It is currently Thu Aug 17, 2017 9:55 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 12 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2015 10:35 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:51 pm
Posts: 28
Hello!
This is my first time posting here, I've read through so many forums and this one has been really helpful.
I've been on suboxone for 3yrs, 16mg a day. I take the tablets, usually one in the morning and one around 6pm.
I've struggled my whole life with severe anxiety and insomnia. I've used drugs to cope with it for such a long time, I'm really terrified to be completely sober. I've done really well on the subs as far as not doing opiates or heroin, but I feel horrible most of the time. I don't crave opiates, I know that they won't make me feel better. I had to go off of klonopin when I went on subs and my anxiety has been so bad I barely leave my house. I'm prescribed ambien for insomnia and at first it worked great, but now I hardly sleep. I get 3hrs a night if I'm lucky.
I'm 26yrs old, and I've spent too much of my life crippled with anxiety. The suboxone isn't the cause of my anxiety, but I'm unable to treat my anxiety while I'm on it. I have a stomach ulcer and the subs kill my stomach, I get instant heart burn and there are days that I'm in tears because I feel too sick to take my sub and I'm beyond frustrated with it.
I'm ready to be off this stuff, but I'm so afraid that I will have a mental breakdown, as I have before trying to detox. I also lost a lot of weight the last time I detoxed and I've just now gotten to a healthy weight. I know what to expect as far as how I'll feel physically and I know that I won't sleep and I'm sure I'll have some serious panic attacks. But I'm afraid of the months after the sub is out of my system. I wasn't exactly happy before I started using drugs, I don't know if I'm able to feel happy or normal without some type of help. The only time in my life that I was able to function and feel truly happy and optimistic was when I was prescribed klonopin, adderall and ambien (along with ulcer medication).
I've seen so many therapists and doctors, I've been diagnosed with ADD, OCD, insomnia, bipolar and of course the severe anxiety that causes most of those disorders. When I started the sub I stopped treating all my other issues.
I want to be clean, but I feel like I can't consider myself clean unless I'm not dependent on any drugs. But I don't know if I can function without them. I shouldn't feel bad for needing medication, because my anxiety and insomnia are really severe. But after being an addict for so long I feel like a hypocrite getting clean and then being dependent on a benzo. I don't consider myself to be clean while on the subs and I kind of resent it when people call themselves clean while taking suboxone. Although this is the closest I've felt to being sober in years. I want to taper down, I'm prescribed clonidine for blood pressure and I know this helps while withdrawing. When I detoxed before I was only coming off of 4mg of sub a day, now I'm on 16mgs so I'm not really sure how quickly I can taper. I feel like I could easily start taking 8mgs a day, and I can taper slowly from there.

What do you guys think, how should I go about tapering? Has anyone else felt like the sub increases anxiety? I know I can do this if I'm able to take benzos during the withdrawals, but then am I just trading one substance for another?

Sorry for the rambling. Any input helps


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, 2015 11:27 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Mon Sep 09, 2013 4:49 pm
Posts: 517
Hi & Welcome to the forum. There are some wonderful people here! I have an idea of how you feel, i was out of bed at 4 am because i woke up in a panic attack!

The last year or so when i was using i was having constant panic attacks & severe anxiety. I don't know how i got through those days looking back.

I have actually found tremendous relief from my anxiety since getting on suboxone. This month has been hard and i have had two major panic/anxiety attacks, Jan 1 & today. I am allowed to take xanax for some reason. I had been on a low dose of xanax for a couple of years and i guess no one felt i needed to taper off.

Are you sure there isnt something you can take that will help the anxiety? My therapist does "EMDR" with me. It's eye movement sort of like hypnosis but it's not hypnosis. Hard to explain, maybe you can google it.

I am so sorry this is what your choices are. Have you talked to your sub doctor & let him know the severity of your panic?

There isn't much i can say about what you should do but maybe if you go to 8 mg the lower dose will reduce some anxiety.

