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 Post subject: An Autononymous Report
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 5:32 pm 
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Hi everybody, I'm just posting to let anyone who might be wondering how I'm doing...well, as far as dosage--much better! But still not perfect.....partly just my new financial situation (unemployed) maybe is helping me realize that taking more sub than I need is NOT in best interest. I refilled yesterday.....Yesterday I took 2 mgs...and then...later I took another 4 mgs. Today I took the larger of a broken in half tab and plan to leave it at that. I think I can. And...time is passing..it's been over 2 weeks since I used street drugs...that is a really good thing.....since that is the whole point..... This my last refill, so I had better talk to my doc...going to call now to make an appointment. I hope I will be strong enough to be honest with my doctor now. I also am concerned that I may be having a slight manic reaction to the prozac that I recently started taking....A couple of my close friends think I may be showing signs of manic episode.

I went out to a local park and went swimming yesterday and the day before. Today...trying to get back on track--cannot turn in the COBRA papers at my old job today because neither of the personel people are there today but the papers ARE fillled out, I just need to go over them with the perosnel perosn and make sure all is in order and write the necessary checks.

The toxic waste situation at my house is still not entirely resolved, but...well, I guess we're gonna throw more money at the problem and hope for the best...adn get the air tested even though we are afraid of the results...better to know....I have a lot of work to do to get ready for my new housemate. Current housemate is building shelves for me now...

Ok, I just wanted to post, and not dissappear...calling doc now.

I hope you all are doing well, adn thanks everyone for all the support....

I'll check back soon....


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:46 pm 
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Thanks for the update! You are doing so WELL! Congrats! You rock!

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Laura

Of course there's such a thing as angels. Only sometimes they don't have wings... and we call them mothers. -Unknown


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 7:24 pm 
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I was able to get an appointment for this week. with the psychiatrist who prescribes my suboxone and other meds. That is good because...after talking to several of the people who know me best, I think that I need to be aware that I may be in the middle of a manic episode of sorts. I believe that I have a condition called cyclothymia which is similar to bipolar disorder. I've taken prozac in the past and I dont' think it threw me into any manic episodes...but I am not certain of that. I also remember that in the past on some occasions when I stopped taking heroin.....after the initial few days, after a week or two....that I did get into a manic state on more than one occasion. So.....Although I wasnt' taking heroin every day or even every week this time...still, maybe I am going through some brain chemistry issues as a result of stopping the street drugs....well, it is impossible to know, because I also started taking the prozac just a week or 2 ago, and...as anyone who's been reading my posts knows, my sub dose has been really inconsistent too...PLUS I"m in the middle of some major life changes (employment status changed, household changes) including some serious work on the house that I live in that turned into a big confusing uncertain situation--BIG STRESS for me with that...but people are telling me my reactions have been a bit more than what would be expected, not within a good range of however "normally" freaked out a person in my situation should be...pressured speech, talking a mile a minute...not sleeping enough, exhausted but not able to sleep...and I am in an overall state of agitation I think....

And the mood swings, I think are getting even more extreme than usual, like really crying one minute and laughing the next....then crying again.....but.....it all seems to me to be because of valid REASONS...I just feel like I am being more open about how I feel than usual, just telling it like it is......still...I realize that it is not always possible to have a good perspective from within oneself and I think I have to listen to what several of my close friends have been saying to me. I'm stopping the prozac as of now.

I still feel pressured to make a big decision about handling the situation with the work at my house, but I guess I better mainly try to remain calm right now and NOT make any decisions that seem pressured.

Anyway, I'll see the doc this week, and hopefully I'll be able to bring myself to be honest about everything so that my doctor has correct facts to work with. As for suboxone, gonna do my best to stick to a half tab a day! And only dose ONCE a day! But....I'll discuss dosage issues with my doc this week...

And..I just found out the personel person IS at my old job today, maybe I can still make it in wit those COBRA papers.

I do feel a big pressure like panic that I need to be taking REAL IMMEDIATE ACTION on several different issues at once, but in some cases not sure what action is best...THE small things--getting a doc appointment made, or a bill paid...each one is a victory...


