding they even had a hard time getting a hold of someone at home to give report to. One baby was ready to be discharged for 3 days before a parent came to get him. So there is no reason social services should have been called even if you had went home for 4 days. Both of you keep your head held high and support each other.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 2:14 pm 
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Nurses and medical staff should be educated about suboxone and the fact that fewer babies on suboxone go through NAS than if mom were on her drug of choice or methadone. Nurses should be able to recognize that being on suboxone is a positive for these moms, and should not be equated with active use! There have been multiple occasions we have heard instances where normal newborn behaviors have been construed to be withdrawal symptoms by judgmental nurses. It happens. There is a bias against addicts. That is the reality. Anyone who doesn't know that there is a bias against addicts may be living in a world of marshmallows and rainbows.

If your baby was put on an opiate medication without actual withdrawal symptoms because of bias against mom being on suboxone, it is horrendous.

I'm so glad the baby is coming home now! I just saw this study on Upworthy, so I thought I'd share. It's about how you communicate with your baby affects their cognitive development. This is something I did with my son without the benefit of research backing me up. It's nice to see that it did some good!

http://www.upworthy.com/why-talking-to- ... arn?c=ufb1

Amy

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 10:12 pm 
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just catching up on this thread, and so very happy you finally get to take your baby home after the nightmare you went thru! I know someone who had social services called on them for yelling at their child, not abuse, just a yelling, and the call was only made out of spite, but anyway, my point is that once social svcs made the home visit and saw that the child was in no danger and lived in a safe, clean, home, they left the parents alone. They receive many calls and have to check each one out. my boyfriend's daughter in law is a social worker in charge of abuse/neglect/unfit parent investigations, and tells me that most calls she responds to and investigates result in nothing more than extra paperwork and many calls aren't legitimate abuse/neglect situations, but are people who call because they are mad at someone or disapprove of their lifestyle etc. who are looking to make trouble for others. I hope everything will be fine, and you'll soon be done with all the b.s. that's kept you guys from your baby! let us know how it all goes please, and keep posting with any thing, from questions, updates, need of support etc. we're glad to have you both here with us and will be here for you :-)


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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 10:01 pm 
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Hey everyone this is both parents and we just want to thank everyone for all their kind words and encouragement during such a hard time! Our sweet baby has been home for 5 weeks now she was released on March 30th (born on March 5th) so we had a very long and very hard 3 weeks. Amazing how 3 weeks can feel like a lifetime living without your child. She is so healthy and so happy, she has recently started smiling and cooing and it's to die for :D I don't feel like I did the wrong thing anymore now that time has passed. I was a healthy while pregnant and that is thanks to my treatment program and buprenorphine. I have came to terms with the closed minded hospital staff and have put that in my past. We are dealing with social services but it has been a breeze and the case should be closed soon, they are only looking out for the babies and it is a good thing because some babies do need help, it just hurt to be involved with that because I take so much pride in being a mother and when I was being questioned of my motherhood it was heartbreaking. We just wanted to keep everyone updated and say thanks so much. I would love to talk to any mothers-to-be or anyone in general who needs a shoulder to lean on going through what we went through.
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Sorry the image is so large I couldn't figure out how to make it smaller. But this is our sweet bundle of joy, happy and healthy @ 8 weeks old!


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PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 1:48 am 
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what a beautiful baby! I'm glad everything turned out well for you all!


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PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 5:35 pm 
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She is certainly "what cute looks like"!! What a happy baby!

Thank you so much for updating us! I'm so glad that you've been able to put the pain you experienced from the rude hospital staff behind you. I wonder if you'll ever bring her back to the NICU to show those people who were mean how healthy and happy she is. Well, since you've left behind those feelings maybe it's just better to let it go. ;)

Enjoy that sweet baby!

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PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 6:26 pm 
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Thank u so much. The thing is she wasn't in a NICU which was one of the many reasons we was so upset and angry at the hospital cuz 2 1/2 weeks after she was born the dr finally decided to tell us when they scored her either the day she was born or the next day that she scored a 16!! From the research I did I found out if they score above 10 they're suppose to send them to a NICU but they didn't which in my mind is BS. We had talked about it and really wanted to talk to a lawyer and tell him everything that happened and see if legally we could do anything but for one lawyers cost too much and once we got her home we just wanted to put all that behind us and move on it really sux how they treated us and her and we're still having to deal with social services but the main thing is she is home she happy and healthy. As far as ever taking her back there lol not a chance n hell will she ever go back there I would drive across 2-3 states to the dr b4 I would go back there. That was the worse experience of my whole life I wouldn't wish my worse enemy to have to go threw what we did