I am here to talk to and I will support you in whatever choice you make!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, 2015 6:50 pm 
Offline
3 Months or More
3 Months or More

Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2015 5:21 pm
Posts: 95
Hi Day!

I've actually been prescribed both antidepressants for anxiety on Suboxone, Xanax, and I have a friend also on suboxone who's on Kolonopin. Not sure why your options are as they are. I'd consider trying to find a different doc? Alternatively, we could have some weird docs who don't understand Suboxone on our side and TBH I can't know the difference from my perspective

evolved.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2015 1:34 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:51 pm
Posts: 28
Thanks for replying!

A lot of people I know are able to be on benzo's while being on subs, but my doctor is a do it by the book kind of guy. I've even had my therapist at the same office offer to ask my doctor if he would allow me to go back on a low dose of klonopin. My therapist is great and truly understands what I've been going through. My doctor still refused, but he's all for me getting off the subs and going back medication for anxiety. He won't even allow me to take Valium for a dentist appointment, and I will not make it 5 min in the dentist office without it. I like my doctor and I understand where he's coming from, but I'm a star sub patient I've never had an issue with anything aside from being late.

As far as taking other meds for anxiety, I've tried so many and none have worked. I wasn't in the state of mind that "this won't work, only benzo's will" I was so desperate for some relief that I would try different meds for months hoping it would build up in my system, but nothing did. I've tried gabapentin (neurontin), buspar, Prozac, celexa and most recently I was on luvox which was supposed to treat my OCD & anxiety. I'm willing to try other meds, but I've had bad experiences with different antidepressants and it's so frustrating to know that taking a small amount of any benzo will help me & not kill me. I've tried different ways of trying to manage my anxiety without medication, but its just not possible for me right now. I'm unable to cope with normal amounts of anxiety and this past year I've had would have stressed anyone out.

I tried taking 8mgs the other day & I didn't really feel any worse than normal. I didn't sleep, but I hadn't been sleeping at the time anyways.

The area that I live in has a huge percentage of opiate users and therefore it takes months to get in to see a doc. I'm waiting to get an appointment with a doctor in my area, right now I drive over 2hrs to see mine. The doctor I'm waiting to see has agreed to see me only to help me detox. That is what id like to do, and I'm hoping she will be able to help me through the worst of the withdrawals.

I'd like to be able to go to some NA meetings, but I can't stand being around people, let alone talking to them in a group setting. This is a great alternative!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2015 3:09 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:51 pm
Posts: 28
Oh also tiki, I haven't heard of EDMR before. I read about it for hours and it sounds like it could be helpful. Definitely worth a try. I've tried a few different types of similar psychotherapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy, and I think if I worked at it harder CBT would be useful. It's so hard for me to focus long enough on a thought to even begin trying to correct it.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2015 9:33 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Mon Sep 09, 2013 4:49 pm
Posts: 517
Day

I am glad I was able to offer something you haven't tried! It has helped me and I just spoke to my therapist about another EMDR session. I really think it relieved me of the majority of anxiety for several months.

Boy, do i understand not being able to focus! It's just so hard to explain to people that haven't experienced it at the level we are talking about.

If you are anything like me don't read detox threads. We are all different and I bet there are many that taper with medical help that don't have bad experiences. My theory is we don't see posts because they get off and get on with their life's.

My therapist is an addiction specialist and he has spoken to me about a few patients tapering under both the doctor & him. I know he reads alot but he also listens to his patients about the experience.

