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 Post subject: 1 Yr Anniversary
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:17 pm 
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If I was active in NA or AA would I get some sort of award or coin or something? I don't know, and honestly I don't really care. Getting my life on track is actually better than any trinket or award.

It was actually one year ago today that I stopped taking any drugs not prescribed to me. At the exact time I am writing this (Friday afternoon) a year ago I was just starting to go into withdrawals as I was checking into an in-patient rehab center. It was one year ago today to the hour. By about 9 PM I was feeling pretty bad and by midnight I was pretty much in full-blown withdrawals. I didn't sleep much at all that night. I paced the halls. I got in the shower about a dozen times. I saw the doctor in the morning and was told it was still too soon to be given Suboxone. I now know that was wrong - dead wrong. I was lead to believe I'd get it at 5 PM that night and figured I could make it another eight hours. When 5 PM came I was told the order was written for the next morning. I actually had to suffer through yet another night before being given Suboxone. By the time the sun came up for the second time it was about 48 hours after my last opiate intake. By then, I actually was starting to feel better. I am pretty sure that my withdrawals had already peaked. The Suboxone actually forced me to take a nap about two hours after I took it. I don't want to say it knocked me out but... pretty close.

I hope I never, ever have to go through any of that again. It has pretty much been all up hill since then. My life is very different now than it used to be - not just with the drugs but in all sorts of ways. I don't know how much my drug abuse factored into the life I was living but I was not living a very rewarding life. I was pretty darn successful. I was the CEO of a statewide organization. I flirted just at the six-figure salary level, and was well known throughout the state in the industry I was involved in. But I wasn't very happy. All I did was work - and take drugs. Unfortunately, I have lost a lot because of it. I was fired from my job, or more formally I was "let out of my contract," when they found out about my addiction. They called the police and told them about how I was getting the drugs. I had to resign from another organization that I was a director of because I was ordering narcotics for myself through their system. I have had to give up my pilot's license because I can't fly while on Suboxone. I may never fly a plane again. I have until June to decide/figure out how to keep my state medical license. I still have legal charges hanging over my head. My stepdaughter rarely speaks with me. Most people don't know what to say to me and just avoid the entire situation. Some have spoken out strongly against me. Others have become true friends. It has all been a huge change.

A good friend of mine always says that "everything happens for a reason." I certainly hope she is correct about that. Staying free of active addiction has actually been easier than I would have ever thought. Almost too easy. No doubt Suboxone has much to do with that. I have not taken one spec of narcotic other than Suboxone in the past 365 days. Not one microgram. I have passed about a half dozen drug tests with flying colors and could pass a hair sample test right now. I have gained about 20 pounds - which is good, as I had become way too thin. I no longer look like "I'm dying" as I have now been told I looked for a while. I have not been sick one single time in the past 365 days - not once. I used to be sick all of the time. I threw up all of the time. My blood work was all over the map. I was hospitalized three times in my entire 47-year life - twice in 2009 - both due to drug abuse. I rarely ever drank and still don't. I have never taken a single puff of a cigarette in my life. Never smoked pot, used benzos, coke, meth, ANYTHING. Someone I've known for about nine months now said to me the other day "I think I've only seen you drink a beer once." Another person whom I've known for over 25 years said "I think I've seen you more in the past six months than I have in the past six years." But then there was opiates - and they changed everything.

Hopefully this road will continue. Will I ever stop Suboxone? I certainly hope to try. I don't know when that will be. Will I ever get back into the corporate rat race? I'm not sure if I will or not. I'm doing pretty well with being "semi-retired" and hope to make it continue. Will I ever get back into active addiction? I certainly hope not. I have a long line of being successful and can only hope that I'll be successful at beating this drug addiction as well. All I can do is take it as it comes. Everything happens for a reason.

