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 Post subject: angry at who!??
PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 12:22 pm 
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funny how we get stick caught up in the bullshit because of choice.
Sitting here next to the Mississippi River listening to the waves crash.My 8 year old daughter laughing while swing and my rottweiler running having a ball.
I just have to get this anger OUT!!!!! But anger to who the man that hit me,the doctors that lied or myself for listening to them.
I'm in so much pain at this moment I want to cry scream run away something. If i had a bottle od pain pills i would diffently take a hand full J ust i dont .Why did I have to get addicted to them? Why did I have to over do them? what is my life gonna be without them? Lots of things going through my head just needed to write it down get it out and move on. Thanks for allowing me to vent
Mel

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 1:29 pm 
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Vent away Mel, get that shit out!! It's so necessary to let all that crap out or it'll consume us.

I understand you being mad at the person who hit you and being mad at yourself for "getting addicted", but I also wanted to mention something I learned early in my recovery that helped to keep me sane.....forgiveness.

Forgiving others is hard enough, but I've found that forgiving myself is the hardest thing. If you can start to forgive yourself and others, I think you'll find some nice relief.

I'm sorry if that came across as preachy....I didn't mean for it to. I just wanted to let you know it helped me and maybe you would get some benefit from it too.

Hang in there!

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 Post subject: forgivness!!!!
PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 2:39 pm 
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:wink: :shock: That just brought lots of tears !!!
You are so right Romeo.I know that man didn't mean to hurt me. And your right about forgivness I usually dont even think about it I guess its a have a pity party day for me LOL.Im not gonna let this last all day. I think it is good though to have these days it helps heal and im glad i have this site too. Thanks again

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 4:39 pm 
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Dude, I had plenty of pity parties and I cried like a baby MANY times during my recovery, especially during the first 6 months or so. God built us with the ability to cry for a reason, because soemtimes we need to do it!!!

I can't believe I'm gonna quote Beavis and Butthead, but here goes....."crying lets the sad out."

The fact that you're getting on here and venting and being honest tells me that you're getting better.

This living in recovery crap SUCKS sometimes, doesn't it?? But it's better than the life I used to have!!!!!!!!!!! :D

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:04 pm 
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Hey Mel I use to do the same thing, I blamed my Coaches, DR, parents, myself, the umpire of the game that didn’t get called till after I ruined my knee. But over time after much counseling I realized that if I keep living and dwelling on my past than how can I move on in any sense? So like Romeo mentioned I first had to forgive myself than for give the people I blamed. And after I did this I realized I was able to move on with my life. Bad memories never go away and you will always have to deal with them but if you let them live your life for you is when you are in trouble. And if you do that than things will just stay the same no matter what you do and once you get into this type of funk it is very hard to get out of it took me 7 years of heavy drug use and than being told I would die by the age of 25 to realize it is time to move on or time to just let the memories live my life for me.

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