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 Post subject: To: Buprecision
PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2014 12:27 am 
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To Buprecision: I am the dad of the baby this discussion is about. I appreciate everyone's input and everyone taking time out of their day to give us support during the tough time we had. With that being said apparently u was not one of those ppl. I completely understand when a baby is withdrawaling that it needs to be in a hospital so it can get the help it needs and so they can make it as comfortable on it as possible. First off yes my fiancé did subutex while pregnant which her dr at the subutex clinic told her to do which does make sense cuz it's better for the baby than staying on opiates and a better a alternative than methadone. If she hadn't taken subutex then the baby would have been goin threw withdraws inside of her belly where nobody coulda done anything for her. If u don't know addiction is a disease u don't have to agree with that I really don't care if u do or don't but the government and the majority of medical professionals agree that it is. I have dealt with a variety of diseases in my life such as addiction, cancer, hepatitis, Alzheimer's, heart disease, and so on. I don't know u and don't know what kind of person u are but myself I wouldn't go online to a forum for ppl with HIV and see someone that had just gave birth to a child and it was born with HIV if all I was gonna do was tell them how wrong they r for what they did. This is a place for people that have went threw the same things to talk for support if u don't agree with what we do then don't get on here and read any of. Moving on that's enough about the disease now I wanna get to the hospital staff. Now as far as I know u wasn't there to know the situation or to witness the staffs disrespect toward us. I don't care if the staff at that hospital seen babies withdrawing everyday 3 times a day for 20 years. They r suppose to be "professionals" so regardless if they don't agree with it or they r tired of seeing it or whatever the case maybe their job is simply to take care of my fiancé and my baby and explain to us what's going on and what they r doing to help. Once again if u had read everything u would know no matter how much they're against it that does not give them the right to not tell us what's going on with OUR child, that don't give them the right to talk to us anyway they want, that does not give them the right to lie to us, that does not give them the right to give us misleading information about OUR child, that does not give them the right to call social services and lie on us, or any of the other unethical things they did. We're a couple that was doing the best we could and doing everything we could for our baby and that includes taking the subutex. If we hadn't been taking subutex it woulda been sum type of opiate and the withdraws woulda been a lot worse. The thing about it is like I had already said on here she didn't show any signs of withdraws nobody seen her doing anything that remotely resembled withdraws. We stayed with her almost everyday. She was a normal baby but the times we went to eat and the one or two days we went home to rest then according to them she was throwing fits wouldn't stop crying and a bunch of other BS they fed us. So ur so called "professionals" these dr's and nurses that deal with this all the time had no clue what they was doing and just assumed she was withdrawing cuz they knew my fiancé took subutex. I could understand if the mother was taking a high dose everyday but she was only taking 1/2-1 a day sum times more sum times less she would skip days and go 2-3 sum times 4 days without taking anything so I don't see how it would be possible for her to be withdrawing or if she was it isn't possible for it to have been as bad as they was making it out. According to them sneezing, sucking on her hand, yawning, ect are withdraw symptoms. They just knew what she took already had it in their head b4 she was born that she was gonna be withdrawing so then everything she did even though every baby does the same things she did it was withdraw symptoms for her cuz her mother took subutex. So if our baby was having withdraw symptoms then every baby needs to be treated the way ours was cuz I've had a kid with a girl that never done drugs n her life and this baby her mom did subutex and the babies acted the same. We of course want what's best for our lil girl if she had sumthin wrong and it required her to be in the hospital a year I wouldn't have a problem with that but there wasn't anything wrong with her every 2-3 days they would tell us she was goin home in a couple days which ended up being 3 weeks everyone told us a different story of what was goin on and how she was doin they we're very rude to us and the first time we made the dr sit and tell us what was goin on and made him answer all the questions we had about what they was doing to her he got mad and eventually stormed outta the room. Last but not least this whole time they was keeping her doped up on morphine to where she couldn't hardly stay awake even though they waited 3-4 days to start her on it which if she was withdrawing so bad they wouldn't have waited and one nurse will tell us she was on her last dose but they kept giving it to her. U can take up for these incompentant so called "professionals" go ahead but u wasn't there they don't know what was goin on and no matter what u or anyone else says I will defend my fiancé and the choice she made to take subutex cuz she did what was best for our baby and no matter what all u closed minded ignorant ppl say she is the greatest mother my kids could ever ask for. Subutex has gave us our life back and it is better than it has ever been or I coulda ever imagined it being. So please in the future if I post sumthin ur more than welcomed to read it but I would appreciate if u keep ur negative comments to urself.