So there you have it. The one-year mark has arrived. Who would ever have thought that I'd be one of "those" people who talk about their sobriety anniversary? Certainly not me. But, here it is, my one-year anniversary.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 5:37 pm 
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First i want to say congrats your stroy touched me in a great way! I too have lost many good things in my life do to addiction! I was very close to going professionall in 2 sports till i hurt my knee an from their on i let the drugs take over instead of rehabbing and trying to get back out on the ice i just slept for half the day the other half was on so much oxy i didnt know how i ended up getting home some days. so i know what its like to lose something you love. BUT being clean is something so much better an will for ever be greatfull to this drug suboxone it has saved my life in so many ways an it has only gotten better! i got the things back that at the end of the day are way more important then any contract could pay me. like my family, my gurl and my true friends. def lost some great friends do to my addiction who i understand for not wanting anything to do with me but when all is said an done i got friends who help me threw my addiction an our relationship only got that much stronger threw this. an i was able to be the best man in my brothers wedding an remember how much fun being sober truely is. i realized i dont need drugs to be who i am!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:46 pm 
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Congrats don, you are awesome. Thank you for continuing to stick around the forum and share your knowledge and experience with us. I hope the next 365 days continue this upward trend for you.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 8:26 am 
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Congratulations and kudos to you, don! I want to echo what DOQ said about what a valuable asset you are to this forum. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. I'm glad you're part of this community. Keep up the good work.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 8:52 am 
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Donh:

When I started lurking here, about 6 or 8 weeks before I went ahead and registered an account, YOU, sir, are the person whose posts stood out to me time and time again. We have something in common, Donh, and that is we both are people who shoot from the hip. We tell it like it is, good, bad or indifferent. Back then, when I was lurking here, I remember thinking to myself, "I'm going to have to be very careful about what I write here and make sure I'm always being truthful, because not only is that the person I want to become in recovery, but if I don't, that DonH guy is going to call me out on my shit! "

One year clean -in remission with suboxone- is a tremendous achievement, Donh. You deserve some recognition for that accomplishment. Congratulations, sir.

I also want to echo what others have said. You, sir, are a tremendous asset to this community. Always thoughtful, always brutally honest. You challenge bullshit when you see it, but you do it in a way that isn't combative or rude, and I've always very much respected your approach. I feel lucky to have had a chance to communicate with you since coming here and I hope to continue that well into the future as I find your insight extremely valuable.

Keep on keeping on, my friend.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:51 pm 
Donh, congratulations and thanks for the knowlege and insight you have contributed to this forum. I wish you all the best as you continue in your recovery.

It took me acouple of days to reply because my 1 year anniversary of starting Suboxone treatment was the same week. Only, unlike you, I stumbled through my first year and didn't really start recovery until several months later. For the sake of any newcomers that might be reading this I'll share what I did. First, I tried every way I could think of to use the Sub to get high (didn't work). Then I tried to use Suboxone intermittantly with my DOC, as in take a couple days off of Sub, try to get high for a few days, and then go back on Sub. IT DOESN'T WORK if anyone is thinking about trying it. You will take a ton of your DOC in order to try to "get that feeling", but your DOC just won't work like it used to, and you'll waste a lot of money and time, not to mention putting your life at risk taking mega doses of opiates.

I read a great quote in another thread recently that went something like, "you get on Sub because you're at the end of the road, not so you can cirlce the block". So, Donh, I'd be where you are today if I hadn't circled the block a few times, but that's OK because you're leading the way and a lot of us are following. So I hope you'll "keep coming back" as they say, and I hope being here is as beneficial to you as is to the rest of us.
Lilly


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:34 pm 
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Image

Here's a nice cake for you don! I like to think of you doing an excited split-jump over the rainbow in all your newfound joy!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

And here is your one-year sober coin, which kinda looks like something from the illuminati:

Image

Rock on!

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Last edited by Diary of a Quitter on Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:08 pm 
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Why do I think sobriety was not the original intent of the design of that cake? :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:10 pm 
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Very cool, Diary, VERY COOL.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:08 pm 
DOQ- I tried to paste a picture of the coin into my post, too, but it didn't work. Howdya do it?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:35 pm 
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That's called "hotlinking" and the way you do it is you click the little picture icon just below the "B" for bold in the tool bar then you paste the URL of the picture in there.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 10:22 pm 
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Congratulations and thanks for posting that! We rarely have birthdays on here and I am not sure why, but we should do it more often. I think it is good to go back and reflect. I also have to say I agree with you about the corporate rat race. I am much happier out of it than I ever was in and think it contributed to my addiction. I am glad you are doing well and that you have remained active on the forum over time. I look forward to seeing what you post next year :-)

Cherie

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