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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 3:28 pm 
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Was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on non-addicts participating in groups aimed at addicts. I attended a "recovery" group recently and I met a couple of people who attended that were not addicts nor had they ever been one( I know once an addict always technically an addict- just clarifying). One of them was there because her parent was one of the group leaders who has been sober for 30 yrs- not quite sure on the other person. I'm kinda on the fence with this one, being new to the recovery process, I find it difficult to open up as it is. I know that's my issue to overcome.. Just curious as to what input anyone might have in regards to this. Thank you and God speed to all:-)

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:02 pm 
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I think its a great idea depending on the reason of there attendance. I mean my mom has gone to groups so she can better understand my life and how to help, me my gf has also gone to meetings with me. I know one kid who had a very bad relationship with his dad and once his dad started attending groups they now have a wonderfull father son relationship. Myuncle was an alcoholic for 30+ years now sober but my aunt and cousins went to meetings which i know for a fact saved my aunt and uncles marriage! Back to the father son i mentioned, It helped so much his dad now runs a group for parents with kids who are addicts! So it can be a great thing/tool to better understand what this person close to u is struggling with.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 8:48 pm 
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Thank you for your insight! Seems you have first hand knowledge on this. I guess it is nice to see people who haven't struggled with addiction make an effort to understand it better and give up their time to do so. As I mentioned, the group thing is new to me so I'm a little intimidated by it all and still learning how to cope with the shame I feel. I need to remember that non addicts who give up their time to go are very unlikely to judge. Again, thank you for your response!

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 11:32 pm 
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I think it's fine, as long as the meeting doesn't stipulate it's a closed-meeting for addicts only.

A lot of newcomers need to have someone with them there to support them, because it can be real daunting getting through that door first off, as you probably know.

What I totally disagree with though is non-addicts who pretend to be addicts. You hear them share about their addiction and they say things like "Well I got drunk once when I was 31 and got scared because I nearly slept with someone I shouldn't have." Then they ID as 20 years clean in their 50's. Often they go because they're lonely, bored, predatorial or just plain neurotic. There are a few of these types floating around.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 11:52 pm 
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I agree with the posts above,
that it CAN be super helpfull in some ways,

but it seems around, HERE, that people go, to be nosey, and seriously I know of one story where a couple was going thru a divorce, and the wife 'sent in' someone to listen, to try and 'gather dirt' on the husband....
terible, just terible. and its soposed to be anonymous.

ANYWAY, Ive also seen where it totally helps someone understand the real monster of addiction, and that it certainly doesnt discriminate

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 12:20 am 
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most aa meeting i have been to are closed to only those who are seeking to become or stay sober.if the meetings are not closed i dont see any problem with nonaddicts attending but if they are closed everyone should be real about who they are and not intrude on meetinga held ONLY for addicts.good luck to all with your fight for sobriety.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 3:03 am 
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amber4.14.11 wrote:
and its soposed to be anonymous.


It's not as anonymous as it's supposed to be. 'What you see here and hear here stays here'. 5 minutes later so often a car full of members drive home bitching about X person's share.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:44 am 
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I know NA offers meetings that are Open or Closed. Open means anyone can go, but only addicts share. Closed means only addicts are supposed to go and obviously, only addicts share.

I've brought my wife with me to a few Open meetings and it's helped her tremendously in understanding my addiction and the battles I face. Her eyes were big as golf balls after she left her first meeting with me. She was astounded to see a room full of "Romeo's", all the way home, she kept commenting about how similar my behaviors were to those who shared that night.

As far as being ashamed of my addiction, I got over that a while ago. I'm an addict, it's just how God built me. The people who do look down their nose at me are usually more fucked up than I'll ever be and I don't let them bother me anymore.

Try to remember, being an addict means that our brains are sick, we are NOT bad people.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:29 pm 
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As far as being ashamed of my addiction, I got over that a while ago. I'm an addict, it's just how God built me. The people who do look down their nose at me are usually more fucked up than I'll ever be and I don't let them bother me anymore.





Well said my friend, well said

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That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 10:29 am 
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Great insight. I am working on letting go of the shame. I was a closet addict. Snorting pills then going to lunch with my "soccer mom" friends. My counselor reaffirmed that it was the addiction doing the things I did, not me. I admire all of you. We all share so many parrallels. I have found such inspiration here! I am just beginning to understand the disease of addiction (of course it's complicated far beyond what I am able to truly wrap my noggin round!). The counselor explained that our minds react differently when taking opiates... I'm sure many of you could expound on this and help me to understand it even more. Thanks to you all!

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