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PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2014 3:23 am 
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Hey Rob,

I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to pull Buprecision aside and tell him that if he doesn't have anything nice to write he should keep it to himself. I've also wanted to tell him that you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. But it seems that vinegar is all he has.

I directly defended your position after Buprecision's post and others came to your defense as well. So don't get stuck on what one guy said. He's not representative of the group. He seems to have a 70/30 mix of helpful versus antagonistic posts. Usually his judgmental, angry, and down-rite mean posts are aimed at fairly new people for some reason.

I'll tell you, Buprecision, we read every single one of your posts. The mods don't like to ban people if we don't have to, but if we think the mean-spirited posts are starting to outweigh the ones where you give actual information, it will happen. Please think before you post such things!

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PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 9:39 am 
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I know that most doctors want the mother to be under 4mg to prevent withdrawal. The child will still have slight sleep issues and be a bit more apt to cry. Iwould make sure all of your affairs are in order just incase the hospital is stalling because social services is doing an investigation into your legality of being prescribed the medicine and a search warrant is also a possibility if they think you are using illegal drugs. I dont want to scare you but I know someone that had this happen although it wasnt subutex, it was heroin.


Last edited by Amy-Work In Progress on Wed May 07, 2014 9:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 3:02 pm 
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Rob -
I'm so glad that you guys have our baby girl home with you! My husband and I just went through the exact same thing with my son. He was kept in the NICU for 28 effin' days!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was honest with my OB from my very first visit about the suboxone and how much I was taking at the time of me conceiving (24 mg daily). My OB warned me that I would probably want to be off of it by delivery because the hospital would probably not be as understanding as he was, and that they could possibly give me trouble and get cps involved. Well I was able to cut down a lot but not completely stop before giving birth so I was on the subs during delivery and got questioned by every single nurse that seen my charts. The only difference with our stories is that I never got a judgmental or critical attitude from ANYONE at the hospitals. They were actually very pleasant and understanding, and commended on doing what I had to do to get myself better. The only kind of stuff I had to answer to was the hospitals social worker, and she just asked me a series of questions and never heard from her again.
However, even with all of the nice and understanding nurses they still kept my son for waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay longer than I felt was necessary. When he was born he suffered respiratory distress, which turned into pneumothorax just like my first son. Every single doctor that spoke to me in the hours after he was delivered told me that they were pretty certain that withdrawl had nothing to do with his condition and they didn't think he had any problems with that at all. They transferred him to a lvl 3 NICU at a hospital further away from my home and it wasn't until he was there for 5 days and all of his respiratory stuff was better that the doctor over there tells me "everything seems to be good with baby Carter now except for one new issue... he is showing signs of withdrawal". So this immediately pissed me and my husband off because I was up there every other evening and he seemed normal as can be... and I just got the feeling that because she knew that I was on the subs that she just assumed and wanted to treat him for it with morphine. Well like you and your wife, 2 days turned into 5, into a week more, into 2 weeks, Easter came and went, and before you knew it he was in the 27 days! It was the roughest time of my life, I just felt like if I had my baby home and could love on him and cuddle him that he would feel so much better, and all of these "signs" they are speaking of would go away. He needed me and I needed him. Finally I got the call that I had been waiting for, and I'll never forget the first night I had him home. He slept right on my chest and I didn't sleep a wink, just stared at his little face and lost myself in the sound of his little snores. I know exactly what you guys must have been going through day after day, being told one thing, and then another... feeling like you are a horrible person because you did this... feeling like it's your fault your baby can't come home. Now that it's all said and done, I too and glad that they kept a watchful eye on him and made sure he was perfect in every way, because I can live without having him for 28 days rather than not having him at all.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 3:22 pm 
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your baby boy is absolutely beautiful and I'm so glad that you've finally got him home with you :-) you are to be commended for treating your addiction responsibly with medication and for being honest with your doctors about it also. that takes courage because all it takes is one judgemental Dr or nurse to make an already tense situation much more stressful. thank you also for sharing your story with other moms here. I'm sure it gives them hope and reassurance that they're doing the right thing. it's refreshing to hear happy endings to these stories, and that your doctors and nurses were so compassionate and understanding, as we all know too well that's not always the case. judgements are the last thing new parents need at a time that should be so joyous. Enjoy that baby! I have four wonderful children and cannot have anymore, but pictures like those always give me a touch of the " baby fever" :-P lol


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