Hang in there and post here for support, it really helps.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 3:59 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:51 pm
Posts: 28
Thanks Tiki!
It definitely helps to post about stuff, this is the first and only forum I've ever posted on and so far its been really helpful. Some times it just helps to know that I'm not the only person suffering from anxiety and dealing with addiction. My life right now is just not fun; my days are spent avoiding anything that will cause me more stress and my nights are spent tossing and turning trying to get some form of rest. There are times that I think I was better off when I was using, I may not have been healthy, but there were times that I was happy. Now I just can't find a way to be anything but miserable. And I'm still not healthy.
I hope I can get to a better place. I want to be clean, but I want to be happy more than anything. Hopefully I can manage to be clean and be happy, but that seems almost impossible.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2015 9:18 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Mon Sep 09, 2013 4:49 pm
Posts: 517
I really feel for you! Are you under the care of a psychiatrist who could talk to your sub doc about your anxiety? I would be feeling as you are if i couldn't treat my anxiety with medication. I finally went to a psychiatrist for a med eval when i couldn't stand even going to work. That alone would cause so much anxiety i wanted to hide under the covers! I was still using at that time.

It seems so wrong that more doctors don't have openings. Driving 2 hours is no joke!! In my area (NY) they put the "ISTOP" into use and now any doctor or pharmacy you go to knows what doctor you seen and what scheduled meds you have gotten. That caused alot of pill users to seek suboxone treatment and now there are very few openings.

Can you google therapists that use EMDR? Maybe at least get some relief?

Hang in there...


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2015 1:26 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Thu Aug 08, 2013 5:40 pm
Posts: 416
http://www.alpha-stim.com/

This is a non-drug product for insomnia, depression and anxiety. A prescription from a doctor is needed but the form is downloadable from this site.

http://neurostar.com/
A much more costly but might be covered by some insurances for your condition. There are several offices using this in the northeast.

Both are for the patient that have tried 'everything.'
PAX


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2015 9:50 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Mon Sep 09, 2013 4:49 pm
Posts: 517
Pax

I followed the links and found the products interesting. The NeuroStar looks like it is done in office vs $800 to treat yourself.

Do you have any experience with this type of treatment? I am very interested & found a doctor listed not to far from me.

I use a TENS unit for pain and have for years. My chiropractor would use it when my back went out and when i bought one he showed me where to apply the pads.

There is alot of really good information on this thread!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2015 10:03 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Thu Aug 08, 2013 5:40 pm
Posts: 416
I have an Alpha Stim. About 14 months now. Within 12 weeks of starting it I had weaned off the Trazadone and Prozac I was taking for PTSD. The nightmares are very rare currently. No anxiety during the day.
I have two patients using the device and have mostly weaned off their meds but improved the quality of their sleep. One patient is using the more expensive model that acts similar to a TENS for pain.

The closest NeuroStar is 100 miles so I have not had anybody partake. I am only familiar with the literature and reviews. It doesn't have an indication yet for anxiety but most clinicians can probably massage a depression diagnosis to get it approved. My understanding is a course is about 20K and then maintenance sessions every 2-4 weeks.
PAX


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2015 2:39 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:51 pm
Posts: 28
There is so much good info here!

I have good insurance (for the next 2 months) so I will definitely have to see if it will cover anything like the alpha-stim or the neurostar therapy.

Pax,
It is really encouraging to hear that the alpha-stim has helped you so much. I have tried so many different drugs for insomnia. The main problem is that these drugs don't really improve my sleep, and they don't work after a while. From what I read about the alph-stim, it is supposed to increase in its effectiveness over time. Which is what I need. You said I need a prescription for the alpha-stim? I'm sure my doc wouldn't mind, but I am pretty broke so I'll have to see how much it costs. Great info, I'm going to spend the next few days reading about both of these treatments. Thanks!

Tiki,
I do have a therapist, in the same office as my sub doc. He went out of his way to ask my doctor if I could go back on a low dose of klonopin. My doctor still didn't budge. I started looking into therapists that use EMDR. I didn't find any in my town, but there are a few near my doctors office. Its 2hrs, but I don't mind driving. I always get really nervous about seeing a new therapist or doctor. I hate having to tell my story over and over. So I'm going to see if my current therapist has any clue about it first.

Thanks again for the suggestions/information! I'm hopeful that I can find something that works or at least helps.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 12 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google Adsense [Bot] and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group