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 7:43 pm 
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Yes, each one is a victory. I too need to see a dr to get on some type of anti depressant I have been so stressed and dealing with so much lately. But, having no health insurance the process will take me awhile. I think your head is in the right place and you are doing well. Great job!

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Laura

Of course there's such a thing as angels. Only sometimes they don't have wings... and we call them mothers. -Unknown


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 11:36 am 
Hi auto, it sounds like you are on the right track. I know what you mean about it being hard to pinpoint the cause of your mental state because there are so many variables. You probably already know this but it's worth re-stating: with the prozac, if your mania leads to thoughts of harming yourself or others, get emergency help immediately! It doesn't sound like that's the way you're headed, but when people do the things the "black box" warns about, it's usually in a manic state
It sounds like you are moving forward and taking positive steps with your life (especially the swimming!). Keep up the good work.
Lilly


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 Post subject: Health insurance
PostPosted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 11:49 am 
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RTL, I am sorry to hear that you don't have any health insurance. I know how important it is to have health care in place in your life--that is why I have been worrying so much about getting my COBRA set up and paid for....I hope you will be able to get on some kind of health plan soon....as a matter of fact, the only reason I am able to afford the COBRA is because of a very recent health care bill passed by Obama--just a couple of months ago when I had discussed my situation with my personel department at my job I was told COBRA would cost $400 a month--I could not afford that! And besides that , my health care has a huge deductible.....but on my last day of work, the personell person told me the news of the change--I think the company has to pay more of my COBRA, which is good news for me but not for the company......in any case it's now less than half the payments for me, so I can afford it...otherwise, I would be in the same boat as a lot for other people, winging it in terms of health care and paying full rate for everything...which is unaffordable....Everything is discounted just because you HAVE insurance, which makes no sense to me and seems unfair...but...my god, insurance companies...seem worse than organized crime sometimes, when it comes to ethical business practices....

Anyway, I know I am lucky to have this insurance, even with the giant deductible....

Every day seems like such a challenge to me, even though I seem to be doing better....I just realized that my doc apptnmnt thursday is probably going to make me mis the online meeting...I'm going to post about that.

RTL, and Lillly, and FAD adn everybody else too, thanks again for sharing about your struggles....for whatever reason I am doing better with my dosing issues now--I think it is actually about realizing that I am running out, I am on my last script here, and taking extra has been making things worse not better....but it really does help me to know that others have struggled in similar ways and GOTTEN BETTER. Suboxone DOES work but it should be taken properly, not "as needed." And for me too, I am no longer facing a daily trigger of knowing that I could probably get my DOC if I wanted to....if it really made the difference between relapsing and not, to take some extra sub, it would make sense...but now, that is not really the case...besides, I've learned for sure now that taking DOC while on sub doesnt' really work ..I've learned some stuff here AND I'm now able to ACT on according to what I've learned--and this is a huge relief to me.

Ok, I'm going to put up a post on the section about meetings, because I dont' see a reminder yet for tomorrow's..and I want to tell everyone that I might not make it.

Also, RTL, FAD, RR, Lilly, and the rest of you guys(I hope you know who you are, EVERYONE I've met here), if anyone ever wants to PM me for any reason, I want you to know I am fine with that, I've already received a few PMs from people--sometimes communicating directly to someone through the public posts, as I have been doing, and as seems to be a general style on this forum...while I like that, sometimes it seems like it might be a little bit uncertain that the person you are directing it to will see the post, and then sometimes, it can be kind of personal too, like I think some of my direct responses to Re-raise have been (which RR--I hope you are ok with).

But....for whatever reasons, this sharing of experience really DOES seem to be good support for a lot of us! As I've mentioned, this is really the first kind of support for my addiction struggles that I have found comfortable OR helpful.....and maybe it is not a direct correlation, but I truly AM doing better with my dosage issues AND.....I have not relapsed since I left my job, I am into the third week now....A couple of weeks in remission is really short, I know...but....I know that probably every addict who might be reading this post knows how LONG even one week can seem....


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
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